Part 38: The Cat's Out of the Bag

Note: To all my lovely, anxious readers. This is dedicated to you all, who became night owls last night for this update. Thank you so much. It really moved me. 

But most of all, this update is for Aashita, aka Dooarashi. Had she not been there, I would never have found about Wattpad and met you all. Thank you for everything Aashita! Thank you for saving my hard work! 

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A strange lull had pervaded the space between them- a huge thick fog, through which the playful shrieks of the children playing below couldn't be heard, through which the chirping of sparrows was muffled. There was utter calm- one that is often present just before an impending storm.

Sameer's eyes were locked onto Naina's. She looked afraid, afraid of the wrath he was sure was radiating from him. His brain was churning the information he'd just been supplied with, sifting through the mists of truth and lies, of past and present.

He'd fathered Diya?

Of their own will, his feet began proceeding towards the open door, to the room where Naina stood. Each of his footsteps sounded like a leaden thump, as if he was in a suspense thriller, and some viewer faraway was anxiously waiting for what next was about to happen.

Sameer crossed the threshold and noticed Naina's eyes widen more. This was the woman he'd loved with every fibre of his being. Yet incredibly, right now he was too numb to even feel that love.

It was unfair of her. Why had she done that?

And then he was standing right in front of her- his posture stoic, his eyes hard and beady, insistently boring into hers. He saw her gulp and look away.

From some deep recesses of his throat, came a voice strangely unfamiliar to his own, and demanded, "Yeh sach hai?"

Naina pursed her lips, but did not turn towards him.

"Maine kuch pucha Naina! Kya yeh sach hai?" He sounded menacing, even to himself.

"Naina?" He hollered. The rage he was trying to subdue was eager for a breakthrough. She winced at his tone.

He caught hold of her chin and jerked her face towards him. There were no sparks where he touched her this time. Naina was taken aback by the way he was glaring at her, and he, with the way her already reddened eyes had misted up.

"Tell me the truth! Please!" he quivered, but his fingers held onto her firmly. She could sense his anticipation in the urgency of that touch.

Slowly, she nodded. "Hhh...haan. Diya tumhari beti hai Sameer. Hum dono ki." And then her eyes cast down again and she was at a loss of words.

If he'd been shocked before, on hearing the words from her mouth, the truth he now knew as a fact, capsized his world. His grip on Naina loosened and with a dazed look, he backed away from her. He started shaking his head, going through the information, snippets of the past, their conversation, the way Diya looked, walked, talked and he felt his eyes well up. He didn't know if the tears were of sadness at being kept in the dark, or of the joy the fact that he'd fathered Diya brought him.

He tried to steady himself and his palm wiped the tears that were threatening to stream down.

"Tum mujhe batane nahi wali thi?" he whimpered.

Naina's lips pursed and she averted her eyes, lest he saw a fragment of that truth in them. An utter silence stretched across them both.

No?

Disbelief spread over his face. He backed against a wall, and gazed at her helplessly. Naina caught his gaze at that instant. She read betrayal in his eyes, a soul so defeated that it startled her.

And then he shook his head several times. "Main kabhi soch bhi nahi sakta tha...," his voice came out in a whisper. His hands shot up to his face and he rubbed his eyes repeatedly, as if that would help him think clearly. He looked up at her again, his voice hoarser than before.

"Of all the things," he sniffed, "mujhe tumse yeh umeed nahi thi! Meri Diya ko mujhse alag...itne saal mujhe pata tak nahi tha ki meri ek beti hai?...Aaj tak main use itna pyaar karta raha...aur...aur main jaanta tak nahi ki...ki wo meri....how...how could you Naina? How could you do this to me?"

Naina was dumbstruck at his accusation. She was still reeling from the aftermath of last night. She'd barely had time to process it all herself, so busy was she answering questions being hurled at her. First Arvind. Then him. She took a deep breath to compose herself and started, "Sameer, main tumhe batane wali thi...wo..."

"Woh kya?" he shrieked, his anger unleashed now.

Naina flinched at his tone.

"Kab batane wali thi? Paanch saal lage tumhe yeh batane mein ki meri ek beti bhi hai? Haan? Cheh mahine se to tum mere sath kaam kar rahi ho...ek din nahi muh khula tumhara...itna badi baat tum mujhse kaise chupa sakti ho? How dare you Naina!"

Naina began again, "ek baar meri baat sun lo."

"Ab sunne ko aur kya bacha hai? Aur bhi koi raaz hai jo main nahi jaanta? Matlab problem kya hai tumhe? Kahin main tumhare raaste mein aa jaunga? Us HiFi Arvind ki jagah mere sath na fas jao?"

Naina looked up at him. His words incensed her. "Chup karo Sameer!"

"Haan tum jo bolo wahi karega Sameer...bas tum apni marzi ki karna!" And then without warning, he held her arms and shook her hard.

"Pucha tha na maine Diya ke baare mein...tumne jhoot bola wo premature hai!"

"Diya premature hi hai!" Naina hissed. She tried to move away from him but couldn't.

His fingers were now digging into the flesh of her arms. He was trying hard to control himself. She could feel it- that infamous anger bubbling beneath the surface.

She was tired of it all. Tired of struggling- against him, against life. She was not prepared for this revelation right now. Just after last night. She felt herself weaken. She closed her eyes and opened them again, trying to bat away the tears. As she slackened, his fingers dug deeper and she winced.

"Ahhh...Mujhe dard ho raha hai Sameer."

"Toh? Mujhse to kam hi hoga! Thoda tum kyun nahi seh sakti?" he lashed out at her, his eyes spewing fire.

"Stop it Sameer!" She fought against him. "Shaant ho jao."

