Go Fuck Yourself- No Wait, Let Me Do It.


The problem with the Princess Mithian was that there was no problem. One could easily come to the conclusion that she was a flawless candidate; a natural-born leader, with silky hair and tiny hands. She was spunky enough to be interesting and boring enough to be noble. She was born to be Queen; she just hadn't decided of which nations yet. One could also notice her hand was on Arthur's forearm.

Of course, Merlin did try his best to not notice or even acknowledge the existence of Arthur in general. This was difficult because it was also his job.

"She's got her hand on his arm! Merlin, look!" It was also difficult to do with Sir Gwaine determined to get Merlin to acknowledge them.

"Yes, I can see that." The two of them were in the corner of the banquet hall, choosing to spend the night together instead of respecting their appropriate posts. Really, what was Arthur going to do? Yell at him to get back to work? He'd have to talk to him to do that, and the last few days have established that it was a difficult task.

Sir Gwaine and the rest of the squad were not yet aware of any romantic actions that may or may not have occurred between the two parties. This had not stopped them from gathering together and assuming their positions. Arthur would not marry this princess, not if they had anything to say about it. The plan was to get Merlin so riled up that he would confess his feelings.

The plan was going excellently, obviously.

"Now that he knows she's super hot and way smarter than him, do you think he'll ask her to marry him properly? Romantic candlelight, flower petals strewn on the bed, getting down on one knee before she gets down on two, you know." He nudged Merlin, as if he wasn't paying attention.

"That's none of my business." Expect it really was, wasn't it? He'd have to set it up and clean up after. That was his job.

"Would you have to prepare the room for that? Is Arthur that cruel?" Sometimes Gideon was ridiculously attentive and quick, but he was also young. People underestimated him. One couldn't fault him for clarifying Merlin's duties. If it was rubbing salt into the wound, well... you couldn't prove anything.

"Shouldn't you be doing- do you have a job?" The two turned to him.

"I don't have a job. I'm fourteen. Mum makes good money in the kitchens and I just stay out of trouble." Sir Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you do a good job of that, do you?" He blushed. It wasn't like he had been arrested yet.

"How do you come to the banquets if you're not a servant yourself?" Merlin was gawking at him as he asked. It was the most emotion he had had on his face for days.

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about yourself? The love of your life is over there getting courted." Gideon pointed over his shoulder.

It had been a long day. "The love of- Gideon! He's the king. It's my job to serve him. I have no other claim to him," he shook his head, "if she makes him happy, then I'm glad. This is the best outcome any of us could have asked for. They're clearly meant for each other."

Gideon, Sir Gwaine, and also a few guests who had overheard were staring at Merlin. Sir Elyan stood up from his chair and walked over. Merlin watched him, confused, before the knight slapped him on the back of the head.

"Hey- what-!" The two knights were shaking their heads.

"Someone had to do it. The love of your life is currently occupied." Merlin rubbed at the back of his head.

"Oh, the lot of you-!" Merlin shook his head; he definitely couldn't tell them about the kiss.

"Why are we hitting Merlin?" Gwen came over with the Lady Morgana beside her. Once upon a time, Camelot had been a place of structure, class segregation, and tradition, and now Morgana and her maid were doing shots together.

"Merlin thinks Arthur and the Princess Mithian are 'meant for each other'," Gwaine said the last few words with air quotations.

Morgana snorted, the whiskey she held in her hands sloshing around in the glass bottle. She stared at Merlin; eyes wide.

"Why are you stupid?" Of course, having had a bit of alcohol, she flushed once she realized how close she had gotten to the boy. He was stupid but he was also cute.

"My lady." Gwen grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back. Morgana had a bit of a balance issue at the moment. She grabbed Gwen's hand in her own and looked into her eyes.

"If I asked you to marry me..." Morgana started petting her hair. It was frizzy and the petting was actually tugging at her scalp uncomfortably, but she just smiled grimly.

"I'll think about it." She patted her upper arm. A few feet away, Sir Lancelot blanched with a fork full of chicken halfway into his mouth. That was a different story.

Gwaine threw his arm around Merlin and ruffled his hair. If his majesty was sneaking glances at him, then they should give him something to look at.

"Let's get drunk and dance on tables!" He raised his glass. Morgana raised her bottle.

"Cheers!"


........


Arthur hadn't talked to Merlin in a week. He was embarrassed. He didn't want to explain himself knowing he would ruin everything by being honest, and probably wouldn't end up anywhere good lying either. If he couldn't confront his problem with a pointy stick, he wasn't going to at all, thank you very much. It'd be just as easy to do nothing and wait for Merlin to forget that anything had happened at all. Foolproof.

