'Beyond a doubt.'

Ranveer

2015

I grew up with Vaanya Mittal, playing in the community park together, chasing her on the shorelines of Juhu in summer evenings when we were toddlers, building sandcastles with her but as we grew up together I began to tear my gaze away from her. She was too bright for me, too good for me—she didn't belong with me.

We were best friends, attending classes together, running in the same circles but I pulled away, or at least I tried but that didn't faze her. The more I pushed away from her, the harder she pushed back. She was a fucking angel and I couldn't help myself. I remained with her, close as ever, despite my knowledge that once I had her, I wouldn't be able to stop.

I turned into a narrow street as the rain continued to pour. The night lit up with headlights from my vehicle as I headed to my boathouse from a community event. I insisted to get my own space because I couldn't stand to have Vaanya live next door to mine. I couldn't stand the community politics either. Everyone was fake so why care? My ignorance turned into resentment in no time until I stopped caring about what people thought of me. The only opinion that mattered to me belonged to my family.

I glanced at the rear mirror as I pushed a button and a slow melody poured through the stereo. I was too jacked up and I wanted to unwind in my place. I kept my smile to myself as I glanced at the home screen of my phone light up with Vaanya's picture.

As I reached for my phone on the dash, I caught a glance of something—someone shift in front of my vehicle in the periphery of my vision and I kicked the brakes. The tires screeched violently to a jolting halt in the middle of the street. The windshield wipers continued to move on the windscreen as I narrowed my gaze to spot a kid across the hood of my car.

Groaning lowly, I pushed my head out to catch sight of him. "Are you lost?" The little boy hyperventilated as he bolted towards me and I unlocked the door of my vehicle to step outside. "I could have run my car over you. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" I glanced at the street to spot a scarce of vehicles pass us but there wasn't a soul in sight on the sidewalk.

"Please help me," he mumbled as he caught on to my shirt. He was shivering. One look at him and I knew he was a homeless kid. "Please help me, they will kill me."

I stilled to his pleading tone as he clutched me desperately. "Get in the car," I demanded as I peered at the almost vacant streets to catch the unknown. "Do you want me to drive you to your family?"

He shook his head and rubbed his tiny hands together. "They will kill my family."

I turned on the vents and the blast of hot air made him shiver again. I watched him carefully, noting his bearings. He must have been a seven-year-old by the looks of it, torn clothes, bare feet, and drenched. Goddamn it. Who would kill a homeless kid? He wiped his tears silently and looked out of the window as I began to drive.

The drive was silent for a while until I decided to speak to him. "Are you hungry?"

He turned his blank gaze on me. "What if they kill me?"

"They won't," I told him regardless of my lack of knowledge regarding the situation. I had no idea who was after him but I knew he was safe with me. "They can't reach us. So tell me, what would you like to eat?"

He stared at me and then at the road ahead of us. "Anything," he mumbled and hugged his knees. "I'm hungry."

My smile broke free as I made a one-eighty and switched gears to make a pit stop. It was past midnight and there weren't many restaurants open for service except the ones who ran behind a front of night business license. I was reluctant to shove a kid in a bar but those were the only spots available.

I circled my vehicle when we arrived at the spot and saw my phone's screen light up with Vaanya's name. I contemplated answering her call right away. I stared at the screen incredulously and watched the line end.

Sighing, I shoved my phone in the back pocket of my pants and shut off the engine. "Let's go," I told the kid and he stepped out hesitantly. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," I assured him to back him up. My confidence managed to assure him. I was conflicted to call my father about it. I was aware he was out for his night-round trips in the city. "Have you tried to approach the police?"

The kid jumped to his feet to face me. "Please don't." Goddamn it. I had expected something like that. He was in deep shit. A kid. In deep shit. That fact didn't fit well with me.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" I asked him as I caught him by his hand and walked inside the night bar. "I can help you." He remained silent.

Heading towards a vacant table, I ordered food and turned towards the kid across me. "There are these..." He looked around and leaned closer to the table. "Thugs who ask me to give little packets to people."

My brows arched up in silent realization. "You smuggle drugs." I leaned back to my seat and deliberated silently. The chances of drawing him out of the mess without my father's help were quite slim. "And now they are after you because?"

"I lost the packets..." Shit.

I ran my fingers through my hair exasperatedly. "Where did you lose them?"

"I gave them away to other people." Holy fucking shit.

I stared at him. "Why did you do that?"

His gaze flittered as he looked at my face. "They gave me more money." Hearing him out was like stepping into a different world. It was chaos and apocalyptic. He told me that his father had the money now and there was no point in retrieving it because he won't get the money back. The word had been circled to the dealers and they were after his blood now.

I saw the kid in front of me, desperate enough to make his ends meet that got him into a predicament; his life was on the line.

I chaffed my fingers over my face. "Why don't you want to involve the police?"

"They asked me not to or they will kill my family." My eyebrows nose-dived after that revelation. The food arrived and he wasted no time in digging in. I watched him eat, savoring each bite with so much happiness and gratitude. It made me wonder why people like us had enough means to meet our ends and why didn't they?

Who drew the line to segregate the class of people?

I shifted in my seat as my phone vibrated in my back pocket again, drawing me out of my reverie. I was going to get my ass kicked to the curb. Without noting the caller I.D, I answered the line nonchalantly.

"I have been worried sick about you." Vaanya's voice bloomed through the line and I winced to myself silently. "Why weren't you answering my calls Ranveer?"

"I have been caught up with something," I told her and stared at the kid in front of me. I didn't want to lie to her damn it. "Let me get back home and call you, yeah?"