He was furious, yet he yanked himself away from her. His hand shot up into his hair and he combed his fingers through in exasperation.

"Tumhari jagah agar koi aur hota na...," he began vehemently, when a small squeak interrupted them at the door. They both whirled around and saw Diya peering at her parents. Her expression was tensed, confused- at seeing Sameer uncle and her mumma fighting. And she'd heard her name.

"Sameer uncle?" she chirped at him and then glanced at her mother, hoping they'll end their fight.

"Diya! Aapko bola hai na niche jaake khelo...bade baat kar rahe hain, bich mein nahi bolte!" Naina glared at her.

But Sameer did not hear a word of what Naina said. Infact, if it was even possible, he entirely forgot about her presence for an instant- so overwhelmed he became with love for his daughter.

He knelt down and beamed at Diya. And then he threw his arms wide for her. Diya smiled a bit, eyed her mother once, who looked disturbed, back to Sameer uncle, who suddenly seemed happy. And she quickly ran into his outstretched arms.

Sameer's arms engulfed her, held onto her tightly, like she was the elixir that breathed a new life into him. His body racked with sobs- again probably a confused mixture of sadness and joy. A strange contentment filled his heart. When he finally released her from the embrace, he held her arms softly and surveyed her. It was as if he wanted to memorize every tiny detail about her face- the way her silky hair wavered to her cheeks. His hair! He'd known, hadn't he?

The beautiful brown of her eyes- Naina's. His eyes darted over to Naina, and he compared. In Diya's presence, his anger felt momentarily dilated, replaced with uninhibited love.

Sameer noticed she was slightly red and sweaty. She must have been playing around. Yeah! An outdoor kid, wasn't she? Just like him.

He brought her hands to his, the tiny fingers casting a charm on him. He smiled at her.

His daughter.

He looked at her in adoration. Her skin was exceptionally fair. Doctors had told him an unusually fair skin tone was also a symptom of PKU. He recalled his Nani- her creamy complexion had been the talk of the town in her days. Of course! It ran in his family! And he suddenly felt guilty- for it was his genes that had inflicted the disease upon his child. His beloved child! How grateful he was to the almighty that the disease had not had a detrimental impact on Diya. He shuddered to think of what could've happened. All because Naina decided to hide the truth from him. She risked his child's life for her ego!

Rage rolled back into his veins. His eyes shot back towards Naina. He could never forgive her for what she did to Diya. But Naina seemed to be focused somewhere else. She was looking at them both with an odd, pensive expression, which briefly disoriented him. He tried to decipher her- the way she was eyeing him with his daughter, no, their daughter.

And then Diya broke his trance, "Sameer uncle, aap aur mumma kyun lad rahe ho?"

"Uncle?" He was still an uncle to her. He deserved to be called Papa, or dad or baba. He wondered which one she would have preferred. He seethed inside at Naina and then deciding to ignore her, turned to Diya and said affectionately. "Kuch nahi beta. Hum lad nahi rahe!"

He then got up and pulled her in his arms. He planted a soft kiss on her cheeks- marveling that he'd created that miracle, with Naina- the child in his arms now.

Naina on the other hand, stood stumped, as she saw Sameer finally have the interaction with Diya that she'd hoped for since ages, his reaction in particular when he got to know he had a child. She'd wanted this love for Diya. Had even prayed that Sameer would realize his folly and accept them back into his life. Naina had dreamt of how happy they'd be as a family, how Sameer would care for Diya, how he'd lift her in his arms, play with her. It was as if all her fantasies had come true in that moment. She couldn't help but feel glad at the affection he had for Diya, and this love, which had multiplied at the realization of their biological connection. Could she want anything better for Diya? Perhaps no. If only Diya really got to keep her father's love forever...

"Aap Sameer uncle ke sath chaloge? Aapko bahot sare games khilayenge hum."

His words brought her back to reality. A feeling of alarm shot through her. "Wait!"

Diya's face lit up and she looked at her mother for permission.

But Naina's face was horrified, her throat constricted. She managed to utter hoarsely, "Sameer...Diya ko chodo."

He looked at her coldly. "Nahi."

Naina's eyes widened in alarm.

"Wo mere sath chalegi!" he added. "Haina beta?" he turned to Diya sweetly.

Naina almost lunged ahead and shouted, her voice quaking, "Sameer, tum Diya ko kahin nahi le jaa sakte! Diya meri beti hai!"

Sameer reluctantly put Diya down. Furious as he was, he suddenly felt overly protective of Diya. He did not want her to hear the scene being played out. It was not advisable for a young child like Diya, who obviously knew nothing, to be subjected to a shocking revelation like this, something which could harm her psychologically.

He inched closer to Naina, his eyes level with hers, he hissed in a low voice, "Diya meri bhi beti hai."

Naina noticed he was still holding Diya's hand. "Main tumhe Diya ko mujhse alag nahi karne dungi!" she glared at him.

"Try me!" He sneered. "Vaise Diya ko kiske sath rehna chahiye, iska decision Diya ka hona chahiye, haina?" he said, as softly as he could.

Diya was now looking at them with worried expressions, as she held onto Sameer uncle's hand. "Why were they fighting about her?"

"Sameer, maine kaha na Diya ko chodo," Naina whispered through gritted teeth.

"Paanch saal tumne meri beti ko mujhse alag rakha hai...Paanch minute nahi reh sakta main uske sath?"

His words seared her heart. She had no answer.

Samer quietly turned to Diya, aware that the scene was getting too heated up.

"Diya beta, mumma theek keh rahi hain. Bade baat kar rahe hain na, aap niche jaa ke khelo." His throat choked as he said, "Uncle...," and paused and then steeling himself continued, "...uncle aur mumma kuch zaruri baat karke aate hain, fir hum park jayenge, theek hai?"

