Chapter 47

Pagdating namin sa hotel ay nagcheck-in kami. The receptionist gave me my keycard. I thanked her at saka tumingin ako kay Austin na naka-tayo sa tabi ko.

"I'll return this to you kapag tuyo na," sabi ko habang suot ko pa rin iyong coat niya. He nodded at me. "Thank you," I added tapos ay naglakad na ako papunta sa elevator. I pushed the button. Napa-tingin ako sa gilid at nakita ko na nandoon pa rin si Austin sa may reception at ngayon ay kausap niya na si Kuya Robert. Nang mapa-tingin siya sa gawi ko ay nagtama ang mga mata namin. He just nodded at me at saktong bumukas iyong elevator. I went in.

Pagdating ko sa kwarto ay agad akong pumunta sa CR. I opened the shower and waited for the hot water. I took a long bath and then wore the bathrobe dahil basa iyong damit ko. Inilagay ko sa laundry bag iyong mga basang damit ko. I washed my underwear by myself at isinampay ko iyon. I left the exhaust fan open para mas madaling matuyo. I called the reception para ipa-kuha iyon para may isusuot ako bukas.

Kinuha ko iyong cellphone ko para itext si Kuya Robert na ipa-laundry din iyong mga damit niya. Nakita ko na nasa akin iyong cellphone at wallet ni Austin. I accidentally opened it and saw that his keycard was there, too.

I tried calling Kuya Robert, but he was not answering. I called the reception to ask if Austin was there and after giving his description, they said that he was sitting by the lobby by himself. I asked them to tell him na pumunta sa floor ko. I did not want to go downstairs in my bathrobe.

Eight minutes later, someone was knocking on the door.

"Hi—" sabi niya at napa-tigil. He scanned me from head to toe. His face reddened and then he averted his gaze. He was looking at the hallway.

"Nandito iyong cellphone at wallet mo," I said. I left the door open at saka naglakad ako papunta sa may coffee table at kinuha iyong gamit niya roon. The ziplock did its job at tuyo iyong mga gamit niya.

His phone vibrated. Napa-tingin ako roon. May pumasok na text. There was a text from someone named Sofie. I looked at him and handed him his phone.

"I'm sorry I accidentally saw the name," sabi ko dahil napa-tingin ako dahil sa pagvibrate niya habang hawak ko siya.

"She's someone I work with," he said.

"Okay," I replied.

"I'm not seeing anyone."

"I didn't ask."

Tumango siya.

"You're... seeing someone?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied because it's true. I was dating Ryder. Months into it, I still was not sure kung magiging kami. I was trying to do better this time. Everything that went wrong with Austin, I listed it down and tried to work on it. I really try not to miss on any dates. I focus my attention on him when I was with him. I always try to reply to his texts and messages kahit minsan ay wala naman akong gustong sabihin.

I knew I was the problem the last time—I just did not want to be the problem again.

"Magkaka-sakit ka," sabi ko sa kanya dahil medyo natutuyo na iyong damit niya. It had been roughly an hour simula nang dumating ako sa kwarto, naligo, at nakapaglaba. Was he staying there the entire time? Hindi ba siya pwedeng magrequest ng bagong keycard?

"Right," he said. He raised his phone and wallet that he was holding with one hand. "Thanks for this."

"Sorry nalimutan ko na nasa bag ko."

"I forgot to ask, too."

Nagpaalam na siya at saka tumalikod at naglakad palayo. I thought he would go to the elevator, but he stopped just three rooms away from me. He placed the keycard against the knob. He got in and the door was shut closed.

I ordered room service for Kuya Robert's room and mine when I got hungry. Nang mayroong kumatok ay binuksan ko iyon. I thanked the guy who delivered. Pag-alis niya sa kwarto ko ay sa kwarto ni Austin naman siya kumatok. Napa-tingin si Austin sa gawi ko dahil nandoon pa rin ako at hawak iyong pagkain ko.

