{ Alex's POV }

I walked out of the room, my heart pounding. Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod I HAD SEX WITH MILES KANE FUCK.

My whole body shook with anxiety. I swear I need to go to the damn doctors for that shit. I walked down the stairs and grabbed my stuff quickly. I need out.

Fuck I need out I need out I need out right now. I left the flat grabbing my cigs and tugging on my leather jacket. My heart was racing a million miles per hour and I've never had so much trouble breathing.

" FUCK! " I screamed into the morning air.

I practically ran all the way back to my flat, and once I was inside, I slammed the door, sliding down to the floor. How could we have been so wreckless? How could I have been so wreckless? I loved him. I wanted him, but I wanted to remember it.

He was so heartbroken. At least, he sounded it. And his breakdown? Would he be okay? I would have stayed, but I would have had my own breakdown.

I felt my throat burn, and tears brimmed my eyes. Why couldn't my life be easy? Why couldn't I just love who I wanted when I wanted... Why couldn't I just not maintain a relationship? Why? Why? Why?

I closed my eyes, letting a tear slip as I leant my head back against the door. I need to stop crying so much. What am I supposed to do now?

I pushed myself away from the door stumbling towards the kitchen. I don't want to remember anything ever again. I grabbed tons of alcohol.

Pain killers...I need pain killers for this headache not alcohol. What about both? Yeah yeah both will work. I grab the alcohol and a bottle of pain killers grabbing about five....five...I can take up to ten in a day right? I grab five more and swallow them down with alcohol.

After about ten minutes my vision is almost completely blurry. I called Miles, letting out a few desperate words as he picks up before everything turns black.

When I finally came to, I felt empty. I was surrounded by blurry whiteness, and my hearing was slowly coming back. I heard the calm beats of a heart monitor. I blinked vigerously, attempting to regain my vision.

I turned my head to the side, looking over and being scared as my eyes met those of the angry, worried, tear stained face of Miles Kane.

"Mi?" I whispered, my voice was hoarse, throat dry.

I felt awful. His dark eyes never left mine as he grabbed the glass of water, shoving it in my hand, which he had been holding.

I brought it up to my lips, "Dont chug it or you'll vomit, you bastard."

His tone scared me, it sounded angered yet depressed. I took small sips, feeling the moisture return to my throat.

I could feels his eyes boring into the side of my head as I took small sips. I looked around my surroundings more and my eyebrows shot up in realization.

" I'm in a hospital? What happened? " I looked back towards Miles and almost flinched at his face.

He looked really angry. He crossed his arms harshly around his frame and proceeded to explain.

" You, being the bloody git that you are, drank half a bottle of alcohol with pain medication. They had to pump your stomach. In other words you idiot you tried to kill yourself! " he practically screamed the last part.

His words ran trough my mind. Tried to kill myself?

" N-no no I was just trying to get rid of the pain. I didn't want to die! I don't wanna die, " Tears cascaded down my cheeks, " I don't wanna die Miles I don't wanna die!!! "

I heard the heart beat monitor begin to sound faster. I looked at Miles, and he looked panicked when he heard the speed of the beats.

"Calm down you bloody git! I paid to make sure that no one finds out that you're here!" He said, pressing a hand to my shoulder.

"Miles! Please believe me!" I said, loudly.

"Shut up!" He said.

He climbed on the bed and laid with me, holding me close. The heart beat monitor instantly slowed down. I looked up at Miles to find him gazing at the monitor with a sincere look on his face.

"Please believe me, Miles Kane." I begged, holding his wrist.

"I believe you, Al. I know you get depressed, but it's unlike you to try to kill yourself." He said. "Now, stop moving so much. I don't want you to get sick..." He mumbled, pressing his lips to my head.

The heart rate monitor went crazy when he kissed my forehead. A blush tinted my cheeks as Miles eyes widened. He peaked at me and I quickly looked at the wall. His arms wrapped tighter around me and the heart beat monitor went off again.

" M-Mi please, " I whimpered out, tears forming in my eyes.

He murmured a soft no and started kissing my temple. Why does he have to play with my emotions like this? Tears began to pour down my cheeks and I gripped the sheets. Tears dropped onto his hands which rested on my thighs. He pulled away and I could feel his worry.

" Al? " he whispered.

I didn't answer him, but instead squeezed my eyes shut, feeling tears force their way out, and down my face. I wish that I could get up and run, but I can't. I'm forced to face these emotions, and I can't hide.

