Chapter 19

The whole of Saturday and Sunday, nagfocus ako sa pagpolish ng script ko. Dominic told me that I could go to Brent at may pool naman daw doon, so we could do the demonstration during his break, pero umulan nang malakas and I refused to go outside. Instead, I just looked for movies na mayroong ganoong mga scenes. I watched them while I was enjoying my cup of hot chocolate. It was already okay since alam ko naman na kung paano ide-describe iyong kissing scenes—I got enough input from 4 individuals.

When Monday came, balik na naman kami sa training. Simula na ng second round nung season and after this, iyong championship na. This semester felt long and I was excited for it to end dahil gusto ko na mag-enroll. I was excited to officially be a Creative Writing student.

"Good morning," bati ni Serj sa akin. Pareho kaming naka-upo sa bench at pinapa-nood iyong mga players na magwarm up. I heard him yawning. I looked at him and he was now stretching his arms. "Inumaga kami sa shoot," he said.

"Tapos na kayo magshoot?"

"Almost—check lang namin iyong footage if okay. Sa postprod na iyong iba," sagot niya sa akin.

"Ano'ng mangyayari after ng shoot?"

"Postprod?" sabi niya sa akin. "Editing, coloring, sound effects, mag-add ng mga kanta ganon."

I nodded. It sounded so interesting. I wanted to become a great writer and be involved with things like this—I needed to be great para kumita ako ng pera. I was still a student, so my parents have the responsibility to send me to school and to feed me. But once I graduate, I'd be on my own. I needed to be good at this field I chose despite protest from my mother.

Our conversation was cut short nang tawagin kami ni Coach Aldrin. Nagsimula na naman iyong trabaho namin. It was already 8AM nang matapos iyong training. I was so tired—and it was so weird kung bakit pagod din ako kahit na hindi naman ako naglaro. I thought that by this time, masasanay na ako.

"Good morning," sabi ni Austin Archangel sa akin.

"Good morning," bati ko sa kanya. Late siyang dumating kanina kaya naman nagjogging siya palibot sa court. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit late siya, pero ontime naman dumating iyong dalawang kapatid niya. Bakit hindi sila sa iisang sasakyan na lang sumakay? Didn't they know that they'd be saving so much money tutal sa iisang lugar lang naman ang pupuntahan nila?

"Don't you care about the environment?" I asked.

His forehead creased. "What?" he asked as he was opening his bottle of the blue Gatorade—pansin ko na iyon ang lagi niyang kinu-kuha. He was wearing a maroon jersey shorts—iyong suot pa rin niya kanina, pero nakapagpalit na siya ng puting t-shirt na plain. Suot niya ulit iyong gold na kwintas na may pendant na cross. May maliliit na butil ng pawis ang nasa noo niya.

"Hindi kayo sa iisang sasakyan suma-sakay ni Saint."

"Oh, that," sabi niya. "Saint goes to Mary after practice, so there's that. And Cohen wants to go home immediately after practice."

"Ikaw? Hindi ka ba uuwi din?"

He just shrugged. "Back then, Saint made us plant, I think, hundreds of trees—I think we've done our part in saving the environment."

My lips parted a little at the information, so I asked him tungkol doon. Nagkwento siya sa akin sa kung papaano pinilit siya ni Saint na magtanim sila at iyon ang regalo ni Saint sa girlfriend niya nung debut nito. That was actually quite nice. And good for the environment.

"Saint's very creative," I stated.

"You think?"

I nodded. "Yes—I might use that in one of my stories," sabi ko sa kanya. "His girlfriend cares about the environment, so he gave her a gift that would matter to her. That's very creative of him."

Tahimik na tumango si Austin Archangel. Mukhang free-cut na naman yata siya dahil sinamahan niya ako para tiklupin iyong mga towels. Sobrang antuk na antok si Serj kaya naman sinabi ko sa kanya na ako na ang bahala rito—after all, nung ako ang nasa posisyon niya, sinabihan niya rin naman ako na umuwi na ako at matulog.

We were standing under the sun habang hina-hawakan ko kung tuyo na ba iyong mga tuwalya.

"Ate Gina told me to ask you if we're friends or friend-friend."

Napa-tingin siya sa akin. I slightly closed my eyes because when he turned his head, direktang tumama iyong sinag ng araw sa mga mata ko.

I moved.

Nang hindi na ako naaarawan ay iminulat ko ang mga mata ko at tumingin kay Austin Archangel. His eyes were slightly wide open and his lips were slightly parted. "What?" he asked. I repeated what I just said earlier and just stared at him. Hindi pa naman masyadong tuyo iyong mga sampay. Ayokong kuhanin hanggang hindi pa tuyo talaga dahil nagiging mabaho siya.

"I already told her na magkaibigan lang tayo, but she wanted me to ask you for clarification daw," I said. "Are we friends or friend-friend?"

Kinuha ni Austin Archangel iyong towel kahit hindi pa naman tuyo iyon at saka tinupi niya. "We're friends right now," he said.

"I know—I already told her that. I don't know why she wanted me to clarify," sabi ko at saka inilahad iyong kamay ko. Kumunot ang noo niya. "Hindi pa 'yan tuyo—mabaho kapag hindi sobrang tuyo."

Austin Archangel handed over the towel. Naghintay kami ng 5 minutes pa bago kinuha iyong mga towels. He helped me to fold them and then put them in the box and back to the storage area. Paglabas namin ng court ay naharang kami dahil mayroong nagpa-picture kay Austin Archangel na mga students from College of Fine Arts base sa ID lace nila.

