***Trigger warning for mentions and descriptions of past drug abuse (marijuana, cocaine, and heroin), sexual behaviour (no smut), mentions of past overdose, and mentions of cravings.***

Start the song. It's We Only Attack Ourselves by Funeral Suits.

The girls were loading their stuff up into their cars today. Josh couldn't believe how quickly they'd found somewhere else to live. Debby had told him she'd called in a few favours because she felt like it was an emergency that they got out of there before they could trigger him again.

Josh had helped with the packing, not saying much throughout the process. He felt abandoned, but he knew that was unfounded. The girls were leaving for his sake, not because they didn't want him anymore.

He'd laughed when Ashley found a wig in their closet that she'd worn when the girls had first gotten together. It was long and dark brown. Back then, it had covered short coils of nearly black hair. She'd shaved her head after she'd ditched the wig, and she hadn't needed anyone to tell her that she still looked gorgeous without her long hair. She just knew.

Still, she wore the wig around while she loaded up her car because she knew it made Josh smile. Debby kept telling Josh they had a present for him that they were going to give him before they left. They giggled excitedly whenever they talked about it, yet he couldn't bring himself to be excited for something that he wouldn't even get to see until his girlfriends were leaving him here by himself. He felt better in the knowledge that Jordan was going to come stay with him later, but the idea of being without the two women still made him feel uneasy.

As soon as Debby's car was loaded, she became pretty much useless to Ashley. Instead of using her free time to help their girlfriend pack up the other car, she'd pushed Josh onto one of the couches and connected their lips. He didn't complain, letting Debby press him into the cushions as her soft tongue brushed against his, and her hands fisted in the front of his shirt. She kissed him so deeply that, for a moment, he forgot everything except the taste of her mouth. They were both panting when she broke the kiss to study his eyes, smiling after a moment and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

"You look more and more like the boy I fell in love with every single day," she told him warmly, making him smile shyly. "I remember when my dad first let you move in with him, and I started coming home from college every single weekend just so I could hang out with you."

Josh's smile widened. "And during the week, you texted me pretty much all day. I still have no idea how the fuck you got your degree. There's no way in hell you paid attention in any of your classes, plus you were tweaked out for your entire senior year."

His girlfriend laughed. "Yeah, well, somehow we survived all of that." She kissed his lips a couple times before giggling. "You were such a dweeb back then. All you ever did was play football, smoke weed, and watch porn in my old bedroom."

Josh laughed. "I was seventeen!" He defended himself.

Debby giggled, running her fingers through his freshly dyed purple hair as she pressed a kiss to his nose. "Still dweeby behaviour," she commented.

"Oh come on. I distinctly remember you coming home for a weekend, and we spent the whole time watching porn and making fun of it while we both smoked weed. You were just as much of a dweeb as I was," Josh pointed out, making Debby laugh again, this time looking a bit more embarrassed. "Not to mention, I spent the entirety of the next weekend doing a bunch of the shit from those videos with you, which was my intention all along, so who's the real dweeb?"

Ashley was carrying a box through the kitchen then, so she chimed in, "Debby was the dweeb because she was a sexy nineteen year old college girl who was sleeping with a high school boy who probably had Cheeto dust on his fingers and could only keep it up for like three minutes at a time."

"It was four minutes, thank you very much," Josh laughed out, making both of the girls laugh with him.

"Besides, he was precious. He was too anxious to even flirt with me, and the first time he saw me naked, he stared at me like I was an alien for like ten minutes. Also, he's the only guy I've ever dated who didn't try to sound cool in his reaction to receiving nudes from me. He didn't try to be all sexy or pervy or whatever. He would always say stuff like that I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in his entire life. He basically said everything that he would've said in person, and I loved that. He was just such a doll all the time," Debby told their girlfriend, smiling adoringly at Josh the whole time she spoke.

"Really? Because the last time I sent Josh nudes, he responded with, 'If given the chance, I would destroy that ass.' He's definitely devolved since high school," Ashley replied with a smirk as she set her box down on the table before coming over to sit on the couch too. Debby shifted to straddle one of Josh's thighs while Ashley took the other.

"That offer still stands," Josh assured her, grinning when she rolled her eyes.

"Well he's still cute about mine. You guys just have a weirder relationship than we do," Debby insisted.

