Start the song. It's The Kids Don't Wanna Come Home by Declan McKenna.
***trigger warning for mentions of Josh's self harm and seizure as well as some homophobia***

Tyler got two hours of sleep last night. Two. And he couldn't even complain because Josh hadn't gotten any. He held Josh all night (apart from the time he spent rubbing Josh's back while he threw up), and he made sure Josh didn't have to be alone. When Josh needed to go outside, Tyler went outside. When Josh needed to cry, Tyler reassured him and held him close. When Josh's muscles all contracted painfully, making his legs spasm and kick Tyler, Tyler assured him that he had nothing to apologize for. He was taking care of Josh, just like he'd promised.

Hayley checked on Josh every hour and constantly asked Tyler if he needed her to keep an eye on Josh while he slept for a while, but Tyler couldn't leave Josh after seeing him seizing in the bathtub. It was a nice offer, but he needed to be with Josh just as much as Josh needed to be with him, so he got two hours of sleep last night.

That was why Tyler almost fell asleep in class today. He was sitting through a biology lecture when his eyelids grew heavy, and he started to drift off. It happened more than once, but he fought it every time. The notes he took were shit. Somehow, he'd managed to spell "cell" wrong in four different ways on one page: sal, cel, sel, sell. He was exhausted, but he couldn't and wouldn't complain.

Tyler wasn't surprised when his professor asked him to follow her to her office after class. He did so wordlessly, almost forgetting his backpack until his professor prompted him to grab it. If he wasn't so exhausted, he'd be blushing with embarrassment. He didn't have the energy to be self-conscious though, so he just picked it up and followed her.

At first, Dr. Simons just had him sit in the arm chair in her tiny office while she made a pot of coffee. When she came back into the room from filling the pot up with water, he was scared awake by the opening of the door. She chuckled.

"Rough night?" She asked in a kind voice.

Tyler chuckled tiredly. "That's one way to put it."

"You've never fallen asleep in my class before. You're a hard worker and an amazing student. I'm a little worried. Is everything okay?" His professor inquired softly.

No. Everything was not okay. Josh had relapsed. He was going through withdrawals. He had a seizure. Tyler was scared. He hadn't showered in a couple days. He hadn't talked to his mom in weeks. Last night at the library had been the first time Tyler had done homework all week. Nothing was okay.

Tyler shrugged instead of responding, picking at what was left of the purple nail polish Sarah had put on his fingers over a week ago. There was practically nothing left to pick at, but focusing on it kept him awake.

"Tyler, are you aware that there's blood on your shirt?" His professor pressed uncertainty.

It wasn't until she said that that Tyler realized he was still wearing his clothes from the night before. Josh had been there when he'd gotten ready this morning, but he was probably too out of it from pain to even notice. He'd just kissed Tyler goodbye and told him not to come back if he was too busy. Tyler would be going back anyways.

"It's not my blood. Don't worry," Tyler said tiredly, trying not to think of how Josh had torn his flesh away before his seizure.

He hadn't realized Josh had gotten any blood on him, but it made sense. He'd carried Josh out of the bathroom and shared a bed with him all night. They hadn't exactly been on opposite sides of the bed or anything. They'd clung to each other like life preservers.

His words did little to ease his professor's concerns. "Whose blood is it, Tyler?" Her forehead was creased in a worried line.

"My boyfriend's," Tyler replied tiredly. He caught himself after a second though. "Not my boyfriend. My friend. We're not...it's not like that. We're friends."

She looked a little less comfortable with that information, but that was to be expected in Oklahoma. "And why was your...friend bleeding?"

Tyler wiped at his eyes tiredly, not at all in the mood to deal with this. "He had a panic attack last night and started scratching his arm. He tore it up a little."

Homophobia forgotten, she switched back into professional mode. "A panic attack? I'm sorry to hear that. Is he doing better today?"

"No. He's recovering from a seizure today," Tyler replied, glancing at a poster of a dog on her wall. The dog was in a bathtub. It was a cute dog, but he couldn't believe she'd put that in her office. God, he needed a nap.

"Oh my. Is he in the hospital?" She asked with wide eyes.

Tyler shook his head. "No, he's in bed. Can I go please?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your grade, Tyler. This past couple weeks, your attendance has been low in my class, and you haven't been turning in your assignments on time. That's out of character for you. I hope you aren't letting your...um...friend's problems become yours," she said, clearly well aware that she was walking on eggshells.

"I won't miss anymore class. Can I go?" Tyler said, picking up his backpack.

"Tyler, if your friend is-"

"Look, he's going through heroin withdrawals and if he has another seizure while I'm not there because you want to talk to me about attendance, I'm not going to be okay with that. I have to go," Tyler told her in a much less polite tone, his stress and lack of sleep robbing him of his kind disposition.

His professor's eyes widened. "How do you expect to get an education and better your life if you're hanging out with heroin addicts?" She asked suddenly, looking at him like he was an idiot.

"I've been around heroin addicts for the majority of my life, and I'm still going to college. I'm sure I'll manage," Tyler snapped.

He was just going to leave when she said, "You both better hope he doesn't get AIDS with the characteristics he has."

Tyler froze for a second before glaring at his professor. "What makes you think he has AIDS? The drugs or being around me?"

