***Trigger warnings for drug mentions, drug cravings, homophobia, mentions of vomit, domestic violence, and thoughts of relapse.***

Start the song. It's Humpty by Mitski.

Although Tyler had offered to drive to find Josh's dad, Josh had felt a lot better about driving his own car. He needed to be in control of something right now. He'd told Tyler that he could take over if necessary, but he was hoping he'd be able to keep it together long enough to get his dad, drop him off, and get back to Tyler's house.

Josh knew exactly where his dad would be if he was high. He'd had the same dealer for most of Josh's life, and the dealer was a close enough family friend to let Bill Dun crash on his couch six days a week when he was too high to get home. That being said, Josh's father still had more DUIs than he could count, and his license had been revoked when Josh was ten. It was a wonder his father wasn't in prison.

When Josh's car stopped in front of a worn down trailer a few blocks away from Tyler's, they climbed out of the car. Tyler seemed wary of the situation as a whole, but Josh had been coming to this place for so long that it didn't even phase him. What did worry him was facing the man who owned the grotesque trailer in front of them.

Still, Josh led Tyler up the stairs and knocked five times on the door, leaving a short break between the second and third knock. Tyler had edged slightly behind Josh, and Josh already felt guilty for bringing Tyler with him. He should've handled this on his own.

The door opened, revealing a dark-haired man with slightly bloodshot eyes. Josh barely had time to feel anxious before the man was pulling him into a hug.

"Joshua," he said cheerfully. "I haven't seen you in forever. Jesus Christ, boy. I seen your daddy more'n I seen you lately. You finally comin' by to get him off my damn couch?"

Tyler seemed surprised by this turn of events, but remained silent as Josh managed to escape from the man's arms and to lead Tyler into the trailer.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Ryan," Josh replied quietly, and he felt Tyler stiffen beside him.

"He's through here. How you been, boy? I heard you's been chasin' the dragon for a while now." Mr. Ryan chuckled, as if joking about Josh's addiction was going to make it any less awful. "Don't you give me that scared puppy dog look, kid. Debby already told me you two ain't together no more. I ain't mad about it. You got her clean. That's more'n I coulda asked of anybody. I'm sorry she ain't let you stay clean with her. I figure it's a habit. She been takin' care of me and her mama for years. She likes havin' somebody to look after."

"Yeah, well, she's still got one," Josh replied simply, following the babbling man through the trailer.

He held Tyler's hand firmly in his as they walked. Drugs and drug paraphernalia were everywhere. Josh's skin itched when he saw a bag of familiar brown powder. He couldn't tear his eyes off of it. Everything in him told him to stuff the bag into his pocket while Mr. Ryan wasn't looking. Just the thought of what was in that bag was making his blood rush faster.

"You can take that with you if you wanna," Mr. Ryan said when he caught Josh staring. "I owe you that much, don't I?" He chuckled, looking to Tyler. "I tell you what, kid. Joshua here been more like my kid than my daughter ever was. When his mama and daddy done kicked him out the first time, he came and stayed with me. That was when he was just drinking and smoking weed and poppin' pills every now and then. He was what? Fourteen?"

"Fifteen," Josh mumbled, tearing his eyes away from the bag of drugs and looking around for his father.

"That's right. Just started high school. I tell you what. The girls was crazy about this kid, and it only got better for him once he started playin' football. He was damn good too. Got a couple concussions, but he did okay. He was probably seventeen when he come and lived with me the second time. Debby was in her second year of college, and my lord, she came and stayed all summer with this kid. Took him to every college party she went to. They stopped comin' home after a while. A few months later I hear from Miss Laura that they's sendin' Joshua off to rehab. Can you believe that? Rehab. I ain't never sent my girl to rehab. It's all a bunch of shit. She got clean right here in this trailer, yes she did. She sat in the bathtub and puked all the crack outta her system. By the time Joshua done come home, she was just as clean. Had a girlfriend by then that couldn't tell up from down, but she was clean. Oh, there's Billy."

Josh should've warned Tyler how much Mr. Ryan rambled when he was high, but he'd been expecting the man to knock him out as soon as he crossed the threshold. If Mr. Ryan didn't though, Mr. Dun was probably going to.

A sick feeling welled up in Josh's stomach when he saw his dad. There was vomit on his shirt and white under his nose. His eyes were crazed, and he didn't even seem to see the people in the room.

"What's he on?" Josh asked anxiously.

Mr. Ryan laughed. "What ain't he on? Billy, your boy's here to get you. You awake in there?"

Josh's father's eyes eventually made their way over to him, turning cold instantly. "Ain't my son," he mumbled, scratching at the stubble on his cheek before looking back to Mr. Ryan. "Where's my son?"

"Bill, it's time to go," Josh said irritably, walking over to his dad and trying to help him stand up, only to be shoved backwards.

"Don't you touch me, you goddamn fucking junkie waste of space. I ain't gonna let no piece of shit drug addict touch me. You go get Jordan. He can take me home," Mr. Dun said coldly, sitting back against the couch before scratching at his arm, which was just as bad as Ashley's.