Except that it was not foolproof, and the two of them were, in fact, great fools.

"Why are you doing this." It was a question, but Gideon was so deadpan that it didn't merit the punctuation.

King Arthur was sitting at his desk, nursing a rather large goblet of some strong wine. It had been a difficult day. He rubbed his face, frustrated. Why was everyone making it harder for him to do the right thing?

"It's my duty-"

"Bullshite!" Gwaine jumped up from where he had been sitting, bouncing, his back to Arthur. He pointed his finger at the king. Was that treason? Perhaps at one point, it had been.

"Gwaine, why-"

"Why have you done this to Merlin? Is it to get back at him for the magic thing? You've decided to torture him?"

Fortunately, Arthur did not understand Gwaine's point of view. He didn't think that the knight meant his current engagement was breaking his servant's heart because he didn't dare think of where said servant's heart was aligned. That was in the pile of things to think about only after several more drinks. The king instead assumed Merlin had mentioned the fateful kiss that had ruined Arthur's life.

"What? No! It was an accident!"

"What- how was it an accident?" Now, Gwaine was thrown.

"It happened before I knew what I was doing. I didn't mean to kiss him." Gideon and Sir Gwaine froze at the same time. Gideon had already known about the kiss but the previous time he had inquired with the king, he had denied its existence. Sir Gwaine's face was spasming. He was supposed to be frowning, he thought.

He was beaming. "You- Princess, you finally did it!"

"What?!" Arthur was not happy. Arthur was far from it. Why was Gwaine happy?

"You kissed- are you not-? Together, I don't-"

"No, we're not together! I'm still engaged you-!" Now, Arthur was angry.

"Why are you still engaged if-"

"Merlin doesn't- and it wouldn't- it doesn't matter." Arthur sighed, defeated. He slouched forward onto the desk, contemplating banging his head onto it.

Gideon spoke up. "Not to confirm or deny what Merlin 'doesn't', ah. Why doesn't it matter?"

Arthur looked at him gloomily from over his wine. He was pouting, and his lower lip was pressed into the inside of the cold rim. When he spoke, the words were reverberated by the acoustics of the goblet.

"I'm still getting married to Princess Mithian."

"But you don't have to. Merlin-"

"It doesn't matter what Merlin thinks. It doesn't change anything."

"Arthur," Gwaine was glaring at him now, soberer than he had ever been since stepping foot in Camelot, "...if there was a chance Merlin felt the same-" Arthur was pretty sure he hadn't admitted any feelings to Gwaine, and for good reason; his brow furrowed, "-why wouldn't it change everything?"

Arthur blinked in surprise. Something sad and dark and blue twisted inside him. "Because... because he's a servant."

The knight recoiled. "I thought you didn't care about that!"

"I don't! But I can't take advantage of him. He's... he's too important to me." Gwaine rolled his eyes, huffing his shoulders.

"Arthur, you idiot. Do you honestly think you could take advantage of Merlin even if you wanted to?" He swung his hand out and grabbed the wine.

"Hey-!"

"No! No more wine for you. Sober up and come to your senses. In a few weeks, you'll be getting married. Who's it gonna be?" Arthur snarled as he stood up.

"Do I need to remind you that I'm king?"

"I don't give a flying fuck, princess. I'm your friend before I'm your subject. No more alcohol." This was disturbing, coming from Gwaine of all people.

It was unfair. Life was too painful at the moment to spend his evenings without the wine, and Gwaine should have been the first person to understand. No one understood. He was going to be married to a beautiful princess and here he was hung up on his servant. Mithian was excellent, she was darn near perfect. Arthur would be almost happy with her.

Except he wouldn't be, because she wasn't Merlin, and Arthur was a disaster. The king yawned before glaring at his knight again.

"Sleep it off. Pull yourself together. And talk to Merlin." Gwaine drank the rest of the wine in a quick swig.


........


"Gaius, I know about his magic." The king was in the middle of discussing the upcoming magic repeal with Gaius. The man used to be a sorcerer and even though it had been years since he had last used magic (it hadn't been) (it had been like 10 minutes) he still knew more than anyone else he could think of.

They were discussing magic users who had been in hiding in Camelot, though few they were, they would definitely struggle to come out with the law change. This had led to a few suggestive comments from Gaius, and Arthur realizing that he was talking about his manservant.

"You... you know he's Emrys?"

"I- what? Emrys?" Arthur did not know, clearly. Luckily for him, his brain didn't go fast enough to draw conclusions before Gaius spoke again.