She fell silent, and he knew what she wanted to say. Josh was just as much at risk of AIDS and HIV when he stuck a needle in his arm as he was when he kissed a gay kid. It obviously wasn't true, but facts were flexible in Oklahoma if it suited a conservative agenda.

"You're a disgusting human being," Tyler told her simply before leaving her office.

It took all of his self control not to run down the hall and out to his car. He forced himself to walk with confidence he didn't have though, and he didn't cry until he got to Hayley's house.

---

Josh was more than a little bit shocked when an incredibly disheveled Tyler came into Hayley's bedroom. His clothes were bloody and wrinkled, there were bags under his eyes, and he burst into tears as soon as he closed the door. Unsure of what else to do, Josh just opened his arms and let Tyler climb onto the bed and into them. He rubbed Tyler's back softly while he sobbed against Josh's bare chest.

"Hey, what happened?" Josh asked gently.

Tyler sobbed again. "I hate Oklahoma," he replied simply.

Josh nodded slowly before pressing a lingering kiss to the top of Tyler's head. "You won't be stuck here much longer. Don't worry. You'll be in Texas before you know it."

"I don't want to go to Texas either," Tyler whimpered out, making Josh's anxiety spike slightly.

"Where do you wanna go instead then?" Josh asked worriedly. He wasn't letting Tyler drop out of school. He just wasn't.

Tyler shook his head and let out another sob. "Somewhere better. I don't know. I hate this place."

Josh sighed. "Look at me." Tyler didn't look up, so Josh softened his voice even more. He couldn't let Tyler know he was worried. "Hey. Come on, babe. Look at me." Tyler's warm eyes were filled to the brim with anguish when they met Josh's. Josh pecked his lips before holding his cheeks and quietly saying, "Wherever you wanna go, I'll support you, but you can't give up on this. You've worked too hard and you're too smart. You ain't gonna be trailer trash forever, right?"

Tyler sniffled, but he still nodded. He rested his forehead against Josh's then and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. It trembled, just like his thin frame. Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist.

"My professor thought I had AIDS just because I'm gay," Tyler whispered.

Josh's already tense body stiffened as he processed that. Then he was pissed. "Are you fucking kidding me? Did they just ask you if you had it or what? How the hell-"

"Sometimes I hate being gay so much," Tyler whispered then, and his voice cracked. Then he was crying again.

Josh shushed him, drawing him in close and practically cradling him as he let him cry. He sat up despite the pain in his bones so he could hold Tyler better. Tyler melted into the comfort, sobbing against Josh's shoulder.

"Hey, this isn't because you're gay. This isn't because of you. This isn't your fault in any way. Your professor is a piece of shit, and Oklahoma runs on shitheads like them. If you weren't living here, they probably wouldn't have said that. It's where you live and the idiots that live here that made that happen. You're still perfect. They're in the wrong," Josh assured him gently. He also added, "I'm so glad you're gay. Kissing you makes everything better. I couldn't do that if you were straight."

Finally, Tyler laughed weakly. "Yeah, I'd miss kissing you."

Josh chuckled. He was in way too much pain to be sitting right now, and he couldn't believe Tyler wasn't getting grossed out by how much he was sweating. Nothing was going to make him be the first to pull away though. Not from Tyler. Not from this boy.

"I love you," Josh reminded Tyler, "and in a gloriously gay way."

Tyler laughed, easing Josh back down into a reclining position before resting his head on Josh's chest. "I love you too, in an equally gay way."

"If I wasn't a deadbeat heroin addict, I'd probably ask you to be my boyfriend, but I'm not gonna do that to you," Josh admitted, closing his eyes although he knew sleep wouldn't come.

"Josh?" Tyler asked tiredly.

"Yeah?" Josh asked, tracing Tyler's spine with his fingertips.

"I think we already accidentally became boyfriends. We've got all of the essentials covered except for the label," Tyler pointed out.

Josh smiled at the accuracy of the statement. It was absolutely true. Tyler and Josh were so domestic it was embarrassing, and they weren't afraid to do anything at all associated with relationships. He sighed, smoothing his palm up Tyler's back.

"Well, for the record, you can do better," Josh pointed out as well.

Tyler giggled against his chest. "So can you."

"You're so out of my league, man. Why the hell are you doing this to yourself?" Josh yawned out.

Tyler laughed again. "Because I love you, and I know you're going to get better."

"And you'll stick around when I do?" Josh asked, needing to her Tyler say it one more time.

"Until you're absolutely sick of me," Tyler confirmed.

"Not possible. I love when you're around. It makes my whole life better," Josh told him seriously.

Tyler blushed, tilting his head up to kiss Josh softly on the lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Josh replied, punctuating his words with a series of kisses that he scattered across Tyler's face. Tyler traced Josh's jawline with his fingertips lightly when the older man closed his eyes again. "I think I might be able to sleep now," Josh whispered.

"Okay," Tyler whispered back, making Josh smile when he ran his fingers through the tangles of his sweaty curls. "Thank you."

"For what?" Josh mumbled, already being pulled down into his exhaustion.

He felt Tyler kiss his nose. "Making things better. Being cute. I don't know. You do more than you realize."

Josh smiled slightly, but he was pulled down into sleep before he could respond. He just slept, dreaming of absolutely nothing with his arms wrapped around the only life preserver he could count on to keep his head above water. He just had to make sure he didn't pull his saviour down with him. Not Tyler. Not this boy.