chapter seven / season four episode seven.

THREE INTRICATE KNOCKS SOUNDED ON THE DOOR OF PENELOPE'S OFFICE. Three knocks she knew very well. The bubbly blonde essentially raced up from her desk chair, forcing the door open with such force that Amelia swore she felt a gust of wind in her face.

"Ah!" Penelope squealed, immediately wrapping Amelia in a tight hug, and rocking the Levine from side to side in her grip, "You're back from Vegas! Finally, how was it? Derek was tellin' me all about your hangover and how he stayed behind to help Reid—"

Amelia tensed in Penelope's grip momentarily. It was only a short moment, before she relaxed and recognized those comforting arms that had wrapped tightly around her. It was just what happened whenever Amelia was embraced. Hugs were unnatural. Nobody hugged Amelia, nobody ever thought about wrapping her up tightly in their arms and daring to let go.

That was until Amelia had crossed Penelope's path. (That was until Amelia had crossed paths with anyone who actually liked her and knew she needed to be squeezed to death to know that she was loved.)

Amelia laughed softly, wrapping her arms around Penelope's waist and lavishing the comfort this hug actually brought her. The momentary tension in her bones seemingly forgotten, because no matter how much she'd been starved of hugs when she was younger this felt right. Amelia knew what she'd missed, she knew deep down she longed for this action, and she knew she loved hugs really.

The tension in her bones when she was hugged was loosening quicker with every hug she received.

"It was... Vegas." Amelia shrugged, pulling back from the hug but keeping her hands placed on Penelope's elbows to keep some form of contact. To keep that warmth that Penelope brought into her life. "The case was really tough, but we did it, so it feels good."

It did. It felt good. It felt good to know that Michael Bridges was home, wrapped safely under the protection of his parents again. A protection that was no doubt going to triple just to make sure they could never lose their boy again.

Amelia did wonder if she felt better because her birthday was over. That had felt like the weight of a boulder lifted from her shoulders when she'd watched the clock strike midnight and a new day settled upon them. When it wasn't her day anymore. When it wasn't Daisy's day anymore.

Penelope smiled, squeezing Amelia's arms. "Good. I'm glad to see you back in one piece, honestly, you've been getting hurt a little too much lately for my liking."

Amelia laughed, "How can that be possible? I've spent like— what? The last two months on desk duty?"

"That's not the point." Penelope scolded, rolling her eyes, "I like knowing you're safe, far from harm or God forbid anymore broken ribs." The blonde laughed quietly, as she sat herself back down at her desk chair, "I'd rather hear you whine a hundreds times over about the broken rib then get another one."

Amelia's lips curved upwards, as she down next to Penelope in the spare seat at the desk, "'M not sure everyone would agree with you on that one."

Amelia turned her head to look at Penelope, the analyst rolling her eyes before returning to typing away on her keyboard to complete whatever she had been doing before Amelia had knocked on her door. The blonde's fingers were moving at the speed Amelia would never be able to comprehend, or compete with and Amelia watched in awe for a few moments.

She watched simply because she was always in amazement of Penelope and how good the woman was at her job. But, then Amelia's mind turned. And it just looked as though she was staring at Penelope's hands and getting lost in that head of hers.

Since they'd arrived back in Virginia, Amelia's mind had really been focused on one thing. On one person. She'd spotted him in a crowd in that casino, as he stuck out like a sore thumb, and Charlie hadn't left her mind since. Not in the sense that she was fascinated by him. No. Amelia just couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact he existed, and that he had the same goals as her.

There was someone else. Someone else just waiting out there, trying to find Daisy. To bring her home.

It was unfathomable. Amelia had always felt alone in her attempts to bring Daisy home. Maybe it was because her dad had told her this was a 'worthless escapade.' and he'd swore Daisy was a useless case to pursue. For Thomas Levine, there was no saving Daisy. There was no saving anybody for him. Not if it didn't involve a scalpel and an operating room. He couldn't fathom that there was any other way of saving someone; like pouring hours into research and investigations and physically bringing them home.

Amelia hadn't been researching lately. She couldn't find something new, it was the same information over and over again that felt like it was going nowhere. The information all felt wrong. She couldn't find anything new to indicate where Daisy had gone, or who had taken her. Or, even anything to suggest Daisy was still alive. There was nothing.