Diya looked uncertainly at her mother, whose seemed on the verge of tears. She had been upset since the morning and had become more so now. Naina nodded assuringly at her, urging her to go down.

Diya turned back to Sameer uncle. She pulled at his sleeve. When he bent down towards her, she whispered in his ears, "uncle, mumma kal se bahot udaas hain. Aap please unpe gussa mat karna. Agar unhone koi mistake ki hai to unki taraf se sorry."

Sameer's heart melted at the words out of her mouth. He wondered wistfully if she would have sided with him too had she known he was her father?

Sameer gave her a smile and nodded, and then nudged her out. His eyes locked longingly onto her form, as she pattered down the staircase, finally out of his sight.

Sameer turned once again towards Naina. He caught her wiping her eyes on the back of her hand, trying to recollect herself.

He uttered as a matter-of-factly. "Meri beti ne mujhse kaha hai ki main tumpe gussa na karun. Agar use pata hota uski maa ne kya kiya hai...," he clenched his teeth.

"Tum itni selfish hogi maine kabhi nahi socha tha Naina...ek second ke liye tumhe mera, mere jazbaaton ka khayal nahi aaya? Diya ko leke main doctor ke pass jaa raha hun, uska ilaaj kara raha hun, dhakke kha raha hun- soch raha hun use yeh beemari aayi kaise. Jabki jawab mere saamne tha. Jawaab main tha!"

He paused for breath. "Aur baat chedi bhi maine. Pucha tumse, lekin tumne to mujhe na batane ki kasam kha rakhi thi. Bas apni kitaab publish karaun, paise ekkathe karun, fir kaun Sameer...as usual! Bas apna kaam nikal jaye. Dusron ke jazbaat thodi mayne rakhte hain tumhare liye!"

It was as if the tables had turned. As if Sameer held her responsible for everything- after all he'd put her through! Something snapped inside of her. Enough! She'd had enough! Years of pent-up agony, indignation and ire flared instantly through her.

"Shut up Sameer! Bahot bol liye tum!" Naina screamed.

Sameer was taken aback by her outburst.

"Haan. Nahi bataya maine," she shrieked. "Kyun bataun? Kis haq se batati? Kya rishta kya tha hum dono ka?"

"Kya rishta tha? Tum pagal to nahi ho gayi ho?" His voice rose several notches now. "Tum meri bacchi ki maa ho...koi rishta nahi hai hamara? Aakhir aisi bhi kya galti thi meri Naina? Ek to tum mujhe bina kuch bataye chod ke chali gayi...nahi aata main tumhari picture perfect zindagi mein...lekin kya mujhe meri beti ke baare mein jaanene ka bhi haq nahi tha?"

"Haq? Kaisa haq Sameer? Kaisa haq? Haan...hun main tumhari beti ki maa...lekin ek najayaz maa! Tumhe samajh bhi aata hai ek bin byaahi ladki pe kya beeti hogi jab use pata chala hoga ki wo maa banana wali hai? Tumhare liye to yeh aam baat thi. Ladkiyon ka fayeda uthao, uske baad unhe unke haal pe chod do! Aur fir puchte hain galti kya thi!" She was trembling with rage.

"Are you out of your senses? Yeh sochti ho tum mere baare mein?"

"Sochti nahi jaanti hun. Tumne mere sath dhokha kiya Sameer! But you know what, you're right! Galti tumhari nahi hai. Galti to meri hi thi. Maine apne parivaar ko dhokha diya, maine apne dimag ke aage dil ki suni. Tumhare pyaar mein itni andhi thi ki mujhe kuch dikha hi nahi. Bas tum jo bolte rahe, main karti rahi. Kehte hain na log pyaar mein pagal ho jaate hain! Main bhi pagal ho gayi thi! Aur us pagalpan mein maine apni, apne parivaar ki, apni bacchi ki zindagi daav pe laga di. Sirf ek aawara ladke ke liye..."

Her words hit something deep inside him. He'd hardly heard her complete."Tum mujhse pyaar karti thi?....You...you loved me?"

This morning was full of shocks to him. First, Diya was his daughter. And now, Naina was saying she loved him?

"Obviously I did. Jis din se tumhe pehli baar dekha tha, us din se! Lekin tumne na kabhi yeh samajhna chaha, na janana chaha. Main to sirf tumhari dost thi- ek aisi dost jiske sath wo sab kiya jaa sakta hai jo ek pati-patni mein hota hai, jo do pyaar karne walon mein hota hai...bas usse pyaar nahi kiya jaa sakta. Main aaj khud ko dekhti hun to taras aata hai khud pe...bahot gussa aata hai. Aaj Diya ko jo din dekhne pade hain, sirf meri wajah se. Meri galtiyon ki saza meri bacchi ko mili hai. All because main itni bevakoof thi!"

She was sobbing hard now. "Kyun Sameer? Kyun? Kyun meri fikar ka itna natak kiya tumne? Pyaar nahi kar paaye the to izzat to kar lete...I loved you Sameer, I loved you so much...and uske badle mujhe kya mila...duniya bhar ke taane...barbadi...ek nakamyab zindagi...".

The words he'd been dying to hear her say were pouring out of her mouth uninhibited. 'I loved you Sameer!' She loved him. Then why didn't she come to him? Why does she think he never cared for her, never respected her? Why would she think like that?

"Tum ek baar mujhe to bol to sakti thi...main...," Sameer began, completely flabbergasted by the direction the conversation had taken.

