there were moments when i hated you. moments where i cursed you for existing, cursed the universe for letting me know you existed. moments of sanity that i renounced as quickly as they happened, because i couldn't imagine a world without you in it. i couldn't imagine my life without you in it.

and there were moments where i stopped on the sidewalk in a completely different city, knowing that you were miles and miles away, and marveled that we breathed the same air. that we both looked up at the same sky, saw the same stars. that somehow, some way, the universe had made sure that we existed together, but apart.

those were the moments where i was okay with never being close to you. that it was enough to know that you were out there, somewhere. but they were also the moments that i yearned for you the most. for the first time, i wanted someone to touch me. just put an arm around me, or a friendly slap on the shoulder, an elbow to the ribs. some piece of contact to make me feel like i belonged in the world with you. that i was worthy of breathing your air, seeing your sky, existing alongside you.

but they were just moments.