And then there was Charlie. This new source of information. This new person. With the same goal as her. Who, with a bit of wearing down, would be honest, and willing to help. It felt like all Amelia needed to finally bring Daisy home.

However, Amelia couldn't just simply trust him because of his 'Adler' status. Whilst, in the moment she had. She'd been desperate for him to just listen and understand she meant no harm to him or his family — who had no doubt been hounded by media and the public in the latest years. But, now she had to know more about him.

And Amelia knew how she could get that information.

Penelope raised an eyebrow at Amelia's staring, slowly stopping the movement of her fingers to turn and face and Amelia, "Can I help you?"

"No—" Amelia shook her head, before a frown twitched at her lips, "Actually—"

"Uh-oh."

"No— 's nothin' bad." Amelia said. "I just— can you look someone up for me? No tellin' Hotch— or Derek."

Penelope's eyebrows furrowed. Of all the members of the BAU she had done the least illegal searching for Amelia. In fact, Penelope swore she'd only ever helped Amelia with one thing that was on the illegal side of things, and that was to unknowingly unlock some sensitive information on the Daisy Adler case. (which Penelope knew nothing about.) So, when Amelia asks for her to search something, or even someone, it sends off alarm bells.

Many red sirens. Many blaring alarms.

For a second, Penelope stared at Amelia with wide eyes, almost as if for a second she hadn't quite processed Amelia's request and her further secrecy on whoever she was searching for.

And then Penelope blinked, and the alarm bells settled but she still felt the dull ringing against her temple almost warning her to tell Derek, and if push came to shove Hotch. "Ok—okay. Who—?" Penelope stumbled over the two words that managed to come out her mouth.

She was terrible at hiding things from Derek. She was terrible at hiding things from Hotch. If either of them caught any whiff of illegal activity going on in this office, Penelope would crumble under their stern gazes in a second.

"A Charlie... Charlie Adler." Amelia spoke her request slowly. Her interest of the Adler case was something unspoken about on the team, and Amelia wasn't sure who knew and who didn't know. She wasn't quite sure which side Penelope was on.

But, the answer was leaning more towards not knowing as Penelope wordlessly moved her fingers along the keyboard, searching for whatever she could find on Charlie Adler.

Was he going to be a criminal? Amelia wondered. She wondered what there was to know about him. There was something. For sure. Why else would he have been in a casino at the crack of dawn, still drunk from the alcohol he'd consumed last night. Or, maybe the alcohol he'd consumed this morning. He was recovering but was that from gambling or drinking? Or, maybe both. What was his relationship with his parents?

Amelia felt like she had to know everything. She had to know everything about the person who was gonna help her bring Daisy home.

"Charlie..." Penelope muttered under her breath as multiple files popped up on her screen, "Charlie Adler, twenty-six years old, born in Virginia..."

"Adopted at the age of ten months old by a Harry Adler and Celine Adler."

Amelia's eyebrows furrowed. Celine? Who—? Who the fuck was Celine? This was new. Amelia didn't know this development, and she wasn't quite sure she liked it. Harry Adler and Katrina Adler had gotten divorced and Amelia hadn't known? What a fool she was.

It had been so long since Amelia had attempted to contact Daisy's parents, that she must've forgotten to keep updated on the smaller details.

Years ago, on her birthday, Amelia would have sat at her desk, with her laptop screen pulled slightly down just to make sure that no-one could quite see what she was up to. Anyone walking passed would've thought she was really up to no good in the internet, but really her fingers were tapping against the keys and sending out emails to Harry and Katrina, asking them how they were, if they were coping well and if she could do anything to help them.

Amelia never got a response. But, she was okay with that. At least she'd always been doing something.

She hadn't done it this year. The idea had simply slipped her mind.

"Can—" Amelia frowned, resting her chin atop of her hands, "Can you look up his dad? Check divorce records?"

Penelope did as asked, but that alarm bell was ringing again and she was seriously concerned for what Amelia might be getting into. Penelope nodded, pulling up another file on her screen, "So, it says that Harry had one marriage before Celine and that was to Katrina Adler. In 1978 it was confirmed the separation of Harry and Katrina. And Harry was remarried within the next two years."

