Chapter 22

I saw how Austin Archangel's eyes widened the moment our lips touched. He tried to get away, but that only made it worse dahil sabay kaming na-tumba sa may deck at ngayon ay naka-patong na iyong buong katawan ko sa kanya. I was holding on to him for my dear life dahil kinakabahan ako na baka bigla niya akong bitawan at mahulog ako sa mga yate. Baka magka-totoo iyong kaninang iniisip ko lang at maging pagkain na talaga ako ng mga isda.

My face was now resting against the crook of his neck. Dito niya siguro nilalagay iyong Tom Ford niya na pabango dahil amoy na amoy ko iyon.

"Hey..." pagtawag niya sa akin. Hindi pa rin ako guma-galaw at naka-kapit lang ako sa damit niya. "We have to stand up."

"How?" I asked. Gabi na. Kapag natapon ako sa dagat, mahihirapan silang hanapin ako. After 24 hours, iyong search and rescue operation ko ay magiging search na lang.

"You have to get off of me."

"Hindi ako maka-galaw."

"Okay..." sabi niya. 20 seconds siyang hindi nagsalita. Hindi rin ako gumalaw. "How about I flip us over and then I'll stand up and just carry you with me?"

"Okay," sagot ko kahit hindi ko naintindihan iyong sinabi niya dahil mas focused ako sa pagkapit sa kanya. Nasaan ba iyong mga security niya? Hindi ba nila nakikita iyong posisyon naming dalawa? Wala bang tutulong sa amin?

I did not understand what Austin Archangel was talking about... Naintindihan ko lang iyon nang pagpalitin niya iyong posisyon namin. He rolled us over hanggang nasa ibaba na ako at nasa itaas ko siya. And then he did a push-up and literally carried me with him. Humawak siya sa railings nung yate hanggang sa maka-tayo kaming dalawa. I was still holding on to his shirt.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Pwede ba akong kumapit sa 'yo habang naglalakad tayo pabalik?"

He nodded. "Of course," he said while draping his arm over my shoulder. Kalmado na iyong alon, pero kina-kabahan pa rin ako. It would only take one wild wave to flip this yacht over. Ayokong mamatay sa pagka-lunod. I already made a decision na mamamatay ako habang tulog ako. I made a list of the ways I did not want to die—my top three are drowning, being buried alive, and someone putting a plastic over my head. I knew the odds are in my favor, but I would still not take my chances.

Nang maka-pasok kami sa loob ay pina-upo ako ni Austin Archangel.

"Do you want water?" he asked.

I nodded and then I reached for the tumbler inside my bag. Natigilan si Austin Archangel. Tahimik akong uminom. I did a breathing exercise I was taught until I calmed myself down.

"Everything okay?" tanong ni Gio.

"Yeah," sagot ni Austin Archangel. "Let's go back."

"Aight."

Ibinalik ni Austin Archangel iyong tingin niya sa akin. Naupo siya sa katapat na upuan habang hindi inaalis iyong tingin sa akin.

"Uh..." he said. I looked at him, waiting for what he was going to say. Muli akong napa-kapit nang umuga iyong yate dahil sa alon. Okay. Hindi na ako babalik pa rito. One near death experience was more than enough. Masaya na ako sa dalampasigan.

I closed my eyes and counted inside my head to calm myself down. It took me counting to 2,078 bago sabihin ni Gio sa amin na nasa dock na kami. I opened my eyes and the first thing that I saw was Austin Archangel looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he replied.

Tumayo na para maka-labas na. Inalalayan ako ni Austin Archangel hanggang sa maka-sampa ako sa dock. Naka-hinga na rin ako nang maluwag nang maramdaman ko iyong buhangin at iyong lupa.

"That was quite an experience," I said.

"About that—"

Napa-tingin ako sa cellphone ko dahil biglang nagtext si Mama at tina-tanong kung pauwi na raw ba kami. Tumingin ako kay Austin Archangel para itanong kung uuwi na ba kami. Tumango naman siya kaya nagreply ako kay Mama na pauwi kami. Tatlong oras din ang byahe pabalik kaya mas mabuti na umalis na kami ngayon.

