♫ It'll never be enough
It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you it just fits perfectly ♪
(LIttle Mix ft. Jason DeRulo—Secret love song)

When Ryan's alarm sounded, Coralie woke, and wasn't in the nude, for once. It was six-thirty, and he'd promised to drop her off at the label on his way to work. An early start for her, but that meant she'd get off earlier for the bar job that night. And have more time between both locations, without needing to rush.

As he stirred, stroked her cheek, and kissed her forehead, he smiled. A filter of early morning light crept through his curtains and basked his skin in a caramel halo. "I'll make us coffee," he said, his voice soft, his touch gentle. His caress lulled her into sitting up a little and grinning as she watched him walk out, admiring the sway in his step.

Also, as promised, he hadn't seduced her into having sex that night. That was why she'd woken with her satin pajamas on—they hadn't tried to take each other's clothes off. They hadn't gotten busy in the bathtub, nor after, nor in the middle of the night. Instead, they'd lain in each other's arms and fallen asleep to a few episodes of Friends, like a married couple that no longer needed to indulge in hours of intimacy to show their love.

Coralie appreciated this improved Ryan; the Ryan she'd imagined months prior, when they'd first started talking again. The attentive husband, the caring father, the kind man she'd remembered from high school. When they'd been wrapped up in their affair, when he snuck around behind Gemma's back and spent exorbitant amounts of money on Coralie, wining and dining her, it had been fun, sure. But it wasn't genuine. Such secrecy and games had transformed Ryan into a monster, and his later jealousy towards Michael had worsened the behavior.

Whatever had shifted him, whatever had convinced him to return to normal, Coralie was grateful.

She checked her phone, and saw the flashing voicemail icon, bringing her back to the call she'd avoided from Michael the night before. He rarely left messages, only sent texts, so assuming this was important, she pressed the play button and brought the speaker to her ear.

"Hi, babe. Sorry to bother you... I assume you're sleeping off your sickness, or your stress, or whatever. I hope you're feeling better, or on the right path. I hate to know you're not doing well."

Smiling at his thoughtfulness, she envisioned him lying next to her, where Ryan had been moments before. And though she winced for half a second, remorseful at picturing someone else seconds after Ryan had left the room, she couldn't stop the picture in her mind. Michael waking beside her and making her coffee. Michael cuddling her until she fell asleep and forgot about all her stress.

She refocused on the rest of his message.

"But I have news. That's why I'm calling. I mean, of course, I wanted to check on you, but..." He cleared his throat; he was nervous, she could tell from how his voice trembled through the receiver. "I've been meeting with investors and advisors. Interviewing collaborators and speaking with other professional photographers in New York City. I shared my work with them, discussed creating a similar brand over there, a similar start-up... and Cora, baby, they're fascinated. Super interested! Isn't that crazy?"

His voice got louder in the last few sentences, and Coralie sat up as she yanked the cell an inch or two from her ear. "Shit," she whispered under her breath, unsure if she should have been happy for him... or panicked. She knew what was coming next, and she gritted her teeth, waiting for him to announce it.

He didn't make her wait to confirm her suspicions. "I'm standing by for some answers, but if all goes well... I may be moving to New York in a matter of months. Months! How exciting is that, huh? Anyway, call me when you get an opportunity, or when you're up to it. I'd love to share the details with you... and to hear your voice. I miss you."

Coralie hesitated before redialing his number. What was she supposed to say? That she was thrilled he'd be in the same city as her? That she wished him luck, and couldn't wait for him to be there? His presence only stressed the depth of her issue—the ginormous task ahead of her, the choice she'd been putting off for too long. And if she didn't pick the man she wanted to be with now, before Michael entered negotiations and opened a branch in New York... she'd be having an affair literally under his nose. And how long would she be able to pull that off without him noticing? Or without Ryan seeking him out and fucking things up before she had a chance to come clean?

"Cora?" Michael picked up the call so fast, she barely had a second to prepare what she needed to say. And as she heard him, live and in real-time, sounding so enthusiastic to speak with her... she lost her ability to talk. "You there? Did you butt-dial me?"

It took her several seconds to shake out of her stupor and respond. "Hi, babe. Sorry, haven't had my coffee yet and got a little trigger-happy with the redial button..." She cringed at her word choice. "I'm a bit better and got your voicemail. Wow! That was... fast."

"Right? I definitely didn't expect things to move so quickly but turns out I have clients who were already thinking of suggesting something like this to me." He paused, and Coralie heard him gulping—likely taking a sip of his mid-morning jolt of java. "Perfect timing, I guess. Isn't that awesome, though? I get to expand my business and be with you again!"

Coralie crammed her eyelids shut and held in a groan. Not of annoyance at Michael, but at his not so perfect timing. She wasn't ready; she hadn't had enough time to review her options, to weigh the pros and cons, and to ask herself, her heart, what she wanted. "But you did your research, right? These... investors or advisors or whatever... are they legitimate? I'd hate for you to get rolled into some scam."

"Believe me, I triple checked." Another gulp. "Only trustworthy sources contributed to my search. Not going to lie, this has been on my mind a while, so I knew who to chat with."

"A... while?" Coralie glanced towards the bedroom doorway, hoping Ryan wasn't lurking. A faint scent of brewing coffee, accompanied by running water and a few dishes clinking, reassured her that he was busy, for now. "Since when?"

Michael sighed. "Well, I've always been intrigued by New York, albeit scared of it. I'd compiled some info previously, before reuniting with you... but more so once you said you were moving there. I... Cora, I couldn't let you move across the country without being sure I might be able to join you someday. With you, wherever you are, is where I want to be."