"For you, kuya," sabi nung isang babae at mayroong inabot na paper bag kay Austin Archangel. Tumingin sa akin iyong babae. "Gift lang po, Ate. Idol po kasi namin."

Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa paliwanag nila. "Okay," I said.

Siniko nung naka-pixie cut na buhok iyong babae na mahaba iyong buhok. "Told you—mabait iyong girlfriend," she whispered, but I still managed to hear it. Nang makita niyang naka-tingin ako sa kanila ay nginitian niya ako. I did not usually smile at strangers who smile at me, but this was an unprecedented situation, so I just gave back the smile. They thanked both of us at saka umalis.

"You're really famous," I pointed out dahil hindi ata matatapos ang isang araw na walang nagpapa-picture sa kanya. Ganito rin kaya kapag off-season? Kung sabagay, he's from a prominent family. Kahit nga si Papa ay kilala siya kahit sa pangalan lang.

"It comes with the territory, I guess," sabi niya. "You'll be a famous screenwriter, too. Are you prepared for that?"

I looked at him. "You think so?"

He nodded. "A hundred percent."

"Saan base 'yan? Hindi mo pa naman nababasa iyong script."

He laughed. "I just think so," he said. "You work so hard for your script—it'll pay off."

I gave him a small smile. "Sana nga."

When I was starting to write the script, I was so excited because of the new things I learned... but as I was reaching the completion, nagsimula akong kabahan. Kasi papa-tapos na. May finished product na. At may mga gustong bumasa...

And once you put your work out there, you'd have to face the reality that not everyone will like your work.

I already experienced being rejected—I tossed it to it being my first time. But if I get rejected again? While fully knowing that I gave it my all and really did my best?

Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa akin?

Would I be heartbroken?

Would I still be able to continue writing?

"When your script becomes a movie, can I score a premiere ticket?"

I looked at him. "Can we not talk about this?"

Nawala iyong ngiti sa mukha niya. "Why? What did I say wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. I just don't want to talk about it," sabi ko. Nakita ko na agad iyong sasakyan. Humarap ako kay Austin Archangel. "I will send you the script via email. Thank you," I continued before I walked towards the car.

"Ayos ka lang?" tanong ni Kuya Robert nang pumasok ako sa sasakyan.

"No, not really," I said as I buckle my seatbelt.

"Inaway ka ba? Nako, kahit mas matangkad 'yan at ma-muscle, isang sipa sa tuhod lang 'yan," sabi ni Kuya Robert habang paalis na kami ng school.

"Sino ang sisipain mo sa tuhod?"

"Si Austin, sino pa ba?"

"Bakit mo siya sisipain?"

Saglit na tumingin sa akin si Kuya Rober. "Ay, ewan," sabi niya. "Kausapin mo na lang si Ate mo kung may problema ka," he said. I just nodded. Sinasabi ko naman kay Ate Gina kung may problema ako, pero kapag hindi ko masabi, I just write it down in an email that's scheduled to be sent back to me after 5 years. So far, 2 email na iyong buma-balik sa akin. Isa iyong email ko sa sarili ko nung unang beses akong humiling ng pusa, pero hindi ako pinagbigyan. I was so sad, but I didn't want to talk about it, so I just wrote it down. The second time was when Mama made me go to a doctor for diagnosis. I was sad because that meant that I wasn't normal—but I was glad I went. I understood myself a whole lot better instead of just constantly questioning why I wasn't like everyone else.

Pagbalik sa bahay, nagbrunch ako tapos ay umakyat na ako sa kwarto. I took a bath before I gave my script one final read before ko i-send kay Austin Archangel.

'Can I read it now?'

'If you want.'

Na-seen niya iyong message ko. I closed my laptop and laid on my bed. Naka-tingin ako sa dingding. I tried to count the stars, but the color was very faint dahil maaga pa. When I was younger, naglagay si Papa ng mga adhesive na stars sa dingding para bini-bilang ko iyon kapag hindi ako maka-tulog.

My phone vibrated.

'If you have any problem, you can talk to me.'

I sighed. Why was I worrying about something that hasn't happened yet? I sat down and grabbed my phone.

'Can I call?'

'Yes.'

I dialed his number and he answered even before the first ring could end.

"Nabasa mo na ba?"

"Not yet," sabi niya. "Why?"

"I'm just worried—what if pangit iyong sinulat ko? I really did give it my best."

He was silent for 5 seconds. "Good or bad, everything's subjective, right?"

"But there are still things which are conventionally good—and I need to achieve that to succeed," sabi ko sa kanya. I needed to be good—to be great. Kasi kung hindi, habang buhay na lang akong aasa kila Mama? Or would I be forced to go back to Legal Management?

"I will read this and I will tell you if it's good or if it's bad," sabi niya.

I sighed. "Okay..."

"Although I don't know if I'm the best judge because I really don't read or watch romantic books or movies."

"That's not pure romance."

"With mystery?"

"Yes."

"Then I already half-like it."

"Really?"

"Really," sabi niya sa akin. "Do you have plans today?"

"Wala naman, bakit?"

"I'll ask your parents, but if they say yes, do you want to go to the beach?" tanong niya sa akin. "Because when I feel down, I go to the beach to breathe."

"Saan?"

"Punta Fuego," he replied.

"Okay," I said. "Kung papayagan ako."

"Okay," he replied. "I'll text you."

We ended the call. Bumalik ako sa pagkaka-higa. I tried to sleep, but after counting to 178, nagvibrate iyong phone ko.

'Will pick you up in an hour. Bring an extra set of clothes, just in case,' text niya sa akin. Tapos ay may dumating ulit na isa. 'Whatever happens, you already have a fan in me.' 

**

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