Savannah paced her room, sniffling and dabbing at her red-rimmed eyes. She dropped onto her bed, pounding her fists against the pillow before launching it across the room. It bounced off the wall and fell to the floor with an unsatisfying plop.

She snatched yet another tissue from the box and rubbed her damp cheeks before blowing her nose. The soggy tissue dropped into the growing heap on her bedside table before she flopped against her last surviving pillow. The pile drew her attention, and she finally heaved a sigh and stomped across her room to sweep them into the garbage can.

Done. Over. Final. Kaput. Things were falling apart. What to do next?

It seemed so silly. How she'd obsessed about cleaning the house, making cookies, and changing her outfit five times before hovering in front of the picture window. Her eager sprint through the front door. All to find him alone.

"Why don't you want me?" she whispered.

The photo on the bedside table caught her eye. A fresh wave of tears streamed down her face as she traced her mom's face.

How unfair. In her short lifetime, she'd lost not one, but two mothers. "I miss you." She set the silver frame in its place before yanking the last tissue from the box.

Nothing made sense, but she should have expected something would go wrong. The dread built as Aiden avoided her gaze and then her worst fear came true. How could a mother abandon her child? Aiden had said her mother had been devastated. So why would she refuse?

She tossed the last pillow from her bed and flung open her door, listening for any sounds. Nothing. Not even the usual small noises as her dad made dinner or the rattle of his newspaper broke the silence. She tiptoed down the hall, stopping for a sweater before she opened the door.

A few fluffy flakes of snow were falling, creating a light dusting of snow over the front walk which her dad was busy sweeping. After being cooped up in her room, the crisp air was refreshing.

She lowered herself onto the top step, observing as her dad concentrated on his task of keeping the yard perfect. The familiar pang hit as she thought about her mom.

Another injustice. The man who'd killed her in his drunken stupor was free. His children still had him, while her mom was gone forever.

"Where's Aiden?" she asked.

"He left."

"Where'd he go?" She huffed under her breath. Of course, he'd gone. He gave me away before. Why wouldn't he do it again? Even as the thought invaded, a small piece of her fought discouragement. He'd given up so easily, which meant one thing.

"Chicago, I imagine." Her dad stretched his arms above his head before bringing a hand down to rub his lower back.

"You're angry." Savannah hung her head.

"You seem angry enough for both of us." He leaned on the broom. "I'm sad and a little worried."

"Why? You should be thrilled he's out of our lives. He didn't fight it, and you never wanted me to see him to begin with."

"I wish your mom had burned that damn photo the minute we got home from the hospital. You've been obsessed with this quest. Now it's not happening and you're grouchy and disillusioned. Even worse, you're taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I'm not the one who deserves the apology, Savannah." He wagged his index finger. "You've put Aiden in a tough spot. Maybe you'll see that someday."

"He's protecting her. I'm his child. It should be me he protects."

"Ask yourself how you'd feel in his position. This situation creates new issues in both of their lives. Can't you see?"

She brushed the back of her hand across her cheeks.

"Don't cry." He handed her a tissue and sat, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I'll always love you, no matter what. So will Aiden."

"How? I only met him a few weeks ago."

"You're his daughter." Ross sighed. "This isn't some abstract notion or a game. You've been so focused on finding your mother, you're missing the fact you've dropped into Aiden's life like a ticking time bomb. You're demanding something beyond his power to control. He can't make your mother see you or accept you into her life."

"Why not? He knows her."

"Just because you know someone doesn't mean you can or should bend them to your own will. He said quite plainly, she's endured enough abuse from her family. They took you. Not only from her but from him. I respect his decision to not push her into another situation she can't control or handle."

"I don't have a right to be upset my mother won't see me?"

"Nobody can dictate how you feel, but you don't have the right to take your anger and frustration out on Aiden. He went to a lot of trouble and expense to see you. The DNA testing, taking time from his work, and he's flown across the country twice. People count on him being there when they come through the door of that ER."

"Why did he bother?"

"That young man cares a great deal, but he's been forced into an untenable situation."

"I'll pay him back."

Her dad patted her knee. "You're missing the point. Is this only about finding your mother? Is knowing your father irrelevant? Do you even care whether you see him again?"

An ache grew in her heart. In focusing solely on the woman who'd given her birth, she hadn't considered the alternative. Now she'd refused to talk to Aiden and told him to leave, it probably didn't matter anyway.

"Savannah?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I pictured this ending differently."

"Your expectations were set at an unattainable level. That happens when you truly want something." Her dad shook his head. "Consider how Aiden feels about how this ended." He rubbed her shoulder, sighing again. "Adoption is a heart-wrenching decision, even when you make that choice yourself. What happens when your child is taken away?"

Now she understood why her dad looked concerned. "You like him. You don't think he's irresponsible?"

"Why would I think that?"

"I'm a teenage mistake."

"It must have been difficult without the support of his family." He squeezed her shoulders. "Accept that your mother won't be part of your life, but Aiden would like to be. Maybe you should give him the chance."

Her dream had evaporated right as it was all within her grasp, leaving nothing but a dull sting. More hot tears trickled down her face.