Amelia nodded slowly, and she couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in her stomach. That was oddly quick for a man who was supposed to be grieving his daughter who had gone missing. A daughter plucked straight from his arms in the hospital. The hospital where she was supposed to be safe but taken without so much as a witness.

"Okay. So, Harry divorced and got remarried and then he adopted Charlie with his new wife." Amelia relayed the information, making a timeline in her head. "Okay, anything after that?"

"Well, what do you wanna know?" Penelope shrugged, going back to Charlie's files, "The family stayed in Virginia, but Charlie never excelled in school, he seemed to get into a lot of trouble; fights, suspensions and even an exclusion from one of his schools for— oh, Charlie."

Penelope's sigh was not a good sign. Amelia perked up in her seat, "What? What is it?"

"In his senior year at high school he got himself expelled for selling alcohol on the school's premise, whilst being intoxicated."

Amelia's eyes widened. "What?" Her eyebrows furrowed as she leaned further forward, reading the principal's report in great detail. "Did— did he go to a new school or anything?"

"He enrolled but he didn't leave school with any extraordinary grades." Penelope frowned, her heart going out to this poor Charlie. That she had no clue of his relevance in Amelia's life. "He didn't apply for any colleges, and he spent the next few years of his life working odd jobs and getting—" Penelope sighed, the frown on her face just deepening further, "Getting into multiple drunken disorderlies; fights, verbal assaults... you name it he's done it drunk."

Amelia's lips turned downwards. Her heart suddenly aching at the discovery of this information. She felt like she shouldn't know anymore. She felt like she shouldn't know this information in the first place. Why did she feel gross? As if she'd invaded on all of Charlie's private information?

"He's moved to Vegas— multiple stints in rehab—"

Amelia shook her head, permitting Penelope from revealing anymore of Charlie's private information, "Okay. Okay. Thank you, P, but— that's enough. I know— I know enough."

She felt like she knew too much. And she felt sick with herself for letting herself ask Penelope to find this private information. This is why she didn't ask Penelope for any illegal helpings, knowing the way it made her feel like her skin was crawling afterwards.

Amelia felt guilty with herself. Disgusted mainly, but guilt still lingered.

Penelope nodded, the files still up on her screen as she turned to look at Amelia, "Do you— do you want me to print any of this off...?"

"No, no," God no. Amelia wanted to say. She remembered what she needed to. She remembered too much. "That's enough. I don't need a print out, I remember what I need."

"Okay." Penelope whispered, watching as Amelia stood up from her seat from beside the analyst.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that for me."

Penelope shrugged, "You know I'll do anything you ask."

Amelia knew that. She knew Penelope would do anything for someone if she felt like it might help them, yet Amelia couldn't help but feel as though she had taken advantage of that.

Amelia nodded before beginning to turn on her heel to walk away. Yet, she didn't go anywhere before Penelope grabbed onto her hand and pulled Amelia back slightly, causing the Levine to raise her eyebrows at the blonde.

"If you were in trouble— you would tell me, right?" Penelope asked.

"'Course I would, P." Amelia smiled softly, her hand moving to hold onto Penelope's and squeeze, "I promise, if I were in trouble, you would know. I wouldn't keep that from you."

"Don't worry about Charlie, okay? He's not a threat."

Amelia hoped. She hoped he wouldn't hate her if he ever found out she snooped on his private information via her best friend.

And Amelia hoped Penelope never realized Amelia had lied to her face in this moment and promise to tell Penelope if she was ever in trouble.

That was a straight lie.

And Amelia had told it with a smile on her face.

She wondered if she was becoming more like her dad.

✺

"Has anyone ever told you that you constantly look like you're in a state of crisis?" Emily tilted her head, leaning against Amelia's desk and frowned slightly.

"Has anyone ever you to actually finish your paperwork?" Amelia remarked, plucking a nail polish out of the desk of her drawer and shaking it. A frown on her lips. A frown that had been there ever since she'd left Penelope's office at least two hours ago.

She couldn't help but feel like she'd done something wrong. Something very wrong.

"Uh, yes," Emily nodded, "People tell me that all the time, so people must tell you that you look like you're in a state of crisis all the time too."

Amelia hummed, her eyes trained on the pale blue nail polish she'd plucked out of her drawer, "People usually think it; not tell me."

