baekhyun's word crisis and his representation as the embodiment of a human disaster

Byun Baekhyun has come to the realization that he's like the star of a cheesy Christmas romance movie.

Or a novel, doesn't really matter.

What does matter is the fact that he's running faster than his heart is racing to where he dropped off Chanyeol the previous day. Thinking about it, his plan of... running into the cold winter in nothing but a jacket (which is open and unzipped, mind you) is probably not the best idea ever. Then again, since when did he have any good ideas?

For Chanyeol! his mind cheers, reminding him of the reason why he chose to sacrifice the warmth of a room with a heater in the first place.

That living beanstalk owes him hot chocolate and cuddles if all goes well.

It will, you anxious piece of shit, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Kyungsoo butts in. Baekhyun bites back a snarky reply to himself, telling himself that his dongsaeng may or may not have telepathic abilities and being a bitch will only come back to bite him in the ass. He's not going to risk any part of his beautiful body, thank you very much and have a nice day.

"Oh, shit, sorry!" he exclaims, looking up to realize he bumped into the wall of Chanyeol's apartment building.

Oops.

Embarrassment prompts redness to color his cheeks as he stares at the very interesting pavement, refusing to check if anyone saw or heard his display of being a human disaster. He apologized to a concrete wall, like, yeah, they can have feelings too or whatever but that will not end well for him if someone shares his gracefulness to the world via the internet.

Why is he even overthinking this? He's been spending too much time with Yixing-hyung.

As he enters the apartment building, pleased to find some escape from the frosty winds of winter, his whole body is wracked by a shiver and he exhales. A small puff appears in front of his lips as he does so, thus he pats his cheeks to get the blood flowing and blows at his palms before rubbing them together for heat. Yeah, maybe not the best idea known to man to run into a snowstorm in the name of love.

Squaring his shoulders, Baekhyun rubs his sneakers on the floor mat and then marches to the elevator. "Right, okay, channel my inner Luhan-hyung. Use Soo-yah's wisdom... Pep talk; declare the truth confidently. I'm—I am Byun Baekhyun and I am gonna get my man."

He shakes his head. "No, no. Stuttering is bad, Soo-yah can hear it even across the ocean and will stab you with a spatula later. Louder and with more confidence. You can do this, Baekhyun. I can do this. I am Byun Baekhyun and I am gonna get my man." Pressing the up button, he taps his foot on the floor as the elevator descends.

"I am Byun Baekhyun and I'm gonna get my man!" Inhaling deeply, he says it louder and with more power. He points at his reflection on the elevator and jabs his finger in its direction. "I AM BYUN BAEKHYUN AND I'M GONNA GET MY MAN—"

The elevator doors open.

Baekhyun lets out an inhumane squawk of surprise, face heating up even more in shame as he abruptly drops his outstretched hand.

"...You are Byun Baekhyun and you're gonna get your man," Taehyung chirps with a hint of light playfulness in his voice. He gives his hyung a wide smile that radiates sunshine and happiness and a hidden deviousness because he is a disrespectful dongsaeng who is secretly a sadist who wants to watch his hyung suffer, yes he is. "Hello, Baekhyun-ssiii!"

The elder stammers in his attempt to string together a response that won't give him the urge to impulse buy twenty stationery notebooks and fifty packs of washi tape to relieve his stress. "T-Taehyung-ssi," he greets, already off to a fantastic start, "you don't have to be too respectful to me, just call me hyung, if you want."

His prayers of the subject changing from his screaming is answered by a miracle as Taehyung exits the elevator and beams, "Then you can call me Taehyung! Or any nickname, hyung, talk to me informally." The rectangular smile he's given is blinding and contagious happiness infects him like a virus.

"Okay, Tae-yah." Baekhyun manages to put together his composure to hide that his life is a Gay Mess like Sehun's hair that one time Minseok dared Yixing to use all of the maknae's dye on Sehun. The end product was bright multicolored rainbow hair that was fairy and unicorn vomit mixed into one franken-hairstyle.

"That's the spirit!" Taehyung's sing song voice exclaims as he gives the elder a thumbs up. His eyes glance at his watch. "Wait, sorry. Excuse me, I really wanna hang out but I'm hanging out with Seokjin-hyung later and you gotta... do your thing."

Sidestepping, Baekhyun nods and politely makes way for the younger to go on with his day. Using his nonexistent power of telepathy, he hopes that he portrays his message of 'Please don't embarrass me any further because I already have a grave ten feet in the ground ready for me' loud and clear. Taehyung, thankfully, seems to be on his side as the younger skips past him to go about his day and forget all about the clumsiness of Byun Baekhyun.

"Ne." Baekhyun cranes his neck to call out to his dongsaeng, who turns to him with a curious expression. "Bye, Tae-yah, take care!" The younger flashes him another blinding rectangular smile, showing off the flawless and pearly white teeth to die for.