Mr. Ryan chuckled once again. "Don't you listen to him, boy. He just actin' a fool 'cause he's so shit-faced. Why don't you wait a bit 'til he sobers up. I'll make him some coffee."

"No, he needs to leave. He can be an asshole if he wants, but he needs to go home," Josh said, pulling his father off of the couch, making him stumble slightly and glare at his son.

"I done told you not to touch me," he snapped.

"You'll get over it," Josh replied simply. "Come on."

Mr. Dun turned to look at Tyler then, lifting his arms and checking his pockets. Tyler looked fearfully at Josh as the cracked out man searched him.

"Who you workin' for?" He asked Tyler harshly, shoving his chest.

"What?" Tyler asked nervously as he regained his balance.

"He's here with me. He isn't taking you to rehab or anything. He's with me," Josh explained, grabbing the back of his dad's shirt and pulling him away from Tyler.

A devious grin contorted Mr. Dun's crazed features. "Oh, I see. He's one of your faggot friends. I thought you was fixed once you started fuckin' Johnny's little girl, but you still just as nasty as you ever been. It ain't bad enough you got kicked off the football team for screwin' the quarterback, but now you gotta-"

"I got kicked off for leaving school for an entire year while I was on a cocaine binge, dumbass," Josh snapped as he dragged his father away from Tyler and toward the door. "And who gave me cocaine again?"

"Figured you'd have more fun with it than you did fuckin' every hole you could fit your dick into." Mr. Dun smirked at Tyler. "I bet you's just a cesspool of diseases you just been waitin' to shit out on Joshua. I bet he lets you too, don't he? Or is he too high to know he's in you? Piece of shit. Both of you. You and your filthy ass is gonna kill him 'fore the dope do. I should kill you 'fore you kill Joshua. You just as nasty and despicable as-"

Mr. Dun shut up really quick when Josh punched him hard across the face, knocking him out cold. It was too late though. Tyler was shaking, tears filling his eyes as he stumbled along behind Josh, who was now literally dragging his father along. Tyler was too scared to help him carry his dad out, and Josh didn't blame him.

"Sorry, Ty," Josh said as he dragged his father down the stairs, ignoring the cheerful farewell Mr. Ryan shouted to them.

Tyler stumbled along down the stairs, looking numb as Josh shoved his dad into the backseat and closed the door. Josh's whole body was shaking, and he couldn't stop thinking about the heroin that had been offered to him inside of the trailer. It took all of his strength to help Tyler into the passenger seat and to buckle him up before kissing his forehead protectively and closing his door for him. He couldn't focus as he climbed into the driver's seat, feeling like he was going to throw up. It didn't matter though. He had to get his dad away from Tyler, so he had to get his dad home.

Josh held Tyler's trembling hand in his as he drove, telling him over and over again that everything was going to be okay. Tyler was silent though, looking fearfully over his shoulder at the unconscious man in the backseat every couple seconds.

"I won't let him hurt you," Josh promised Tyler over and over.

When Josh stopped in front of his childhood home, Jordan was already on the porch. He ran down the steps to Josh's car, pulling the back door open while Josh was still getting out.

"Is he dead?" Jordan asked fearfully.

"Just unconscious. I had to knock him out to get him in the car," Josh explained as he helped his little brother drag the unconscious man out onto the lawn. He was soaked in vomit, and it was clear he wasn't in good shape right now.

Tyler trailed behind them uncertainly, still looking like he was in shock. As soon as they'd dragged Mr. Dun into the trailer, Josh's mom was standing up from the couch and going straight to Tyler, leading him into the living room and sitting him down.

"You just wait here, okay, honey? I'll help you in just a second," she told him gently, brushing his hair back with her fingers before going over to her sons.

She closed the front door behind them as they spread her husband out on the kitchen floor. Abbie stood anxiously in the hallway as Josh and Jordan patted their father down to make sure he didn't have any drugs or weapons on him.

"Is he dead, Jordan?" She asked quietly.

"No, just asleep," he replied distractedly as he pulled a small bag of pills out of his father's jeans and tossed it into the sink.

Abbie tentatively sat down next to Josh as he pulled his dad's pocketknife out of his coat pocket and slid it across the floor and out of reach. It was Abbie who first noticed when their father started to come to again.

"Daddy?" She asked quietly.

She screamed when she was yanked down by her hair to look their dad in the eye. "What you doin' in my pockets? You stealin' from me? Don't you fuckin' dare try to take things from me! You ain't Joshua. You ain't gonna-"

Josh punched his father again, knocking him out immediately. He untangled his father's hand from Abbie's hair and pulled her into his lap as he kept searching his dad. She sobbed against his shoulder, her entire body trembling.

"You're okay," Josh assured her as he checked the last of his father's pockets and found it to be empty. He pulled Abbie into a hug then, rocking her gently as she sobbed loudly. "It's okay, Abbie. He won't hurt you. We won't let him. I promise."