"Well," Emily shrugged. "I'm telling you."

"And 'M probably not listening." Amelia shrugged herself, opening the nail polish bottle and getting straight to painting her thumb nail, a quiet huff of frustration escaping her lips as she noted the length of her own nails. It was her own damn fault for biting them down so short.

Emily rolled her eyes, tutting quietly, watching the Levine paint her nails, "C'mon, what's that brain of yours caught up on?"

Emily gently tapped at Amelia's temple, attempting to coax Amelia into spilling anything from her lips, anything that might trouble the girl.

"The real question is what isn't my brain caught up on, huh?" Amelia scoffed, wiping the skin around her nail that a small amount of polish had reached.

The buzzing of the phone interrupted Amelia from asking any further frustrated questions, the Levine furrowing her eyebrows as she turned the screen over to see who it was. She scoffed again seeing 'Dad' light up on the screen. She flipped it back over and pushed it away from her as she focused back on painting her nails, whilst still speaking to Emily.

"Have you ever asked P... to look people up? On like— files and stuff?"

Emily nodded instantly, "Yeah. All the time."

"All the time?" Amelia looked up from her nails, her face scrunched with confusion, "Like— seriously? You're not being dramatic?"

"No, fully serious." Emily confirmed, "It was, how long had I been in the BAU—? About two weeks? I asked Penelope, one by one, to search everyone from my senior year class because I got nosy and wanted to see what they were up to. We've all done it."

"I bet even Hotch has asked about someone."

Oh, Emily. Of course he had.

He'd asked for Amelia Levine's files in no time.

"I know Derek's done it, JJ, hell even Rossi. We all do it." Emily shrugged, "Why? Is that what you've got your head spinning about?"

Amelia nodded, pausing the brushes motions, "I just... I feel bad knowing stuff about someone. Stuff that they should tell me, not that I should know about because I asked my friend to do a deep dive."

"Look," Emily sighed, reaching over to squeeze Amelia's shoulder, "You feel guilty. The first time always makes you feel a bit creepy, a bit stalkerish. But, it's not like that, okay? You were just checking about someone and happened to stumble across sensitive information. You couldn't have known that was gonna happen."

Amelia had. She knew there would be something in Charlie's files. Yet, she hadn't accounted the guilt for knowing afterwards. For knowing what felt like his deepest darkest secrets, that he should be able to tell her if he wanted to.

Amelia nodded apprehensively, "Okay." She murmured. She wasn't sold by any means. And Emily could tell that.

But, with JJ, Penelope and the maternity cover — Jordan Todd — approaching Amelia's desk, Emily knew better than to say something else.

JJ's eyebrows furrowed, her thumb rubbing along the side of her bump as she glanced between Amelia and Emily, "Do you two just avoid paperwork or something? I mean— c'mon," JJ gestured to Emily, "You're just sat here, chatting," her hand then gestured to Amelia, "And you're— you're painting your nails?!"

Penelope gasped, picking up the polish bottle and eyeing the color, "Oooo! I like this color, you haven't worn blue in ages!"

Amelia smiled, nodding happily as she reached up for the bottle to continue her painting, "I need a fresh color, JJ." She shrugged innocently, "It all came off in Vegas, I feel naked."

The three of them knew that 'it all came off' was just a cover up for Amelia's picking habits.

"You always do them so nicely," Penelope sighed, watching in almost admiration as Amelia moved the brush on her nails, "I can never do them like you can."

"Years of practice, P."

Jordan raised her eyebrows, "Blue, huh? You getting ready for JJ's baby?"

Amelia nodded, grateful that someone had pieced together her plan, she smiled, "Yes! I'm waiting patiently for baby Jareau— or LaMontange to arrive, so I need to have blue at all times just incase."

A huff of a laugh escaped Emily, "This coat of polish will be gone by the next case, just you wait Jordan."

Amelia frowned, "And what's that s'ppossed to mean?"

Emily smiled, pinching the tip of Amelia's nose, "Don't you worry 'bout it, sunshine." Emily mimicked Derek's tone of voice, causing all three of the women to laugh.

"Now, 'M gonna make a coffee. Jordan you wanna come teach me your usual?" Emily offered, leading the maternity cover to the break room, with Penelope rushing after Emily to make sure the agent got her sweet drink just right.

