The next morning I woke up in my bed, limbs tangled with Caspian's. The covers were on the floor, along with his boxers.
I reached my hand down to pat my thighs, making sure I still had mine on. Last night was the emotional equivalent of downing a bottle of vodka, and I think I woke up hungover.

I quietly tried to sneak out of bed, but a hand gripped my wrist to pull me back.
"Stay here, punk," Caspian sleepily talked into my pillow. I reluctantly curled up into the spot I previously was in seconds ago, closing my eyes again as I drifted into another round of sleep.
This time, Caspian woke me up. He was smacking his lighter against my wall repeatedly.
"Hey, stop that, what the fuck," I rubbed my eyes and sat up, too tired to take further action. The walls in this house were already beat up and mangled, not like his fit of rage would do any harm. "These pieces of shit never work for more than two weeks," He said while throwing the lighter into the hallway.
"Watch it, Caspian," Levi exclaimed from the hallway where his lighter landed.
"What are you gonna do bout it?" Caspian questioned Levi back, leaning against the wall with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. I leaned back against my pillow, covering my face with my hands.
"Kick you out," Levi said while passing my room with laundry.
Since I slept for four days and started acting weird, Levi has really stepped up and provided for all of us, even with Gina in the hospital. I guess I haven't been doing a very good job of providing to the family recently, either. But, for some reason, I still appreciated him.
"How's Gina?" I asked while getting out of bed, slipping on Caspian's flannel.
Levi stopped in the door and shrugged, picking at his nails. "I just hope the baby is okay."
"That's all?" I said, throwing my legs off the side of the bed. Levi didn't seem too worried at all. "Yeah, that's all I guess. She's fine, I just want our baby to be fine too."
Levi scanned my room before nodding and heading back down the hallway to the overflowing laundry basket.
Caspian shrugged and sat down next to me on the bed now, nudging his elbow directly into my ribcage. "That was fun yesterday, huh?" He said, looking at me.
"Yeah, too much walking though. My legs are stiff today."
I rubbed my thighs with my hands, looking back at him.
"Man up," He said while smacking my upper arm, "I gotta go buy another lighter. I'll be back soon."
He grabbed his pack of cigarettes which were on my bedside table, walking out of the room and down the stairs. I sat alone on my bed now, looking around at the messy floor and dresser. I slipped on some new jeans and a clean shirt underneath the flannel, heading out into the hallway where I saw Levi sorting the laundry again. I was feeling kind of hungry and my chest felt heavy like a weight was dropped on it.
"Need help?" I offered, but Levi just shook his head and turned around to face me.
"Want to come visit Gina with me later?" He asked with a hint of loneliness in his voice, his eyes trailing back and forth from the laundry to me.
"Yeah, I'll go with you," I nodded. I was hoping he'd ask me because I didn't dress nice for nothing. Levi smiled and kicked the empty laundry basket into his room, heading past me down the hall. "I'm done being a housewife," He exhaustedly mumbled, heading downstairs to the kitchen. I stuck my hands in the front of my pockets, following after him.
"Hey, sorry I haven't been myself lately."
I carefully made my way down the steps, since they're so narrow. I broke my arm twice falling in the same year.
Levi shrugged and popped some bread into the toaster, pouring a cup of coffee. "It's no problem, I know you're not even directly related but you've done so much shit for us," he laughed as he rubbed his chin with his forefinger and thumb, "I don't think we would have made it without you."

I smiled at his feedback, finally feeling accomplished about something in my life.
I watched him place another slice of bread into the toaster, my body leaning against the stair railing as my eyes wandered.
"Do you ever feel really tired and anxious, and your eyes just start going crazy and you can't focus on one thing?" I rubbed my temples to help soothe the heavy feeling that now spread to my head and eyes, looking back up at Levi.
He looked at me with the same expression as when I slept for four days, "No, uh, not usually."
He shook his head to affirm his answer.
"Okay," I shrugged, "Just wondering. Hey, any orange juice left?"
I let my shoulder gently brush his as I opened the fridge to see what we had left.
"That happens to you?" He turned around to look at me while I drank orange juice from the carton. I nodded and quickly swallowed the juice, "Sometimes."

"I guess we will have to keep an eye on that," Levi said as he focused on spreading peanut butter on his toast. I rolled my eyes and stood behind the counter now, facing him. Noticing the open jar of peanut butter, I ran my finger against the spread, bringing my finger up to my mouth to lick it off.
"Nasty," Levi jokingly backed away and took his toast to the table. "Get ready, okay? We're gonna leave at five." He started to take huge bites out of his toast and peanut butter, obviously trying to hurry to get to Gina. I looked at him confused, peering out the window where the sun was almost getting ready to descend. "Holy shit, I thought it was the morning," I ruffled my hair and quickly ran back upstairs so I could brush my teeth. I heard Levi chuckling in the background.

