Jesse shivered, tugging her jacket more tightly around herself. Checking the compass once more to make sure they were still heading in the right direction, before shoving both her hands into the hoodie's pockets.

She was alone at that moment, standing above deck in the faint morning sun. Her good eye bright and alert, her diamond sword resting within her reach.

But Jesse's heart felt heavy in her chest, a feeling of anxiety pricking at the back of her mind. An uneasiness in her stomach, her figure drenched in restlessness.

She knew exactly what all these feelings were; regret.

It's been ten days. Ten days since the night of the drowned attack, ten days since Jesse fell asleep while manning the sail.

Jesse hadn't said anything, not to Lukas or Petra. She almost forgot about it completely that evening, ice cold and exhausted from the fight with the drowned.

But even when the thought came to mind again, Jesse didn't have the courage to talk to her friends, to tell them that she screwed up. Silently praying in the back of her head that it didn't matter, and that they weren't severely off course.

Days were passing. More than what were meant to pass. Lukas had brushed it off, saying the wind and the sea just probably wasn't in their favour. That they just had to stick to it, and that everything would turn out.

Jesse was starting to grow more and more uncertain.

She had feeling her mistake impacted them more heavily than she thought. What if they endlessly sailed, no longer on the path to the island? What if they died out there, in the middle of the ocean? What if she possibly cost them their only chance at a happy ending?

Jesse sighed, sinking down onto the deck, and taking a bite of her apple. Her appetite dwindling slightly as the stress gnawed away at her.

On the bright side of things, Lukas was getting really good at working things like the sail with one hand. Either his arm was starting to get better, or he was getting used to tolerating the pain. Jesse rarely saw him flinch or grit his teeth as he worked.

She was also adapting really well to her sight. Working with the handicap has helped Jesse a ton. She was starting to really how to judge distance with her hands in basic tasks. Walking was no longer a challenge either, the steps below deck being one of the only things Jesse still struggled with a bit.

Not to mention that she had learned how to properly wield her sword again. She was going to need to start practising most of her techniques from scratch again, but that was a small price to pay.

But other than that, things weren't looking great.

Petra for one, wasn't getting any better. If anything, the short amount of time out in the rain that night had made her even worse.

She spent most of the days sleeping below deck, rarely leaving the bed when she was awake – Something the active warrior rarely did.

Petra of course wasn't in a state to be manning the sail, meaning Jesse and Lukas were switching shifts all around the clock. Whoever wasn't working with the sail would take the time to catch up on some sleep and keep an eye on Petra.

Their food supply was starting to shrink to a dangerous level. Even their fresh water was starting to run out, to a point where Lukas decided it would be safer to ration it out.

He stayed very confident, saying that it would only be a matter of days before they arrived at their destination.

Jesse sighed, placing her apple down and getting up to check the compass. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was truly all her fault...

They needed to get to the island, before their food and water ran out. Jesse would also feel much more reassured if they could get their hands on the ingredients for a healing potion to help Petra.

Making a small adjustment to the sail, Jesse sat back down and continued eating her apple. It was quite cold out. They had another storm the previous even, and both she and Lukas had their turn of being drenched.

Clouds still hung heavily in the sky, blocking out most of the sunlight and thus any opportunities to warm up while manning the sale.

Jesse almost couldn't wait to switch shifts with Lukas again. She wasn't as tired, but she just wanted to get below deck where it's warm. She's rather nurse one of Petra's fevers for hours, than working out there in the cold.

Somewhere on the horizon a dolphin leaped out of the water only to disappear beneath the waves again. Jesse smiled to herself, her spirits lifting every so slightly. But then her face fell again, sorrow seeping right back into her system.

She needed to tell Lukas about what had happened. She couldn't live with this regret any longer...

Jesse took a deep shaky breath, the mere thought about coming clean flooding her in fear and dread. What he say, what would he think?

If she really did doom the three of them...

Jesse raked both her hands through her long chestnut hair, resting her head down onto her knees. She's never felt this torn about what to do... what was she going to do?

The wind picked up slightly, the sail bulging out. Jesse got up from her seat again, shivering inside her jacket as she walked back up to the compass and adjusting the sail once more.

"Cold?"

Jesse turned around, seeing Lukas standing a few feet behind her. His good hand buried into his jacket's pocket, broken one resting in the make-shift sling.

"A bit." Jesse replied softly. "It's been three hours already?"

"Yup, sure has been." Lukas replied. "You can go rest for a while, get some warmth back."

Jesse gave a small nod, turning away from the sail. She started walking back in the direction of the wooden hatch, looking down to avoid eye-contact with her friend. Too ashamed to look at him...

"Everything okay, Jesse?" Lukas asked Jesse just as she reached for the hatch. She only nodded.

"Are you sure?" Lukas prompted. "You've been really quiet the last few days. Anxious too."

Jesse opened her mouth. Wanting to so desperately blurt out the truth, telling Lukas everything.

"I'm just getting worried." She lied softly. "You know, about our food and water supply... your arm... Petra..."

