A princess was coming to visit Camelot. King Uther had been pressuring Arthur to be on his best behaviour, for this princess was not one to be courted. In all honesty, the prince wasn't convinced that it wasn't a play to get him interested. He did tend to want what he could not have (his manservant in case that was not clear).

"I do have a lot of admirers. When I was younger a lot of princesses would come visit. I expect one of these days father will attempt to get me married to one of 'em." The prince was babbling while Merlin was taking off his chainmail. Merlin wouldn't dare say, but Arthur's pouts were very cute.

"I find it odd that he's specifically requested not to court this one. I had not verbally expressed any interest in doing so. I haven't even seen the princess yet." King Uther was under this ridiculous notion that his son was a lady's man, unaware that he was... otherwise inclined.

Arthur liked women, he did. He just had his head so far up Merlin's asshole he couldn't see straight. He'd one day settle down, marry a nice princess, birth a hundred little babies and be perfectly happy.

Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen.1

"Perhaps he thought you were getting desperate." His manservant pulled on the laces holding his gambeson together, to emphasize the jab. Arthur glared at him; an eyebrow raised.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Merlin?" Arthur was left in his undershirt that left little to the imagination. Merlin was facing away, arranging his garments.

"Just that, maybe you've been lonely. Hard to find company with a face like yours, my lord." Merlin shot a look at the prince. The entirety of Camelot knew he was lying. Arthur didn't struggle to find company because he never looked for it (he was too busy looking for his idiot servant). Merlin went weak at the knees at the prince's smile. Everyone had their own secrets.

Arthur leaned on one hip, a sultry smile on his face. "Not all of us can be so popular with the ladies. It's normal to feel inadequate in my presence."

"Sire, if I may. Merlin has a lot of admirers." One could not imagine what possessed Gideon to speak at that moment. He just blurted it out, as if it pained him to try otherwise. Both men looked to the boy, who they had almost forgotten was there. They were both red in the face.

Gideon did not realize the gravity of what he had done. It no longer mattered; he couldn't take it back.

"What?! Who?" Prince Arthur glared accusingly at the boy as if it were somehow his fault. Merlin's mouth was parted, but he had yet to come up with an intelligent sound. The dim wit did not know he had any admirers at all.

"I could not tell you who, sire. That's confidential." Of the three, there was not one of them who did not wish for this conversation to end.

"Well." Arthur huffed. He thought it would be productive and very manly if he cuffed Merlin on the back of the head. Of course, one could not doubt his highness' proclivities now that he had engaged in a display of violence (and thinly veiled excuse to touch the boy). No homoerotic tension was a match for: Manliness.

Merlin let out a disgruntled sound. "Why'd you hit me for? It's not my fault I'm cute!"

"You're not cute, Merlin. You look like a donkey with those ears of yours." Arthur shrugged off his undershirt, but it got caught around his neck. After stilling for a moment, Merlin moved to assist him.

"Well, at least I don't smell like one."

1you have to read this in Shrek's voice.

........

"Now that Merlin is gone, tell me who fancies him?" Prince Arthur hastily closed the doors to his chambers, having finally caught the boy alone.

"Sire?" Gideon knew that there was no way he had heard the last of their previous conversation, but he thought vainly that if he never brought it up again perhaps the prince would forget.

Prince Arthur had not forgotten, in fact, he had been analyzing everyone's interaction with Merlin since. Merlin has a lot of admirers?! Merlin?! Every smile the boy gave, every overly generous gesture hung over Arthur. Well, maybe it wasn't so crazy to think that one could admire him. He did have a certain charm about him-

But he didn't! Not to Arthur, who had never stared a little too long while Merlin laced up his boots. Who never noticed that Merlin only did his hair before visiting Morgana. Who didn't dare think of the consequences of slamming him up against a wall-

Goodness, no. Why would Arthur do that?

"You said Merlin had a lot of admirers. Who are they?" Arthur didn't have any other agenda for wanting to know, he was simply curious as to who had fallen for such an idiot. Who was the type, he wondered, definitely not glancing at himself in the large mirror in the corner of his chambers.