"You're Byun Baekhyun and you're gonna get your man! Hwaiting!"

At Baekhyun's gaping face and audible gasp, Taehyung takes the opportunity to turn and exit the premises, leaving the elder alone and feeling incredibly attacked and betrayed right now.

"Disrespectful dongsaeng!" he cries out once he snaps out of his stupor, "I'll find some other cafe to cry over my exams! May you be unemployed!" That's a lie, and he can hear Taehyung laughing at the prospect of it; Café Universe has some of the greatest drinks conceived by man and is the perfect place to study useless algebraic shit and weep over qualification exams. Still, though, he's gonna get revenge on all the disrespect he's been receiving for the past days or so.

Just you wait, he thinks as he aggressively presses the button for the elevator doors and enters it.

Glaring at the security camera, he's wary that it'll grow a mouth and join in the crusade of roasting his ass until it's practically burned barbecue. Baekhyun selects Chanyeol's floor and keeps all his pep talks internal in case the doors bust open and someone he knows is standing there with a camera to immortalize him. At least the brief exchange with his dongsaeng gave him some time to clear his head and revert his attention elsewhere, soothing his nerves from the electricity pulsing through them.

He plays with his fingers, a nervous habit that he's been doing a lot lately. Intertwining and curling his slender fingers with one another, he suddenly wonders what it would feel like to play with Chanyeol's hair—Focus! he scolds himself.

It'd probably feel soft between my fingers, the other side of his mind ignores his reprimanding as his thoughts are invaded by a man with big ears, a big heart, and a beautiful smile. Think about it, Baekhyun: he's like a cute oversized golden retriever that can secretly kill you with his gaze—

Ding!

Baekhyun startles and nearly falls on his butt as the elevator doors spring open on his chosen floor. He's in a hapkido ready stance prepared to fight someone when he remembers that he's alone and looks nothing short of stupid.

Dropping his stance, he bows his head slightly at the security camera, embarrassed that someone may look at the feed in the future and find what looks to be a young adult male fighting an elevator. Everything's going well for Baekhyun today, thank you for your concern.

Speed walking out of the glorified box, he glances at the legend and takes a right, locating Chanyeol's apartment. Patting his pockets for his phone, it comes to his attention that he doesn't have it. Groaning, he recalls typing (his crush's) Chanyeol's address in his contacts, and so he's left to a gamble of praying that the address he remembers is correct.

Raising a fist to the door, he knocks.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

The sound of his knuckles against the surface is loud and he winces. Oops, too loud? Then, he panics. Oh, no. What if Chanyeol is sleeping and I just disturbed his beauty sleep and now he's mad at me and doesn't want to be friends anymore—

The door opens.

Baekhyun screams in the highest octave known to man.

"Oh my fucking God. Please tell me you're going to confess to Yoda or I'm throwing you out the window." Chanyeol's friend is standing there with raised eyebrows and exasperation written all over his face.

Stopping his yelling, the elder shuts his mouth to formulate a reply that sounds like Korean. "Um, um, yes"—his mind blanks out as he attempts to remember a name—"J-Jonggay-ssi."

"Jonggay?"

Baekhyun sees his entire life flash before his eyes and has a flashback of his bloody escape from the uterus.

"Well, shit, man. It's Jongdae, dae not gay. Try to keep the exposing to a minimum, Baekhyun-ssi." The amused twinkle in Jongdae's eyes is what prompts Baekhyun to tentatively and warily add the other in the growing list of participants dedicated to the cause and mission of the Expose Byun Baekhyun Campaign.

"I'm—sorry, oh my God, sorry, J-Jongdae-ssi. I'm just here to-to—" Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why is his native language suddenly gibberish to him? Work, brain, work! All the confidence and remaining shreds of dignity he thought he has are already chipping themselves away as he deflates.

"Confess to Chan?"

The elder tenses like a Luhan caught in headlights before nodding vigorously in agreement. Jongdae's relieved grin soothes him slightly as he opens the door and makes way. "Just making sure you're not completing a hit list. Go get yourself that dick, Byun Baekhyun."

He's around two feet into the apartment before Jongdae loudly declares, "Oh, and, if you break Chan's heart, I'll break your face with your SHINee albums. His room is the door with the bigass picture of samgyeopsalat." The promise bordering a threat makes the hair on Baekhyun's arms stand up and he nods, rather fond of his face and his impeccable Shawol Shrine.

Shit, Taemin's not gonna agree to replace Sehun if their CDs get disrespected like that.

"U-understood."

Trudging through the rather nice flat and its furniture, he enters a hallway and finds the door he's looking for.

Only then does feel his hands clamp up, sweaty and the temperature rising. Is it time to regret his actions? Maybe he can turn back and sing Christmas carols instead of facing what will either be his death or resurrection, except he isn't a messiah sent to cleanse the world of its sins.