That left Amelia and JJ.

A wincing JJ.

Amelia looked up from her one painted hand, her eyebrows furrowed, "JJ?"

"I'm fine." JJ replied too quickly, leaning down with gritted teeth to grip the edge of Amelia's desk.

The nail polish was long forgotten, "JJ," Amelia's tone borderlined on a warning. It was funny how motherly Amelia sounded when JJ was going through the process of becoming a mother.

JJ exhaled and inhaled deeply, her breathing the only sound heard in the otherwise silent bullpen.

"Oh, my God," Amelia's eyes widened in panic as she stood up from her desk, freeing her desk chair and almost forcing JJ down into it, "Are you—? Oh no. What—? How long has this been happening?!"

JJ felt as though being left in the company of Amelia was possibly the worst option.

JJ's thumb continued rubbing against her bump, in an attempt to calm her breathing and the pain she felt, "In the last hour? Every 10 minutes."

Amelia gasped, her hands flying to her cheeks, "JJ!" She scolded. "What— what are you doin', oh my goodness, JJ!"

"Don't you—" JJ warned, lifting one finger to point at Amelia, "I'm not due for another three weeks, everything is fine—"

"I'm not totally stupid, JJ!" Amelia shook her head, "I know the tell tale signs of labor. I looked them up, just incase this were to ever happen."

Despite the contraction that had just finished and left JJ with a new wave of pain, she couldn't help the soft smile that formed on her lips as Amelia panicked around her.

"Okay— I need Aaron— Aaron will know what to do—"

Amelia was rushing up to the Unit Chief's office before JJ could question the first name basis that Amelia and 'Aaron' were now on. In addition to her confusion on the first name basis going on there, JJ's eyebrows also furrowed as Amelia's phone buzzed with an incoming call from her dad. (Another one. Not that JJ knew that as she pressed the big, red, decline button.)

Amelia didn't even bother knocking before entering into Aaron's office, eyes as wide as saucers, looking like a little lost deer, "JJ's in labor." She announced.

Aaron's head snapped up from his paperwork, immediately dropping his pen and rounding his desk to stand by Amelia in the doorway to his office, "You're sure? Completely?"

Amelia nodded and led him down to JJ sat at her desk, "That's a woman in labor. I know how to spot them now." She smiled, proud of herself for having researched pregnancy just to help JJ.

"Okay," Aaron said quietly, before turning to Amelia, "I'm going to get the car, you're going to get Garcia and Prentiss and meet me down there. Can you do that?"

No matter how proud Amelia was looking of herself, she was also fucking stressed. She'd never been around anyone in labor before.

And she wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for JJ.

So, Amelia nodded her head, "Gotcha. I'll do everything right."

Aaron's lips twitched, fighting back a smile, "I don't doubt it."

✺

Amelia had done everything right. She'd marched JJ down to the car as if JJ was the president and the United States of America depended on it. She'd held JJ's hand in the backseat, doing breathing exercises with the soon-to-be-mother and reminding her that everything was going to be okay and that within a couple of hours JJ's son would be here.

Aaron glanced at Amelia in the hospital seat next to him, Penelope in the seat on her other side as Amelia painted the blonde's nails blue. Amelia's now decorated in that same blue.

"Do you want yours done too?" She asked, having felt his gaze on her without even having to look over at him.

Aaron laughed quietly, and luckily Penelope was too engrossed in a conversation with Emily to hear the sound. Maybe people didn't hear it as loudly as Amelia did. Maybe they didn't listen out for it like she did. "I'm alright, thank you."

"It's a real pretty—"

The sound of heavy footsteps stopped Amelia describing how pretty her nail polish was any further, the sound of Spencer's panting causing her to look up and check over the man for any signs of distress.

All she saw was a man who just wasn't used to running.

Derek and Rossi stood beside the boy-genius with raised eyebrows and withholding their laughter. Derek clapped Reid on his shoulder, "Maybe we shouldn't take the stairs next time, huh, pretty boy?"

Spencer rolled his eyes whilst Rossi turned his attention to Aaron, ignoring whatever mounting argument was happening beside him. "How's she doin'?"