"You did not know. Oh, dear. Yes, Merlin has magic but it's a bit more complex than that." Arthur slow blinked. Was the man not going to clarify?

"Can you...?"

"Yes, I suppose I should tell you." Gaius' game plan was to rip it off like a band-aid. Of course, he did not know what a band-aid was but he understood the notion all the same. The king already knew that Merlin had magic, it wasn't like how much of it made it any less illegal. (A: You there! What is that you have? B: Oh, me? Just a bit of contraband. A: Contraband?! B: Yes, but only a little bit. A: Oh, in that case.)

"You see... sire," Why was this difficult to say? It seemed so silly to admit to Merlin's power as if it was a minor detail, and not monumental. Gaius felt as if no words could actually do justice in explanation of such a phenomenon. In any case, he didn't want to be bothered with it. He'd start the fire and then let Merlin deal with it.

"...some say he is the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the Earth. Others describe him as magic incarnate."

"He's..." Arthur needed to sit down. For honestly, probably the first time in his life, his knees were giving out on him. But he wasn't thinking about that right now, and no one had observed him so closely to know anyway (except for Merlin) (but he's not here at the moment).

Gaius leapt up from his chair, to offer it to his highness. He guided him down, grabbing onto his forearms. Arthur offered no resistance.

"...magic..." The gears were still turning. One could forgive that it was taking a while.

"That's what Emrys is, his title as a magic user of this realm... if honestly he could be considered a magic user... I don't actually know how it works..." Arthur held up a hand to interrupt.

"He's the most powerful sorcerer in- in- ever?!" He couldn't fathom it. It wasn't that he didn't see Merlin as larger than life or worthy of such a thing; it was that Merlin didn't act at all like anyone else who had ever had remotely any power ever in the history of power.

He never asked for credit or comfort, he wanted no recognition for his outstanding loyalty, and this had been shocking but understandable while Merlin was just a servant. If he was shy or thought for some dumb reason he wasn't worth it... Arthur wasn't about to embarrass him by giving him what would only be a fraction of what he deserved to make the king feel better.

But-?! The most powerful- magic incarnate- whatever that's supposed to mean- was not a joke! Merlin was not evil, that was old news. But- but- a servant? Why would someone with so much power be a servant? To a snotty prince that treated him like garbage and then a king with whom he had far too much homoerotic tension. One could already guess but Arthur was getting there.

"So- he's- he's basically a king in his own right." Gaius nodded his head, a bit of a sway in the motion. He was still holding onto Arthur's arms. Arthur was blinking fast and swallowing and maybe shaking a little.

"You could think of it that way. Though his duty is to serve you." There was a small part of Gaius that did enjoy stirring the pot. Being at the center of the drama was entertaining at least.

"His duty is to...," Arthur shook his head again, "...why would an all-powerful sorcerer serve me, serve any king?" Be under his rule, yes that made sense. Polish his boots? Ah, but even knowing this, Arthur would ask him again to kneel in front of him, make some glib comment about his general appearance, and then...

That was not the train of thought to be on, at the moment. Arthur flushed thinking back on the kiss(es). Merlin had the ability to flat iron him if he wanted, and he hadn't. This was an entirely different perspective. If it wasn't really an abuse of power, and Merlin was still mopping his floors- well. There was one explanation. There were others as well, but Arthur didn't want to dwell on that.

If there was a small chance... it would change everything.

Arthur shot up from the chair, knocking Gaius off balance. He held onto him and righted him quickly, before making a run for it. Gaius rolled his eyes; the young king was such a drama queen.

"Sire?"

"It would change everything!" What is that idiot going on about now?


........


"Merlin!" The castle inhabitants were accustomed to the king yelling after his servant after all these years. However, the kingdom currently had guests. Usually, the king would refrain from yelling like a bratty child when trying to impress visitors, but at the moment manners were the farthest thing from his mind. In his defence, he was not yelling like a bratty child. He was yelling like a parched man after water.

Forgive me for the romance, but he had never felt this way before. He was desperate. His servant was always hard to find when he didn't want to be found. Arthur figured he was out doing magic whenever he was at the 'tavern' and had stopped asking so many questions. Merlin deserved time to himself, for his world did not revolve around Arthur. Except, it did. Merlin could go to the ends of the Earth and his thoughts wouldn't stray far from the king.

Arthur did not know this, but he was thinking about it. If Merlin felt a fraction of what he did- it changed everything. The king was not strong enough to throw that away for his kingdom. It wasn't as if Camelot would collapse without his marriage to the princess. Though, if one wanted food for thought, even if Camelot would collapse... Arthur was a buzzing mess.

