Chapter 47 - Heartsickness
They were in a car. Netta didn't know how or why Erwinnia had gotten ahold of the thing, but they were driving.
"Where are we going?" Netta finally asked, breaking the twenty-minute silence that had grown between them.
Erwinnia looked over at her, her hands clasped tightly on the steering wheel.
"A-are you serious? Well, Sister, I'm trying to save your life - a feat that I don't know how I will manage or even why I am attempting it - by driving to your new Coven. If I'm lucky, they'll let me go without demanding my head on a silver platter." She made a whining sigh that trailed up in levels. "Oh, also, I hope like hell that... whatever that Monster that you call a Familiar is, but I hope that whatever he pulled back there means that he doesn't want the skin off of our bones. Desperately."
"Ash - he isn't a Monster." Netta was not aware that she had stopped thinking of him as a Monster until she could hear herself say it.
"He... he was... he was frightened, he was..."
Netta realized in her daze that she was speaking of emotions that she felt, somehow, first hand, emotions that had to be unweaved like the colors out of a rainbow or the individual threads of a tapestry. They were inhuman in their complexity and yet simple and primal in their instinctualness.
"He was angry when they drew blood on me." She cringed, feeling as though she was doing an injustice to the breadth of alien emotions.
"Oh fuck." Erwinnia's words hung in the air strangely, horribly.
Finally, Erwinnia said, "Is this some King Kong bullshit you're pulling right now? Please tell me if this is some King Kong bullshit that I just got pulled into." When Netta didn't answer, she continued. "Okay. Please tell me that you're already aware of the fact that that thing back there was not a manifestation that a - a fucking desire demon is capable of? Because - and I'll tell you right the fuck now, big Sister, that I've been studying beasts that Monsters can manifest into for forty some odd years now, based off of the research of Witches from the birth of the Silver Kite as the Witch Queen, and I can tell you in my damn opinion, however humble it may be, that there is nothing like what I just saw in the recorded historias of any Witch anywhere. No - scratch that, the only thing that I can think that even rivals it in the last millenia is the - freakish thing in Tunguska. Are you hearing me on this, Neith?"
Netta blinked, trying to clear what was best described as an emotional and mental hang over blustering through her mind like a storm. She groaned, hands resting so that that bottoms of her palms were pressed against the temples of her forehead.
She felt so alone.
"You don't want to provide conversation, fine. Just stop doing that, please. It's... it's freaking me out."
Even through the fog of her mind, she could hear the return of the usual meekness in Erwinnia's voice, the obvious discomfort with talking to others.
"I'm sorry about just now. It's just that - well, I'm scared right now, Netta. He left all of a sudden, and you've been acting weird..." She swallowed, her eyes stuck to the windshield as she drove in the bare remainings of sunlight for the day. "I need us to get to your Coven, quickly, and - and - and I hope like hell that your friend doesn't return. I don't think I'll survive him returning, maybe - maybe he thinks I'm kidnapping you, I don't know -"
Netta cringed, leaned back and took in a few deep breaths to try to clear her mind.
"He wouldn't do that." She believed it with every ounce of her being. She knew, somehow, that no matter what the thing was that she had seen back in the church, he was still, in some way, very humanlike in his ability to feel very real emotions. She had experienced them, as though he had poured into her like she had been an empty vessel.
"Ohh. Such relief I feel right now, hearing you say that."
Netta said nothing, rolled her head back against the headrest, willing sleep to render her oblivious to the feeling of loneliness. She only realized, for the first time as she closed her eyes and felt a tear slip out, was a symptom of feeling a preseance that had been tethered in some fashion to her for so very long.
She was awoken by the feeling of being shaken. Netta turned to her left and looked at her Sister, saw the worried look written into the deep lines ingrained on her forehead.
Nevertheless, and in spite of the fear that was obvious on her skittish adopted Sister's face, Erwinnia was trying to smile.
"We're here."
Netta turned and saw that they, indeed, were parked now in front of the home of the Gardenia Coven. Netta closed her eyes, wondering if she should be feeling relief, sorrow or fear right then. Instead, she winced, feeling what she knew to be sleep inertia hitting her like a blow to the head.
