Wait to start the song and look for trigger warnings.

It was three in the morning, and Josh was completely wrapped up in a snoring Tyler when he got the text. He stared at it anxiously, trying to fight the urge to respond or to do something at all. All it said was "911," and it was from Ashley. Something was wrong if she was texting him for help. Something was very very wrong.

Josh looked at Tyler again. He was snoring so peacefully, smiling slightly in his sleep. Even out of consciousness, his hand would occasionally start rubbing Josh's back gently. He made Josh feel safe. He made Josh feel like getting better was possible. He made Josh feel a million times more guilty about disentangling their limbs and getting dressed quickly before leaving Tyler's trailer for his own. Anxiety and guilt were eating away at Josh as he drove back to the one place on Earth he knew he definitely shouldn't go.

When Josh parked outside of his former home, he took only a second to text Tyler and tell him he'd be back in a bit before walking across the dead lawn and up the two concrete steps that led to the front door. He didn't knock before opening it. Both of the girls' cars were there, but he'd already signed his death sentence by coming back anyways.

It killed him how familiar the scene before him was when he came in. Ashley was trying to hold down a sobbing Debby, whose pupils were gigantic as her wide fearful eyes looked right through her girlfriend. It was obvious what was happening here. For the first time in over a year, Debby had relapsed too.

Start the song. It's Stomach It by Crywolf and EDEN.
***Trigger warning for side effects of cocaine and thoughts of relapse.***

"Debby, you need to breathe. It's okay. Everything's okay," Ashley tried to say fearfully, but it wouldn't work. Ashley hadn't known Debby when she was a junkie like them. She didn't know this Debby. Josh did though.

He didn't have it in himself to hesitate as he sat down next to Ashley, pulling Debby into his lap immediately. She continued to sob, raking her nails down her already raw and bleeding arms as she did so.

"Get them off of me! Josh, get the bugs off!" She sobbed out, and Josh understood the feeling. He soothed his palms along her ravaged arms, forcing himself not to look at the carnage she'd left behind on her usually soft skin.

"There's no bugs, Debby. You got them off already," he told her gently.

Her nails scraped down her forearms again, so he tangled their fingers together. "I can feel them," she whimpered out.

"I know, but they're gone. Should we check? Let's wash them off," he told her with a false calm as he picked her up.

Debby nodded, clinging to him as he carried her to the bathroom. "Get them off, Josh. They're biting me. I want them to go away. Please, Josh," she whimpered out.

Ashley didn't seem too keen on Josh undressing her girlfriend, but she didn't say anything. She just glared at him as he set Debby down on the counter and helped her out of her clothes gently. Everything about this was familiar, which was torturously comforting. He wanted to touch every inch of skin he uncovered and never leave her again. He'd missed his baby girl so much, but he couldn't take her back. He tried to remind himself of the boy he'd been sleeping next to before the text had come. Tyler wasn't his boyfriend or anything like that, but he was someone Josh was safe around. Josh needed someone like Tyler, not Debby.

"Here, I'm gonna fill the tub, but this should keep the bugs away while I do that, okay?" Josh told Debby carefully, pulling his shirt over his head and putting it on her instead.

Debby clung to his shirt, pulling the collar up to her nose and inhaling deeply. Her head lolled to the side as she distracted herself with his shirt-smelling it, feeling the material, hugging her bleeding arms around her chest. Josh tried to focus on filling the tub with water that was a little too hot, which would convince Debby that the bugs were being killed.

"Baby boy, are they gonna go away?" She asked in barely more than a whisper.

He glanced at her as he turned off the faucet. The sound of her pet name for him made his heart ache. He craved her all over again. "Yeah, baby. They're gonna go away. I swear."

She nodded trustingly when he removed the shirt again and set her into the hot water. "Make them go away, Josh."

"I'm working on it," he told her as he carefully started to wash her body.

Ashley stood in the doorway, clearly hating this more and more by the second. "Be careful what you touch," she told him bitterly. "She's not yours anymore."

Josh glared at Ashley. "She's tweaked off her head. I'm not trying to sleep with her. You're the one who called me. I'm trying to keep her from panicking."

Debby sat forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her exposed wet torso against his bare chest. His heart was practically clawing its way through his chest to get to hers as he held her.

"You can touch whatever you want. You're my baby. I'm yours," she told him, sounding almost desperate but still distant.

"No, baby girl. You're Ashley's. She gets to touch you. Not me. I'm just here to kill all those bugs. We got them too. All gone," he told her gently, pulling away from her carefully.

Debby whimpered, sliding her hands down along his chest before wrapping her arms around his neck again. "I need you, baby boy. Please help me. I'm scared."

With a reluctant sigh, Josh nodded. He separated himself from Debby, who was watching him like he was made of gold, and ignored Ashley's protests as he undressed and climbed into the tub with Debby. His ex-girlfriend let out a breath of relief as she was pulled backward, so her back was against his chest.

"Josh, I called you to help, not to try to weasel your way back into her life," Ashley snapped.

