❛ 20 ─── EX. ༉‧₊˚✧

" YOU'RE TOXIC. IT'S ANNOYING
AND FUCKING HARD TO DEAL WITH. "

ᝰ

"shouto..."

"hi." todoroki kicked his feet against the floor a couple times before looking up at midoriya, "uhm. i was just- we aren't on speaking terms, but i wanted to say hi. so, hi."

midoriya stared at him apathetically, blinking once, twice, glancing around almost confused, and then nodding.

"okay?" he laughed nervously, "uhm, hey?"

was that it? was he going to invite him inside? was he just going to stare at todoroki, who was five seconds away from a mental breakdown? he wanted to go inside, he wanted to talk to midoriya- one conversation, start over, let everything go back to normal- have midoriya save him again even though-

"shouto." midoriya called for him, firmly and todoroki's eyes snapped to his. "do you wanna come in?"

todoroki nodded. quickly. extremely quickly as he followed his friend inside, closing the door behind him. immediately, he began pacing. the words he had in his head were flying, buzzing through his mind a million miles per second, his thoughts were all over the place, he hadn't planned for this at all-

"uhm, shou? hey, are you okay?" midoriya said, gently. "are- do you want-"

"izuku, i'm sorry." todoroki's voice was tight as he turned to face his friend.

he didn't know exactly what he wanted to say, but now he had midoriya's attention. he was listening, they were staring at each other, and the words simply fell past todoroki's lips.

"i'm sorry for everything, everything i did leading up to this point - every thought i had, every action i did in betrayal to you. i knew it was wrong, but i was selfish and only thought about what i wanted. i constantly tried to justify myself and my reasons, i was making excuses and wasn't taking complete fault for it up until now. i'm sorry for being a bad friend, i'm sorry for asking so much of you - from taking so much and only giving you this mess in return."

"i... oh," midoriya's eyes widened, "shouto. you haven't been a bad friend," he said seriously. though his brows were pulling, lips trembling like he was about to start crying. "we-we all have things we wish we wouldn't have done... it's okay-"

"it's not okay. it's not good. you've helped me time and time again, you help me even when i don't think i need help, when i don't want help and you continue to support me. i can't understand why i did this, i don't know what made me think it was okay or why i acted on it even though i knew-"

todoroki sighed harshly. sometimes he absolutely hated himself.

"i'm going to be selfish again. i'm going to ask something of you and if you want to slap me in the face, i encourage you to use your full power if it angers you. just- please be my friend again."

midoriya blinked, "i never stopped-"

todoroki was shaking, shoulders shrinking in on himself. he wasn't used to this, wasn't used to genuine apologies or feeling weak and dependable on another person.

"please talk to me. please look at me, please sit with me during meals and show me documentaries of your favorite upcoming heroes and give me new techniques. i'm sorry if i- i know i have no right to come in here and ask that of you but i-"

izuku threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around todoroki, burying his face into his neck quickly. "please stop," todoroki's neck was immediately being wet by tears. a feeling he actually... missed. "stop saying you don't have a right- you don't have to ask for anything like that."

when todoroki's arms reached up to wrap around izuku's waist, tugging him closer, pressing his face against his soft curls and sinking to the floor with him, he knew he couldn't be with y/n. romantically or sexually, it wouldn't work- it couldn't. you were right - how fucked up would that be? even if izuku claimed to be over it, even when this situation blew over years later, it was impossible. there was permanent scarring, and he knew about those. they didn't go away.

"i missed you, shouto," izuku cried against him. "i missed you, i'm so sorry we fought- this whole thing-"

"is my fault." todoroki said with a sigh. if he'd just waited, it would've been different.

if he just waited and talked to midoriya when his friend was really over the situation, when they were ready to have that conversation, then it would be fine. but imagine... this situation taking place and months later, you and him become a couple? a few years down the line? no, that'd be wrong.

it would still feel fucked up in some way. perhaps because now there was permanent scarring over this area, it would be left alone to heal, it would scab. if todoroki picked at it, it'd bleed again, so he should just leave it alone.

"this one was my mistake."

he somehow wasn't sad about it. it was done and over with, he didn't want to think about it anymore with his arms wrapped around izuku. he was done thinking about it, done putting energy into it. so, what? he couldn't be with y/n. it was an either or situation, and he'd already given up izuku's friendship once. he vowed to never do it again.

"i'm so sorry, i got so angry with you," midoriya was hiccuping, sobbing, "i've never been so angry and i feel bad bec-because it was just a relationship, a stupid relationship that was over and- something i was still hanging on to and i-" he kept going, he was rambling spewing out nonsense and his feelings.

