Start the song. It's No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross by Sufjan Stevens.

Two seizures. Josh had two seizures today. Hayley had almost decided to stay home from work tonight, but Josh wouldn't let her. Instead, he suffered through a full sleepless day of the most intense pain he'd ever felt until the sun finally went down. The second the sun slipped beneath the horizon, Josh practically dragged himself outside and laid on the lawn, just so the slightly cooler air outside could soothe the debilitating heat overtaking his sweat-slicked skin.

Hayley took Josh's phone to work with her at his own request. He knew he'd call someone for drugs if she didn't take it. The pain was too intense. He'd cried almost all day, and there was nothing Hayley could do to soothe him as his blood burned though his body like acid and his brain screamed for him to do something-anything-to stop this.

Josh squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pull air into his lungs, but shooting pains attacked him from every part of his body with every breath. He gripped the grass beneath him tightly in his fist as he fought back the urge to scream when the pain continued to swell inside of him.

Fear brought tears to his eyes as he tried not to think about what would happen if that pain grew to be so big that he just exploded all over the lawn. He was dying, wasn't he? He had to be dying. This felt like dying.

The slight chill of the night air hardly soothed Josh at all anymore, so he stared up at the stars and silently pleaded with God to make this stop. He couldn't handle this anymore. He was seconds away from tearing Hayley's house apart to find anything with a high enough chemical content for him to get high off of it. Getting sober wasn't worth this level of pain. Nothing was.

The pain in Josh's body was so disorienting that he didn't even realize someone had sat down on the grass next to him until he heard, "Is there any reason in particular that you're laying outside after midnight?"

He forced his eyes open, but he wished he'd kept them closed immediately afterward. Tyler was sitting crisscross beside him on the lawn. He was wearing overalls again and looking worriedly at Josh. Josh couldn't pull him into this. He deserved so much better.

"Um," Josh mumbled, looking up at the stars as he tried to hide his pain as much as possible. "Any reason you're outside on the wrong side of town after midnight?"

Tyler smiled, but apparently took that as an invitation to lay down next to Josh on the lawn. He crossed his ankles and stuck his hands in his pockets as he looked up at the stars. "I already told you, I rarely sleep. Sometimes I go for drives when I can't sleep, and I saw you laying on the lawn."

"Why don't you sleep?" Josh asked, feeling a bit annoyed with Tyler for not enjoying being able to sleep when Josh had been awake for three days straight.

"School," Tyler replied simply. He looked at Josh then. "I wrote three essays today."

As much as Josh wanted to either cry, yell at Tyler, or bury his face against Tyler's chest and pull the younger man's arms around him until he finally fell asleep, Josh swallowed all of those urges down and forced himself to smile supportively instead. "How do you think they turned out?"

"I suck at grammar, but I think I got my point across. Hopefully," Tyler said quietly. He looked at Josh then, making him nervous with how intensely he studied him. "Are you okay?"

Josh wanted to either tell Tyler everything or just yell at him to fuck off so he could lay here and wallow in self pity, but he couldn't do either of those things. "I'm sick," he replied instead.

Tyler frowned. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?"

It was frustrating for Josh to try not to allow his withdrawals to twist his perceptions of Tyler's behaviour around to annoy him when the younger man was so kind. There was nothing he could do for Josh though. Unless he brought Josh enough coke and dope to knock him out, there was nothing he could do to ease the pain threatening to send him tumbling headfirst into another seizure.

"I think it's just the flu," Josh lied. "Thanks though."

Tyler nodded, giving Josh a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, I can feel your fever from here. Are you sure you don't need to be in bed or something?"

Honestly, Josh wanted to be back in bed so badly, but it hurt to move, so he'd already accepted that he was probably just going to die on Hayley's front lawn. Tyler raised an eyebrow when Josh didn't respond, just sighing and looking up at the stars instead.

"Which one are you living in?" Tyler asked as he looked up at the apartment building.

"Number three," Josh replied tiredly.

He gasped in both surprise and pain when Tyler stood up and scooped him up off of the grass, carrying him back over to Hayley's apartment. The way he held Josh was gentle as he carefully made his way up the steps and into the warmth of Hayley's home, which made Josh suddenly realize that he had been freezing.

Tyler set Josh down on the couch carefully before sitting on the floor next to him. Only then did he start to look thoroughly concerned. "Josh, are you sure it's just the flu? You look-no offence or anything-but you look really sick."

Great. The only cover story Josh had was falling through, and he was too distracted by trying not to die that he couldn't think of another. Instead, he gave Tyler a partial truth. "I have this thing where sometimes I have seizures, and it's been kind of a rough day on that front."

Tyler's eyes widened. "Like epilepsy?"

Josh hesitated. "Yeah, something like that. I'm okay though. I'm pretty used to this," he lied.

That seemed to make Tyler sad. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that. That's pretty scary."

They were both quiet when Pancake sauntered into the room, flicking her tail confidently as she walked. She hopped up onto the couch and curled up in a tiny ball on Josh's chest. Tyler smiled slightly when he saw her.

"This is Pancake?" He asked excitedly.

Josh felt himself smile slightly. "Yeah," he said quietly.

"She's even cuter in person," Tyler told him as he reached out and stroked the cat's back, making her purr. "You know, animals can sense when humans are going to have seizures. She's probably keeping an eye on you to make sure you won't have another."

That comforted Josh a lot. He wondered if that had been what attracted Pancake to their porch in the first place. Maybe she'd somehow known that Josh was going to need her to comfort him soon and just decided to show up and help him out. He really appreciated that if that was the truth.