The engine was off, and in the darkness, swirled lightly with the snow, Netta could hear the authoritative woman's voice before she could see anything.
"GET OUT OF THE CAR, NOW," a voice that Netta was sure that she recognized from somewhere demanded.
And then Netta saw them, vague figures that reminded her of her Sisters in their hoods, before they stepped closer. In the light of a flickering driveway light, Netta saw them for who they were.
The breath hissed out of her lungs as relief coursed through Netta.
She could Erwinnia's voice in the car, shaking. "They - they know it's you, right? You are a member of their Coven, yes, so they won't kill me - you - on sight, right?"
Netta looked up, fear dancing now with her earlier, once assured feeling of relief. She opened her mouth and felt terror rob her voice.
There was a moment, as she watched the forms fill out around the front of the car, pooling around until the forms branched out past the two front doors.
She heard another voice yell out then. "The driver has Neith with her!"
The passenger's side door opened on Netta and a wind tore its way into the car, followed quickly by a woman's hands grasping her and pulling her out of the car.
Netta felt frozen as she was pulled out. Looking to her left, she saw as two Witches took hold of Erwinnia, who let out a frightened scream.
"Wait!" Netta yelled out, feeling a sudden surge of emotion break through her. "She's with me!"
The inside of the home was an experience like a fever dream to Netta, as she was sat down on a kitchen chair and surrounded by the members of the Coven Gardenia.
They were asking a lot of questions, and lucky for Neith, Erwinnia was doing more talking for them than she would need to.
In a daze, Netta followed Erwinnia's hurried, panicked explanation.
"- and then I ended up having to run away when Netta's Familiar made a - a distraction, which I was not planning to do, but hey, here I am, now, and did I mention that I kind of need to find another Coven to join with, before my Sisters hunt me down like a rabid dog?"
"Erwinnia, was it?"
It was Lucia's voice, calmed down from her earlier demanding to sound soft, motherly, even. "You have done this Coven a great service by returning one of our own to us. If you need a new home, then we would be proud to welcome someone who was willing to turn their back on her family in order to do the right thing."
Ember mused aloud, saying, "If I had known that all I had to do to get into this Coven was help another Witch escape death at the hands of her own family, then - well, I suppose I wouldn't do it. That sounds... messy."
Morgan chirped up. "And to think, we went over seventy years without much in the way of bloodsport before this one and her Sister showed up. Next thing you know... well-"
Netta looked at the women surrounding her, and found that there was something that she kept returning to but failing to grasp fully.
As she looked at Lucia, it occured to her with the suddenness of something falling on her. She stood up from her chair and nearly upended the cup of tea that had been put in front of her.
"Ophelia -"
Memories of being taken away at the graveyard filled Netta's mind - and the realization that she had been locked away for over a week, with the young Witch left, ostensibly, to fend for herself.
The heat drained from out of Netta's face and she felt so weak that she was araid that she might faint.
A male voice, instantly memorable in its crackling, chipper quality, called out from across the room.
"Gee, glad to see that you've remembered me enough to care about my whereabouts."
Turning, Netta knew before she saw him that, in spite of how illogical that it could be that it would be him, she saw the Monster that she had met in Calliope's back room, Jaste.
He leaned against the corner in the kitchen and gave her a winning smile.
Wu was quick to fill Netta in with the question that she had burning in her mind.
"The girl returned late yesterday, and we had plans to come to your rescue tonight."
Morgan added, "Lucky for you, you arrived before we attempted to pull a calvary on you."
Lucia gave Netta a gentle smile that reached the cool depths of her eyes, turning their grey into silver.
"Ophelia was sent off to bed early, to sleep off the journey that the young one went through - protected by our mutual friend here. I am told that he protected her as she made her journey here."
Jaste waved. "You don't have to talk about me like that, ladies - I'm right here."
"What an odd personality you befriend, Neith," Lucia said, turning to regard the Monster with a slight frown.
"That's putting it lightly," Morgan added, busy with what looked like a feather duster that she used to swab on the high shelves of the room.
"Are you alright?" Wu asked, giving a glance over to Erwinnia that surprised Netta in its intensity. She bent down to touch Netta's arm.
Erwinnia answered for Netta, reaching forward to take a gentle grip on her Sister's arm.