"Tumhe batati?" She laughed mockingly. "Kya kaha tha tumne? Haan...shaadi karni hai to kar lo na...mujhe bata dena, main apne time pass ke liye koi aur dhundh lunga...Aaj tak tumhare wo shabd mere kaanon mein goonjate hain Sameer! Bahot mushkil se himmat juta ke us din tumhare pass aayi thi, ki tumse apne dil ki baat kahungi. Lekin...," her throat was choking with tears now. "Lekin tumne..." She couldn't complete.

"Naina...mera wo...main...," he started, but she cut him off.

"Kya main Sameer? Samjhaya tumne mujhe ki main to sirf ek time-pass thi. Tumhari kuch zaruraton ke liye bas. Usse zyada tumhe mujhse kya matlab tha? Ab tum hamare rishte ki baat kar rahe ho?"

"Yeh sach nahi hai Naina! I loved you too..tumhe nahi pata...!" Sameer started.

"Love?" she threw her head back and laughed. "Kal raat ko nashe me chaar filmy gaane gaake tumhe mujhse pyaar hone laga...? Ya yeh pyaar isliye umad pada ki Diya tumhari beti hai? Please yeh sab drama tum Noopur ke liye rakho Sameer...main thak chuki hun."

"Naina, listen to me please. I really love you...!"

"I love you sirf teen shabd nahi hote Sameer, ki jab man kara kisi ko keh diye jaaye...hazaron jasbaat chipe hote hain in teen lafzon mein! Aur jab tak yeh dil se mehsoos na ho na...inhe kisi se kehna nahi chahiye!"

"Main jaanti hun meri haisiyat hi nahi thi kabhi tumhari hone ki...fir bhi is dil ko kaise samjhati? Maine tumhe itna toot ke pyaar kiya...tumhe sabse aage rakha...apna tan, man, sab tumhare havale kar diya...uthate, baithate sirf tumhari hoke rahi, aur tum...aaj tum aake mujhse keh rahe ho ki maine Diya ka sach chupa ke galat kiya. Kya batati main tumhe Diya ke baare mein jab main ek sirf time-pass thi? Kya kehte tum apni Noopur ko apni najayaz aulaad ke baare mein? Kya batati main Diya ko uske baap ke baare mein? Ki wo bacchi, jo meri jaan hai- wo ek galti thi?"

He didn't know what to say to her now. His anger had vanished and he felt remorse well up inside him. He had been an arse to say such mean things to her- the girl he'd loved and cared for more than his own life. All because he did not want to let her, or anyone know about his vulnerability- the way his heart was yearning for her. He was such a git!

Unsure of what to do, he stepped closer to her. It was ironic that he was at a loss at how to comfort her today, when this was the same woman he'd cuddled and touched and cheered whenever he pleased. Sadly, very sadly, he noticed that red dab of sindoor over her forehead and the mangalsutra gleaming on her neck. Had he not been a jerk to her that day at Bandra, she would have confessed her true feelings to him. He would have known she was in love with him. It would have helped him realize his own feelings faster. They could have been together- married, with Diya. If only...

He sighed, then awkwardly patted her head and put his arm around her shoulder. She was a friend at least- a friend who'd suffered because of him, a friend who needed him. He felt her melt a little at his touch and her breathing ease.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

At those words, she abruptly stiffened. She quickly sniffled her tears, as if suddenly jolted into reality. His saying sorry was him admitting to his follies. And she wasn't prepared to forgive him for what he did.

Before he could think, he asked. "Do you still love me?" He knew the question made no sense now that she was taken, but he still asked.

"Inn baaton ka ab koi matlab nahi raha Sameer," she moved away from him and tried to reign in her sobbing. She did not want to love him, or hate him anymore. She only wanted her daughter with her.

"Matlab hai Naina...I...I do love you...I've always loved you...," he started.

"Sameer please!" She closed her eyes in irritation.

Sameer went silent. A hollowness engulfed him throughout.

Minutes of seemingly never-ending silence crept by as they both were lost in thoughts of their past. And then finally Naina spoke.

"Yeh sab bhool jao Sameer. Apni nayi zindagi ki shuruaat karo. Meri taraf se tumhe koi pareshaani nahi hogi. Yeh baat kabhi bahar nahi aayegi. Tumhe aur Noopur ko meri taraf se dher saari shubhkamnayeein. I promise main tumhara saara karz main utaar dungi."

He looked at her in surprise. "Kaisa karz Naina? Diya meri bhi beti hai. Jitna tumhara uspe haq hai, utna mera bhi hai! Main uske liye bahot kuch karna chahta hun."

"Nahi Sameer. Diya ki zindagi mein shuru se lekar aajtak main rahi hoon- yahi zindagi rahi hai uski. Main majboor zarur hun...aur chahe kuch bhi ho tumhare bahot ehsaan hain mujhpe. Main bahot shukarguzaar hun. Lekin aisa mat samajhna Sameer...ki tum ek din achanak mere saamne aake, meri zindagi bhar ki khushiyan mujhse cheen loge!"

"Naina, kya ho gaya hai tumhe?" He pressed his palms over her trembling hands, and brought them towards himself. "Diya meri bhi khushi hai...par tumhari khushi se badhkar na Naina, maine zindagi mein kuch nahi chaha hai!"

"Huh!" Naina scoffed, jerking his hand away.

"Meri zindagi barbad kar di tumne...aur keh rahe ho meri khushiyon ke aage kuch nahi hai? Ab to jhooth bolna band karo Sameer," she shook tremulously, tears creeping down her face again.

"Maine tumhari zindagi barbad ki? Tum apni marzi se gayi thi Naina...mujhe akela, tadapta chod ke!"

"Marzi?" She let out a hollow laugh. "Ek bees saal ki unmarried, pregnant ladki ki kya marzi ho sakti hai Sameer?" She sobbed. "Kahan jaati main? Kiske pass jaati?"