"Oh, honey, this is what I was afraid of, except it isn't only you who's getting hurt or has conflicting and painful emotions." Her dad turned her head so she was looking directly at him. "You aren't the only one struggling. You're not alone. Aiden's doing the best he can under stressful circumstances."

Savannah nodded. Perhaps cutting Aiden out of her life wasn't the right decision, but would he ever forgive her behavior?

----

Savannah stared out the window, wrapping a strand of hair around her finger while the teacher droned in a never-ending stream about some distant event in history. A bird landed in the small tree, pecking at the feeder hung there for the winter.

Her fingers guided the pencil across her paper, a small doodle taking shape. Her mind wandered to Aiden and the long conversation with her dad, which had morphed into interminable silences over the past several days.

Her inability to take action and make amends with Aiden disappointed her dad, and she was suitably chagrined. She wasn't this unfeeling, selfish person, or in her heart, she didn't believe so. Maybe she'd been unfair, but she couldn't rewind and change how she reacted, no matter how much she wished it.

"You're off in dreamland again?" Leanne prodded her ribs. "Class is over and I need some help here."

"Give me a minute." Savannah brushed her friend's hand away, taking her time gathering her things. By the time she was done, the room had emptied.

"Why don't you just call him?"

"Why would I?" Savannah shrugged, hoping to appear nonchalant even as her gut twisted. Aiden would turn her away after how she'd behaved.

"Because he's your father?" Leanne stared at her. "You've wanted to know about your biological parents for years, but now you don't care?"

Savannah bowed her head, hiding the tears burning behind her eyes. "He doesn't want me," she whispered. "I told him to go away, so why would he want to hear from me?"

"Did he say he didn't want you to phone? Didn't he fly to Portland just to see you?"

"Yeah." Savannah held up two fingers. "Twice."

"I dunno, it sounds like he wants to see you. When I fight with my parents, I apologize and they forgive me. I might have to do some extra chores but they're still my mom and dad." Leanne sighed. "Give him a chance. He's really nice."

"I was horrible."

"So apologize. He's your father so he'll forgive you."

"He doesn't know me."

"But he could. I saw him tons of times as he checked on me every day until my mom arrived. You should have seen him with the kids on the ward. I bet he'd make a great dad." Leanne grinned. "Think of the fun trips to Chicago, the extra birthday and Christmas presents." Her friend tapped a finger against her pursed lips. "If you don't want him, I wouldn't mind having a fun dad."

"Was it wrong for me to search for my parents? Maybe that's why my dad is upset."

"I'd wonder if I was adopted, and now you've found them. Or at least one-half, anyway. Did Dr. Hamilton want to see you again?"

Savannah pushed her hair back, fiddling with the ends, ignoring Leanne's pointed stare. "I need a haircut."

"Vanna? Did he?"

"Yes, okay? He said he wants to get to know me. I'm not sure what I'd say to him. He's so young to be my father."

"My older brother is twenty, and we hang out and have fun. You could do that with Aiden."

"Should I call him? I have his number."

"Why not? If you don't like him, you could stop seeing him. He lives all the way across the country."

"I guess I could see what he says."

"Promise you'll phone tonight." Leanne extended her pinky toward Savannah.

"Fine, I promise." Vanna linked their fingers, giving them a small shake. Now she was committed.

As soon as school was over, Vanna collected her backpack, making her way through the crowded hallways to Leanne's locker. "Ready to go?"

"Am I ever. My mom is waiting in the car. I have a doctor's appointment." Her friend tapped on the cast. "Hopefully, they'll take this clunky thing off."

Savannah helped her friend outside and handed off her bag, waving at Leanne's mom before she turned toward home.

She sighed at the sight of Justin chatting with Christina on the front steps of the school. The girl was never more than three feet from him at any given time.

Christina's light laugh carried through the crisp air, and she leaned in toward the boy, flattening a palm against his chest.

Savannah rolled her eyes and trudged down the sidewalk toward her neighborhood.

"Vanna. Wait up." Justin loped toward her. "Can I walk with you?"

"Sure." She tightened the scarf around her neck to block the biting wind and struggled to free the black wool hat from her bag.

"Here." He tucked her long blonde hair behind her ears and adjusted the hat to cover the tender exposed flesh. "Better?"

She nodded and smiled, dropping her chin to hide the blush she was sure colored her cheeks.

"Let me carry that." Justin scooped her pack from her shoulder and slung it over his own. "It's cold. I can't wait until I can get my license. Dad promised me a car."

"Nice." She peeked at him. No doubt Christina would be thrilled at the news her boyfriend had transportation.

"You don't say much, do you?" He smirked. "Used to be you'd never quit talking."

Her cheeks reddened. Once upon a time, she'd played in his kiddie pool. They were inseparable during the early years of school.

Thankfully, they reached the front of her house. "Thanks for walking me and carrying my bag." She offered a shy smile.

His gorgeous eyes and adorable grin practically dissolved her into a puddle. "See you tomorrow?"

Vanna bit her lip and nodded. "Night, Justin." She opened the front door. For some reason, he was still standing there, so she waved and stepped inside. She pressed her back against the wooden frame and closed her eyes. Nope. Don't even think it. He had Christina, where she was just the little girl who never quit talking.