On any other day—and especially not while lounging in Ryan's luxurious bed, gripping his plush pillows—she'd have squealed at such remarks. A man telling her he couldn't live without her? Flattering, impressive, incredible. And of all men, Michael Mills. A man she'd admired for years, found handsome, funny, intelligent. A true gentleman, the dreamy dude any girl would want to date, and of course... husband material. Hell, she'd even thought about it, in her first weeks in New York. Michael joining her, or her returning to San Francisco, and the two of them building something real, something strong. And who knew? Maybe taking things to the ultimate level—a fancy wedding near the Golden Gate Bridge or in some swanky hotel in Manhattan.

But fucking Ryan had to resurface and ruin it all. His reappearance in her life made her question her emotions towards Michael and redirect her energy towards Ryan instead.

"Babe?" Michael's voice, poignant and pressing, drew Coralie back to reality. "You okay? You went super quiet. Did that... freak you out? Did I get too serious? Shit."

She shook her head, then remembered he couldn't see her. "No, it's... I mean I agree, I do, but..."

"But what?" He became distant, as if moving the phone away from himself. Was he glaring at his screen, wishing to view her in it, to gauge her expression? "Tell me."

"It's... a lot, Michael." She grimaced. "Babe. What I mean is... we've only been seeing each other for a few months. And though I have... well, I've imagined us together for a long time, I've wanted this... but I worry that you uprooting yourself and traveling across the country is a big step. Bigger than we're... ready for."

He replied nothing at first, and Coralie peeked at the screen to make sure the call hadn't dropped. Then he coughed, and grumbled under his breath before becoming clearer, his timbre sharp, striking. "What are you trying to say? This is... coming out of nowhere."

She sat up straight and again shook her head, hoping he'd somehow understand how she was trying to fix her comments, how she hadn't meant to seem in the process of breaking up with him. "No, not like that. I'm not... this isn't me saying we're done. I... I want you to be one hundred percent positive this is what you want. That you're not doing this only for me, okay? I'd feel so guilty if you moved, got settled, and we... didn't work out. Because I want us to, I do, but... shit happens. If you were stranded here, resenting me... I wouldn't be able to stand it."

"Okay..." Something buzzed—she presumed he was receiving another call or a text message, making his phone vibrate. "But we're good, then? You're not about to persuade me not to move because you have some massive secret you don't want me to discover? Or you're not slowly letting me down, getting ready to end things? We... you and me... I thought we were pretty special. Something... awesome."

Acid clogged her throat—like the night before, when trying to resist Ryan, when desperate to take a break from all the men who woke heaps of emotions within her, but unable to steer clear of danger. "We are special. This is awesome, Michael. I care about you deeply, that's the truth. I might be a bit... scared, sure. This is... so grown-up, you know? With Jayden, everything was so immature and painful, so I'm... not used to this."

It was no lie, and yet her stomach churned the more she spoke, the deeper she dug her hole. Why was she holding on to him when this was the perfect opportunity to confess her mistakes? Before he changed his life forever, before he flew across America to be with her and found out that yes, she did have a massive secret—and it was a sinful, slutty, despicable one he'd never forgive her for.

Not that I deserve his forgiveness... but I'd hate to break his heart. Because that would break mine, right?

"So... you'd tell me if we were in trouble?" Something pinched his vocal cords; as if he was squeezing his neck, forcing the words out, straining to not cry. "I am hoping to be nearer, Cora, but no... it's not all about you, or us. I genuinely fell for New York, almost like I fell for you. And I'm clear on what I'm getting myself into. I'll take the risk."

Flipping onto her stomach, Coralie melted into the mattress. She pressed one cheek to the cushion and balanced the phone on her other ear. "As long as you're clear, then so am I. Do what's best for you and your business, and we... we will figure everything out."

Sour as the sentences were in her mouth, a tiny part of her couldn't help but be curious, possibly pleased at having Michael closer. She wasn't pretending to miss him, nor was she faking her feelings for him. She enjoyed his company, loved laughing with him, and did see their relationship getting far... if it hadn't been for Ryan's re-entry into her world.

The both of them in the same city... would lead to chaos.

When they hung up, Michael didn't come off as convinced of her claims, but he swore to keep in touch with her and inform her before making any rash decisions. She made it known to him that she wasn't ready to change her living situation—rooming with Delilah had its perks—and they'd still only see each other a few times a week, even if he lived next-door. He consented, bid her a good day, sent smooches through the phone, and ended the call.

As she tossed her phone onto the nightstand, she smelled a sharp and delectable java and sniffed at the air, smirking in anticipation of Ryan's delicious brew. "Ah, can't wait."

"Can't wait to what?" Ryan's throaty, tremulous voice prompted Coralie to rotate and find him lingering in the doorway, holding two steaming mugs. The image was so reminiscent of weeks prior, when he'd overheard her chatting with Michael, and she frowned.

Again, she'd dropped her guard and permitted him to eavesdrop and catch her kindness towards Michael when he'd been expecting her to end their relationship.

She arched a brow and raised a hand. "Ryan, whatever you heard—"

"—can't wait to figure everything out?" He narrowed his gaze, its usual sparkly allure turning dark, cloudy, like stormy midnight waters she was terrified of drowning in. His upper lip curled, and his bare arms bulged, the muscles pulsating with anger. "Is that your way of deciding you want Michael? Is that you figuring everything out between us, too? Explain yourself, Coralie. I've had enough of groveling at your feet only to be disappointed and deceived."

Coralie wrinkled her nose and covered her face with her hands.

Shit.

♥♥♥