"Naina, tum ek baar mere pass to aati. Tum jaisa soch rahi ho vaisa bilkul nahi hai. Us din ke baad maine tumhe bahot dhundha tha...!" Sameer said earnestly.

"Dhundha tha!" She scorned.

"Naina, trust me please!"

"Kyun? Why should I trust you? Dhundha tha na tumne mujhe? Kab? Time mil gaya tha tumhe apni hazaron girlfriends ke bavjood?"

Girlfriends? "Kaunsi girlfriends?"

"Ab aur naatak nahi Sameer! Kyun kisi ladki ke jasbaat ke saath itna khelte ho tum? Kyun? Maine tumpe kitna bharosa kiya...aur tumne kya kiya...main sochti thi hum dost to the...par tumhe to sirf mere sharer se matlab tha...aur baad mein pata chala ki baakiyon ke bhi...!"

"Yeh tum kya bol rahi ho Naina...maine aisa kabhi nahi...,"

"Kaha Sameer...tumne aisa bahot baar kaha...main hi nahi samjhi thi...meri aankhon ke aage to sirf tumhare pyaar ka parda tha...par tumhari acting ka to jawaab nahi...tum dhokha dete rahe aur main khaati rahi!"

"Kaisa dhokha Naina? Main manta hun us din maine bahot badtameezi ki thi, lekin iska yeh matlab nahi ki tum mujhpe jo chaho wo ilzaam lagati jao," Sameer retorted. "Mera character kharaab zarur tha. Lekin tumse milne ke baad, main sudhar gaya tha Naina, aur yeh baat tum ache se jaanti ho!"

"Main ilzaam laga rahi hun?" she yelled in disbelief. The next moment, her hands had curled around his wrist and she was leading him away into the bedroom.

"Naina...kya...kya kar rahi ho?"

But she did not listen. Her eyes choking with tears, she pushed him against the door of the bedroom.

"Paanch saal pehle Rahul ne diya tha mujhe...pata hai kya kaha tha.... 'Naina...tum to Sameer ki khaas dost ho na...yeh uska kuch saaman reh gaya tha...tum bhi Ahemdabad ki ho to use lauta dogi na?' "Maine yeh bag le liya...mujhe kya pata tha...is bag mein tumhari saare jhooth...tumhari saari kartootein band thi!"

"Bag? Kaunsa bag diya tumhe Rahul ne?" Sameer was bewildered as he tried to recall what piece of his luggage had been so incriminating.

She dashed to a suitcase lying beneath her bed. She pulled it out with effort, as Sameer watched, dumbstruck. She unzipped the lid of the suitcase, and fished out a mustard colour polythene bag. Trembling in rage, she extracted a camel brown leather folder and stared at in disgust.

Sameer was speechless. He gaped at the folder in her hands, wondering what on earth was there in it- in the folder that he'd never even seen before.

"Yeh lo. Tumhari amanat. Jis din tumse wapis mili thi, socha tha tabhi de dungi. Puchungi ki tumne mere saath aisa kyun kiya. Lekin de nahi paayi. Laga shayad tum apni zindagi ki firse shuruaat kar chuke ho. Mere saath theek se pesh aate the. Meri bahot madad ki tumne. Diya ka itna khayal rakha. Aur main firse hamare rishte mein kadwahat nahi laana chahti thi. Fir tumhe Noopur ke saath khush dekha...aur kya hai na, pyaar mein pagal to hamesha se hi thi...tumhari khushi ke aade na aa payi! Lekin ab main thak chuki hun Sameer. Please! Ab main yeh drama nahi seh sakti. Tum rakho apni Shreya, Riya, Piya apne pass!"

With this, she threw that folder at his feet.

"Naina? Tum hosh mein to ho? Yeh kya bole jaa rahi ho? Kaun Shreya? Kaun hain yeh sab?"

"Tumhe pata hoga! Tumhara rishta pakka hua tha na uske sath! Mujhse shaadi karne mein to bahot taqleef thi tumhe! Uske liye jhat se maan gaye? Mujhe bol ke gaye Nanu ke pass jaa raha hun, aur Dilli jaake rishta tay? Fir kya hua? Usse bhi bore ho gaye? Toh ab Noopur? Tumse bas ek sawaal puchna tha Sameer- ek ladki ka dil dukha ke, itne maze se shaadi kaise kar sakte ho? Kabhi un bakiyon ka khayaal bhi aata hai kya tumhe?"

"Stop it Naina. Main kuch bol nahi raha iska matlab tum kuch bhi bakwas karti jaogi? Maine is folder ko pehle kabhi nahi dekha. Maine hamesha tumhari bahot izzat ki hai. Maine sach mein tumhari bahot talaash ki...kahan kahan nahi bhatka...sirf tumhare liye...!"

"Sab kuch saamne aane ke baad bhi tum khud ko kaise defend kar sakte ho?" She flailed her arms in exasperation. And then she heaved in a deep breath. "Tum please jao yahan se!"

Sameer was completely baffled, not to mention in a voracious temper. How much ever he tried, Naina was neither ready nor sane enough to listen to him right now. His eyes darted to the seemingly innocuous folder lying at his feet- that very folder he supposed had ruined his life. Naina's life. Diya's life. This was the folder that had snatched Naina from him and it seemed as if all these years, he'd held her guilty for a crime she'd never committed.

Quietly, he bent down and picked up the folder. As he got up, his eyes travelled to where Naina was now sitting down on the bed, silent tears still streaming out of her eyes.

"Main jaa raha hun Naina. But please, ek aakhiri baar bharosa karke dekh lo. Main sach mein is folder ke baare mein kuch nahi jaanta."

There was no answer from Naina.

