I'd actually eaten a really big breakfast this morning, so right now I was hoping that would be enough to stymie my stomach's complaints—at least from now till lunch. The sinking feeling in my abdomen combined with hunger would be unbearable...

But again, I always felt like this around exam time, so this was nothing new.

I glanced around the room again, futilely, as I knew. This year, the administrators had decided to split each of the grades up into their own study halls, and they'd mixed up all the classes. I literally knew no one in the room aside from a guy from the freshman rugby team (whom Luc had tortured all of this year, to his amusement). Honestly, I'd rather not talk to anyone at the moment anyway (especially with my lack of sleep, I was snappier than usual).

I really did miss Lila's snarky remarks about the test administrators. (I'd heard that her hall's administrator was Bredbenner, which was really too funny.) And Olivia too—if only she were here...she'd give me last minute answers to questions that'd surely be on the exam.

Slouching in my seat (in my school skirt, nonetheless, but did I really care?), I bit down on the top of my #2 pencil, just like Luc would. Ugh, he was turning into such a bad influence on me.

My test proctor began to pass our exams around, and I let go of my pencil. Time to get focused. No more rambling, whether it was in my head or not. I checked my surroundings, just to see if anyone was reacting weirdly to me (in the case that I was, indeed, talking out loud, which wouldn't be anything new).

Nothing.

Brilliant.

I'd already messed up the chemistry exam, which I'd taken just before this one, so I didn't have much to worry about. Honestly, I had nothing else to take note of other than the fact that I was going to totally bomb this calculus exam.

(But this was the last time I'd ever see calculus in my life, if everything went right, so I had to make this right, for both my sake and my parents' sanity.)

I sat through the basic instructions (no cheating, no communicating with other students in any way, no food in the room, and so on) in a daze—I'd listened to these guidelines about three times before already, and I supposed that was enough. And then, it was almost time to start. I noticed the other students picking up their pencils and erasers and checked the clock.

With the first flip of the exam packet, I pretty much felt that sinking doom in my stomach as soon as I attempted to comprehend the first line of the first question, which was a word problem. My calculus teacher just really knew how to start us off, didn't he?

"A can't be possible," I thought to myself, my lips moving as I tried to silently reason it all out.

The people around me shot me a look at the same time, and I clamped my lips together, innocently poking my chin with my pencil (and undeniably poking at some very unattractive double chin fat, but I didn't think I could really care about that now). They all turned away very soon to focus on their own studies.

Good for them.

My stomach protested a little at how empty it thought it was (I swear it wasn't though—it was about 10am, and I'd literally had breakfast three and a half hours earlier), and I bent over my desk.

I blinked a couple times (did I really have to wear contacts to do my exam?), and my eyes tried to find x in the equation I was given. Oh shit.

My day was definitely going to go well from the way it was starting off now.

↔

After the god-awful calculus exam, I had a 15 minutes before lunch time, which was some really generous timing. Unfortunately for me, neither Lila nor Luc were free to study with me (and even if they could study with me, we wouldn't be able to help each other much since we were all taking different exams in the afternoon). Olivia was nowhere to be seen (and I couldn't contact her since electronics outside from those of the school were strictly prohibited during exam time).

And so, I was alone.

I crossed my legs sulkily as I slouched in my seat at a library table. I hadn't been able to secure one of the comfy couches on which I usually studied (those plucky freshmen had gotten to them first, those little assholes). And therefore, my mood got even worse than it already was.

Maybe I really needed to listen to Luc about getting enough sleep during these critical last few days.

But then again, since when did I let Luc win about matters like this?

I seriously wanted my phone so I could listen to some exam study instrumentals (and get distracted by my social media apps at one point or another, but a teenage girl needed a break from studying sometimes, right?). Stupid rules.

My stomach decided to announce its emptiness very loudly right then. Oh God, it was so loud that its growl basically reverberated in the full library.

It took everything in me to keep from turning completely red and breaking down for something that wasn't even really my fault (all right, maybe I should have eaten some more toast at breakfast time).

The stress was real. I hoped college wasn't going to be all about this. But again, I still had another year of high school to go through before moving on there. And I really needed to focus on the task at hand, which was to keep myself from completely messing up my academic record by failing these exams.

I blinked a couple times, rubbed my eyes, and did an eye exercise (recommended by my eye doctor for times of visual stress). Vaguely, my eyes focused on the edge of a bookcase halfway across the huge library (so my eyes wouldn't hurt too much from focusing on small words, which I'd been studying for the past few hours).

Ah, that felt really good.

The girl who was sitting next to me squirmed in her seat and shook the table, which really annoyed me. I shot a glance at her. She was some annoying kid that I didn't know (definitely not in my grade, and I'd bet my money that she was a sophomore who'd somehow gotten a seat, which were somewhat priceless at this time, in the library).

"Stop it," I whispered to her.

She blinked (aw, just like me) and sent me a startled look. "Sorry," she answered a little nervously. "I didn't mean to—"

"Just don't do it again," I muttered to her out of the side of my mouth. Seriously. Was it too much for a girl to ask for peace while trying to successfully save her grades from perpetual damnation during exam time?

Apparently it was, because another girl (the friend of the girl sitting next to me, by the looks of it, since they were exchanging looks every once in a while) shook the table as she erased something on her paper.

And that was it. I stood up, almost knocking my chair over. The people sitting around my table looked up at me, startled. I glanced outside. It was strangely empty out there—since it was so nice, everyone would usually be flocking out there to lounge around and study a little. But then, I remembered that we all were to remain inside (again, to prevent cheating or something).

