Japan

4,569 years since initial death

"What the hell is all this?"

Merlin glared around the office. It was just red. Red walls, neon red frames, red shelves, red seats, a red coffee table, red floor. Even the doctor who was awaiting his arrival was dressed in a shiny red suit.

On the shelves were relics of his past. Miniature pyramids, a Spartan helmet, an arrow, and even a plastic replica of his favorite curved sword. On the bottom was an Italian WW1 helmet.

"Take a seat, Mister Setiman." The Asian female doctor gestured towards the couch in the center of the room. She gave a warm smile, helping to reassure her patient and keep him comfortable.

Merlin slowly approached her, keeping his suspicious attitude. "How did you even know that red is my color? Better yet, is this some sort of tactic to make me feel at home?"

He never got a response. Instead he sat down on the red couch and noticed the vale of red roses on the desk.

Maintaining direct eye contact ahead with her, he started to speak again. "Listen here sushi roll, you can cut the quiet and mysterious act around me. It doesn't make you intimidating, nor does it scare me. Jesus, I don't even know why I agreed to this. I don't need therapy, rather you'll need a therapist after you're done with me. That's if you'll even believe what I have to say."

"Try me." She showed confidence in her response, quickly proving him wrong.

His glare softened, now turning his expression curiously. On the red desk in front of them was a name-tag belonging to the therapist sitting beside the roses. The name read 'Mai-Wei'.

"Sure thing pal, but we're doing this my way." Merlin could tell what the name was implying and he decided to play along. "I faced it all, and you'll find that I'm still standing tall."

She kept her smile, never changing her expression nor attitude. "Clever observation Mister Setiman. But I must ask, you're not standing by choice; are you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your life. You're not content with it, but you can't end it. It's morally wrong, but it's also impossible." Her response sounded strange, and he was beginning to catch on.

"Is there something you know that you're not telling me, Miss Sinatra?" Merlin leaned forward, staring at her in anticipation.

"I believe you should know the answer to that by now, Mister Setiman. And please, call me Wei." She emphasized his surname, just to prove it.

"So she told you, didn't she? Valerie told you about me and my name. I guess she also told you I'm immortal. Isn't that right, Wei?"

"If that's what you choose to believe, then so be it. But we are here to discuss your past and mentality. I want to begin with your origins. The events that unfolded, which inevitably led to your current wellbeing."

Merlin snickered at her, choosing to now lean back and become comfortable. "Since you already seem to know, then it should come to no surprise that I was born almost five thousand years ago in the heart of Egypt."

"Mister Setiman, I am a psychoanalyst. Nothing you say will come as a surprise, I have learned to accept it."

"But have you learned to believe it?"

Wei was slightly caught off guard by his immediate answer. But she didn't let that sway her off course. Her confidence is solid, nothing can change that. "That remains to be seen."

"I have traveled the world in search of answers for my curse. I've met figures you've only ever heard of in the history books. There is nothing I have not seen nor experienced. I never asked for any of it. So yeah, I'm still standing and it's not by choice. But nothing I've ever done has changed that."

"Do you appreciate your gift in any way, or see any benefits from it?"

Merlin glared back at her, raising an eyebrow. "What benefits? All I've ever tried to do for the past couple centuries is kill myself! Suicide is one of my favorite hobbies, alright? It's not even out of depression or regret anymore, I do it because it's fun being a masochist. It's fun scaring the hell out of people when they think I'm dead. And what else do I have left to live for exactly? I can't wait so long just for it to end. Do you have any idea how that must feel? Give it a hundred or so years, I'll forget who you were by the time you're dead."

"There must be something to celebrate with a power such as immortality."

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow." Like what, exactly? You don't know how it feels. You're not immortal, not unless there's some eighth secret sin I haven't heard about."

"We have the technology to simulate history right before our eyes in a vast 360 degree environment. Yet so many individuals still wish for time travel to see the 'real thing' as they say. You had the chance to truly experience culture that is extinct in the modern world."

"Yeah, I guess I did. I got to see how easy it is to shove a spear through someone's skull. I was able to witness cities fall apart in fire as people were rendered insane. It must be real nice to stand in the frontline of a battlefield and listen to the sounds of screaming, dismemberment, explosions, gunfire, agony, suffering, death and so much destruction! Oh I was so lucky wasn't I?! Fucking terrific!"

He had started clapping his hands loudly and violently, raising his voice throughout his dialogue the more he listed his experiences. Wei could see just how troublesome his behavior is, and how easily aggravated he can become. Instead of calming him down, she allowed him to continue.