There was a traffic papunta sa toll gate. I heard Austin Archangel's stomach grumble. I got the sandwich from my tote bag at ini-abot iyon kay Austin Archangel.

"It's ham sandwich na gawa ni Ate Gina," I said.

"Thank you," sabi niya.

Naka-hinto kami at mayroon pang 15 na sasakyan sa harapan namin. It was 7:09PM, so the heavy traffic was already expected dahil tinignan ko na rin sa traffic app.

"Can I eat?" I asked because Papa had a rule na bawal kumain sa sasakyan. Papa was protective of his watches and his cars. Sa ibang bagay naman ay hindi siya mahigpit.

"Sure," sabi ni Austin Archangel.

I opened the sandwich wrapper and ate. Gutom na rin ako dahil nung lunch pa iyong huling kain namin. Hindi ko napansin iyong gutom dahil nag-enjoy ako sa panonood namin ng sunset. Nag-enjoy din ako sa pag-uusap namin ni Austin Archangel. He's nice to talk to. He did not get offended... o baka iniisip ko lang iyon?

"Hindi ka ba na-ooffend sa mga sinasabi ko?" I asked.

"Why would I be offended?"

I shrugged. "I know that sometimes, I tend to come off as insensitive."

"I don't think that," sagot niya. "You just say what you mean. Sometimes, that still escapes me, but I'm trying to constantly remind myself that when it comes to you, there's no 'hidden' meaning."

"Kagaya nung sa girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yes..."

"I just did not think na may maguguluhan doon... Kasi bakit mo naman ako magiging girlfriend? I thought it was understood that I meant girl space friend."

The car in front of us moved kaya naman umapak siya sa pedal. And then he stopped. Naka-tingin lang siya sa may harapan habang naka-hawak ang mga kamay sa manibela.

"Karaminah Viel," he said.

"Austin Archangel," I replied as I was finishing my sandwich. Hindi niya pa nagagalaw iyong sa kanya. Akala ko ay gutom siya dahil tumunog iyong tiyan niya.

"About what happened earlier..."

"Alin doon?" tanong ko dahil maraming nangyari. Kumain kami, nagkwentuhan, nanood ng sunset, at muntik ng mamatay. He needed to be more specific.

"About the kiss."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Kiss?"

He nodded. "Yes... Earlier... When you—" sabi niya tapos ay natigilan. Tumikhim din siya. Naka-hawak pa rin iyong mga kamay niya sa manibela, pera inialis niya iyong kaliwang kamay niya para suklayin iyong kulot niyang buhok. "Didn't you remember?"

I replayed what happened in the boat. Medyo gumalaw iyon dahil sa malakas na alon. Muntik na akong matumba dahil doon kaya naman hinila ako ni Austin Archangel para hindi ako matumba kaya naman—

"Oh... that," I said, remembering how our lips touched. My eyes widened a little. "We're each other's first kiss," I stated although I did not know if that would qualify as a first kiss dahil base sa mga nabasa ko, parang hindi naman. Sa mga sagot nila, a kiss is nothing like that—sa version pa nga ni Dominic ay may participation pa ang mga kamay at ang dila niya palagi.

"It was an accident, though," I continued. "You're permitted to not consider that as your first kiss."

Napa-awang ang labi niya. "What?"

"I don't really care about my first kiss, but maybe you do. I-reserve mo iyong first kiss mo sa magiging girlfriend mo," I told him. "Umandar na iyong sasakyan," I pointed out kaya naman napa-tingin si Austin Archangel doon at saka nagdrive ulit.

Nang maka-lagpas kami sa toll gate ay dire-diretso na iyong pagda-drive niya. Nakikita ko na napapa-tingin siya sa akin sa rearview mirror. I would ask him why, but he would not give me an answer.

When he pulled over in front of the house, I unbuckled the seatbelt. I checked the content of the totebag. Nandoon lahat ng gamit ko. I needed to check it dahil kapag hindi tapos nakita ko mamaya na may kulang, hindi ako makaka-tulog sa kaka-isip kung saan ko naiwanan iyon.

I looked at Austin Archangel. "Thank you for today," I said.

Lumabas na ako sa sasakyan niya. Maglalakad na sana ako papasok sa bahay. Napa-tingin ako nang marinig ko iyong pagbukas ng pinto at nakita ko na lumabas din siya doon.

