Start the song. It's I Saw Water by Tigers Jaw.

It was actually kind of a miracle that Josh still had a job after practically falling off the grid for a week. Still, his boss texted him this morning that he was supposed to come in today. He'd had to fight for Hayley and Tyler to let him go, but ultimately, he'd been working in this condition for months, so no one really could claim that he couldn't do this.

Finally, forty-five minutes before he needed to be at work, Tyler agreed to drop him off at his car and to let him go. He had classes anyways. The compromise was that Josh had to either go with Hayley tonight when she went to work or go with Tyler when he went to the library. He wasn't allowed to be home alone until they were certain he wasn't going to have a seizure or another relapse. Since going to a sleazy Oklahoma night club one day after relapse sounded like Josh's worst nightmare, he decided to go with Tyler.

While Josh was getting ready for work, still mostly in bliss compared to the withdrawals he'd gone through last week, Tyler kept an eye on him. It was weird to know he was essentially being watched by a babysitter but not really minding. Maybe that was just because he was smoking so much though.

Pretty early on in Josh's heroin experience, Ashley had taught him a few tips for fighting cravings when necessary. Most were almost as destructive as the drug itself, others were useless, and some just worked. There were only a few that were readily available to Josh at the moment, and no one was really trying to stop him from using them.

Josh had been chain-smoking all morning. He wasn't even sure where he'd put his lighter, but it didn't matter. He lit the first one with it and every other cigarette since had been ignited with the embers of another. His lungs were still too numb to ache, so everything was fine.

"Can I ask an annoying question?" Tyler asked from where he was sitting on Hayley's bed while Josh put on his uniform.

"I guess," Josh replied, setting his cigarette down in the ash tray on Hayley's vanity so he could button his shirt.

Tyler was practically surrounded by homework from classes he'd missed. Josh felt guilty whenever he looked at it, knowing full well that skipping class wasn't something Tyler would ever do if he wasn't trying to help Josh. The younger man closed his book and set it down on the bed before looking at Josh inquisitively.

"Are you shifting your heroin addiction over to your cigarette addiction so you don't have to give as much up?" He asked Josh warily.

Josh's hands stilled above the final button on his shirt. He glanced at Tyler. He'd never thought about it like that. Cigarettes didn't even give him a tiny trace of the high heroin did, so it never seemed like an either/or situation. He couldn't trade heroin for cigarettes. Heroin was the only thing keeping him upright most days, and cigarettes only slightly soothed the burn.

"I don't think so," Josh replied uncertainly, buttoning the final button before picking up the cigarette again. "I'll get better stuff when I get to work. I just-"

"Better stuff for what?" Tyler asked, instantly looking nervous, and Josh immediately realized his mistake.

"No, not that. I'm not gonna get high. I swear. I mean stuff that helps me with the cravings," Josh explained. When Tyler still looked concerned, he sighed and sat on the bed next to the younger man. "There are things that distract you from wanting to shoot up. They're not as helpful as taking a different drug or whatever, but they can help. When I first started, I used to have to chew those hard candy mints all the time because something about the taste and texture distracted my brain."

"Mints?" Tyler asked curiously.

Josh nodded, giving in and stubbing out his cigarette blunt on the bottom of his shoe before dropping it in the wastepaper basket by the bed. He laid down with his head in Tyler's lap, looking up at him tiredly.

"Whatever stops the cravings, right?" He replied.

He smiled when Tyler started to play with his hair as he went back to working on math homework. "Right. Whatever helps you get healthy without hurting you is fine by me."

That statement made Josh a little bit worried. "If I try to quit dope and smoking at the same time, the withdrawals will definitely kill me, Ty."

Tyler's eyes widened as he quickly looked to Josh. "Shit. That's not what I meant. I just meant anything but drugs. I mean, I guess cigarettes are a drug too, but...." His cheeks were pink as he trailed off. "Sorry."

It was impossible to be annoyed by Tyler, so Josh forgave him instantly. Brendon had been right about Tyler. He was a cherub in overalls. It didn't seem like there was a single thing about him that Josh didn't like.

"I'll forgive you if you keep playing with my hair," Josh told him as he closed his eyes. "But don't let me sleep through my shift if I fall asleep. I need this job if I wanna get better."

Gentle fingers continued to soothe through Josh's hair, making him smile. By tonight, he'd be in unbearable pain again, but for now, he had Tyler. His body relaxed as he wrapped his arms around Tyler's thigh.

"Another annoying question?" Tyler requested, making Josh sigh.

"One more," Josh permitted.