Aaron opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the sound of more footsteps. Granted, they were lighter sounding than Reid's heavy feet, who had clearly rushed all the way up here.

"Hey—" Will greeted.

Penelope was jumping up out of her seat at the sound of his voice, shocking Amelia at the speed at which she had moved and completely forgotten about the nail painting process. "Is she okay? How's she doing? Is the baby okay? Can we see her—?"

Derek laughed, placing his hand on Penelope's shoulder and pulling her, gently, back from Will's personal space, "Hey, Mama, calm down, okay? Let Will answer one question at a time."

Penelope nodded, her hands held together underneath her chin, almost as if she was silently praying everything had gone okay. That mom was happy and healthy. And that baby, too, was happy and healthy.

Will laughed quietly, a sense of pride in his eyes, "JJ's just fine, she's all set with baby, snuggled up in bed. She wants to see y'all, said there ain't nobody else she wants to meet her baby first but her family."

Penelope looked like she was about to explode. "Let's go. Let's go." She practically cheered, grasping onto Will's hand and demanding he lead the way.

Rossi and Emily exchanged a look before laughing and following after those two, with Derek and Spencer following shortly behind them; Morgan with his arm slung around Reid's shoulder, mocking him for something.

Aaron and Amelia hung back for the smallest of seconds, Amelia seeming almost hesitant to get up out of the waiting room chair before Aaron extended his hand to her with a soft smile. "C'mon." He said, nodding his head in the direction of the others.

Amelia looked up at him, all sense of hesitation immediately gone, and her hand gripping onto his as they walked behind Derek and Spencer. Almost, subconsciously, she squeezed around Aaron's hand, a nervous smile on her face, "Do you think the baby will like me?"

Aaron thought it was a stupid question, so he responded with a simple, "How could he not?"

Amelia laughed quietly, a softer smile on her face as they headed for JJ's room. She'd spent hours researching babies (alongside Daisy Adler.), how to be a good friend to a new mother, how to be good with babies. How to actually hold them, that was a pretty important one that Amelia had to learn, considering she'd never actually held a baby before. How to act if a baby does start crying once held in your arms.

She really hoped that JJ's baby didn't just start sobbing if he was to be placed in Amelia's arms. She'd honestly be quite upset if it was to happen.

She squeezed Aaron's hand again as they entered into JJ's hospital room. She knew what she was doing. Amelia knew a lot about babies now. She didn't have to worry about doing something bad to the baby on accident.

That wouldn't happen.

The baby would like you.

It's okay.

Penelope immediately cooed upon entry, and leaning over to see the baby perched in JJ's arms, "Oh, JJ, he is just precious— he looks just like you Will."

Amelia laughed quietly. She always found it funny how people said that when a baby had just been born on shows. How could you ever tell?

Aaron glanced down at her quiet laughter. And, by God, did he feel the butterflies.

"Let's hope he grows out of that." Will joked, leaning down to press a soft kiss to JJ's forehead.

"Just as long as he doesn't inherit the accent." Emily laughed.

"Wow," Spencer marveled, "Congratulations."

JJ smiled softly before glancing between Penelope and Spencer, "Y'know, I actually have something I want to ask you two..."

"Yes." Penelope spoke. Already knowing the question that was going to come from JJ's lips before the words had even formed on the new mom's tongue.

JJ laughed, "Okay, let me actually ask first, Penelope."

"Sorry, sorry, I got excited." She squealed quietly, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Me and Will talked about it... and we'd like you, Spence and Penelope, to be Henry's godparents."

Amelia's lips curved into a bigger smile than Aaron had ever seen before, as she watched Penelope practically explode once the question had been asked, a stark contrast to Spencer's nerves at the thought of being responsible for a baby. Nonetheless JJ's baby, if anything were to happen to her and Will.

"Oh— I don't even know—"

"Here, you wanna hold him?" JJ was already guiding the baby towards Spencer's arms before he could say no, "It's okay. Here you go."

Spencer whispered quietly to the baby as JJ made sure the baby's neck was held securely in Spencer's arms.

Penelope fanned at her eyes, watching the scene before her and the fact she was a godmother. "Oh, JJ— you have no idea how much this means to me— thank you, thank you."

Penelope knew she'd be waiting a damn long time before she'd be godmother to Amelia's kids.