"Don't worry." Lukas said, his expression relaxing. "Everything will turn out. We'll get there soon, it can't be much further."

Jesse mustered a smile, nodding. She hoped he was right... that everything would in fact be okay.

"Now go get some rest." Lukas said, giving her a gentle nudge.

Jesse opened the hatch, slowly feeling her way down the steps. Her cold muscles relaxed, the air below deck cosy and warm compared to the windy weather above.

Jesse pulled off the thick jacket she was wearing, draping it over a crate. She tugged lightly on her shirt, straightening it again, before walking over to the beds.

Petra was fast asleep on one of them, her breathing shallow and somewhat restless. A thin layer of sweat covered her pale skin.

Jesse stopped at her friend's side, looking down at Petra in concern. She wished there was at least something more she could do to help her friend, but alas her hands were tied. 
And she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt, knowing that they could have already helped Petra if she didn't screw up.

Sighing softly, Jesse turned away from Petra. Now that she was warmer and more comfortable, she realised just how tired she actually was. Her eyelids felt heavy, wanting nothing more than to just close.

Just a nap. Jesse decided, lying down on the bed and closing her eyes. Just a small nap...

And then she was asleep.

---------------------

Jesse's eyes opened slowly, blinking sleepily a few times. She was staring up at the wooden deck above them. The grids in the planks barely visible in the dark, bathing in a gentle blue tint.

Jesse shot up into a sitting position, glancing around the room,  almost sightly bewildered. It was completely dark, the reflection of the stars on the water visible through the round windows. Nighttime... did Lukas actually just leave her to sleep?

Jesse quickly got up from the bed, blinking rapidly to try and adjust her eyes to the darkness. She scanned the dark room, everything seeming to still be in place. Petra was still asleep on the other bed, her back facing Jesse. Outside, the ocean appeared to be calm.

Jesse felt for her jacket, pulling it on again. Strangely enough, it didn't feel as cold as when she went to bed... and the temperature should have dropped even further by then!

Jesse glanced back once more, making sure Petra was still okay. Confirming that her friend was still resting peacefully, she quickly climbed up the steps again.

Despite the gentle breeze blowing outside, it still wasn't that cold. Jesse shook her head in puzzlement, walking in the direction of the sail, eyes searching for Lukas.

Sure enough, her eyes soon spotted the blonde. He was standing at the side of the boat, resting with his elbow on the railing. Staring off into the dark horizon, hair rustling in the wind.

"Lukas!" Jesse called over, walking up to him. "What time is it? Why didn't you wake me?"

Lukas didn't reply, almost as if he hadn't heard her. Jesse uncertainly stopped behind him, waiting for a response.

"Lukas?" She asked again. "Is everything okay? Why didn't you come get me for my shift?"

For a second, it didn't look like Lukas was going to reply. But then he let out a soft sigh, glancing over his shoulder. "Because I don't trust you, Jesse."

"What?" Jesse asked in surprise, taking a step back.

"You heard me." Lukas replied. "I don't trust you. Do you blame me? After keeping such a secret from us?"

"Lukas, I..." Jesse started, trying to find something to say. "How did you know?"

"You think I'm that blind?" Lukas sneered. "You lied to us!"

He took a step closer, Jesse taking a step back.

"This is all your fault, Jesse. We're out of food, we're out of water. We're out of time. And that is all your fault. Because of you, we'll die of dehydration right in the middle of the ocean, that is if Petra's sickness doesn't kill her first!"

Jesse's mouth opened, but no words came out. Lukas's words felt like a dagger to the chest, a painful stab in her heart. Tears burned her eyes.

"We should have never sacrificed our lives to come with somebody like you." Lukas said softly, clenching his fist. "You ruined our lives."

"I'm sorry..." Jesse said softly, unable to find any other words. "I never... I didn't... I.. I'm so sorry..." Her words choked in her throat, tears blurring her vision.

"Sorry doesn't change our fate." Lukas hissed, reaching for something behind his back. "I will not let us die in vain out here."

Jesse took a shaking step back, eyes widening as Lukas pulled out her diamond blade. In his eyes, she saw the one thing she's never seen in Lukas's gaze before... Hatred.

Jesse turned around, getting ready to run. She didn't even stop to think that she was confined to their boat, that she had nowhere to go.

A strong hand grasped Jesse by the collar of her jacket, pulling her back. She cried out, kicking and thrashing to get free. But Luks had a firm hold on her, and he wasn't about to let her go.

"Please." Jesse choked out, feeling tears streaming down her face. "Please, Lukas, don't do this me!"

Lukas didn't say a thing, not evening blinking at Jesse's desperate pleads. He pulled her closer to him, hand tightly gripping her.

Jesse inhaled sharply, feeling the cold blade against her side, pressing hard against her skin. One of her very best friends was about to kill her...

"This is all your fault." Lukas breathed, before pulling his hand back slightly.

And then he impaled the blade straight into Jesse's side.