"My lord, as I told you earlier, I can't tell you." Gideon was hoping the prince didn't pressure him. He didn't think he did well under pressure.

Arthur clenched his fists, not understanding this feeling he had. Why did he want to hunt down every last one of Merlin's admirers and fix the problem? Why was it a problem? What did he have a problem with? The little prince was thinking, but the gears were turning slowly, as to not hurt himself in the process.

He let out of breath he didn't realize he was holding and turned to Gideon. "Does Merlin... reciprocate?" The word felt wrong on his tongue. Part of him couldn't believe he was discussing this behind closed doors, like a young maiden new to the world of boys. You see, young girls could only like discussing romance and boys would only ever think of fighting. It was science.

"..Uh..." Gideon felt his forehead creasing, thrumming painfully. How did he get himself into this mess? By never being able to shut up?

What was he supposed to tell the prince, that Merlin was in love with him? He had not actually gotten a confession on his behalf as of yet, and even if he had it would've been entirely inappropriate considering the betting pool he hosted. He couldn't sway the game this way. But was it cynical to lie?

Gideon could not hear Arthurs beating heart, for if he could he would've called for the physician. He was sweating with a sick sense of dread that the boy would tell him that Merlin had eyes for another. Another? What was that supposed to mean, that he wanted Merlin's eyes for himself? That, surely, couldn't be what he was thinking.

Gideon had found his words.

"I believe he reciprocates someone's feelings, sire. I cannot be sure, nor can I tell you, who."

It was crippling, this cluster fuck of feelings inside his gut. He didn't know what to make of it. It was unfortunate that the gay agenda in the prince was so little understood. Perhaps in another story, he could have realized at that moment that he was thirsting for Merlin, hence jealous. Alas, he came to a different conclusion.

He was jealous because Merlin was his friend, and if his friend had a love interest then that would surely take away from the time they had together. He was also his servant, who had to dedicate his time to serving Arthur. No, Merlin admiring someone would diminish his abilities to do his job and that was unacceptable. Well, that made perfect sense.

He had to stop this, immediately.

........

King Olaf and Lady Vivian have arrived in Camelot. Arthur was not impressed with his first meeting of the lady and has now entirely disregarded his father's warning because he had zero interest.

He was much more focused on who the target of Merlin's affections could be.

He had a few guesses.

Lady Morgana was beautiful, Arthur supposed. Gideon stressed that she was the impersonation of a goddess. The prince couldn't understand it himself, however, since he saw Morgana as a sister. At this time in our story, the lovely sorceress was merely the king's ward. Uther's fuck boy tendencies had not yet been outed.

Still, Arthur felt rather gross checking out Morgana at dinner. There was indeed this veil of perfection that she held herself in- perfect skin, perfect hair. He watched as Merlin's eyes trailed after her figure as he left the dining hall. She was suspect number one.

One couldn't be sure what the prince had in mind for when he had determined Merlin's crush, but as of right now his first priority was finding out who it was.

"Merlin, how do you find the Lady Morgana?" Merlin was walking beside him down the hall. Gideon would later hear this story from both points of view.

"Well, I would start by asking Guinevere where she could be." A muffled slap was heard.

"That hurt!"

"Don't be smart with me. What do you think of her? Do you find her...," Arthur cleared his throat.

"Beautiful? Smart? Elegant? Everything you are not? Yes, my lord." Merlin didn't know what in the world Arthur had expected, but the idiot looked as if he had tasted something rotten. He figured he was looking to tease him and thought that being forthcoming would eliminate any ability to do so. Was he really going to ask if he found her unpleasant? He didn't. Despite the common consensus, he was not blind.

He was a bit blind when it came to his feelings, and Arthur's feelings, and everyone else's feelings for him.

Arthur felt as if he would be sick. "Do you love her?"

The two had stopped in the middle of the hall. Merlin couldn't believe his ears.

"No! God, no. Why do you ask?" For the tiniest moment, something flickered in Merlin's belly. It was true that he was not in love with the Lady Morgana. It was the look on Arthur's face as he asked, one could say almost anguished. For a fraction of second, Merlin allowed himself to live in a fantasy land where the prince didn't want him to love her because it would crush him because maybe-

Because nothing. The thought was over before it started. Merlin didn't care, anyways, if someone were to ask. Why was the prat asking again?

