❛ 19 ─── EX. ༉‧₊˚✧
last two chaps !! i love u guys sm !

" DID YOU GUYS GET
BACK TOGETHER? "

ᝰ

deep breaths. deep breaths. deep breaths.

todoroki raised his hand to knock on midoriya's door, only to lower it. he raised it again - and then lowered it, once more... the breathing techniques were no longer working.

he still felt panicked and had the strong urge to set himself on fired and maybe burn.

midoriya didn't want to see him. bakugou told him to fix midoriya, but there was no way to do that at the moment- he needed space, he shouldn't be there right now, anyway.

todoroki shook his head, pulling away from the door and took stiff steps down the hall. maybe he needed a plan beforehand... something other than 'see midoriya and talk to him.' which was the only thing he told himself in his head...

todoroki stilled when he heard a door open and close, turning his head to see it was to midoriya's room and - you stepped out of it.

you were biting your lip and wiping at your eyes, head down until you realized todoroki was also in the hall. todoroki frowned and you sniffled, scrubbing at your face, furrowing your brows, "what are you doing?" you snapped.

shouldn't he be the one asking that?

todoroki leveled his face, arms stiff at his side as he spoke, "nothing of importance." he answered. "what were you doing in izuku's room? is he in there?"

"obviously he's in there," you said, wrapping your arms around yourself and continuing forward, past him. "it doesn't matter what i was doing."

todoroki frowned and followed you closely, "it does matter. what were you doing? what happened? did... did you guys... get back together?"

"shut up, todoroki. god, why do you ask so many questions?" you opened the door to your room, pulled it open and slammed it shut in his face, making him jump. todoroki didn't notice when you guys reached the girl's side of the dormitories, but he stood, staring at the door, confused.

did he ask too many questions? todoroki knocked on your door a couple times, "i didn't mean to annoy you." he said against the door. "i just... wanted to know before i made a decision."

it was quiet for a moment before your door clicked open, "what decision are you talking about?"

"i'll tell you if you tell me what you were doing in izuku's room?"

you stared at him for a second before rolling your eyes and pulling the door open for him to step inside. he took a seat at your desk and you sat on your bed, looking to your side.

"i was apologizing to him. before... we never really gave him a proper apology, i think. well, at least i didn't. i thought... he deserved an explanation and... he was just so upset that i didn't want to say anything about it. he was- i think he's just... sad right now." you shook your head. "but i don't- okay, just tell me about your decision."

todoroki pondered if he should ask about izuku instead, but you would probably snap at him. maybe. he honestly still couldn't read you. you were too unpredictable, too inconsistent, he never knew what reaction you'd give or when.

"the decision is actually about you and izuku." todoroki said, pressing his lips. "i wanted your opinion on... us or this before going forward... because when i apologize, things might be-"

"us? ...todoroki, you do realize... you can't have both, right?" you said, squeezing your fingers when todoroki pulled his brows. "well i just mean - no matter how we go about this, izuku's gonna feel wronged because of what we've already done. how do you think he'd feel if a few months after all this settled down... we tell him we're dating? isn't that all still a little fucked? it's not a 'when this happens' situation. it's either or. if you get one thing, you can't have the other. losing one is inevitable."

"losing one is... but l/n... if we just..." and just like that, he didn't even know what he was saying himself. his words wouldn't make sense compared to what you had just stated. "i didn't think it would... i just -" he couldn't collect his thoughts.

"are you planning on apologizing to izuku?"

todoroki frowned. "yes. that's what i was trying to do before... i still haven't really made things right, like you said, and..."

"then go do that right now." you sighed, pressing your fingers to your temples. "you're having a hard time understanding that i've been getting in the way of the both of you for a while. so i'll make it easy for you, and i'll remove myself from the situation. now you can go and do what you need to do."

"i don't... understand what you mean." todoroki's head fell to the side in question. "what are- are you trying to tell me-"

you pushed yourself from your bed with a loud sigh that cut him off, slowly making your wav over to your door and gesturing for todoroki to follow.

"what i'm saying is i don't want a relationship with you. i don't even know why i said that before- i'm not a relationship person. i don't like them, they don't work for me, and i don't want one. there is no decision to make now, right? you can leave now..."

you were rushing him out. why? why were you doing that, why did your mood and reason suddenly change?

"why are you doing that?" todoroki's fingers curled into his fist, biting on the inside of his cheek, ignoring the fact that you opened the door for him to walk out. "i know you're lying. there's no reason to- you don't have to remove yourself from anything, l/n-"

"well, if i'm telling you i don't want to be with you... then you can't force me to, right?" you gently pushed him forward, just a small step out of your room and smiled. "we knew this wouldn't work from the beginning. and we both deserve our shitty situation right now. this is just us facing the consequences of our actions, it's neither one of our faults because it's both our faults, kay? i'll see you later, todoroki."

quite gently, the door closed.