We've been home for a week now. Caspian's father is in jail again, but the public isn't. I can't seem to go anywhere in public without someone either calling me homophobic names or telling me they can heal me from being gay.

Usually those people are old men with long, greasy hair. They've learned to stay away from Caspian, because he'll punch them all square in the teeth... at least that's what I think.

The only safe haven is my house.

"We need to pay the bills, and I'm not dragging my ass out there. I'm sick of it," I pointed out the window.

Levi scratched his head, grabbing the bills in one hand, "I think we have to use our emergency funding."

I looked up at him, disappointed that we have to pull money from what we have been saving for years in case of something like this happening.

"Just make sure there's enough for my hospital bill," I said firmly, watching him count out the cash for our due bills. The reality made my stomach churn.

I paced the kitchen a few times, noticing Gina who was starting to show through her tight fitting clothing.

That's soon going to be one more mouth to feed. I started to get upset, which made me start to think. I slowly walked into the living room where Caspian was laying, his hand bouncing each time he changed channels with the remote.

"Can we talk?" I sat down in a chair next to the couch. He muted the television.

"I dunno, can we?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to look at serious as possible, "Don't be a smart ass. I was just thinking, why did you take me to that bar to see your dad if you knew what he was gonna do to us?"

Casp sat up on the couch and started laughing, almost like when I thought it was a weekday instead of Sunday, "I didn't think he was gonna do that, he's unpredictable and psycho, Hale."

"Exactly," I responded, "why would you bring me around your psycho father in a bar where he's already had drinks before we even got there?"

Caspian looked back at me, just as serious, "I wouldn't have taken you with me if I knew the things that were gonna happen. I took you with me to prove a point to my father. I'm not a fuckin psychic."

My eyes lowered to the floor, remembering the taste of warm blood dripping into my mouth from my nose, the excruciating amount of pain I was in and the way my senses slowly faded around me.

"You don't even care, do you?" I got up from my seat, my head cluttered with thoughts as I walked upstairs and into my room, closing the door for a while. I had to get away.

"I think you upset him," Gina spoke from the kitchen, sipping some sort of tea the doctor gave her that is supposed to help your growing fetus by supplying vitamins. I could tell from her voice she had a sly smile.

Caspian began running up the steps towards my room.

"I care about you, Hale."

He knocked on my door, trying to pick the lock, but these old doors have studier locks than most doors now. His voice was loud.

"Keep saying that. You wouldn't have even thought about taking me there... you knew exactly how your father would react. A blind dog could have predicted that. I just need space."

I let my head fall into my hands, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I didn't mean to, I told you this already."

"Just go away, Caspian, I don't want to be near you."

I rubbed my eyeballs, hoping I'd be able to see this situation in a different light once I was done, "I hope those nosy ass people smother you until you cant breathe."

I heard Caspian smirk and groan through the door before he actually spoke, "maybe they'll even want to fuck me, who knows."

I was starting to get even more angry, the frustration showing in my face and in my body language, even though nobody else could see me.

"Then maybe we should just break up," I tested him with the question. My eyes were getting warm with tears, my voice cracking with each word. My body was slumped over my knees.

"Alright, then maybe we should," he said loudly.

I could tell his body was pressed against the door.

"Sorry I can't fucking predict my father's actions."

"Okay, enough, just get out of my house," my voice cracked even more as I spoke, tears streaming down my face as soon as I heard Casp turn and head down the stairs.

He didn't choose me, and I should have known that from the start. He's nothing but a punk, I thought. I can't believe I have feelings for him.

The door knocked immediately after Caspian left, rattling the whole wall from the intensity.

"Open the door," I heard a soft voice say from outside. The voice contradicted the knocks.

I slowly got up and unlocked the door, clutching the brass handle to pull the door open towards me.

It was Melanie.

"Hey, I overheard everything and thought I'd make sure you're okay and stuff," she smiled calmly and her brown eyes almost sparkled, giving me a small sense of comfort.

"Come in," I quietly said.

She hesitantly walked inside of my room and sat down on my bed, smiling while she looked at me.

"Listen, I know you're upset, but I think I can cheer you up," she devilishly smiled.

I cocked my head and crossed my arms at her rebellious tone.

"This sounds illegal," I said slowly, but my interest was still heightened.

"I can take you somewhere, we can both drink and get lucky, I heard about it from my friend Lola at school."

I just looked at her, stunned at the words she spoke. But, given our living condition, I wasn't surprised.

"You're 16, I'm not taking you somewhere like that and you're not going there alone, or at all, or with someone named Lola who has a name that sounds like a drag queen's."

"Fine, that was just an idea," she sighed, "but I know how you feel, I think everyone in this stupid small ghetto city can see how much you two meant... sorry, mean.... to eachother now. Caspian's dad has a pretty large following, but they'll die down in a few days and everything will be normal."

I didn't know what to say so I just smiled at the insight she gave me, looking out the window at the sun peeking through the blinds. I couldn't fully comprehend anything, and Melanie's voice sounded like white noise.

Then it hit me. It hit me square in the jaw like a fist that I knew all too well.

"Oh fuck," I mumbled, "what did I just do?"

***
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