"Sure, it must be nice to stop by and smell the flowers while I stare at a mountain or something. I can share such a precious moment with my loving wife. Oh but wait! What's that? She's dead? Boo hoo, not like that's ever happened before in my life! I can stack a tower with the skulls of all my past wives and lovers! I know I should stop with the whole dating and marriage thing, but I can't help myself! No one should live alone forever, certainly not me!"

"Heartbreak is only natural. I understand how difficult it can be."

Merlin broke down in laughter for a moment. "You understand! Haha, please Wei, you flatter me. Truly, your words have helped me traverse past the implications of trauma. Praise be halle-fucking-lujah!"

He stood up with his arms spread, forcing him to continue to scream at the top of his lungs. "The benevolence! You're so kind and understanding aren't you? Allow me to offer you my applause, you self-entitled motherfucker! You think you understand my pain? Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Wei ignored his outburst, maintaining a relaxed position. "I take it that this trauma is what enabled your anger?"

"It enabled it?" He began to calm down as he sat back down slowly. "No, my anger is what caused the trauma to begin. If I could control it, so many things could have turned out differently. Without it, I could have kept some of my friends. I could have stayed and lived happily with whatever time I had with my loved ones. But I had to ruin it. I had to murder so many people for peace, and all it ever led me to was more brutality and bloodshed."

"I understand that you have many regrets. But how will you proceed to avoid repeating mistakes?"

"Don't we all have regrets, Wei? I'm sorry but even now I make major errors. I try over, and over, and over again to stop myself from losing control. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just- I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm controlling myself better, I'm not murdering for fun or boredom like the sadist I am, which is huge for me today. It's just losing my temper so easily; that's always been a problem."

"Right now Mister Setiman, capture this moment permanently. Your current posture, your speech and thoughts. This is the sort of man you should strive to be."

Merlin froze in place, looking back at her in silence. She was right.

"This is how I used to be." He spoke softly with a melancholy attitude in his voice. "Back in Egypt, I used to treat everyone with kindness and respect. I never raised my voice. I never lifted a finger against anyone. Even after my immortality, I showed compassion to those who respected me. Or at least, I tried to. There were rare times where I lashed out against those that I loved."

"Welcome back to reality, Mister Setiman." Wei smiled again, believing she finally got to him. "It's good to speak to you properly. It must feel wonderful to be free again from your own confinement."

"Yeah, thank you." For the first time, Merlin smiled back at her. He felt a sense of relief. "It's quite refreshing really. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling like this. I grab a bite to eat, catch up on my shows or play a game to take my mind off of any stress. There's not a single care in the world, it just feels good to be alive like everyone else around me. Work however; I mean let's be honest here. Who doesn't want to rip someone's head off after a rough day at work?"

They shared a wholesome moment of laughter with one another. This is just what he needed to relax, and it felt great to finally achieve it. No more headaches from arguments, just a civilized discussion with someone who can take him seriously.

"I'm really happy for you, Mister Setiman. Your anger can be very difficult to control, but you've just proven that as long as you still hold on to a sense of humanity; you can always keep yourself in control."

"A very long time ago, I had friends help keep my anger under control. It worked from time to time, just until someone would come along and piss me off. Valerie was the final straw for me. She led me down the worst path of my life. Every time I see her, I just lose myself but I have to resist it."

"What caused your relationship with Valerie to fall apart?"

He hesitated briefly. "Well, it all started after Madrid. We were once happily married back in 1350. But then we got separated for years. We had no idea of each other's immortality. My time without her ruined me and it rendered me bloodthirsty. By the time we met again, I wasn't ready to rekindle. Sure we loved each other again after some time but it was never the same. None of it was."

Wei nodded. "After hundreds of years, anyone would be hesitant in making such a decision on continuing their relationship. You're not alone in that matter. Maybe alone in the time difference, but certainly not with your mentality."

Merlin paused after her comment, something seemed to have struck a nerve. "Right."

"But please, let's place the focus back on you. You said you're working, what's your job?"

"I'm a historian, for obvious reasons of course. I moved here from Germany, and I've got a beautiful woman waiting for me back home. I teach both history and language to my students at a school near Frankfurt. It's all just simple everyday type of work I do. It helps take my mind off of things and makes me feel normal."

Wei had positioned herself far more comfortably in her seat. She was enjoying listening to him speak fairly. "I think that's wonderful. And you know, I really have to thank you. I've learned a lot about you today to write a clear evaluation. Typically we'd have more sessions, but my schedule's tight. So I'd like to move on and discuss your identity. I know that Merlin is an alias. If it makes you feel any better, Wei isn't my real name either. Mai-Wei works well with branding and marketing."