He had never had anything for himself. Not like this. If Merlin wanted him- Arthur was flushed head to toe.

"Merlin! God, where is that idiot?" Arthur really should have asked Gaius where Merlin was before he stormed out.

He stopped in the middle of the corridor as if hitting a wall. Maybe it was a good thing that Merlin wasn't around. He had time to think, about what he wanted to say, about what he wanted period. If he went to Merlin like this, he might not even get any words out.

He put his hands to his face and rubbed at his too warm cheeks.


........


"Arthur!" Merlin ran into his chambers. That was the beauty of their relationship, if you waited long enough, one would go running for the other. Arthur was serenely staring out the window, a small smile on his face. Merlin was red, from running or from thinking too hard- one couldn't guess.

The king turned at the exclamation, his smile static on his lips. Merlin was breathing hard, his face twisting in confusion. Arthur was looking into his eyes. The longer the two spent staring, though only a few moments for sure, the more Merlin's brain short-circuited.

The kiss was still on his mind, and looking at him now, it was hard not to glance down at the king's lips. His own felt far too self-aware. He licked at them. Arthur unabashedly looked down at them, and took his sweet time looking back up. This was within five seconds, tops, before Merlin was yelling again.

"You called off the engagement!" While Merlin was borderline hysterical, King Arthur was quite suave at the moment. Cool, collected, he smirked; that is to say, mischief coloured his eyes.

"Quite observant, Merlin. You should be a detective." I don't give a shit if detectives weren't a thing back then.

"Arthur." He swallowed, blinking fast. God only knows what he was thinking of then, but perhaps the Triple Goddess would tell you he wasn't thinking of anything. Sometimes kids, when life gets difficult, it's easier to disassociate so hard that you hardly exist.

He bit his lip then, which was just bold at this point. Arthur looked at his mouth again, the smile slipping off and a frustrated frown taking its place.

"Merlin, if you're trying to make it difficult to focus, it's working. Stop biting your lip." He slapped his upper arm. Of course, when the sexual tension gets tough, engage in horseplay.

"It was unanimously decided that it would be best for Camelot if we courted."

"What?!" Merlin ungracefully sputtered his words, spit flying onto Arthur's face. The king looked to the ceiling, wiped his face with one palm, and glared at him.

"Catch up, Merlin, would you. I know you aren't verbose by nature, but somewhere in that empty head of yours there should be words."

Merlin scratched the back of his neck, looking away. His face was already red, but if it weren't, one would have seen a blush crawl onto his face as the situation dawned on him.

"Arthur, you, we- we can't court!"

Arthur harrumphed. "And why not?"

Merlin threw his hands up in the air, "because-! Because I'm a servant."

Arthur smirked harder; his face scrunched into a grinch like snarl. Coming up with excuses, was he?

"Doesn't matter." The king crossed his arms, watching Merlin look everywhere but at him as if physically searching for an answer. Merlin was panicking; he covered his mouth with one hand and blew into it. This wasn't the ideal time and place to tell him about his magic. He hadn't even wrapped his mind around Arthur- courting?!

"I- but I'm a man."

"I don't care." Arthur really enjoyed seeing Merlin struggle.

"We won't be able to have children, you need heirs." This was a good, logical reason that Merlin could hide behind.

"We can adopt some." Arthur was unfazed. Children would be what, at least five years down the line?

"Arthur," Merlin huffed, exasperated. He grabbed the king's shoulders.

"I'm a warlock. I have magic."

"Nobody's perfect."

"WHAT?!" Merlin pushed his away, pulling his arms close to his chest. "What?! You knew?"

Arthur laughed, throwing his head back and everything. Merlin did NOT watch the length of his neck as he did so, mesmerized.

"Merlin, I don't know everything." His eyes were shining, and he was really, really happy. Merlin had not admitted to anything, but it was pretty clear that courting Arthur wasn't what he had a problem with.

The king took a step closer, grasping the boy's hands in his own. Merlin was still, shocked, jaw dropped, staring at him.

"But I know you. Any other objections?" His head tilted to the side as he asked, his eyebrows raised defiantly.

"You're a prat, you-" Whatever words Merlin was going to say were muffled by Arthur's face smashing into his. It was a real shame, too. He had a few things he had the mind to say, but then his hands were in Arthur's obnoxiously shiny hair, and Arthur's arms were on his waist, and he had forgotten.


........


Gideon had a large sack of coins.

"Lance gets 10, Gwaine gets 20. Morgana you get your 40, and Gaius... 200." The group burst into commotion.