All right, I needed to think this through again. It wouldn't be very smart if I left the library since I'd be stuck to study in the hallways then, and my butt would be very cold from sitting there. That would definitely affect my performance in my next exam (AP Government, which would surely be lengthy and very intricate). So with a sigh, I sat back down in my seat.

God help me tolerate these idiots around me.

↔

Lunchtime had arrived, and I was just about ready to kiss the lunch lady, whom I usually hated.

Lila raised an eyebrow at me. "What's up with you?"

My mouth dropped open. "You mean you weren't hungry this entire time as well? Dude, my stomach was basically creating its own song the entire calculus exam."

"I didn't have breakfast this morning," Olivia complained, grabbing her utensils off the rack. "I felt like I was going to faint."

"You're so smart," I said, elbowing Olivia on the side as I balanced my lunch tray on my other hand. "Haven't you ever heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?"

I finished getting all the food that I wanted, so I waited off to the side for Lila and Olivia to get what they wanted. I couldn't help feeling a little better since Olivia got more food than I did (that was wrong of me, of course, but my morals were all messed up after that damn calculus exam—who the hell started an exam with a fucking word problem?). I grabbed a water bottle.

"I mean, I was cram studying, and I just kind of forgot to eat the food that the cook had set out for me." Olivia rolled her eyes at me. "Don't you go lecturing me. I thought you hated biology."

"This isn't biology," I retorted as the three of us walked to our lunch table, which was empty. The other girls must have had a different lunch period. I didn't really mind. That meant there were less people to witness my bitchy mood. "It's just common sense and taking care of yourself, y'know?"

"Shut up," Olivia muttered as we sat down. She opened her yogurt (even though it wasn't breakfast time...). "I promise I'll eat my breakfast tomorrow. You happy now?"

I gave her a huge fake smile. "Yeah, O, totally."

Lila popped an olive into her mouth. "So how were your exams? Spanish wasn't too bad, actually, aside from the oral section. That was horrid. The lady was talking ridiculously quickly."

"You got both of your languages over with? Lucky." I groaned jokingly. "Calculus was terrible."

"Nah, you don't know what you're talking about," Lila said, shaking her head. "I spent the five minutes for reading instructions trying to sort the French vocab words from the Spanish vocab words. I think I messed up at least half of the vocab section."

Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel better about myself after hearing that from Lila.

Out of instinct, I turned my head to the jock table where Luc used to sit (I mean, he had been sitting at my lunch table with all of the girls for the past few weeks). There he was. That was where he'd been. He made eye contact with me and smiled, raising his eyebrows as he lifted up his piece of pizza.

I returned his smile and turned back to my friends.

"Pay attention to us, would you?" Olivia whined. She didn't seem too irked. That was good. (But again, that might have been because she was too drained of energy to actually feel anything about me and Luc. I definitely did not blame her, and I totally supported her sentiments.)

I opened my water bottle and took a swig from it. "Ugh, the things I'd do for a coffee right now," I sighed, resting my chin on my palm. "I mean, I really would not mind a little boost."

Lila held up a hand. "Uh, no. Coffee is for late night work, not mid-day focus. You crash faster than anyone I've ever seen."

That was definitely true. "But your bladder can basically hold about two cups of water," I said to her, pointing a finger at her smoothie. "Are you sure you wanna go with that?"

"What?" Lila opened her smoothie bottle, raising her eyebrows at me defensively. "I need some sugar to get me going for the day." Then, realizing that she was basically accepting something that she'd condemned for me, she finally smiled widely and rolled her eyes at me. "Fine, we all need some energy boosters right now."

"Luc would tell you otherwise," Olivia added, as coolly as could be. I refrained from acting too skeptically. (After all, she did tell me that I was incredibly good at dismissing people, including her.)

Lila nodded as if there was no connection whatsoever between Olivia and Luc and me. "He actually buys into the health trend stuff that my mom preaches, so don't even bother."

I laughed. "Well, at least I don't have too much this afternoon. I think O and I have a review day in Psych, and that's basically it."

"You guys'll just sleep through it," Lila said, scoffing at the two of us. "I actually have a history exam after lunch, so this is so not fair."

I shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I have a full day tomorrow, basically. Then day after tomorrow, I have two last exams, and I'm done."

"Me too," Olivia said. She looked over to me. "Are we in any of the same exam halls tomorrow?"

Rummaging in my backpack for a schedule, I leaned down away from my lunch. Finally, I pulled the paper out of the mess of books in my backpack and scrutinized it. "I'm with Jacobson tomorrow, and then Hearn the next day. You guys?" I looked up expectantly at my friends.

They both shook their heads. Ugh, more days of torture tomorrow. And since our administrators were on different blocks, we all wouldn't be in the same lunch block tomorrow.

Lila stretched back in her chair. "I can't wait for summer," she said up to the ceiling, cracking her arms.

Even though I could barely understand her, I nodded. Sunshine and pools every day—what more could I ask for?

→

So, hey for real today! I guess this double update thing can get tedious for all of us, but I gotta play catchup sometimes, haha. I mean, my play is over and I can somewhat check on my messages (sorry for the delays sometimes though!).

What are your experiences with finals? This book is a little ahead of time right now (at least for US high school exams), so this might be a little premature. But anyway, just comment whatever thoughts you have!

Thank you so much, y'all, and love you!

Anne