JJ pulled away, knowing that now Spencer had the correct hold of the baby she didn't need to worry. She knew he'd be fine. JJ knew how tirelessly Spencer had researched babies, and knew there was no-one better to be Henry's godfather. She smiled at Penelope before bringing the crying blonde into a sweet hug.

JJ's eyes flitted between Amelia and Derek, the two sporting grins that were worth more to JJ than anything in the world, "Y'know, Will tried to suggest that you two could also be godparents, and then I told him to just imagine if Amelia and Derek actually watched our baby for a night— and imagine how that would turn out."

Will laughed.

Derek's eyebrows furrowed in a playful offense, "What you trynna say, Mama?"

JJ laughed, her arms now wrapped around Penelope's shoulder as the analyst perched herself on the edge of the hospital bed, "That you and Amelia are never allowed to watch baby Henry together. Understood?"

Amelia nodded instantly. She wanted to be able to look after Henry, and if that meant giving up the chance to do it with Derek then she'd give that up easily.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Alright. I hear ya. We won't ever watch the baby together."

"We still get to watch him though, right?" Amelia asked, almost nervous that the opportunity might get taken from her, "Just— not together?"

JJ nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips. "'Course. I know how much you've looked into baby stuff, Amelia— hey, do you actually wanna hold him?"

Amelia had nodded far quicker than anyone had expected. Long gone were the thoughts that she could corrupt a baby with a single touch, that she would harm Henry just simply by existing. Amelia had positive thoughts. She was happy. Her heart was practically beating out of her chest because she was so happy with the domesticity of this scene. The joy it was bringing her.

A joy she'd never quite experienced before, or a joy Amelia had ever thought about.

She'd always thought that something as pure and innocent as babies could be ruined by her just... breathing.

Now, as she stood here with Spencer transferring Henry into her arms... she didn't have a single thought like that. All her thoughts were happy. Not a single bad one, for what was probably the first time in her life. She was so happy.

Amelia almost felt like crying.

She smiled softly at the baby in her arms, gently running her finger along Henry's cheek, "Hi, Henry." She whispered.

JJ didn't even have to remind her to support Henry's head. Everything about Amelia holding her baby felt natural. It felt right. And to see how happy Amelia was just stood there, quietly whispering to the newborn...

It was safe to say everyone in the room just wanted to keep this picture forever.

Aaron's heart was practically powered by the butterflies in his stomach at that moment. He was watching Amelia dote on the baby, whisper quietly to him, her gentle touch against the baby's soft skin. He couldn't deny how perfect she was. The glimmer in her eyes of pure happiness.

It finally settled in Aaron that Amelia was home.

She was at home with the BAU. Home with JJ, with Emily, with Rossi, with Spencer, with Penelope, with Derek.

With him.

Amelia was home here.

A home built on steady foundations, supported by love for another and trust in each other. Love that provided happiness, safety and security. Friendship despite tough cases, despite everything they saw on cases.

They still had a home with one another.

Amelia glanced up from the baby and up at Aaron. She was looking at him as if everything was right in the world at that present moment.

Forget Daisy. Forget Thomas Levine. Forget everything bad that has ever happened to everyone in this room. Forget it all. Being here was all that mattered. The perfection of the moment, the company— everything. That was what mattered most.

Amelia looked back down at Henry in her arms when she felt her cheeks start to turn a little pink at the eye contact with Aaron.

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket again. She let the buzzing carry on. Amelia didn't want to answer her phone, she just wanted to marvel in this moment. Never let it end. Never let the penetrating forces of the real world ruin what a gentle moment this was.

Amelia's phone stopped buzzing.

And then it buzzed again.

Amelia's eyebrows furrowed slightly because nobody ever rung twice in a row unless it was extremely important. Her phone never usually buzzed this much in the day.

She felt the evil in the world creeping onto this moment.

Aaron stepped forward, his arms gently peeling the comfortable baby out of her arms as he nodded reassuringly, "Take it. We'll still be here when your call's finished."

Amelia fished her phone out of her back pocket without another word as she stepped out of JJ's hospital room. And suddenly all joy felt washed away seeing her mom's contact on her screen.

Amelia had been instructed to never answer her dad's calls. That was the rule.