Ashley snorted. "Yeah, princess. I'm absolutely positive that I, a lesbian, have a different relationship with our boyfriend than you do."

"I don't have to tell Ashley she's beautiful because she already knows that. The last thing she needs is for a man to tell her his opinion of her," Josh explained, making Ashley smile at him with a bit of pride. "I also know that she doesn't exactly want a picture of my dick in return for her nudes. Since that's about as much as I know about what she wants from me, I usually just text her whatever my first reaction to the picture was. In this case, her ass looked fine as hell, so I told her that."

His girlfriends seemed impressed by his deduction process. Especially Ashley. She actually seemed a little touched.

"It's kind of sweet that you put that much thought into what kind of reaction I would feel most comfortable with," she said a bit quietly.

Josh smiled, shrugging slightly. "It's like you said. Our relationship is different than my relationship with Debby. I can't expect you to feel comfortable with the same things Debby does, but I still respect you enough to figure out what you do like."

The girls were both beaming at him. "I like sober Josh. Sober Josh is an amazing boyfriend," Ashley decided.

Debby nodded. "Yep. Definitely the best version of Josh. I regret forgetting this information and fucking things up for so long."

"Yeah, we owe him big time," Ashley agreed. "I guess we could always just like...do the thing."

"What thing? Is my goodbye present an actionable thing?" Josh asked curiously.

"No, this is a different thing," Debby assured him. "A thing you like, but still not a thing that makes up for the bad thing. It still makes you smile though, so we still do the thing."

"What's the thing?" Josh asked again.

The girls glanced at each other, and Josh laughed when they both immediately pulled their shirts up, exposing their breasts as they smiled at him innocently. They laughed when Josh immediately shuffled beneath them before pulling his own shirt up. Their shirts were immediately dropped as they spread out on top of him, kissing all over his face and neck as they giggled happily.

"Sober Josh is a funny guy, huh?" Ashley asked with a smirk.

"To be fair, loaded Josh was also funny," Josh pointed out. "He just had to sleep for a few hours between jokes."

"I don't remember you ever being funny before," Ashley insisted as she grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Fuck you," Josh replied with a grin, pushing her away playfully.

The girls giggled. "No, fuck me instead," Debby whined, smiling widely as she pressed a kiss to his jaw.

Josh laughed when Ashley huffed. "Why can't you be like a girl and have the capacity to sleep with both of us without having to take a pathetically long break between the two of us?" She complained, burying her face against his neck instead of kissing him. "Also, how to fuck did you two turn me into someone who whines about wanting a dick inside of me? This is all so bizarre."

"You're devolving," Josh decided, making Ashley whine irritably.

"Men ruin everything," she grumbled.

"Amen," Josh replied, making both girls laugh.

Debby turned his head toward her and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before reminding him, "You know, not everyone is in such a matriarchal living situation as we are. You're soft and sweet, and that's why this works. Ashley gets to be the alpha of the house."

"Ashley has always been the alpha of the house, Debs. I have no authority here," Josh replied easily.

"Amen," Ashley agreed. "Your sole purpose here is to kill spiders, maybe kiss us a little, and to sit on my face when Debby is busy."

"I don't know if my sole purpose can be three separate things," Josh pointed out.

"It can. Alpha says so," Ashley insisted.

"Must be true then," Josh surrendered easily, making her laugh.

Debby kissed Josh one more time before telling him, "Jordan is gonna be here in an hour. We should probably go get your car from my dad's house. I'll go inside and get the keys so you don't have to go in." When Josh just stared blankly at the ceiling, she added softly, "I don't blame you for being afraid to go back, but all we need to do is get the car and come home. You don't have to go into the house at all. You're strong enough for this, and we'll be there with you the whole time. I promise."

"I'll stay outside with you," Ashley proposed gently. "We can just stand by the car while she gets the keys, and I'll ride home with you so you don't have to be alone in the car. We're here for you, Josh. We won't let you relapse in there again."

Josh closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pushing down the memory of that needle sinking into his skin before his consciousness wavered. He'd already overdosed there. It was a cursed location, tainted by one of the lowest points in his addiction history. Could he get a contact high from standing a few feet away from the living room floor he'd seized on as heroin burned away at his veins and ate away at his brain?