"Pata hai Naina, maine zindagi mein pehle to kabhi kisi ladki ko chahte, na chahte dhokha nahi diya, na hi tumhe diya. Par kal raat mujhe ehsaas hua ki maine sach mein ek ladki ka dil dukhaya tha. Aur pata hai kyun? Kyunki kal raat use meri aankhon mein tumhare liye wo pyaar dikha, jo tum kabhi dekh nahi paayi." Naina glanced up at him in surprise.

"Noopur aur meri shaadi toot chuki hai. She was the only girl I betrayed Naina, and she was my friend. I couldn't even dream of hurting her, yet I did. All because I could never get over you!"

With this, the folder clutched in his hand, Sameer walked out of the room.

Once he was secure in his car, Sameer finally let out the breath he was holding. His eyes misted up as he tried to wind his head around the situation. It had been beyond his hope that a day would come when Naina would tell him that she had madly in love with him all along. No matter how many scenarios he'd replayed in his mind, in the most wishful of his dreams, none seemed as wild as the day that panned out today.

So she had loved him. And she was saying he'd betrayed her! Had been involved with other women! That wasn't true! And how could it be when he spent half his time with her, in her room. And who the hell was this Shreya.

Sameer opened the zipper of the folder, and out fell a big leather diary, a few letters and some pieces of folded paper.

He opened the diary. The first page held his name in blue, block letters, "Sameer Maheshwari!"

His diary?

Yes, he did write a diary at some or other point in his life. He was not a regular and he'd definitely not seen this particular one before. He flicked through the pages and found it to be almost full of entries. As he shook it, out fell a photograph.

It was a picture of Meghnaa kissing him on the cheek while he posed in front of a cake. But Naina was already aware that he was briefly involved with Meghnaa. He turned the photograph and his eyes widened. It read,

"From the first kiss, till now...The journey has been one hell of a ride!

Happy Twentieth Sexy!

Mujhe mere return gift ka intezaar rahega- kal raat ko mere room pe! *Winks*

Love, kisses and a lot more,

Your Meghnaa!"

Twentieth? When had she wished him on his twentieth birthday? He did remember one of their common friends clicking this picture during his fourteenth birthday celebration in Nainital. And that had been when Meghnaa had kissed him for the first time. It had been a spur of the moment thing and had earned them loads of wolf-whistles. But he never remembered seeing this picture. He wasn't even aware the moment was caught in the camera, and he didn't even have it as far as he recalled.

He did not deny that picture or that kiss. But what was this obnoxious message? The writing was Meghnaa's all right. Sameer remembered the elaborate loops she used to trace back in school. He had never even kissed her in college and here she was talking about what not! Disgusted, he shoved the photograph away. If Meghnaa was behind this, wherever she was, he would see to it that she suffered the consequences.

He opened the diary to the first entry. His jaw fell open in shock. It was his handwriting! Well close enough. It might have changed a little with time. Yet it had an uncanny resemblance.

It was a memoir wherein he was detailing his trip to Mahabaleshwar with Naina Chaudhary in their second year- that Commerce girl he knew had been all sweet on him initially, until she found love in Vineet. He remembered that for a fact, for he'd gagged listening to Vineet rambling about how amazing she was. Yet his account in the diary was full of weird, indelicate details. He had never so much as held her hand, and he was raving about a trip to Mahabeshwar with her?

Intrigued, he quickly turned to the next one. This one was about meeting Meghnaa again after all those years. How he could never get enough of her. How the way she set her eyes on him made him wild with desire. Seriously? I mean he'd give it to her that she was hot, but she was equally dumb. Not really his type! And that was the reason he'd broken up with her so soon. He just couldn't stand her constant senseless chattering and her narcissm.

A gasp of air left his lungs as he started the next account in the diary. He was talking about his parents, about how his mother fusses over him too much, actually embarrasses him with her love. Apparently, she was chiding him for not calling her every week.

Wait, what?

The entry also talked about how his dearest step-father had purchased a few shares for him on the occasion of his eighteenth birthday and was hoping he'd get serious and join his business soon.

He sucked in a deep breath. The fake Sameer had journaled extensively about his fun hostel life, which gave him the freedom he so desired, while reminiscing those 'golden' days. He'd even talked about moving to Ahemdabad to be with his Nanu. And how his parents had missed him, and kept coaxing him to give up his ego and come home to Delhi. Apparently, they did not give him the freedom and the way of life which he could get with his Nanu in Ahemdabad. At least the entries accepted that he was fond of his grandfather.

"That was honest! Thank you very much." He thought sarcastically.

As he read ahead, Sameer's face turned wan. For a moment, he himself was confused between his real life and the life which he was reading about in the diary. The entries all spoke of love and affection from his parents and him not being interested in any of it. Only Sameer knew how much he'd craved as much as a second glance from his mother.

He was beginning to understand what impact reading this diary must have had upon Naina. She would have felt shattered, completely betrayed. She must have thought he'd been deceiving her about every single thing in his life- even his parents.

He tried to put himself in Naina's shoes. There was no way he would have taken it as gracefully as she had, nor walked quiety away. Infact, had it been him in her place, he'd have barged into her home, regardless of her family and demanded the truth.

He was feeling discomfited, even hapless as he went through those false accounts in what was purportedly his diary. It was all too much to take in! Deciding to take a break, he kept the diary aside and fumbled inside the folder. His fingers curled upon a letter. As he unfolded it, the words scrawled across it left him stumped.