"Do you want to eat together?" I asked. "It's okay if you don't want to," I added because I remembered again him telling me that he'd rather that we're not friends.

Instead of answering, lumapit siya sa akin habang dala niya iyong pagkain niya. His hair was slightly damp. Naka-ligo na siya and he was wearing a navy blue pajama and plain white shirt. He smelled like aftershave. His face looked... rosy.

"Do you want to eat on the pool area?" he asked.

"Okay," I replied dahil ayokong kumain sa kwarto hanggat maaari dahil mag-aamoy ulam iyon.

Naglakad kami ni Austin papunta sa may pool area. We settled on the table near the edge. Nasa harap namin iyong infinity pool. It was so cold.

"Do you want to go back in?" he asked.

"No, it's okay."

"I'll just get my jacket," sabi niya at saka tumayo at naglakad pabalik. I hugged myself because it really was cold. Six minutes later ay bumalik si Austin. He handed me a jacket. I thanked him as I wore it. It smelled different—nag-iba siya ng pabango.

We began to eat quietly. His phone showed Sofie's name again. Binaliktad niya iyong cellphone niya at saka nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Simula nung hindi mo na ako niligawan, mayroon ka bang niligawan na iba?" I asked. I was curious... but not curious enough to search about it. Sometimes, I did wonder about him. My therapist said that it's normal to wonder, but what's not normal was to obsess about it kahit na alam mo na hindi healthy para sa 'yo. You need to recognize the problem and put an end to it.

"Too busy for that," he said.

"Busy with work or studies?"

"Work," he replied. "Just passed FSO," he added and I just stared at him. "Foreign Service Officer test," he explained. "I'm working my way up to become an ambassador."

I nodded. "Hindi ka na maglalaro?"

"I still play for fun," he said. "But I feel like I already did everything there is to do there. It's time to focus on my other interests."

"You have other interests?"

He smiled for a second. "Of course I do," sabi niya. "I really love basketball, but I also enjoy Math, History, learning new cultures and language. I also like hiking. I like working out a lot. I have random interests that I want to focus on now that I don't play basketball professionally."

I nodded. That's interesting. Ako ang interest ko lang ay ang pagsusulat ng script. I enjoy watching the movie, but I would not go as far as to say that it's one of my interests.

His phone vibrated again.

"Maybe it's important."

"Okay," sabi niya sa akin at kinuha iyong cellphone niya. He read the text, and then excused himself. Nandoon siya sa may glass. Naka-talikod siya mula sa akin. The call last for three minutes and three seconds before he was back with me.

"Sorry about that," sabi niya.

"Is she your workmate?"

"Yes."

My phone vibrated. Nandoon iyong pangalan ni Ryder Silverio. Austin was looking at it. He was staring at it. Kinuha ko iyong cellphone ko at binasa iyong text ni Ryder. He was telling me that he's tired and he wants to see me tomorrow.

"Pwede ba kaming samahan nung kausap mo kanina?" I asked because I wanted to visit Violet bago kami bumalik sa Manila.

"Yes."

"Pwede siya ng umaga?" I asked again. "I need to be back by 1PM."

"You have a date?" he asked.

"Ryder wants to see me."

He nodded as he turned his gaze from my face to the empty plate in front of him. He grabbed his phone from the table and nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I'll tell him to be there at 9AM," sabi niya at saka tumayo. "Good night," he added as he grabbed his plate at saka naglakad papasok.

* * *

I woke up at 7AM. I called for my clothes and after they were delivered ay naligo na ako at nagpalit. I went down for the breakfast. Nakita ko na nandoon si Kuya Robert kaya naman doon ako pumunta matapos kong kumuha ng pagkain ko.

"Di ba magbe-breakfast si Austin?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied.

"Text mo."

"We're not friends."

"Grabe, aayain lang kumain."

"You text him," sabi ko at saka kinuha ni Kuya Robert iyong cellphone niya at itinext si Austin.