But, if her mom called... at this hour?

Amelia's stomach sank as she raised the phone to her ear.

And suddenly she was reminded of the cruelties of the real world. That the world wasn't just life. There wasn't just joy and happiness. There was death. And grief. And fear.

In that moment Amelia felt like all the grief in the world poured over her.

She's getting worse. You need to be here.

Thomas' words repeated themself over and over again.

The doctor's said she's dying.

Dying.

Dying?

Dying.

Amelia didn't understand. Her mom... had been fine. Things were working. Chemo was working. Things weren't so bad.

Dying?

Amelia's breath quickened as she rubbed at her chest, her grip on the phone tightening.

I tried to tell you all day— where were you! What were you doing?

His words were just a distance echo. A never ending echo as Amelia allowed for herself to be scolded over the phone by Thomas Levine, even if there were greater matters like death on their hands.

She'd been celebrating. She'd been happy, because of a new life brought into this world.

And her mom had been dying.

Amelia had nearly all the joys of life in her grasp, she'd been so close she practically have reached out with her hand and held on tightly to them. Never willing to let go.

And her mom had been dying.

Her mom was dying.

Amelia didn't have any air in her lungs as Derek stepped out of JJ's room to check on whatever Amelia was being called about.

Aaron had offered. But, Derek had told him to stay put considering he had the baby in his arms.

"Hey— sunshine—?" Derek reached out with one hand to place on Amelia's shoulder, but she had flinched away from it, biting her bottom lip as her dad told her to get here now, before Amelia was too late. Derek frowned, "Hey, Amelia— look at me."

She couldn't.

Amelia couldn't.

Her mom was dying.

And she'd been celebrating. She'd been happy.

Everyone was happy.

Amelia glanced at Derek, shaking her head. She couldn't tell him that her mom was dying. So, she wouldn't tell him her true reasoning for leaving. "I need to go." She managed to say.

She managed to find the words in the midst of her guilt.

Only Amelia had to feel guilty.

Nobody else had to.

"Why, Amelia?" Derek frowned, noticing the tension in her muscles, the tight grip around her phone, "What's happenin'? Is it your Mama? She okay?"

Amelia shook her head, "No, no. She's fine." She's dying. "I just— there's something else goin' on that I need to go sort out— I'll be back."

She won't.

Amelia walked away without another word down the sterile corridors of the hospital. The lights suddenly far too bright and the ward somehow too quiet.

Maybe, Amelia just couldn't hear anything other than the frantic breaths leaving her ears.

She'd been so close. She nearly got everything she'd ever wanted. She'd nearly been so happy. Happier than she ever could've imagined. So close.

And her mom had been dying.

✺

Amelia felt like the Grim Reaper had followed her all the way to Washington, his cloak flapping in the wind as he held his scythe, just waiting to take Martha Levine with him. He was waiting. This dark cloud following behind her all the way from Virginia to Washington.

All the blue nail polish Amelia had painted on her nails was already gone. She'd noticed that when she'd raised her hand to knock on the front door of her childhood house.

Not home.

House.

The house she hated with every fiber of her being; the fake flowers, the stupid coat of paint her dad had painted over the garage door and the color of the paneling that had always pissed her off.

She knocked on the door of that house.

And there was the pit in her stomach that told her she was about to have many more unhappy memories in this house.

Maybe the Grim Reaper had been the one guiding the anxious pit her whole life.

Her mom opened the door.

And Amelia blinked in surprise, because her mom didn't look like a woman on the brink of death. She was standing, her hands not trembling and her skin wasn't pale but actually looking tanned.

Martha wore a turtleneck.

Amelia's mom despised turtlenecks.

Thomas quickly appeared behind the woman, "C'mon, you need to go sit back down Martha, go back to bed." He ushered her away from the door and towards the stairs.

Martha looked bewildered at the sudden appearance of Amelia.

And for a second it felt like the Grim Reaper had disappeared.

And Amelia wasn't quite sure her mom was dying anymore.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
you know when amelia does actually get her happiness im going to feel very happy

just... just leaving this here and leaving!

and whilst i was watching my favorite film of all time (ladybird) i came to a SICKENING revelation that amelia and martha are just like ladybird and her mom YOU'RE WELCOME!