Some days I wonder why I'm even still trying. I'm just a kid with a speech disability and some serious anxiety. As well as a talent for ruining things. 

Most of the time I'm just wanting to cease existing. It's so much effort to talk and I feel so useless. Other humans scare me and I hate it when people shout, it makes m very anxious. 

It's really scary ya know, I'm going to be 18 this year, that's the age when teens are considered adults where I live and well I never even completely earned how to be a kid. I was never accepted in school. I was one of those weird kids on the sidelines. I was so happy when I dropped out last year but now I'm still way under and I don't know if I should keep fighting. Maybe I should just let myself drown. It gets so tiring and depression kicks in, doubts come flooding in. 

I'm not gonna kill myself or anything but it's so disheartening to be trying so hard all the time and never get anywhere.  It seems like some people don't try very hard at all and stuff just works for them. But then I have to work harder just to do something simple like talking to my mum about something. It is a little easier talking to people I know better and feel more comfortable around. But it's hard especially when people don't care or they just don't have the patience. 

Being very sensitive to emotions means how I see the world is mostly through how I feel about things. This does make it very confusing sometimes. I think people tend to underestimate how much emotions change their world and being hit with strong doses of sadness or anger from other people can really hurt.