"stop saying sorry- it was all my fault," todoroki huffed out, stress clouding his mind. it wasn't midoriya's fault- it wasn't, it wasn't and he couldn't make that any clearer. "you had- have every right to be angry, it wasn't stupid just... please, it's fine."

this was enough.

midoriya's forgiveness, his friendship and trust, it was more than enough. trust based friendships lasted longer than toxic, sex based relationships.

being izuku's friend was just fine.

────────

you tapped your hips as you walked down the halls, thinking to yourself, humming softly as you passed the room, "a stupid relationship that was..." you trailed curiously.

yeah, he was kind of right about that, so it wasn't like you could be mad at what he said. you swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked away the burning at the corner of your eyes.

"atoning for your sins?" a gruff voice spoke as you turned a corner. you hummed in response, taking careful and slow steps down the stairs, as he followed closely behind you. "you gonna be okay?" another hum, and the tears brimming your eyes had him groaning, "you're so damn annoying. wipe your pretty face and suck it up."

"i wanted him." you said, knitting your brows.

the two of you walked into the empty kitchen, you on one side of the counter, him opposite you.

"yeah. we don't get the luxury of getting whatever the fuck we want." bakugou set his palms on the table, looking at you; staring. "you fixed what you broke. that's what you do when you fuck up."

your face twisted and burned hot with tears, "but i wanted him."

"yeah. so? deku wanted you." bakugou narrowed his eyes. "if deku doesn't have you anymore and you don't have icyhot, then they go back to having each other. and you go back to leaning on me like some kind of emotional support for your toxic, fucked up self."

you blinked up at him, breath stuttering, "don't call me-"

"you're toxic. it's annoying and fucking hard to deal with. especially when you end up like," bakugou gestured to the mess that you were, waving his arm. "whatever the hell this is."

you sniffled, bringing your hands to your face, wiping at your tears. "but..."

"but i've got you. cause things went to shit. and that's what friends do when shitty relationships don't last."

right. that's what you were doing before. being bakugou's best friend seemed like such a trivial thing now that you'd thought about it. you were sure he would've turned a blind eye the moment you started dating midoriya. but you supposed, that isn't something friends do. he was waiting.

of course he was- you were so stupid.

"...katsuki. i-i'm sorry," you stepped toward him, blinking through your tears. "i'm so sorry- you have to deal with me and clean up after my mess and-"

"i don't care."

he grabbed at the paper towels on the table, dabbing them at your wet, messy face in irritation.

"god, you're a fucking disaster. you think i'm not used to this? used to cleaning up after you damn mess? i can deal with you, that's not an issue. i can't deal with whatever the fuck this is. it's pathetic. stop crying and get over yourself already. you did this. face it and stop ignoring your own weaknesses."

you bit your lip to stop your crying, leveling your face and calming your breathing. stop crying. he was right. of course he was right, he was bakugou. he learned from the mistakes he made, but for some reason, you never did.

your fists clenched at your sides and you swallowed, finding your voice. "you're right." you said through a shaky exhale. "i need to get over myself."

"yeah." bakugou tossed aside the paper towels, then hooked his arm around yours, "come on, already. let's go punch stuff."

that was enough- this was enough. your friend waiting for you after your long, very well thought out plan had crumbled at the seams all because you couldn't stand seeing a friendship break at your hands. and to think you'd almost broken the one you had with katsuki... he was too stubborn to let that happen. strong, loyal friendships lasted longer than twisted, toxic relationships. so this was good, too.

being katsuki's friend was just fine.

- END.

if you have any questions about the story- aSK THEM!! i will answer <3

uhm im not sure if i'll write an epilogue? maybe?? i don't know...

here's an explanation if you guys are confused: katsuki is the real mvp of this story, period.

katsuki and y/n were best friends at some point and he was aware of her habits, toxic behavior, and who she was as a person, it's why he didn't approve of her and midoriya, but he went with it anyway.

y/n actually lost interest in izuku very early on in the relationship and was subconsciously looking for a way to get closer to shouto - izuku's thoughts were right. she didn't notice herself. the moment that happened, katsuki noticed and removed himself from the situation, as he didn't want to be apart of whatever y/n was about to do.

he decided to wait until everything fell apart, which he knew it would ( he also knew if he tried to tell y/n what he thought, she wouldn't listen and there'd be a fallout between them ), and be there as y/n's friend by the end of all of it.

that's what this story was about; the relationship was never meant to work out, rather show the toxic-ness of lying to your friend and doing something similar to this in general. y/n was slowly revealing herself as toxic, todoroki slowly became toxic, but only when he's with her.

overall, this wasn't a fun situation. i wanted you guys to feel uncomfortable and guilty and nervous while reading this! i wanted you to not be on todoroki or y/n's side even though it was all in their perspective.

all of the small hints at katsuki's support was due to the previous friendship he was waiting to go back to mwuah <3

anyways, love you guys!! thank you for reading, please be sure to check out my other works and follow me to show your support!!