"200! Gaius- what-" Leon was gawking at the older man, as he calmly sipped his tea. Gaius had a strip of cloth holding his hair back from his face and had some cream slathered onto his face. Morgana and Merlin were matching him, having decided to have a 'sorcerers' night' together. There were interrupted by the rest of Camelot's inner circle barging in to deal with this betting pool once and for all.

"He hit the nail on the head... and he bet so much money too..." Gideon grumbled. He would've made money on this venture if Gaius had just bet more reasonably. He put 50 on after Merlin's magic reveal and 50 on after Arthur's coronation.

Gaius smirked at the knight, unbothered. Leon couldn't help but stare at the clumpy, sticky stuff on the man's face.

"You have a little..." He pointed to his own cheek.

Gaius raised an eyebrow, "It's a face mask. Oats and honey."

Leon grimaced. There was something unappetizing about the image.

Merlin laughed and offered his teacup back to Morgana, who dutifully poured more of the spiked fruity drink she made. He then offered the full cup to Leon, who took a cautious sip.

"Leon, want to try one? It makes your skin soft." The older knight looked around alarmed.

"It looks like there's vomit on your face." That would be Elyan, who was still disgruntled that he had lost his money.

"That's just his face." And here was his dear boyfriend, who was endlessly romantic and not at all an ass.

The king stuck his tongue out at Merlin, as he playfully glared at him, mouthing threats of castrations. A lovely couple.

"Ugh, I should've bet more." Gwaine was the one groaning, despite his winnings. Percival passed him a teacup of punch.

"Thanks, babe." Percival looked at Gwaine, puzzled, mouthing babe silently. Gideon ignored them.

"I didn't make any money!" He huffed. Gwen ruffled the boy's hair.

"The point isn't to make money, it's to have fun!" Gwaine and Elyan groaned in unison.

Gwen glared at them. "That's the thanks I get for bringing honey cakes?"

Morgana came up from behind the maiden and wrapped her arms around her, some of Gwen's hair sticking to the concoction on her face. Lancelot's eyes widened, and he chugged his teacup.

"I'll give you a proper thank you."

"Morgana, dear, you're inebriated." Meanwhile, Arthur had made his way to sit beside his boyfriend. He leaned in, and instead of aiming for his mouth, licked his cheek. His face twisted thoughtfully, an appreciative sound thrumming in his throat.

"It actually tastes good." Leon had to look away, his hand at his throat.


........


Gideon was watching, along with Gwaine and Lancelot from the gazebo in the gardens. They were munching on tea cakes.

"Are you sure-"

"Shh!" Gideon shushed Gwaine, as he saw Arthur walking through the gardens with Merlin. Gideon had informed the two of them of the plans he had heard from the two of them.

To his understanding, this was their anniversary of meeting. It had been a few months now since the two began courting, and Camelot was well. Magic had finally been repealed, and it was quite anticlimactic. Gwen was made a knight, Morgana the court's official magic users' advisor on rights and legislation. Merlin was court sorcerer on all threats and a dragonlord with a few dragons to boot. He was also Arthur's boyfriend, which was a full-time job.

It was a timid, but warm fall evening and the trees by which the couple were walking were red and orange and scattering leaves everywhere.

"Merlin, I-"

"Arthur." Merlin took one of Arthur's hands to hold between his two clasped together. Gideon crossed his fingers.

Merlin knelt down; Arthur's fingers still just barely curled over his own hand. Arthur's eyebrows furrowed, a small suspicious frown on his face.

"I- I don't know what to tell you. I love you. Will you marry me?" Arthur's face passed through a serious of emotions, some of which could be recognized.

"Will you marry me?!" He yelled at Merlin, far more upset than he should be.

Merlin was beyond confused. "Yes?? That's why I'm asking." Why was he so upset?

Gideon was snickering with the two knights. Well, Lance wasn't laughing. He was respectfully watching the two in their private moment and stuffing more tea cakes into his mouth.

Gideon had expected something great was going to happen when they had both told him separately that they were planning on proposing on the same day. Looks like Merlin beat him to it.

Arthur took a ring out of pocket, exasperated as he realized he had been too slow. He all but threw his mother's ring at him.

"I can't believe you beat me to it. Did Gideon tell you?!"

"Did Gideon tell me what- oh, no did you plan to ask me-"

"God, Merlin, of course, you'd ruin the one romantic gesture I had planned-"

"Hey- wait are we engaged now or-"

"Shut up, Merlin!" They threw their arms around each other and kissed until the sun left the sky.

It was an awkward trip for the three of them back to the castle.

FIN

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