"She's fine, she's just, ah, tired. We had to share shifts driving here is all." She took her hand back and placed it with her knuckles against her forehead and seemed to stagger, resulting in a few of the other Witches hurrying to hold onto her to keep her from falling over.
Erwinnia gave the room full of women a weak smile. "Speaking of which, I think that the both of us would appreciate a bed for the night."
They were taken to a room sometime later, and laid on opposite sides of a rather large bed.
Once the lights were off, both women laid in silence, still wearing the clothes that they had worn for well over a day.
"I'm so tired, but I can't sleep," Erwinnia confessed, sighing. "so damned tired."
"Thank you," Netta blurted out.
Erwinnia paused. "What for? You'll have to be specific on which part of me turning hero you're referring to."
"Point taken." Even to her own ears, Netta's voice sounded husky, raw from what sounded like sickness. Was she ill? She felt it, but she could not think of anything other than the overhwelming pain she felt as Ash's disappearance.
She took in a deep and shuddering breath.
"I slept for so long - I suppose that I should fall asleep, pass through this sleep inertia and... whatever the hell else is wrong with me."
Erwinnia said, "You're going through withdrawal, aren't you?"
Netta took in a deep breath and did not dare to let it out for a long time. Finally, she said, "I didn't want that to be what this is."
"Why?" Erwinnia's voice sounded harsh. "Following what I witnessed, if you severed ties with It - you're lucky."
"I didn't sever ties with him."
"What?"
"I said, I didn't sever ties with him."
In the darkness of the room, Netta swore that she could hear the gears spinning wildly in her Sister's head. "But, for a Monster to be able to sever ties on his own... Goddess, what is It?"
Netta tried to imagine for herself what Ash was.
In that moment, she finally let go of any remaining vestiges of her thinking that Ashwood had been a mere desire demon.
She tried to swallow it easily and found that it wanted to lodge in her throat.
"I don't know." She lied, trying to not remember that she did have a clue to what he was through his status as a Cursed One. She took in a deep breath. "I miss him."
Netta heard the sound of Erwinnia rapidly twisting under the blanket, felt the bed groan as she turned to regard her.
"No. What you're thinking is dangerous. No Monster should be able to do what whatever creature you know as Ashwood transformed into. Not only that, but he broke all of the wards that had been set up in the church - and he still rampaged through it before he broke what seals I placed on the door. Netta, the only thing something this dangerous and evil can do, is capable of, is obsessive and dark."
Netta was surprised when she reached up to her face and felt tears mutely falling out of her eyes.
"He's not - he isn't dangerous to me." Netta heard herself say it aloud, then realized how foolish she sounded, even to herself.
How could she argue such a ridiculous point?
Netta heard the sound of her adopted Sister scoffing in the near dark.
"Netta. I know what I'm speaking of. I was nearly... consumed by my own Familiar. It tried to consume me, after I spent a year under Its thrall - and it was only because the Monster invited suspicion that It was found out. Take it from me, Monsters are not to be trusted."
Netta turned on her side and looked at her Sister in the dark as shock spread through her at her Sister's words.
"You - you were possessed?"
In the near-dark, Erwinnia's face looked blank of emotion, dark with the shadows of the dark room and her hair, fallen over much of her face. She sighed.
"I let him into my heart. They take advantage, a Witch is not usually afforded a second chance to spend. All that they want to do is control and - and kill anything extraneous to their true goal." She sped up as she talked, passion afire in her voice.
"What's the true goal of a Monster?" Netta felt a chill go down her back.
Erwinnia laughed humorlessly.
"What they all want is to gain superiority over Witches and humans. A Monster who possesses a human always begins going after fellow Witches. It was said that a Monster who had been given control over a Witch's soul will unerringly use his power to possess and then go about killing. It is the curse of the Traitor King, Netta, and it never fails to happen - even to us that believe that what we have - share - with one is special, like the love that humans are capable of." She took in a deep, shuddering breath. "They're incapable of that, I can assure you from experience."
Netta turned away, clutched her blankets closer to her chest.
She found it impossible to feel too warm under the blankets. For some reason, she felt homesick in a way that was not for a physical place, but rather a feeling.
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