"So, what do you want to know? Just my name?"

"No Mister Setiman, I want it all. From the beginning, I need to hear you say who you are. Your personality, your strengths and weaknesses; anything that helps paint the perfect picture of who you truly are."

"Where would I even begin?" Merlin chuckled to himself, thinking it over.

"Whenever you're ready."

He stared back at her, placing a hand underneath his chin before looking up at the red ceiling. "I'm just a normal person. I like to consider myself a hero when I fight to save the innocent and the helpless. But I know other times, I'm nowhere close to being a hero. I've ruined more lives than I've saved. There's no one to blame but myself."

Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I was once a man named Maalik Seti of the Fourth Dynasty of Egypt. Perhaps that man is still alive, and he's seated before you today. But one thing is for sure, he's died multiple times before. He's experienced more trauma and emotions than anyone ever should in a hundred lifetimes. It's just hard for him. Time and time again, he's beaten to the ground. Can you really blame him for fighting back so hard when he's lost it all?"

Wei listened, writing along in her pad as Merlin talked. "I know just how harsh I've become. Nothing I say or do now can change what I've done. I can never bring back those I've recklessly killed. Their precious lives taken away because of my unstable emotions. I take full accountability for all of it, and I'm sorry. It's what Maalik would do. He would learn to do better and avoid bloodshed."

He paused momentarily, trying not to break down. "As for his family, I don't know what they'd think of him. God, I have trouble remembering some of them. I just know this isn't what they wanted for me. Sometimes when I lose control, I just think of them and it either makes things better or worse. What kills me is that I don't even know which family to think of. I've had so many of them that I don't know who's the most important to remember."

"Of course, I remember my first family from Egypt. I can remember some friends from my time in Europe. All the happy memories we shared out in the green fields. It was during a time where I had allies to depend on in battle. Close allies that I looked up to. I've even had children of my own, all of whom I've lost now. One of them committed suicide and I don't know why. Meanwhile, one of them grew up to hate me, just because I lied to her for her own protection. I wish she could understand, I had to leave her behind and I missed the most important years of her life."

A tear began to form, and he felt himself about to lose it again. "All I've ever wanted was to raise a child in my own image and be there to see them grow older. But then I hurt them, then I get myself killed and can never return. Or I'm unable to save them. Kara was the only child I ever had that I saw grow old. But even then, I was absent for over half of her life because I was afraid. I've had so many kids with countless women I've slept with over the centuries, but I've never stayed with any of them. As of now, I have no one by my side. Nearly five thousand years, and I'm still alone."

Just as he was slowly breaking down, he continued leaking more of his private life. "There's so much I can discuss, like the time I met a young woman named Emily a very long time ago. She's not someone I like mentioning, but she meant more to me than anyone I've met before throughout the past few centuries. I can describe her in more detail, but that's a story for another time. Though it's not just her I've lost. Most people can barely handle one or two heartbreaks, maybe a few more. But thousands? Millions? How many have I lost?"

By now, his tears were at a steady pace. "I'd do anything to get any one of them back. If I can just go back and change things, I'd make it all better. I'd stay with them rather than leave them behind. I'd save them from death and always be there to escort them to safety. What's the point of being a man if no one can depend on me for anything?"

"But that's the problem. I want them back and I'm willing to do anything for it. I'm ready to start a massacre if it means bringing just one of them back. Can you feel my pain, Wei? Tell me you understand. Tell me I'm not deranged for thinking this way. Come on, just tell me I'm perfectly sane! That I'm in the right to do what I want, even if it means putting a gun to a child's head and pulling the trigger!"

Wei remained quiet, watching him continue his spiral into madness. "I was fine, I was great. But then she shows up! Valerie keeps the truth away from me, and I spent six hundred years taking my frustration out on people who didn't deserve it! But I'm sure you knew that already. I never specified just how long I spent without her, but you knew it was hundreds of years. You knew we had a relationship before I ever mentioned that we were married."

Standing up, he was ready to unleash his wrath. "She told you all of it! Valerie was here, wasn't she, Wei?! I'm sure she told you I'm the devil, but did she tell you who she really is? She manipulated me, took advantage of my emotional state and she caused me to lash out at the world as a result! She crashed a plane just to scar me for life, killing the pilots on board and forcing me to skydive without a parachute into a forest! And she has the audacity to accuse me of being a monster?"

