Well I did say I would post a proper update yesterday so here it is.

One of the biggest things that has happened lately was I pulled out of school. I was in grade eleven but I was just so sick of it. Some people dislike school only because they are made to do work but I was not one of those people. I absolutely loathed school, still do. If school was a person they would have been killed by me years ago.

There are many reasons I hate school so much. First of all, it is mostly ineffective. It teaches students to spend a life time slaving away for other people instead of making investments and how to not get into debt. It takes their creativity away and tries to fit everyone into the same mould. But more damaging for me was the situations it put me in.
When I first started school everything was fine. Amy and I were in the same class, we were living at the farm. Two siblings living with their two parents. Okay so maybe everything was not so good but it was about to get so much worse.

Mum decided she had had enough of an abusive relationship and was finally able to leave for good. This is a really good thing but it caused so much disruption to our little family. I was five years old, whereas Amy was four and Sim hadn't even been born yet. I cannot begin to tell you how damaging it was to me to have to bear witness to such fights and shouting matches as mum and dad had. It is not something you just get over, it affects you for your whole life.

It was always something I couldn't really talk about. One of the worst things school did however was put my sister and I in different classes. She is only one year younger that me so I couldn't remember a time when she wasn't there. We work so well together, the perfect team. And we balance each other out. I struggled so much because I didn't have her there.

Other things that I really hate about school are the fact that they tell you when and how to do everything. I was forced to be constantly around so many people which I found really hard to handle. And don't even get me started on the uniforms.

I felt so trapped and unable to to be myself. School terrified me and it's a fear that is still as potent today as the first day I was left at that terrible place. I wanted to run away so often. I would dream of just climbing the fence and running out but I didn't want to cause mum any more trouble so I did my best. After time it made me cold hearted and seemingly emotionless. Which is something I am trying so hard to recover from.