Prince Arthur was in a special brand of torment. He had dug himself into a hole by bulldozing (if such a thing had been invented yet) through preliminary questions to his true intentions. It was a weak move.

But he had been so rattled. Here he was thinking he would have to coax Merlin into admitting that he thought anything nice of Morgana and he had- he had sung her praises! Like it was nothing. Had Merlin every spoken so highly of him? Why, of course not. Why would he.

Except that Merlin did go on and on about how Arthur was noble, and a self-sacrificing idiot, and that his hair was annoyingly shiny, and that he had boundless faith in him to lead Camelot into an era of peace; Gaius could attest to that. It's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

"I'm the prince of Camelot. I don't have to answer to you." Though with less fire than usual, the rebuttal was familiar territory. Merlin made an unattractive sound as he sighed exasperatedly. Arthur wasn't himself today.

Before Merlin could say anything more, Arthur reached out and ruffled the boy's hair, pushing him lazily away from him. "Let us get on, now. I noticed this morning that you stole another one of my sausages off my breakfast tray. I ran an experiment of sorts; you see, I specifically requested three sausages and I only got two. I don't know if you can count that high, Merlin, but there's one missing."

"'all part of the plan to keep you fighting fit, my lord."

........

Sir Leon busted open the door to the armoury to find Merlin chatting with Sir Gwaine and Sir Percival. Perhaps at another time, you would've found the manservant working diligently to shine Prince Arthur's shield, for that was the chore he had been sent to do. However, he found that there was a matter of higher priority- Gwaine saw Lancelot and Guinevere leave a closet... on the dishevelled side.

It was this moment; Gwaine had his hands in the air about to exclaim that they had to tell Elyan, Merlin was leaning forward from his awkward (folding lawn chair style) squat, Percival was leaning backwards having already heard the story (but then Gwaine dragged him along because he had to find Merlin and tell him), and Gideon sitting on the steps almost entirely forgotten.

The door hit the wall with a shocking slam, sending Gideon down a few steps as he tried to save his ass. The lot all looked to Leon. The knight was pale.

"Something's wrong with Arthur!" Everyone stood up, catching onto the gravity of the situation. While Merlin could attest that there were many things wrong with him, he did not think Sir Leon was here to discuss the prince's personality.

"Is he hurt? What happened?" Merlin clutched the shield that he was supposed to be shining with white knuckles.

Sir Leon shook his head. "No, he's," He paused.

Merlin let go of the shield and let it hit the floor, his arms moving to sit on his hips. If Arthur wasn't hurt Merlin wasn't going to lose any sleep over what the idiot had gotten himself into.

"He was picking flowers." Sir Gwaine gasped and took a step back. The princess was picking flowers?! Now he was concerned.

"What's wrong with that?" Sir Percival had not shown much reaction to the whole ordeal, for he was still waiting for the punch line. You see, Percy didn't see anything wrong with a man picking flowers in his spare time, as one should.

Sir Leon swallowed, checking to see if anyone was around, before he whispered back at them, "They were for Lady Vivian."

Merlin's face drained of colour. Shit.

........

"We are gathered here today to discuss the game plan." Or the gay plan, which would have been a more accurate depiction.

Lady Morgana's fingernails trailed across the table, eliciting a pleasant clank. Gideon swallowed.

"Arthur and Lady Vivian are enchanted. Lady Vivian," The lot looked to Morgana's bed, where she lay unconscious, "Is not of concern at the moment, but time is running out."

Sir Elyan put up his hand. "Yes, Elyan?"

"Where is Arthur?"

"Well, now. If you didn't rush me, I would tell you." Morgana held out her hand toward Gwen who seamlessly placed a butter knife in it. She pointed the knife towards the knight.

"Merlin, Lancelot, and Leon have Arthur incapacitated in his chambers. We need you lot," she swung the knife around to look at Sir Percival, Sir Gwaine, Gideon, before stopping at an unfamiliar face.

"Who are you?" The boy was a few years older than Gideon but still had a babyface.

"I'm just a stable boy, my lady." Morgana faltered.