It was a letter wherein the girl had blasted him about breaking up with her and attached a copy of his letter- again a letter in his handwriting? She was returning his love to him, along with the letter he wrote. Sameer again pulled it to the light and examined the hand-writing. Seemed very much like his own. Had he written this and forgotten? This was dated somewhere in '93, their college time. And by that time, he was heart and soul immersed in only one girl- Naina. Then how in the world had he penned down dedications to some girl of the name Aakriti and vowed to marry her as soon as college finished.

There were also a bunch of letters from Meghnaa again, again with their curvy loops. Sameer read them with growing distaste. Each talked about their secret rendezvous since their second year, which he knew had never happened. Naina knew I didn't like her! I scared her wits out that day with the mouse prank. How could she believe this then? And why would Meghnaa write all these false letters when there was nothing between us.

He opened the last letter now, fervently praying it wasn't another farce. This one was from a first year student, Piyali, who had a crush on him. This one thankfully was a cute love letter, with Piyali expressing her feelings for him, and a dried rose was preserved in it. Sameer racked his brains to recall who Piyali was, or if he'd ever received such a letter. But couldn't. Maybe she'd kept it in his bag somehow secretly, hoping he would read it, but it ended up adding to the evidence against Sameer.

Naina thought he'd misled a naïve first year? How could you Naina?

Once the stock of letters which implicated his betrayal to Naina finished, Sameer returned to the diary with a heavy heart.

In those next couple of entries, the phony Sameer was rambling about Shreya (finally he understood where that came from). She was apparently his childhood friend.

When had he been friends with girls back then? Well except Naina!

No matter how much he racked his mind to be sure he hadn't forgotten about some childhood incident, not even a vague outline of this Shreya appeared. Because she had never existed.

Yet this Shreya was mentioned even in his parents' letters as per the diary. Sameer had written about falling for her a bit more than a friend. In the subsequent entries, she seemed to have spoken to him about her dad meeting his step-father and finalizing their wedding. He seemed to have responded in the affirmative. The next two entries detailed his discussion with his parents over the prospect of marriage with Shreya. It was then that he'd agreed and visited Delhi for two to three days, so that they could have a formal shagun rasam. Sameer from the diary, seemed pretty excited about that event and was asking for pictures of the ceremony and detailing how the priests were working on fixing a marriage date once his college ended in two months. This was sometime in April '94, the ceremony days were...wait...they were just after Naina's birthday. He had been to Ahemdabad and not Delhi that time- that too, because his Nanu had wanted his signatures on some formal documents. He understood what Naina was plying at now.

A non-existent fiancé! What could be worse than this?

And he got the answer as he read ahead- the thing that would have hurt Naina the most. There were excerpts wherein he casually talked about flings with some of their classmates. Sameer was disgusted to see half the girls in his class were listed there- including Naina. He'd even mentioned that Naina was now demanding more of his time. And that he was feeling fed-up of her. He was no longer interested in her, but she wasn't taking the hint.

He'd been obsessed with Naina by then! Literally obsessed! He could not even think about anyone but her. How could he write these things about her?

Had he been drugged by someone? Or hypnotized? But why would anyone do this to him?

Whoever had masterminded this had clearly known about his relationship with Naina. He recalled Tibrewal's words.... "pure college ko pata tha!"

Was it true then? Had everyone known what was going on between him and Naina? He stared at the words written down in the diary. Yes, and obviously, they knew the extent to which they were 'together'. He gulped.

Was it Tibrewal then? Or...he remembered Naina telling him a while back that Rahul had handed her this folder to give to him. But Rahul ever mentioned anything about it to him.

Would Rahul know anything? Sameer recalled how Sunil and Rahul had helped him during the time of his Nanu's death, taken care of his luggage. How sweetly Rahul had forgotten about his enmity with him and helped him? Was it all a farce? Sameer felt his blood boil. He would find out. Find out if Rahul had been genuine or involved in fixing him up. Did he know what was in this folder? And if he did, how did he know that these letters, this diary would affect Naina?

Pure college ko pata tha...The words echoed again. Of course he would know! But why would he want to break him and Naina up? To save Naina for himself? But then why didn't he go after her?

He got out of his car impetuously and ran towards Naina's apartment. He climbed the stairs two at a time, when he finally found the door on the third floor of that dilapidated building. Panting for breath, he rang the bell impatiently, half-pounding on the door. He had to clear it all to her. At least now that he knew that the woman he'd truly loved had loved him ardently back.

Naina peeked through the eyehole and then opened the door a few inches. It was apparent from her deep red eyes that she'd been crying- a lot. She looked at him, surprised to see him so troubled.

"Naina...do minute please baat karni hai...sirf do minute...yeh sab jhoot hai Naina...sab jhoot hai...main in letters ke baare mein kuch nahi jaanta...yeh diary meri hai hi nahi," he started.

"Sameer please...tum jao yahan se...!"

"Naina...mera yakeen karo...tumse milne ke baad maine kisi aur ladki ki taraf nahi dekha...!"

"Sameer...isme tumhari likhwat hai...kya main tumhari likhwat nahi pehchanti? Kyun jhoot bol rahe ho? Please jao!"

"Nahi Naina...main manta hun isme sab sabot mere khilaaf hai...lekin main tumhe yeh saabit karke rahunga ki yeh saare letters, yeh diary, yeh photograph sab jhooth hai Naina..I promise...mujhe tumhari aur Diya ki kasam!"

"Sameer please. Meri kasam kha lo, lekin Diya ki nahi. Tum bhale hi meri zindagi ke bahot bade gunehgaar ho, par fir bhi main tumhari ehsaanmand hun. Jaante ho kyun? Kyunki tumhari wajah se mujhe Diya mili. Bas use mujhse mat cheeno please!"