-----------------------

Jesse's eyes shot open and she bolted upright with a gasp. She was on her bed, below deck. Late afternoon sunlight shining in through the small round windows.

Jesse fell back onto her pillow, breathing out a long, shaking exhale. Sweat drenched her body, her heart beating rapidly inside her chest.

"Bad dream?"

Jesse jolted slightly, turning her head to the side upon hearing the faint voice.

Petra was lying on her side, her eyes resting on Jesse. Her skin ghostly pale, her bright blue irises almost looking faded.

"Y-yeah." Jesse said softly, sitting upright again and pulling her hand through her hair.

"Don't worry." Petra said softly, breaking off to let out a weak cough. "Whatever it was, it didn't actually happen." She turned over onto her back and closed her eyes again.

Jesse nodded slowly, raising her hand slightly to rest on her side where Lukas had impaled the weapon. Feeling a strong form of relief when she didn't feel any wound.

She shook her head to herself. Petra was right, it didn't actually happen. After all, even if Lukas knew what she did he would never really hurt her... much less kill her.

Jesse reached over for Lukas's watch that he left down there for checking the time with. She blinked a few times to focus her eyes so she could read the time.

2 hours and 30 minutes... it was almost time to switch shifts again.

Jesse placed the watch back down, turning her head to look over at Petra. The redhead's eyes were closed, but she was still awake.

"How are you feeling?" Jesse asked softly.

"Still kind of like shit." Petra muttered, not opening her eyes. "But I do think it's starting to wear off."

"You do?" Jesse asked hopefully, slipping her feet off the bed.

"Pretty sure." Petra replied, opening her eyes again to look over at Jesse. She mustered a weak smile. "After all, it's just the flu or something. It's bound to start wearing off, especially after I've been sleeping so much."

Jesse felt a tiny bit of the weight lift off of her shoulders, starting to smile as well. But her expression soon fell again. Even if Petra was getting better, they weren't going to make it if they didn't reach land soon. Who knew how far off course they could possibly be?

"Jesse?" Petra asked her, frowning. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Jesse said softly.

"Oh, not this crap again." Petra muttered, effortfully pushing herself up on her elbows. "Do I look like idiot of the year? It's not nothing, spit it out."

Jesse heavily sunk down on the side of Petra's bed, raking her fingers through her long chestnut hair. Uncertain of what to say...

"If you're trying to think of a lie, it won't work."

Was Petra able to read minds, or what? Jesse thought in frustration, glancing over at the redhead. She had one eyebrow raised, her expression dead serious.

Jesse looked down at her hands again. Should she just come clean to Petra now? They would find out eventually any way...

"I'm waiting, Jesse." Petra said, pushing herself further upright so she could cross her arms. There was a slight falter in her harsh tone. "Does it have anything to do with the nightmare you had?"

"Sort of." Jesse said softly. "It's complicated, but... Petra, I screwed up really badly a while back."

"I'm listening."

Jesse took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She wasn't about to turn back, they deserved the truth.

"We're out here in the middle of nowhere, because of me." Jesse said softly. "Low on supplies, and quite frankly not getting anywhere."

"How is that your fault?" Petra asked her softly, her voice a tad more gentle.

She reached over, placing a hand on Jesse's. Jesse looked up, her eye meeting Petra's. It's now or never, Jesse...

"The evening of the drowned attack." Jesse said softly. "You were just starting to get sick, and Lukas needed to rest. For a few hours, I was in charge of this boat alone."

"Did something happen?" Petra asked, cocking her head to the side.

Jesse took a deep breath. "Yes. I-"

A surprised call cut her voice off, both her and Petra's heads jerking up.

"Was that Lukas?" Petra asked immediately.

Jesse didn't say anything, immediately getting up from the bed and breaking into a jog. Petra didn't hesitate on pulling herself off the bed as well, following after Jesse.

Jesse felt her way up the steps, almost knowing the distant between each by heart. She pushed open the wooden hatch, clambering out onto the deck.

Lukas was standing at the side of the boat, grasping the railing. Back turned to them.

Jesse shivered slightly, feeling a small bit of déjà vu from the dream.

"What happened?" Petra called out to Lukas, as she clambered out beside Jesse.

He looked back at them as they came over. His blue eyes were wide, a large smile resting on his face. Both the girls turned their heads in the direction he had been looking.

Eyes coming to rest on an island in the distance.

___

Holy crap, I can't believe how close we are to the end of this book :') I'm enjoying it too much-

But hey, back to the chapter, before I go on a ramble!

So a lot happened her. Mainly, Jesse's regrets, Jesse dreaming of her regrets, and Jesse confessing her regrets. I should have called this chapter something with regret...

Is it bad that I enjoyed writing that nightmare scene? *Deep breath* No, Fan, drop those ideas! Lukas is a bean, that won't be plunging his sword into any more Jesse's... soon.

But yeah, I don't have a lot else to say here! If you have any theories about how this story will be coming to a close, feel free to throw them at me!

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you in five days with chapter 9!