how is it love when almost every day we go to sleep crying. why do we call it love when at times we won't even say goodbye, just leave. it's like a merry-go-round, going back and forth from happy to sad. i want to leave, but my feet won't move. every time i say i'm done, he starts to care. he begs me to stay, and i always do... is it foolish of me to stay? i can never let him go. he's like a drug, and me, his willing addict. he's chained me like a slave, and yet i don't seem to care. he hurts me and breaks me and tears me apart, and yet i keep giving him torn pieces of my heart. every time he leaves, i go running after him. it's like heaven and hell, some days the best of my life, but others i just want to die. i hate myself for staying, and yet i cannot seem to leave. i need him, and i lust for him. i can't live without him. he is like the devil in an angel suit. and yet i'm still blind by his charms. it kills me to be without him, and yet it poisons me when i am in his presence. no one can love me like he does, or make me feel the way he does. maybe i stay with him...because without him i feel nothing. even though with him at times all i feel is pain. someday it'll probably kill me, and i know i can't say i never saw it coming.