But I don't want Miles to know, I don't want him to know how I feel about him because it could ruin our friendship and I don't want that. Miles wiped my tears with his hand, then wiped his hand on his jeans before wiping more away. I started to feel sick.

"Hush, love..." He whispered.

I tried to take deep breaths, which made me feel weird. I felt almost hungry and sick at the same time.

"Why are you so upset?" He asked, rubbing my arm, careful of the I.V. which I just noticed was in my arm.

How do I answer?

I let my attention focus on the I.V. My heart pumped faster and I felt like I was about to throw up. My eyes rolled back into my head and I collapsed back against Miles.

" Alex! " he yelled with worry.

My heart monitor went on steadily. I could still hear everything but it felt so surreal. I felt arm shake me and tears hit my cheeks. I wanted to yell his name back. A whimper escaped my lips as I finally let the darkness take me and sleep surround me.

-

I woke up in a different room now. I think I was still in the hospital though. I looked around the room, my eyes blurry.

" Miles... " I whispered hoarsely.

I heard voices outside the room.

" Yes he'll hopefully wake up soon. I know it's been a week... " I heard an unknown voice say.

Then I heard Miles, " Okay...sorry for bothering you ma'am. "

The door opened and Miles stepped in.He sniffed and when he looked at me he stopped walking.

"Al!" He shouted. He ran back to the door, "Nurse!" He shouted, then he ran back in, causing me to feel scared.

"Wh-what?" I whispered. I didn't know what was going on.

A week, she said? A week since what? How long have I been here? He came to my side, grabbing my hand gently, placing rushed kisses onto it. I looked at him, he looked unwell. Like he hadn't slept in a while, and the scruff on his face had grown quite visible.

"Alex, I'm so sorry, I-" he was interrupted by a nurse jogging into the room.

"You're awake!" She cheered, walking quickly over and checking all the monitors around me, then she took my head, moved it from side to side, and inspected my vitals.

" W-What happened? " my voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

I felt empty inside like my stomach was a black hole and my throat was killing me. Miles squeezed my hand tight and shuddered a bit.

" You've been in a coma for a week. I thought you died Alex you scared me so bad when you collapsed... " he said, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

A week. I've been in a coma for a week. The heart rate monitor sped up as worry clouded my mind. What happened? Why'd I go into a coma? What did I miss.

"Al, please calm down. I don't want you getting hurt." He said, rubbing my hand.

I continued to freak out, my eyes bouncing from place to place on the ceiling.

"Look at me," he said. I didn't comply. "Look at me!" Miles said, getting close to me, and grabbing my face.

He made me look into his eyes and I felt a sense of calm come over me. His eyes flickered down to my lips, and then back to my eyes as he gulped. Just then, the doctor walked into the room.

"Woah, am I interrupting something?" The Doctor said.

Miles backed up. A blush rose on both our cheeks. He brushed himself off.

"Guess not? Alright, well, Welcome back Mr.Turner." the doctor said, walking close to the bed.

" U-uh yeah I guess...when can I go home? " I asked.

He thought for a second, " I suppose you could go home tonight. Do you have a ride or do you need a cab? "

I looked at Miles who nodded at me, " I have a ride thanks. "

" Okay well I'll just let you relax then, " he said with a smile.

The doctor left me with Miles and closed the door behind him. I leaned back in the bed and sighed. Miles sat next to me and took me hand playing with my fingers gently. His hands were rough against mine and it felt so nice to have him holding my hand. Suddenly my thoughts caught up with me.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, Miles." I said.

My throat hurt less but it still ached slightly. He looked up, his surprised eyes gazing into mine.

"I forgive you, just... Please, don't do this to me again, yeah?" He asked, squeezing my hand. I nodded.

"I promise yer, I won't ever do this again. I can't promise that I won't be stupid, but I can promise that I will never accidentally try and kill myself again." I said.

Miles laughed a sad but happy laugh, looking down and squeezing my hand again.

"I love you, Turner." He said, looking up and into my eyes again.

"I love you too, Kane." I responded, finally finding strength to squeeze his hand back.

He gave me a smile, and I returned the action, flashing him my cheeky grin.

He blushed a bit and murmured, " Cmon you git, let's grab the things we need so we can leave. "

I nodded and stood up, taking the hospital gown off leaving me just in my boxer briefs. I grabbed the clothes that I came here in and pulled them on.

" Hm...better, " I murmured looking over at Miles.

He was blushing intensely and his hands were fidgeting. I walked over to him and squeezed his hand gently.

" C'mon Kane " I murmured letting out a soft chuckle, " Let's go home... "

~ Co-written with IDEKTERBEAR ~