The fingers in Josh's hair trailed all the way down his spine to his lower back before easing their way back up to twist in his hair again. Everything about Tyler's touch was soothing to Josh. He felt safe right now.

"Ashley said you and Debby got back together yesterday, and um, you guys got high together and had sex and stuff, so I was wondering if the two of you were-"

That was news to Josh. He didn't really remember much of yesterday. After Debby had brought him that needle, everything was a blur. He wasn't surprised that he'd do something like that when he was high, but he was surprised Ashley had allowed it. She hadn't wanted him to touch Debby at all, yet she hadn't stopped him from sleeping with her? Maybe Ashley had been high enough to sleep wth them too though. Josh had no idea. He didn't remember. All he knew was that he couldn't go back there ever again for any reason. He wasn't strong enough.

"I don't ever want to see her again," Josh said suddenly, too distracted by the anxiety building in his stomach to realize he'd interrupted Tyler.

With just as much patience and compassion as always, Tyler nodded and soothed his fingers through Josh's hair once again. "I'm proud of you," he told Josh gently, making his eyes sting with tears.

"Don't be," Josh murmured as he hugged Tyler's leg a bit tighter. "I fucked up."

"And you're doing everything you can to make up for it. Lots of people would've given up by now, but you're being so strong. You can forgive yourself for relapsing. That's normal. It's okay. You learned from it, and now you're one step closer to getting clean," Tyler told him gently. "One day at a time."

Josh nodded before looking up to meet Tyler's eyes. The younger man brushed his hair out of his eyes for him, smiling warmly.

"Thank you," Josh said quietly.

"No problem," Tyler assured him. "Can I drive you to work? Hayley and I can go get your car before she goes to work. That way you don't have to go back there, and I get to spend more time with you."

"Okay," Josh agreed, picking at a loose string on Tyler's jeans.

"Let's go then," Tyler said gently as he helped Josh to sit up. "Are you sure you can handle working?"

"I'm sure," Josh told him as he climbed off of the bed, helping Tyler up as well.

"I can always study here if you don't feel good enough to go to the library," Tyler insisted as he pulled his shoes on.

Josh shook his head. "No, you've already put your education on the back burner for me too much. I'll be okay to go with you."

He was relieved that Tyler took his hand as he led him out of the bedroom. It was nice to have something to ground him while he was still coming down. It was even better to have that thing grounding him be Tyler.

Hayley was sitting on the couch with Pancake when they came into the living room. Hayley smiled when she saw him, but he had to force himself not to be ashamed of himself around her. She'd kicked this habit already and let him stay here to do the same. He'd run off and gotten fucked up though, and she'd been the one to have to wash away the vomit and tears when he came back.

"Look at my cute husband all ready for work!" She cooed, making him laugh. "Get over here and say goodbye to our daughter, mister."

The smile on Josh's face didn't fade as he released Tyler's hand and sat down next to Hayley, lifting Pancake into his own lap. She mewed at him in dissent for a moment, but calmed when he set her down on his thighs. She pawed at him until he pet her before purring and plopping down onto her side.

"I missed her," Josh said quietly as he stroked her soft fur.

"She missed you too. She slept on your pillow," Hayley informed him with a smile. She kissed his cheek then before taking Pancake back. "Have a good day at work, okay? Don't overwork yourself. You're gonna start having withdrawals by tonight at least, so don't be afraid to tell us when things start getting rough. Okay?"

"Okay," Josh responded, kissing the top of Pancake's head before pressing a quick kiss to Hayley's lips as well. "Call me if any weirdos try to hit on you."

"You know I will. That asshole across the street won't even look at me now that he knows you live here," Hayley told him, making him smile.

"Good. I'll see you later," he told her as he stood up, grabbing Tyler's hand as soon as he could reach it.

"Have a good day, little kitten," Hayley told him cheerfully.

He couldn't help but smile at her as he led Tyler out of the apartment. As soon as the door closed, Tyler dropped his hand and scooped him up, making him laugh as he was carried down the stairs. Tyler smiled at that.

"You know what your problem is?" Tyler asked him.

"You mean apart from heroin?" Josh asked, making Tyler roll his eyes.

"Your problem is that you're fucking adorable, so everyone loves you, but you don't love yourself because you have no idea how precious you are," Tyler told him as if it was so simple.

"I'm not precious actually," Josh informed Tyler as he was carried out to the car.

Much to his surprise, Tyler laughed. "Josh, your friends call you baby and little kitten. You're obviously precious."

"To be fair, I call my friends daddy and my wife," Josh pointed out.