Abbie was shaking as she wept uncontrollably and clung to Josh. "You're going to leave, and he's going to do this again," she sobbed out. "As soon as he wakes up, he's gonna hurt someone."

Josh had never felt so helpless in his life, and his fear was only making him crave the nip of a needle more. He hugged Abbie tightly again before shifting her into Jordan's lap. She was nearly screaming from fear as she clung to Jordan, who was clearly trying as hard as he could not to cry.

"He won't hurt any of you," Josh insisted, hooking his hands beneath his father's armpits and dragging him down the hall.

"What are you planning to do exactly?" Josh's mother called from where she was sitting on the couch with Tyler, rubbing his back gently.

Josh shook his head as he dragged his father into the bathroom and dropped him unceremoniously into the empty bathtub. "He's gonna detox the same way Debby did."

He left the bathroom quickly, going to the kitchen sink and grabbing a toolbox out from under it. He carried it over the the bathroom door before carefully unscrewing the doorknob.

"What do we do?" Jordan asked Josh anxiously.

Josh shook his head, trying to complete his task before his father woke up again. "Fill some water bottles up for him and bring them in here. Bring him a loaf of bread or something too."

"Are you planning on locking him in there? How are you going to do that?" Their mother asked, looking uneasy.

Josh turned the doorknob around so the lock was on the outside of the door. "Just like this," he replied as he started screwing the doorknob back on.

Jordan and Abbie brought four bottles of water and a loaf of bread into the bathroom, setting them on the floor before scurrying out of the room. Just as their father began to stir, Josh closed the door and locked it. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and propped it underneath the doorknob as well.

He took a deep breath then before turning to face Jordan. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket before fishing out all of the cash in it and handing it to his little brother.

"Take this for your school thing," Josh said distractedly.

Jordan tried to hand it back to him. "Josh, you can't just give me all of your money."

"There's enough in there for me to OD tonight, and I know I will if I can afford to. Take the money. Seriously. I need you to," Josh explained shakily.

Jordan nodded, shoving the money into his pocket before hugging Josh tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry. Please don't relapse tonight. I shouldn't have called you. You're doing such a good job getting clean, and I'm so proud of you. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"I'll be okay," Josh promised, even though he wasn't sure if he could keep that promise. "I just need to get Tyler home to somewhere safe. You look out for mom and Abbie, okay? Don't let Bill out for a couple days. Don't let him manipulate you into letting him out either. He has everything he needs in there. Anything else he tries to convince you he needs is just a ploy so he can get drugs. Got it?"

Jordan nodded quickly. Josh offered Jordan a strained smile and a brief hug before he was walking over to his boyfriend, who still hadn't said a word.

"Let's get you home, okay?" He suggested softly.

Tyler nodded, still remaining silent. He let Josh help him up from the couch, wrapping him up in a hug that lasted for about thirty seconds. He held Tyler tight, letting him catch his breath.

"You're safe," Josh promised Tyler, who nodded again.

Josh's mother kissed both of the boys on their foreheads before letting them leave the trailer. The drive home was silent. Tyler didn't say a word until Josh had already helped him climb into bed and tucked him in. He knew how these kinds of things worked, so he shoved his stuff back into the garbage bag he'd been using as a suitcase. That was what brought Tyler out of his haze.

"You're leaving?" Tyler asked anxiously, climbing out of bed immediately.

"I promised Brendon I'd leave if I ever hurt you," Josh explained, no matter how much his heart ached when Tyler wrapped his arms around him and held him close. "I'll just go stay with Hayley."

"Please don't," Tyler whispered weakly. "Let me take care of you. Don't leave. Josh, let me help. We're okay. You didn't hurt me. We're okay. I'm just scared. It isn't your fault. You were amazing tonight, and I'm so proud of you. Please stay. We need each other right now."

Josh hesitated before saying to Tyler, "Tyler, I'm almost completely sure that I'm about to relapse right now. Trust me. You don't want to be here for this." He started crying somewhere during those words, but Tyler was holding him before he'd even noticed.

"No, you aren't. Josh, you can do this. I'll stay up all night with you if you need me to. You can make it through this. I know you can. We'll do it together," Tyler insisted.

Josh buried his face against Tyler's chest. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to feel this. Ty, it's feels like I'm dying. I don't know what to do."

He let Tyler pick him up and carry him over to the bed. Tyler set him down gently before helping him out of his shoes and jeans and tucking him in. He stripped down too before climbing in next to Josh and holding him close.

"Just cry for now, okay? Cry as much as you need to. You can even scream if you need to. Just let it all out, and I'll be right here. One second at a time, okay? We're going to do this one second at a time," Tyler soothed carefully.

Josh nodded, burrowing in against Tyler's chest and weeping uncontrollably, sobbing and screaming into Tyler's shirt. Tyler held him close the whole time, never once telling him to quiet down or relax. He let Josh cry out all of his energy until he didn't have the ability to climb out of this bed anymore. Tyler didn't let go of him then either. The cravings didn't pass, but at least he wasn't fighting them alone this time.