Sameer laughed a little in hysteria. "You don't believe me? You think main tumhari aur Diya ki jhoothi kasam kha sakta hun? Itna gira hua hun main? Tumhe lagta hai maine wo Meghnaa aur pata nahi kis kis ke saath kya kya kiya? Tell me Naina, dil se socho ek baar...kya tumhe sach mein lagta hai ki main us pure time college mein tumhare alawa kisi aur ka tha? Jawab ki jaldi nahi hai. Soch ke batana, kyunki tumhara dil kya kehta hai yeh janana mere liye bahot zaruri hai."

Naina was taken aback by his words. Deep down, now that she was calmer, his words struck a chord with her. Her heart leaped up in his defense. He'd wouldn't swear upon Diya. Was it possible that he was innocent...despite everything?

"Aur haan Naina...I do love you...yeh shabd mere liye koi mazak nahi hain...main jaanta hun mera tumpe ab koi haq nahi hai...lekin main tumse pyaar karna to nahi chod sakta...par mera pyaar tumhari zindagi mein...ya Diya ki zindagi mein koi rukawat nahi banega...bas ek baar...ek baar main sach saabit kar dun...to kya tum kabhi kabhi hi sahi, mujhe meri beti se milne dogi? Mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye. Please Naina! I beg of you!"

Naina eyed him for a few moments, then willed her senses not to fall pray to his brilliant acting again. "Bye Sameer!" and she closed the door on his face.

Sameer stood there motionless for a few stifling seconds. And then his feet dragged him down, back towards his car, when he heard the only voice which could salve his agony.

"Sameer uncle?"

He turned to look at Diya, his face breaking into a smile. He didn't realize he was capable of it in the aftermath of this peculiar, devastating morning.

"Aap jaa rahe ho?" she cooed, tottering towards him, her eyes scanning his gloomy face.

"Haan beta. Jaana padega." He sighed. "Aap fir milogi na mujhse?" The words spilled out of his mouth.

"Haan? Kyun? Aap nahi milna chahte mujhse?" Diya's eyes widened.

"Main kaise nahi milna chahunga apni pyaari gudiya se...meri pyaari beti se!" His fingers pushed a lock of hair behind her ear as he caressed her cheek.

Diya smiled. This was the first time Sameer uncle had addressed her as beti. She liked it.

"Aapne to kaha tha hum park jayenge, toh aap kyun jaa rahe ho? Mumma aur aapka jhagda hua isliye?"

Sameer held her palms again and peered at them silently. "Abhi Sameer uncle ko kaam aa gaya beta. Next time jayenge, pakka!"

Diya did not seem convinced. For a five year old, she was observant of the emotions around her- especially strife.

"Mumma ne aap pe gussa kiya ya aapne unpe? Maine sorry bola than a mummy ki side se. Vaise mujhe pata hai mumma zyada gussa nahi karti...par kehti hain ki mera gussa ekdum mere papa jaisa hai." She chuckled.

This earned a grin from Sameer. He cocked his brows. "Really? Aap ke papa gusse karte hain?"

"Wo to kahin door videsh mein rehte hain. Maine unhe kabhi dekha nahi...," Sameer heart constricted at those words, "... par mumma kehti hain, gussa hamesha unki naak pe hota tha." She giggled pointing her finger at her nose.

Sameer's hands fell limply to his sides and he nodded. "Sach to kehti hai wo!" He thought morosely.

"Par Mumma bolti hain gussa karna buri aadat hai...," Diya elaborated.

Sameer looked up at her again. "Bilkul theek kehti hain aapki mumma. Gussa bahot buri cheez hai. Aapko pata hai Sameer uncle ko bhi bahot gussa aata tha, aur us wajah se unki aunty aur beti unse door chali gayi! " He eyed her wistfully, not wanting to cry in front of her. "Isliye aapko bhi gussa nahi karna chahiye! Promise me?" He held his hand out for her.

Diya's face fell at his words. She put her hands in his and nodded,"Promise!"

And then she brought her palms near his eyes. Her tiny fingers began wiping the tears that had begun trickling down his cheek. "Aap udaas mat ho uncle. Abse aap bhi gussa mat karna. Fir wo aunty aur aapki beti pakka aapko wapis mil jayenge!"

"Pakka?" Sameer let out hoarsely, desperate for assurance, even if it came from a five year old child. But that child was his daughter- his blood, a piece of his soul. When Diya said he'd get his daughter back, it brought to him a flimsy line of hope.

Diya nodded enthusiastically and Sameer pulled her into a hug. "Mera pyaara baccha!" He sobbed.

"I'm sorry beta!" Sameer took in a deep breath as he looked at her.

"Sorry kyun?"

"Maine aapki mumma se jhagda kiya. Aapne mumma ki taraf se mujhe sorry bola, ab please jaake meri taraf se apni mumma ko sorry bol doge? Aapki baat mumma maan lengi."

Diya nodded and saw him get up.

"Abhi Sameer uncle ko jaana hai!"

"Bye uncle!"

As she saw him unlock his car, and step inside, Diya silently hoped that her promise of controlling her anger would also help bring her father to her. Like Sameer uncle would get back his aunty and his daughter.

Sameer started his car, and waved back to Diya. And then his eyes darted over to the window above her, where through a chink in the curtain, he saw Naina watching them.

Maybe she doesn't trust me at all. I can't blame her after all she read. Did she expect I'll run away with Diya? Their eyes met from a distance, and Sameer heaved a sigh. Maybe she still loves me.

As the car screeched and rounded a corner, Naina pulled the curtain to a close and wondered why she did not feel light after confessing everything to Sameer today. The stark sincerity in his eyes, his tenderness towards Diya, his anger, his admission of love had her grossly unsettled.

Had she really been mistaken all those years ago? The feeling resonated deep inside of her....Was he telling the truth? Had he truly loved her since then? 

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