"How do you know stuff like that?" Josh asked Tyler curiously.

Tyler shrugged. "I'm not sure. That kind of just came to mind. I must've read it somewhere."

Josh smiled. "I wish I was smart like you. I haven't even read a book since high school."

Tyler's eyes widened. "Since high school? Josh, that's ridiculous. How can you even survive that long without reading?"

Once again, Tyler brought a smile to Josh's lips. "I don't really like reading, I guess."

"No! You just haven't found the right books yet. Trust me. Everyone likes reading once they find the right books," Tyler assured him.

Josh was surprised to find that he was starting to get sleepy. After three days and four nights of being painfully alert, he was finally getting tired. Part of him credited that to Tyler's presence, making him anxious at the very thought of the younger man leaving. Maybe it was because he was in so much pain he could barely stand it. Or maybe it was because Debby was no longer his girlfriend and Hayley was at work, but all he wanted was for Tyler to be as close to him as possible. He needed some sort of affection, but he knew Tyler wasn't the right place to look for it.

Surprisingly, Tyler seemed to have the same idea. He gently scooted Josh over on the couch before standing up and laying down next to him. He slung an arm around Josh's waist.

"I can leave if you want me to, but you keep looking like you're going to cry, and it's worrying me," Tyler explained.

This felt a lot like when Hayley had immediately taken him in when he'd shown up on her front porch looking for a home. It was different, though, because Tyler barely knew him. He didn't even know what kind of sick Josh really was. He was just being kind because it was in his nature.

Tears did fill Josh's eyes then, and his inflamed body hurt too much for him to be embarrassed. Instead, he buried his face against Tyler's overall-covered chest and cried. Without a second of hesitation, Tyler's arms wrapped around him gently. He rubbed Josh's back while he cried, whispering soft words although he had no idea why Josh was sobbing against him.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't cry. You're gonna feel better soon," Tyler told him softly.

Josh nodded, but he couldn't stop crying for what felt like ages. When he did, he was completely exhausted. In fact, he finally felt tired enough to sleep. Still, he clung to Tyler. The younger man didn't complain, holding him tightly and gently rubbing the aching muscles in his back.

"Sorry," Josh mumbled against the denim covering Tyler's chest. "'M not trying to be a baby."

Tyler pulled Josh closer, shifting to let Josh rest his head on his chest. He continued to massage Josh's back, making his eyelids heavy.

"What kind of daddy would I be if I didn't let you be a baby?" He asked.

The words startled a laugh out of Josh, whose arms tightened around Tyler. "I forgot I had the best sugar daddy ever."

An unintentional shiver slipped down Josh's spine when Tyler started to twist Josh's hair around his gentle fingers. He heard Tyler chuckle, but he didn't comment on the way Josh melted against him. His eyelids slipped shut without his permission as Tyler continued to play with his hair. After being unable to sleep for so long, Josh drifted off against Tyler's chest to the gentle hum of Tyler reminding him again and again that he was okay and that he'd get better.

-----

Leaving when Josh was sleeping so restlessly felt wrong, so Tyler stayed put. He watched as Pancake walked along the back of the couch until she found just the right place to lay down. She really was cute.

Tyler wondered if Josh even noticed that his legs kept twitching, as if they were trying to kick on their own. Even as he slept, there was pain hidden just beneath the surface of his features. He had to be really sick. Tyler had never had a seizure, though, so maybe that was normal and he just didn't know. Regardless, he wasn't going to leave Josh until he looked less tense.

He continued playing with Josh's hair, which seemed to calm him slightly. Tyler wondered if this was what Debby had done when Josh was sick. She'd always seemed to be touching him, coddling him in some way. Maybe he really needed that. Tyler could help him with that, but he had to remind himself that it was just as friends.

Besides, Josh was living with a friend right now. Tyler would only need to stay until the friend got home. He could do that. Surely Josh's friend would be home soon, right? It was almost two in the morning.

Josh whimpered quietly in his sleep, his face contorting with pain as he gripped Tyler's overalls tightly. His breathing became unsteady as he buried himself against Tyler even more. Unsure of what else to do, Tyler massaged Josh's back again.

"You're okay," he whispered to him gently. "Everything's gonna be okay."

The tense muscles in Josh's body were only tightening as his whimpers turned into tiny whines of pain. Just when Tyler was starting to get worried about Josh having a seizure, the stiff muscles started to loosen slightly. They never fully released all of the tension stuck in them, but they did relax a small amount.

"You're okay," Tyler whispered again worriedly.

He definitely couldn't leave Josh alone in this state. It seemed like he was really ill. If Tyler left and Josh had another seizure, who would be here to help him? Granted, Tyler didn't know how to help someone who was having a seizure anyways.

Carefully, Tyler pulled his phone out of his pocket. He let Josh continue to sleep atop his chest as he researched what to do if Josh did start seizing. It was half past two when he was finally satisfied with his knowledge on the subject. Just as carefully as before, Tyler slid his phone back into his pocket before wrapping his arms around Josh and massaging his back again.

Tyler wasn't sure how long he did that before he fell asleep too. All he knew was that some part of him was relieved that Josh wasn't alone. Maybe somewhere under the surface he knew what was really wrong with Josh, but he'd let himself believe it was just epilepsy and the flu until he couldn't anymore. That dormant part of him kept whispering that he was denying an obvious truth, but he shoved it back down every time. He'd seen this once before, and he was terrified to see it again.