"Where are you?" she asked instead and my head fell back with a loaded sigh. "Are you alright?"

"I am perfectly fine." I closed my eyes and breathed steadily. "A friend needed my help so I had to be here. Let's do this later." I missed what she said in return as I pulled my phone away from my ear and disconnected the line. I had done it. I had lied to her.

*

2018

The day had finally arrived when I returned from the juvenile center after serving my sentence. My lawyer had told me that I was fortunate, the contraband had been enough to persuade the court for a lesser sentence but unfortunately, I begged to differ. Three years of my life at the juvenile center was not less. It had taught me many things but more than anything, I had learned that money could buy freedom.

My father had been at it since the word broke out. Newspapers and tabloids spreading words like wildfire that made it impossible for my family to live in the city but my mother had refused to believe that her son was capable of something so despicable. My father had to slam a counter lawsuit that breached our privacy. Cases involving juvenile delinquents were to be handled discreetly which wasn't my case. The media frenzy couldn't have been ignored.

How was I going to face her?

How was I going to tell her that her son was indeed capable of the worst?

I gazed at the thrumming city pass by me through the window of my father's chauffeured car. I was headed towards my family home and I had a feeling that my nightmare was about to begin.

I ignored the song that was swelling from the stereo in the car in the background as I wondered how nothing much had changed in the city since I had gone. My favorite bars and cafés were still the same but looking at them only brought memories that seemed distant now. It didn't nip at me—anything before 2015 didn't seem to matter anymore.

When I reached my family home, I glanced at the home next door. The oak wood doors were locked past the imposing gates and a wave of heat flashed across my body, sweat breaking out all over my body as my skin crawled.

Vaanya...

I wondered how she had been after all these years. Did she miss me as much as I missed her or had she moved on with someone who was far worthy of her?

My heart raced in my chest and I bowed my head down to breathe hard. It didn't matter because I had to keep my distance from her. I had learned my lesson and I didn't wish to indulge more people into my fucking mess.

I stepped out of the car and saw my mom step out of the house to welcome me with her warm smile. She had visited me at the juvenile home from time and again only to have me turn her away. I was going to meet my mother after a good two years and I didn't know how to face the woman I had hurt the most.

She wrapped her strong arms around me when I neared her and cried.

*

The hot spray of shower cascaded over my shoulders and back, and I closed my eyes, trying to drown my thoughts. My life sucked. I hated it. It went without saying that my father had lost his faith in his son and for all the right reasons. He knew my sense of judgment had faltered and that cost him everything he had. I knew I was the nuisance he didn't wish to associate himself with but had no other choice.

It had been hard for me. I had a lot to take care of, reacclimate with life, and move on—or that's what people around me hoped out of me but I didn't want to get better. I didn't want to be anyone else but the man I had turned up to be, beyond a doubt—a bloody criminal.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked out of the shower while drying my chest and shoulders with another towel, sauntering to the living room of my boathouse. I looked out of the window and gazed at the evening city.

I had been screwed up when I only tried to be human—that had to change now.

*

Vaanya

2020

It was a somber night when I had decided to watch a movie all by myself; film noir, my favorite genre. I had just played the movie Fallen Angel on my laptop when I heard muted commotions in the living room. Upon deciding to ignore it, I played the movie as I munched on some popcorn and candies.

After forty-five minutes or so into the movie, I put the video on pause to fetch some soda from the fridge in the kitchen. The commotion had died down and I tiptoed into the well-lit living room while browsing tables to book online at a bar for the girls. It had completely slipped my mind that we were supposed to meet up for a social hangout over the weekend.

A sharp moan cut through the air in the living room and I halted in my tracks, rooted to my stance as I darted my gaze around the room. Not knowing where the noise stemmed from, I walked silently towards the couch until slaps of skin and low gasps intensified.

"You like that don't you?" Rakesh murmured lowly and my stomach flipped. Oh hell! They were fucking on my couch. I thought nothing had enough potential to gross me out as much as the very sight of his bald head sticking out of the edge of the sofa as he did the work. Shit!

I backed away instinctively, silently, and made a beeline towards the kitchen. I was convinced I had forgotten how to breathe in the process of concealing my presence. I was starting to consider my options for moving out as Ranveer had.

I switched plans and grabbed a bottle of beer instead of soda from the fridge silently and walked out of the kitchen when another moan, louder this time, sliced through me. I froze to my stance, not believing my ears. I neared the couch without a second thought and gasped. Holy shit.

It wasn't my mother who was being screwed by Rakesh—it was Jia.

*

I was supposed to be finishing my assignments for college before I got late to meet the deadlines of submission but instead, I was at my terrace, walking on the balustrade of the terrace on the fourth floor that overlooked the city.

The cool air caressed my skin as I took one step after another carelessly. My hair was tied in a bun but the loose tendrils whipped to my nape by the wind that sent chills down my spine. I looked underneath the building to note the height. I was at a height that was good enough to break a few bones in my body—or maybe kill me if I were lucky enough.

That knowledge stirred a deep excitement in the pit of my stomach and I giggled, not caring enough to hold my arms out to balance myself. I didn't care if I fell but the possibility made my heart race. My breaths quickened when I reached near the edge and took a sharp right. One slip and I could have fallen off to break my neck.

My bubbling laugh surrounded the air. It was the best feeling in the world; the fear of the unknown—the possibility of the worst—the thrill of the danger.

That was the only thing that kept me sane. It made me look forward to the next day.

~~~~

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