"Going back to get your car doesn't mean going back to using, Josh. It gives you some freedom back, and you've earned that. You've made so much progress, baby boy. You can do this," Debby reassured him confidently.

Ashley sighed. "We can go get it for you if you want, but I really think you need to do this. I think you need to be able to prove to yourself once and for all that you're capable of moving past this. And you are, honey. You really are. There's no doubt in my mind that you're strong enough for this."

"Promise you won't let me go inside?" Josh asked hopefully, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I swear on my life, baby boy," Debby promised, brushing his purple hair back softly off of his forehead. "We'll go in ten minutes, okay? We don't have to go right this second if you don't feel ready yet."

Josh nodded, hugging both of the girls close and allowing them to cover him like a security blanket. His eyes were still squeezed shut. "Tell me I'm gonna be okay," he whispered weakly.

"You'll be better than okay, Josh," Debby told him seriously. "You're going to be safe, happy, and healthy. You're going to be able to thrive now."

Josh smiled slightly, burying his face against Debby's bleach-burned hair and taking in the scent of cigarette smoke and green apple shampoo. He kissed her hair before turning his head to kiss Ashley's nose. Ashley smiled as she pressed a kiss to his nose too. He smiled back at her.

"Hey, I love you," he told her before looking at Debby to let her know that the sentiment was meant for both of them.

"I love you too," Ashley replied with a wide smile just as Debby sat up to pinch his cheeks and kiss his lips as she mumbled, "I love you too, baby boy."

Josh couldn't stop smiling, so he figured it was probably a good time to say, "We should go now before I psych myself out."

"That's my boy," Ashley said with a proud smile.

"I'll drive," Debby volunteered.

"I'll make out with Josh in the backseat so he doesn't get nervous," Ashley contributed.

"Deal," he agreed, high-fiving Debby and then Ashley before allowing them to climb off of the couch. "Help," he said, holding his hands out for the girls to pull him up too. They each grabbed an arm, giggling when he grunted as he stood.

"You sound like an old man," Debby teased.

"I am an old man," Josh informed her.

Ashley snickered. "Gross. Debby would date an old man."

"For sure," Josh agreed.

Debby scoffed. "I would not!"

"You would never have to work again," Josh pointed out.

Without hesitation, Debby said, "I'm breaking up with both of you right now. I need to find an old man."

Ashley huffed as Josh sighed. They looked at each other seriously. "Looks like it's just you and me then, baldy," Josh told Ashley.

She sighed. "I guess so. Walk me to the car then, only significant other."

"I'll do you one better, only girlfriend," Josh told her, making her laugh when he let her climb onto his back for a piggyback ride.

Debby rolled her eyes as she followed them out of the trailer, grabbing her keys off of the hook by the front door on her way out. "I think we can all agree at this point that you two are the dweebs."

"It's part of our charm," Josh agreed as he set Ashley down beside Debby's car. He laughed when Ashley immediately opened the door to the backseat and shoved him inside, climbing on top of him before closing the door. "Are you seriously going to make out with me for the entire drive?" He asked her amusedly.

Ashley snickered, settling atop his waist. "It's my only contribution for the day, so yeah. Definitely. Besides, I'm gonna miss your dumb furry face."

Josh laughed, pulling Ashley down into a kiss as he heard Debby climb into the driver's seat. She laughed as well, and Josh knew she was infatuated with having her two significant others love each other in the same way they loved her. He did too, honestly.

He loved tasting the menthol and cinnamon that clung to Ashley's tongue while listening to Debby sing along to Fleetwood Mac in the front seat. He loved being surrounded by support and affection and understanding and acceptance at all times.

It scared him more than he would admit that these two girls who had been his support system for over a month wouldn't be beside him when he woke up in the morning anymore. His girlfriends wouldn't be around to hold him and talk him through cravings and withdrawals anymore. After today, they would have each other, but he wouldn't have them.

He pulled Ashley closer, holding her cheeks as he deepened the kiss. She hummed appreciatively, her fingertips trailing softly down his sides. He didn't want this to be the last time he kissed her. He didn't want his last kiss with Debby to have been on the couch today. He wanted more of them. He wanted to kiss them every day for the rest of his life. He wanted to not be alone. Maybe he needed to be away from them for a while, but he couldn't be alone. Loneliness was the only gateway drug he had access to at the moment, and he knew exactly what would follow it.