i couldn't seem to recognize you. maybe it was a defense mechanism, a trigger my brain pulled to save itself from me. i couldn't see your face, no matter how long i looked at it. it was a blank spot, an endless void.

and yet when i looked back at all the memories before, i could picture it so clearly that it was like you stood next to me.

maybe i knew that the old memories were all i should have. maybe i knew making new ones would hurt a thousand times worse.

so this time, if i ever stared for a second too long, it was because i was trying to figure out who you were.