Josh rolled his eyes as he started washing Debby's hair, which was dirtier than he'd seen it in a while. There was no way this was her first day of relapse. She'd been on a binge for at least a couple. No wonder she was so scared.

"I am helping. Debby needs to be touched when she's high or she panics," Josh told Ashley irritably as he worked shampoo into Debby's bleached hair. "Right, baby?"

Debby looked like she was in bliss as she nodded. She probably was. Every touch would be amplified for her right now, and she had one of the most tempting drugs of all in her system. Josh's own cravings were becoming a bit overwhelming. Some part of his brain was begging him to tear the trailer apart to find whatever was left of the drugs Debby had taken. It got harder and harder to fight it the longer he washed her hair.

It had been a very long time since he'd seen his girlfriend-no, ex-girlfriend-look this blissed out. He doubted she even remembered he'd left her right now. She couldn't stop touching him-climbing into his lap, playing with his hair, whining whenever he stopped her from kissing him, and pressing herself against him until there was no space left.

Unable to handle watching her girlfriend act like this, Ashley left the bathroom. She closed the door behind herself, and Josh know she was going to go shoot up. That was what she did when she was upset. It was a habit. It was his habit too, and he craved it.

"Hold me," Debby pleaded with him and she squeezed his torso so hard that it restricted his breathing.

"I am holding you, Debs," Josh reminded her, but wrapped his arms impossibly tight around her anyways.

She squeaked at how tightly she was being squeezed, but relaxed under the pressure. "Remember when we used to do this every day?" She whispered against his shoulder.

Josh nodded, hating that the memory only made him crave the drugs even more. Nothing hurt back then. He could go back. He could slip into that unfeeling calm again. It was possible.

That couldn't be an option, though. He wanted to be like Tyler's brother. He wanted to overcome all of this. He wanted to get better. He was going to get better.

"I miss you," Debby whispered, starting to cry again. She sobbed against his shoulder, the sound making his heart snap in half. "I miss you so fucking much. I can't get better without you."

Guilt washed over Josh once again. He was killing her just to save himself. If he got better, she wouldn't. He was being selfish. Why did he deserve to get better while she deteriorated? The answer was so simple. He didn't.

"Debby, I don't want to die," he whispered to her, feeling tears sting at his eyes.

His girlfriend shook her head, wiping at his tears and shushing him when they started to fall. Ex-girlfriend. They weren't together anymore.

"You aren't gonna die, baby boy. It's okay," Debby told him.

Her pupils were massive, and she looked much more like the girl he'd had to drag out of abandoned buildings after overdoses than like the girl who'd sat up with him all night when he was tweaking. He'd done this to her. He'd killed the healthy part of her when he left. He'd never even considered what would happen to her if he wasn't there to distract her from getting high. He was killing someone he loved more than anything.

This time when Debby kissed him, he kissed back. He held her close and let her drain all of his strength out of him as her lips moved against his and her hands tangled in his hair. His guilt was only amplified by how much comfort he drew from her touch. He knew that this kiss would likely seal his fate. Odds were, he was signing away his freedom to get better by kissing her. He couldn't stay here with her unless he was low enough for her to take care of him. It was either that she took care of him, or no one took care of her. He owed it to her to sacrifice his sobriety for hers, right?

"Are you gonna stay?" Debby asked him hopefully, her coked out eyes bright with hope.

Josh swallowed hard as he studied the eyes that were so familiar yet so distant. He owed her, but he'd promised Tyler. He was a burden on Tyler, though. He couldn't continue pulling him into this, could he? He couldn't stay here unless he threw all of his progress away, though. He could go back to Hayley's. She was expecting him back today anyways. He could do that, right?

Still, he heard himself reply, "I'm not going anywhere."

Debby nodded gratefully, pulling him in and kissing him again and again. He felt sick to his stomach when she shot out of the tub and left the room. He stared at the trail of water droplets she'd left behind. Somehow, he couldn't summon the strength inside of himself to get up and go help her. It didn't matter, though, because she came back in on her own.

His heart sank when she set all of the things he needed to shoot up again on the lip of the tub before looking at him hopefully. She didn't have to say it out loud for him to understand. She wanted him to get bad again so she could get better. He should leave. He should go. He should run back to his car and call Tyler or Hayley as he drove away so they could keep him from coming back, but he didn't. The craving was too strong, and with the bag of brown powder beside him, he couldn't fight it anymore.

***Trigger warning for heroin use.***

Josh had never hated himself more than as he expertly prepared the drug inside of the spoon-wetting it, dropping in the cotton, absorbing it through that, making sure there was no air inside of the syringe. His hands shook as he tied his arm off with the belt she'd brought him. She held it tight for him, kissing down his neck as he found a vein. It was getting harder. It was getting so much harder.

The nip of the needle made Josh want to cry from both relief and remorse. All of the stress, pain, guilt, and anxiety was forgotten though as he pulled the belt away and let the heroin flood his system. He felt his eyes roll back, and then everything faded away in a familiar pleasant haze.