It made him smile even more when Tyler laughed again. "Yeah, well, I am your sugar daddy, and you have a child with Hayley now. Plus you're a cuddly little guy and kiss everybody, and that's cute too."

"Yeah, I've got no boundaries," Josh agreed. Then, still having too much dope in his system to realize what he was saying, Josh told Tyler, "I like kissing you the most though. I would kiss you all the time if I could."

He smiled lazily when Tyler chuckled. "Yeah, well, you're the only one of my friends I kiss, so clearly you're pretty special. You can kiss me whenever you want."

Tyler set him down next to the car, unlocking it and opening Josh's door for him. He chuckled against Josh's lips when he immediately grabbed the front of Tyler's shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. It was slow, mostly because that was the best Josh could do in this state, but it still made Josh feel a million times safer when Tyler kissed him back. Tyler was blushing when the kiss broke.

"You said whenever I want," Josh reminded him. "That's pretty much always."

Tyler was still blushing when Josh got into the car, smiling at Tyler as he walked around to the driver's seat. As soon as he sat down, Josh pulled him in again and peppered kisses all over his face. Tyler laughed fully at that.

"Josh, you're gonna be late for work," Tyler told him through what could only be described as a giggle.

Josh pecked Tyler's lips one more time before releasing Tyler and relaxing in his seat. "Okay. I promise I'll be good."

"I know you will. Put your seatbelt on," Tyler said with a grin as he pulled his own on and turned on the car.

Pulling on his seatbelt, Josh smiled back at Tyler. "You're my best friend," Josh told him honestly.

"Am I doing a good job at that?" Tyler asked, taking Josh's hand over the center console as he drove.

"You're the best best friend I've ever had," Josh assured him as he looked out of the window. "You're one of the only people I know I can trust. You wouldn't ever trick me into doing drugs or make me feel like I had to hurt myself to protect you. You just look out for me. That's-I love that. I love you." When Tyler was silent for a second, Josh looked at him curiously. "Is that a boundaries thing I'm not supposed to say?"

Tyler shook his head, squeezing Josh's hand before bringing it up to his lips and kissing the back of it. "Not at all. I just...I love you too, and I'm really proud of you for realizing you deserve friends who love you enough to want you to be safe and healthy. I promise I'll do everything I can to help you get there, okay?"

The words comforted Josh more than he was prepared for them to. Words failed him, so he just held Tyler's hand tightly and let himself soak in whatever love Tyler had to give him. Not many people were offering that to him anymore, yet somehow, someone as incredible as Tyler was giving him a chance at being human again. Maybe there were no words for that feeling.

Josh almost regretted his decision to go to work when Tyler pulled up in front of the building Josh pointed out to him. He didn't want to stand around in a gross and rarely visited gas station when he could be spending time with Tyler or Hayley or Pancake. Having a job would help him get clean and stay clean though, so he couldn't stay home no matter how badly he wanted to.

When the car came to a stop outside of the gas station, Tyler smiled supportively at Josh. "Get in there, chew some mints, and remember that I'll be here to pick you up as soon as your shift ends."

Josh sighed as he looked out of the windshield at the gas station. "When I get clean, I'm quitting this job and doing tattoos again," he decided.

"You should. You're too talented of a tattoo artist to be working here when you don't want to be," Tyler agreed.

"You're the first person I'll tattoo when I'm sober enough," Josh promised Tyler.

It didn't feel condescending or like Tyler was trying to distract him from that goal when he kissed Josh. The kiss was a bit too energetic for Josh to keep up with at the moment, but he still smiled into it nonetheless. Tyler smiled at him when he sat back though.

"I can't wait," Tyler told him through a wide smile.

Josh smiled back. "Hopefully I'll get my shit together, and you won't have to."

"You will get there. You just have to make it through today first," Tyler assured him. "Have a good day, okay? We'll go get your car before I go to class, and I'll pick you up in a few hours."

"Okay," Josh agreed, letting Tyler kiss his forehead before climbing out of the car. "And Ty?" Josh asked as he pulled his sleeves down further.

"Yeah?" Tyler asked kindly.

"You're precious too," Josh told him before closing the car door.

Tyler was smiling again, and it felt good to know that despite everything that was wrong with him, he could still make Tyler smile. He reminded himself of that over and over again as he went about his day, chewing mints throughout his entire shift.

Maybe it was a stupid one, but Tyler had helped Josh find his reason to get better. He wanted to do something he was proud of with his life, and he couldn't do that if he was shooting up in a run-down trailer. He had to get clean so he could tattoo again and be surrounded by people who loved him and wanted the best for him. He couldn't let himself relapse again. Things had to get better. They just had to.