Raising his fist, he lightly taps it against the door, the sound of thudding almost inaudible. Tap, tap, tap. He hears shuffling through the thin walls and a few bumps. In the few seconds of terrifying silence, he begins writing his will with the consent to donate Oh Sehun to any willing bidder and the proceeds of the auction will go to local charities.

"Baekhyunnie?"

His heart jumps to his throat as he meets Chanyeol's wide eyes. Suddenly, breathing is hard for him as he just stares, undeniably starstruck by the way the light casts delicate shadows on the taller's face. It's like looking up into the heavens and catching a glimpse of an angel. The pounding in his chest and ears have got to be hearable from fifty miles away because they're loud and insistent and refuse to go away.

"C-come in, please," Chanyeol stammers and he can't help the fond feeling in his chest when the younger ushers him in the room. "Did you just, um, decide to come here?"

If someone else asked that, Baekhyun would've put on an act on how his presence should be appreciated and worshipped; except Chanyeol's asking so what comes out of his mouth is something along the lines of, "...Yeah, I'm, ah, sorry if it's sudden." He answers in a small voice, directing his eyes to the decor of the bedroom to distract himself.

Small knick-knacks decorate the desk, albums of kpop, American, and other artists are arranged spotlessly atop the shelves, and there's the elephant in the room of a bigass TVXQ! poster above Chanyeol's bed.

Like, directly over the bed so that whenever someone is to lay down, they'll look up and have the Rising Gods of the East bless their eyeballs with godly visuals. The fact that it features them as five hurts Baekhyun's heart a little, but he'd rather be damned than be accused of being some sort of fake fan. His wallet is shriveling up into a prune as the days go on but he can always leech off of Junmyeon to support his musical escapades.

"...hyunnie. Baekhyunnie."

Blinking and reconnecting with the world, Baekhyun turns around and nearly belts a high note again at their proximity. "N-ne?" He moves back a bit for some space to breathe because even bare-faced Chanyeol still manages to pierce his heart with his handsomeness. That messy hair look should be illegal.

"Never mind."

Chanyeol is clearly being eaten up by curiosity but is all too polite to push for an explanation. Guilt churns in Baekhyun's stomach, egging him on to spill out word vomit to profess his undying love for the taller, who has his hands clasped in front of him in a respectful stance. How does he word a thousand thoughts? A million expressions of his intense adoration?

Baekhyun takes a brave step closer, legs as heavy as rock and refusing to stop shaking. The taller makes no move to stop him; he takes that as a good sign.

"Um..." The elder bites his lip, unsure of what to do with his flailing hands. "I—uh—" He looks down only to see Chanyeol's big hands enclosing his small ones.

Ba-dump.

Snapping his head back up, he feels his face heat up even more. Chanyeol's hands are soft and nice, pleasant to hold and his thumbs are rubbing soothing patterns onto Baekhyun's skin. The younger's dark eyes are patient and understanding, and Baekhyun can see the galaxy, stars, and meteors in those dark pools the shade of the abyss.

There's an electric current sizzling in his soul as they keep their eye contact, enamored by one another.

He's pulled by a mysterious tug in his gut; a strange knowing that he can share the secrets of the universe with Chanyeol and trust that he'll lock it away in the depths of his heart for no one else to ever discover. Baekhyun caves in after a moment of silence, weak to his stubborn will and murmurs:

"I-I think I like you."

He holds his breath as a multitude of emotions pass Chanyeol's face. The hands holding his own squeeze his palms lightly and his heart outruns the speed of light, thinking he imagined the subtle comforting gesture.

"Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol's voice is like a light through the fog, cutting through the swirling regret and doubt in his mind, "I like you too."

Uh, what.

Blinking once, Baekhyun blinks again, slowly this time.

His heart stops for a few seconds when he processes the other's words. All at once, he's overwhelmed with a roaring fire in his ears and an endearing feeling in his chest as the worry etched on Chanyeol's face disappears, the creases of doubt unfolding when Baekhyun gives him a smile.

"...May-may I please kiss you?"

The polite wording makes his chest hurt with a bubbling feeling of affection. "Y-yes, please do," Baekhyun answers, shuffling his feet a bit when the taller's eyes shine with joy.

He stands on the tips of his toes as Chanyeol bends down. They meet in the middle and it's awkward and they nearly bump their noses with each other but it doesn't really matter because Park Chanyeol is kissing him, holy shit. Baekhyun finds words to be overrated because he can't think straight (ha ha ha. Straight? I don't know her) from the way his thoughts melt away and the world around them turns irrelevant.

'Fireworks' aren't what he feels, like what those dramas and manga Sehun obsesses over tell him. Instead, there's a warmth in his chest; a searing spark of fondness blooming and spreading through his body. His head is light, high in the clouds and on dopamine and all that other happy hormone shit Minseok overworks the coffee machine for. It's not explosive, but it's all as hell addictive.