I looked at him, waiting kung ano ang sasabihin niya o kung may naka-limutan ba siya.

"It's only 9:47," he said.

"I know," I replied dahil mayroon din naman akong relo.

"I mean, your curfew's at 11PM," he said. "Do you want to walk around first?"

I looked around. Hindi pa ako nakakapaglakad sa gabi dito sa subdivision dahil wala naman akong kasama. Hindi ko pwedeng isama si Blue maglakad kapag gabi dahil sigurado ako na kapag may nangyari sa amin, iiwanan niya lang ako.

"Okay," I replied.

Sabay kaming naglakad. There was a 12 inches space in between us. The air felt cold against my skin. Ramdam ko iyong pagtaas ng mga balahibo ko. I wanted to wrap the scarf around my body, but then I remembered na ginamit nga pala namin iyon para upuan kanina sa may buhanginan.

Tahimik lang kaming naglalakad hanggang sa maka-rating kami sa may playground. It was empty dahil gabi na.

"You wanna sit on the swing?" he asked. I shook my head. "I'll spray alcohol."

I shrugged. "Okay," sagot ko dahil sa isa sa mga napa-nood kong movie ay naka-upo iyong bidang babae sa may swing at itinu-tulak siya nung bidang lalaki. Austin Archangel sprayed alcohol on the seat and then grabbed a handful of tissue at saka pinunasan iyon. "Thank you," I said after he motioned na maupo ako roon.

I sat on the swing. Akala ko ay itutulak ako ni Austin Archangel kagaya nung sa mga palabas kaya lang ay naupo siya roon sa may katabi. Naka-tuwid iyong mga legs kagaya nung sa akin kaya naman kitang-kita ko kung gaano kahaba iyong legs niya kumpara sa akin.

"Did you really mean that?" he asked.

I was trying to swing myself gamit iyong mga paa ko. "Mean what?"

"That you didn't care that I was your first kiss?"

Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Our lips barely touched," I replied. "I did not think that it was a proper kiss," I continued.

"Yes, but still..."

"But still what?" I asked because I hated hanging questions. Kung hindi niya itatanong ngayon, that would keep me up at night and I would hate it.

"You're still my first kiss and I'm still yours."

"I know."

"And... that's it?"

I nodded. "We accidentally kissed," I stated dahil iyon naman talaga ang nangyari. "It's not like the other kisses wherein the two characters decided to kiss... Kasalanan nung alon iyong nangyari sa ating dalawa," I explained.

Hindi nagsalita si Austin Archangel. I focused on trying to swing myself, but in the middle of trying, tumayo si Austin Archangel at tumayo sa likuran ko. He gently pushed me kaya naman nakapagswing na ako. Iniangat ko iyong mga paa ko para hindi sumayad sa lupa.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" I asked, confused because what was he apologizing for?

"For accidentally taking your first kiss," he replied. "It should've been like something straight out from the movies."

"Not your fault," I said.

"Still, I'm really sorry. I wish it could've been better."

"How? You don't have the experience."

"I don't need experience."

"How would you know?"

"I just know."

"Dominic said—"

He groaned. "Please let's not talk about him now?"

Lumingon ako at nakita ko na naka-simangot siya. "Why?"

"I just don't want to talk about him."

"Okay," I said. "Don't beat yourself about it—I was not expecting much from you. It was your first kiss."

Napa-awang iyong labi niya. "Hey, that's foul."

"Why?"

"I think I can kiss better than that."

"I guess I'll never know," sabi ko at saka tumalikod. Hinihintay ko na muli niya akong itulak, pero lumipas ang 10 segundo, pero hindi pa rin ako guma-galaw. I turned around and saw that he was probably staring at my back dahil nang lumingon ako ay agad na nagtama ang mga mata namin.

"If you give me a chance, I'll prove it," he said.

"Did you brush your teeth?" I asked but he was silent.

"I... have a gum."

Tumayo na ako dahil mukhang hindi na ako itutulak pa ni Austin Archangel. I dusted the sand from my shorts. I looked at him and shook my head. "Not the same thing," I said before I told him na kailangan na naming maglakad pabalik ng bahay. 

**

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