"What are you doing here?"

"Merlin said I could go to stocks or help out." It really was unfortunate that such a humble servant boy had been in the face of confrontation.

Prince Arthur was desperate for his horse, claiming he needed to ride out to find Lady Vivian. He wasn't aware the lady had gone missing. But then his manservant and some knights came running up yelling at the boy to stop the prince at all costs. He couldn't be blamed for knocking the prince out cold. He didn't do well under pressure.

"Alright then," Morgana let the tip of her knife graze Gideon's neck. His poor pubescent brain fried up.

"You are all to distract the kings. Do whatever you have to do. I don't care what you tell Uther, as long as he does not find out magic has been used at the heart of Camelot." The men stood at attention.

"King Olaf is not to find out that the crown prince has been sucking face with his daughter. Are we clear?" Everyone nodded.

Guinevere picked up a sword and shared a look with Morgana. They smiled.

"We ladies have a more sensitive matter to attend to, one that requires a woman's touch. We'll meet back here before dinner. If the two love birds are still enchanted, we will have to use a more grievous strategy."

And if a certain court jester was never seen again, it couldn't possibly be at the hands of some lowly maiden. Everyone knows women can't use swords.

........

"How did you get rid of the enchantment, Merlin?" Gideon cornered the man outside the prince's chambers. He knew he had been avoiding him.

Merlin looked everywhere but at him. He shook his head. Gideon's head wanted to explode.

He had no problem admitting he was the world's most powerful sorcerer, hidden away in a kingdom where magic was illegal, that he spoke to dragons, and committed all types of treason, but he wouldn't tell Gideon how he got rid of Arthur's enchantment? Oh, it ate at him. The boy didn't understand the internal conflict Merlin faced at the moment.

He knew Merlin didn't use his magic because he had been there to see the boy attempt to. Killing the man who placed the enchantment didn't work either. So, what could he have done?

Merlin prayed his face did not flush.

"It was a fluke." Gideon's eyes narrowed. He was not so foolish to think that the situation had just fixed itself.

The manservant was still processing the events that had transpired but a day ago. How could one blame the boy for avoiding the truth? Kilgharra had mentioned some ridiculous possibility- that true love saves all and that brand of crap- and Merlin had-

Well, Merlin did what he had to do. Arthur had collapsed and complained of a headache afterwards, appearing not to remember what had happened under the spell.

The prince did remember what had occurred under the spell, but it was dreamlike in quality. So much so, that he could not be certain that he hadn't made it all up in his head.

"Merlin!" Both boys could hear the prince call for him. Gideon poked Merlin hard in the ribs.

"You've gotten away with it this time. But you will tell me."

Merlin swallowed. The threat looming over him.

Oh, but how could he tell him that he had kissed the prince? Surely, in some twisted way, that was his worst offence against the crown. Arthur actually might execute him.

But then again, probably not, because the kiss had worked.

........

"Merlin quit shifting about." The two were riding out with some other knights to check out a complaint in the lower towns. Some bandits or sorcery or something that had Uther sitting with his asshole clenched.

"We've been riding a long time." Merlin kept shifting because his legs had grown numb.

"Is your little bottom sore?" It would be very in character for the young prince to comment on the boy's little bottom. It didn't matter if a few of the knights had rolled their eyes, for no one would be paying attention to them. You couldn't prove it afterwards.

"Yes. It's not as fat as yours." Arthur scoffed, no doubt readying a sassy comeback, or perhaps some reminder that he was the crown prince and Merlin couldn't speak to him like that.

And here we see that yet another fortnight has passed in Camelot; none the wiser that anything may have transpired. No wind storm had torn through the citadel, no corpse risen from the dead. Practically speaking, an intimate moment that may or may not have occurred between his lordliness and our young warlock had no consequence. Who would be there to know that their feelings were starting to take tangible shape?

Arthur still did not know who Merlin admired. Merlin had begun to think that there was someone he did admire. But only a little bit, and it was a strong maybe. Luckily for the two, or in a manner that could be deemed equally unfortunate, they had silently agreed to not think about it (lest they hurt themselves).

Our two protagonists ride off under the guise of ignorance.