Who pulls away first is irrelevant because what's more important is that Chanyeol seems to have gotten a thousand times cuter with his flushed cheeks and wide eyes. The elder might need a heart transplant at this rate. There's a sparkle in Chanyeol's eyes brighter than the sun yet it fills him with giddiness.

Communicate your joy, Baekhyun! Words! Profess your undying admiration!

"...That was, um, that was really nice."

Yes, this is the lyrical prowess that human disaster and aspiring artist Byun Baekhyun possesses.

Before he can panic over his loss of Korean skills, Chanyeol's chuckle brings up his grades, cures his acne, and gives him perfect 20/20 vision. There's a desire to hear that noise again as the taller lets out that melodic sound of laughter. He hopes to hear that sound more often.

"It was." Chanyeol bites his lip, cheeks puffing out and the shorter suppresses the urge to pinch them. Looking thoughtful, he cocks his head to the side, inquiring, "Do you—um—are you busy? Like, today, later?"

"I-I actually have vocal lessons"—actually I think I'm supposed to be there right now but that's not important—"but I can always skip." Ms. Lee isn't even present today, so he won't miss anything if he pretends to be sick for one session. Kyungsoo will cover for him (at least he hopes so or heavens forbid Baekhyun burn that egghead's precious cactus garden).

"Wait, this close to Christmas?" Incredulousness colors those words. "What kind of forced labor are you going through?"

"Well, it's not so bad," Baekhyun reassures, flattered by the concern, "I have to do this if I want to pass the entrance exam and get into SOPA." One of the most prestigious performing arts schools in Seoul will barely glance at his application if he's tone-deaf and barely able to belt a high note. Therefore, he willingly deals with drills that leave his throat dead, singing English songs and even belting in Thai and Mandarin.

Rest in pieces, his vocal chords.

Admiration shines in the taller's eyes. "You're so... hardworking."

"I mean, it's-it's not that impressive," he dismisses the praise and his eyes go downcast. There are still things he needs to work on; the airiness of his high notes, his shakiness going above or below his range, posture, and his good ol' friend, stage fright. There are plenty of singers out there better than him. A lot of singers.

Before he can descend into another trip to darkness, Chanyeol squeezes his hands. "I think you're an amazing singer. You're working so hard."

The elder freezes, untrusting of himself to look up. "Thank you."

Chanyeol suddenly begins to fidget, feet digging holes onto the floor. "Do you—um—do you want to go ice skating? I know a place that isn't crowded." He then adds, "B-but you can say no if you want to. I'm not forcing you or anything."

"Sure, I'd love to go." It takes the willpower of not eating food before a movie starts to not stammer in his reply. Baekhyun brings his head up to nod and the happy smile that reaches ear-to-ear on Chanyeol's face makes him smile as wide too.

Then, it finally hits him that this is an invitation to a date.

Is this a date? Wait, wait, wait, what. Oh my God, I look haggard and indecent. Then again, when do I even look decent? I'm poor and don't remember the contents of my wallet, if I have any. How to be romantic? What is romance? What if I become a human disaster in public? This is bad.

He's dazed and running on autopilot as Chanyeol lets his hands go and escorts him out of his apartment. The high rush from the confession is disappearing and it's replaced by a mob of butterflies. Where would be a great place to bury himself? His corpse would act as a great fertilizer.

"...Baekhyunnie?"

"—Yes?" Baekhyun blinks rapidly, discovering that he's been blasting a hole into the elevator floor number indicator.

"Does this mean we're boyfriends now?"

"Boyfriends?" he repeats as they exit the elevator, having accepted his fate. "Well, yes, we're boyfriends now, Chanyeollie."

I... like the sound of that, actually.

Boyfriends.

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they finally kissed yES DON'T KILL ME, MY LOVELY READERS HERE YOU GO. EDITING ? I DONT KNOW HER FLDJSKDJS

hello loves ♡♡♡♡ how are you ? i'm working hard to write more and faster so please anticipate future chapters and my future works ^^ exams are coming up which is why i'm extra slow. :(((

oh and please go read my dear friend, PrinceofDokis 's, nct johnil ff ( goldfish and swim meets ) !! it's Wild and it's only been around 4 chapters lmao. witness moon taeil being a Mess and a Human Disaster.

i believe those legs on sehunnie's post are yixing's tbh. what d'ya think ?

lAstly, a moment of silence for the perfection that is minseokkie's Beyond, xingxing's Sheep collab w alan walker, and baekhyunnie's Young station x 0 w loco. stream them + ChanHun's upcoming We Young, thank you.

☆ vote, comment, and add to your reading lists if you've enjoyed. thank you so much for reading and keep smiling. ☆