Once at the hospital, I started to feel super anxious but masked my feelings with stupid jokes in the car. Levi lead me through the parking garage to the correct section of the hospital - maternity. As soon as we walked through the doors into the bright, clean, white hallways I felt my pulse begin to quicken in my chest like a predator running after its prey.
"Are we almost there?" I whispered to Levi as a bleeding old man was quickly wheeled by on a hospital bed, his exposed skin pale white. I started to feel dizzy, but not your normal kind of dizzy. The kind where it feels like earth is shifting on its axis.
"Yeah, why?" Levi kept walking through the identical halls, as if he was searching for the buried treasure and he knew exactly where it was. My palms were sweating but I just wiped them against my jeans.
"I'm just wondering," My eyes darted across the hallway at paintings of flowers on the walls to help distract me.
We finally reached a huge set of automatic doors. Levi gave his information for us to be allowed inside. This part of the hospital was much calmer than the parts we walked past. Storks and soft baby colored teddy bears lined the walls as decoration, and the staff seemed much more accommodating and friendly. That didn't help me though.
Levi seemed to be mentally counting the rooms as we went by, until he stopped and started backtracking towards me.
"This room," he pointed inside a dark single room with the shades shut.
As we got farther inside, I noticed that Gina was fast asleep. Levi had the biggest smile as he sat down next to her bedside, pushing some hair from her face.
"I can't wait to hear from the doctor," he whispered with care to not wake her up, his eyes visibly shifting to her growing bump which was exposed from the blankets.
"So you don't know what's wrong with her?" I gulped awkwardly at the end of my sentence, trying to keep my eyes on the edge of her bed. My palms were still sweating so I stuck them in my pockets.
"Uh, yeah, I don't. I'm gonna go try to find the doctor or a nurse, alright?" Levi nodded his head and quieltly left the room, leaving me alone with Gina. I started to feel my breathing get heavier, so I sat down on a chair at the foot of her bed. It didn't help, and I couldn't look around the room without feeling like the whole damn earth was spinning. I clutched my hair with my fingers nervously, trying to focus on my breathing, but doing that while closing my eyes did nothing.
The steady beep of monitors didn't help. I felt like I was losing control of my body.
"Fuck," I shakily breathed the words out of my mouth. I looked out the room and into the hallway, trying to find Levi. Frantically, I looked left and right like I was getting ready to pass through an intersection. A nurse walking by stopped to look at me, "Do you need help?" She asked me in a calm voice, my eyes being drawn to her glossy pink lips formed into a smile. I liked the way they sparkled under the hallway lights.
"Sir?" She asked again. This time, I noticed how sweaty my palms were and I wiped them again on my pants, feeling a warm sensation spread down my legs. I looked down and felt my jeans, backing away from the nurse unsteadily. They weren't wet but they sure felt it. "Sir, do you need help?"
I looked at her lips again, but this time I saw her front teeth. Perfectly white and square, lips formed into a droopy O. I was backing up so much I hit the wall, my sweaty palms tangling into my hair again. "Shit," I mumbled again and gazed up at the nurse with a glossy stare.
"Sorry," I mumbled again, my vision fading slowly as I felt myself getting sleepier, but soon I started to feel normal again, "Hospitals sorta freak me out."
The nurse nodded and searched my eyes, talking in a slow and calming voice.
"If you need anything, please let me know."
I smiled and nodded, noticing she was holding a salad and piece of covered chocolate cake. She was probably going on break for dinner.
"Yo, are you okay?" Levi came rushing up the hallway with the doctor a few steps behind him, "I watched that whole thing."
I sighed when Levi spoke, nodding once again.
"Yeah, I'm fine now. Don't worry," I nodded towards the entrance of Gina's room, allowing Levi and the doctor to go in first. "I'm gonna go outside for a smoke, I'll meet you below the parking garage, okay?"
Levi nodded from inside the room while the doctor woke Gina up. "Tell her I was here to see her," I said quickly as I gulped once again, heading down the hallway to the exit as fast as I could.

Once I made my way outside, the fresh air calmed me down, and my cigarette even more.
I sat on the curb, alone, with a pack of cigarettes next to me for company.
"Hey, can you spare one?" A man's voice spoke from the distance and I turned around to see a handsome guy who looked no older than 25. He smiled at me and I slowly began pulling a cigarette out of the pack.
I didn't want him to stay but he sat down next to me anyway.
He kind of reminded me of Caspian.

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