"Mamaya pa raw siya kakain. Tsk. Nag-away ba kayo kagabi?"

"Bakit naman kami mag-aaway?"

"Ewan. Nag-usap ba kayo kagabi?"

"Sabay kaming nagdinner."

"Ano'ng pinag-usapan niyo?"

"Marami."

"Ano'ng huli niyong pinag-usapan na lang?"

"I told him na kailangan kong umuwi nang maaga dahil gusto akong makita ni Ryder sa hapon," sabi ko kay Kuya Robert na naiiling habang kuma-kain ng bacon. Half his plate was covered with bacon. That's unhealthy.

"Saan daw tayo mamaya?"

"Quezon Ave daw iyong shoot nila."

"Sasagutin mo ba 'yang Ryder na 'yan?"

"I don't know."

"Wag na."

"Why?"

"Saan ka naka-kita ng manliligaw na ikaw pa pinapa-punta sa kanya? 'Di ganyan dapat," Kuya Robert said. "Kahit tanungin mo pa Ate mo. Maling-mali 'yang manliligaw mo."

Everyone disapproves of Ryder—Dominic, Ate Gina, Kuya Robert. My parents never once asked me about him, but he's welcomed in our house.

"Busy siya sa shooting."

"Sige na lang," sabi ni Kuya Robert at hindi na namin pinag-usapan si Ryder hanggang sa matapos kaming kumain ng breakfast. After that ay nagcheckout na kami at dumiretso sa cemetery. Nandoon na iyong kausap ni Austin. Dinala niya kami sa puntod. Inilagay ko roon iyong bagong bulaklak na binili ko. It was a bouquet of Daisies dahil wala akong makita na Violet... Kapag bumalik na lang ako rito kapag kasama ko si Blue at BV.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Violet tapos ay bumalik na kami sa Manila. Dumaan muna kami sa bahay. Pumunta kami sa shoot ni Ryder ng 2PM. Hindi pa tapos iyong scene niya kaya naghintay kami. But I got hungry kaya naman lumabas ako ng van para bumili ng inumin tapos ay bumalik ako sa loob ng sasakyan.

"Hi," sabi ni Ryder nang pumasok siya sa sasakyan. He kissed my cheek. "Hi, Kuya," bati niya kay Kuya Robert na tumango sa kanya.

Ryder asked me how my day was and I told him that I just came back from Tagaytay. His forehead creased when I mentioned Austin's name.

"That's your ex, right?" he asked.

"Hindi naging kami."

"But you two dated."

"Yes."

He remained silent. Napa-tingin siya kay Kuya Robert na nasa unahan ay may naka-lagay na earphones sa tenga niya. "Karma," Ryder said. "I don't feel comfortable that you're talking with your ex."

My forehead creased.

"Okay..." I said. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you not talk to him?"

"Paano kapag nakita ko siya?"

"You can say hi, but not really talk to him?"

Hindi ako nagsalita. That would feel disrespectful... but I was dating Ryder and I needed to respect his feelings. I told him he should tell me what he wanted from me, and he did exactly that.

"Okay," I said.

"You won't talk to him anymore?"

I nodded. "Yes," I replied. And I felt like I would not see him that much, anyway. Nakita ko lang siya dahil may kinuha siya sa school and because I called him myself. If not for those reasons, hindi kami magkikita sa Manila.

"Thank you," Ryder said, kissing my cheek before he went out para bumalik sa shooting niya. Kuya Robert immediately got his earphones out and asked me kung aalis na kami. I nodded and we went home.

Pagdating namin ay nakita ko na mayroong text si Austin sa akin. He was asking me if I wanted him to bring BV to our house. I was about to say yes, but I remembered Ryder's request. So, instead, I texted him saying that I'll just ask Kuya Robert para kuhanin si BV sa bahay nila. He reacted with a thumbs up on my message. 

**
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