"It was all her! She's behind everything, and I enjoyed driving that dagger into her neck! I would gladly mutilate her apart again if I get the chance, because she doesn't deserve happiness. A hundred years being married and it was miserable! I robbed banks just to keep her sorry ass happy because God forbid she lives without luxury! She can't handle it! Not Valerie, oh no! I can't fucking believe she's older than me yet she has the mentality of a toddler!"

Backing up towards the shelf, he reached for the plastic sword. "And you, you planned this didn't you? You wanted this to happen! You negotiated with Valerie beforehand! That bitch would eat her own kids for the satisfaction alone, and you listen to her? What did she tell you? What the fuck did she say to you about me?! Huh?! This was never about helping me, you just wanted to see if she was speaking the truth! You and your fake smile and persona. Why shouldn't I just behead you right here and now?"

Wei calmly spoke one line. "What would Aisha think of you now?"

That had done it.

He gripped the fake sword tighter, taking one more step towards her. "No, no you did not just go there. You dare mention her name?! Fuck you! Did Valerie tell you that herself, that bitch? Oh you are just like her. You're exactly like her, aren't you?! Just what I needed, two Valeries in my life! I kill one, and another takes her place! Only this one somehow has the balls to mention my first daughter's name to my face. You're dead pal. I will butcher you in your sleep, you can never be safe!"

Merlin violently threw the sword at the therapist, watching it simply bounce off of her and fall to the floor pathetically. He wanted to strangle this woman and execute her, but a part of him tried to calm down. Hearing his daughter's name seemed to have that effect on him.

Choosing to end this confrontation here, he turned to leave and walked towards the door. Just as he was about to exit, Wei decided to speak up. "This has given me all I needed to know. Thank you for your time, Mister Setiman."

That caused him to become violent again. Forming a fist, he let out a scream as he punched the wall beside the door. Punch after punch, he formed a crack in the walls as small pieces were chipped away. His blood stained the wall. Due to his rage, his hand had already started to produce a scarlet hue as his healing process began. His own wrath healed him just so he could continue the madness.

Security had entered the room, but Wei motioned them to stop. Merlin glared at them before turning his attention back to the therapist. "I don't believe you had any intention to help me today. You used me just to toy with my emotions, and now you've got what you wanted. The grand showcase of my wrath. Well here's some news for you; I hold no accountability for any of this! I, Maalik Al-Seti, do not take responsibility for the actions of my sin. Rather it's on you if you choose to blame me. I'm the victim here!"

He couldn't help but aggravate himself further. "Also, feel free to respond, but did Valerie ever tell you how long she has to wait for her immortality to end? I'm sure she did. But did she tell you about me? Do you want to know how much time I still have left? Every single day, I check my hands and see the number slowly drop. But when I look at it, it feels like time hasn't moved at all. The number's still so large, I can't fucking fathom it. I shot myself in the head when I learned about it."

Rather than leaving, Merlin suddenly approached the therapist. She didn't move, she stayed in place and watched as he stood directly in front of her. He lifted both of his hands and placed them beside each other.

Upon doing so, both of his hands slightly released a dark red aura. Multiple numbers appeared, spanning across both his hands.

"This is how many days I have left before I'm finally free." Merlin spoke through gritted teeth, trying to contain himself from erupting again. "I don't know what in God's name I'm going to do about this. I don't want to show it, but I'm frightened. I've never been so damaged and scared before in my life. This isn't even torture anymore, it's beyond inhuman."

He lowered his hands and revealed a death stare that locked with her eyes. "So, tell me if I deserve this."

Wei stared back, trying her best not to crack. She didn't respond. Instead, she watched carefully as Merlin took a few steps back and turned for the exit. Standing at the doorway, he contemplated leaving, but he turned his head back to face her.

After a brief second of calmness, he made his final statement. "I'm not the bad guy here. It's you Wei. You're the villain. You really knew how to set me off. All those specific questions, you knew exactly what you were doing. So clever aren't you? Too smart for your own damn good, that's what you people are."

"Maalik doesn't deserve this fate." Wei called out to him before he could leave. He looked back at her but didn't say a word.

She continued. "The demon that has possessed Maalik is the one who deserves it."

They shared a long look at one another during the impending silence. For a moment, it appeared that Merlin was about to speak, but he never did. Finally, at long last, he stepped out of the room. Past the security guards, he walked away in denial and anger.

Wei was left alone to gather her thoughts. Setting her pad down, she walked towards the door. There, she took a closer look at the damage he caused. The wall was majorly beaten, its red color matching the color of Merlin's blood stains.

She sighed to herself, closing the door as she looked back at her office.

This was going to be a tough evaluation.