{ Miles POV }

I woke up in bed with a half naked person on top of me.

I myself am wearing only my boxers and I'm pretty sure I had a hard on right now.

A blush spread through my cheeks as I sat up, ready to apologize to the bird I brought home just to see that it wasn't a bird.

It was Alex, completely asleep.

His boxers still clung to his body but the sheets looked dirty with sweat and who knows what else.

Fear shot through me and I got out of bed quickly, picking all my clothes up from last night and shoving them in my wardrobe.

I ran to the bathroom taking a shower and trying to look halfway presentable.

Maybe he won't remember.

I can probably convince him that we brought birds with us and they left before he woke up.

I could make up a fake number to give to him and say it's some girls.

My heart and mind raced as I exited the shower and dried off; pulling on clean clothes and making my way to the kitchen.

Oh god, what if he remembers?

He'll hate me for the rest of his life, oh god.

My hands shook with anxiety as my heart raced.

I grabbed a bottle of water chugging it down.

I took a few deep breaths calming my nerves a bit.

I stared straight ahead with my hands in front of my face.

My legs were bouncing and my breaths were deep and shallow.

I was trying so hard to remember what had happened last night, but I just couldn't.

I sat there for probably an hour when Al emerged from my room.

He was holding his head and squinting, still in his boxers as he walked out.

"God, Mi. What the fuck happened last night?" He said, sitting at the aisle across from me and placing his head down on the marble.

"Eh, think we brought some birds home like." I said, nervously tapping my feet.

"Realleh? Tha' knows?" He asked.

"Yeah." I responded.

"D'you think we did a gang bang?" He asked.

I choked on air.

Al looked up, curiously gazing at me.

"Y'alright?" He asked.

"F-fine..." I said, getting up and grabbing the asprins and water.

I handed him water and two aspirins, turning my back to him and taking my own aspirins.

My heart hammered in my chest as arms wrapped around me.

I squeaked and blushed as Alex nuzzles into my neck.

"Sorry for using your bed, mate. I'll clean up everythin' for you." Alex murmured, practically pressing his whole body to me.

I could feel me pants tighten and become uncomfortable.

I pulled away.

"Ahahaha don't worry about it Al, I'll take care of it be right back!" I practically screamed the last part, running to the bathroom.

I began to hyperventilate in the bathroom.

I was pacing back and forth.

I finally collapsed on the floor in the furthest corner from the door.

I yanked a towel down from the shower door and I bundled it up in front of my face.

I was turned on but I shouldn't be.

The feeling soon went away as I began to cry into the towel.

The emotion I felt was overwhelming as I let the towel muffle my body raking sobs.

I knew that I loved Alex.

Alexander David Turner was the love of my life but I was scared.

I was so bloody scared, and I wasn't even 100% sure why.

I wish so badly that I could remember what happened, I wanted to.

I wanted to know how I made Al feel even if he was drunk and didn't mean it.

I cried even harder, and that's when I heard a knock on the door.

"Go away." I murmured letting my emotions get the best of me.

"Mi? What's wrong? Are you okay are you hurt?" his voice was high pitched and full of worry.

He started to mess with the the door handle trying to get in but I had locked it.

"Mi...Mi please let me in, please!" he said, his voice shaking.

I whimpered looking at the door, "I can't get up...use the key on my nightstand."

It was true.

My legs felt like jelly and my stomach churned.

I heard Alex leave probably going to find the keys.

"What have I done?" I muttered to myself, continuing to shake and cry into the towel.

I honestly didn't know what I had done but I knew all at the same time.

I felt so sick, I could've vomited.

I was so jaded in bawling that I hadn't noticed that Al had entered the bathroom.

He threw the keys and ran over to me, landing on his knees infront of me.

"Mi, oh, Miles..." He said.

I probably looked a wreck but I felt like one.

He touched my leg and I flinched.

He backed up for a moment.

"Miles, please, what happened?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"I'm sorry!" I cried out.

My trembling was uncontrollable. I was screaming frantically.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Alex!" I shouted.

"Miles, stop!" He shouted back, grabbing me and constricting me in his arms.

As he whispered "It'll be okay." in my ear.

My tears almost instantly stopped, my whole body calming down just by hearing him whispers those few words.

I clung to Alex letting him pick me up and carry me to the guest room.

He lay down with me, holding me close and rubbing my back.

"It's okay, Mi. You're okay. I'm here." he murmured.

I clung more to the man finding comfort in his arms.

He rubbed my sides and nuzzled into me.

"Rest, love. All will be better later." he said softly.

I nodded and nuzzled into him closing my eyes but never falling asleep.

I eventually felt him leave probably to go clean my room and have a cig.

After a while of feeling an empty room, I opened my eyes.

They hurt.

They burned.

They were tired.

I turned my head, not having the initiative to move all that much.

After looking around, I lay my head back to where it originally was, and let a few stray tears escape.

What a bloody git I am.

I felt pathetic.

I felt weak.

Alex would know everything now and probably hate me.

He just saw my weakest moment.

Granted, he helped me, and I was so greatful.

But I felt so stupid.

Letting myself get so emotional like that.

I felt the tears gradually soak the pillow.

I still felt bad but I wasn't shaking like I was earlier.

I was still.

Soon, Alex came back into the room, the smell of smoke on him.

He laid back down in front of me, on his side, facing me.

"Hey, Mi." He said.

He looked stressed.

"How are ye' feeling?" He asked, placing a hand on my cheek and stroking it gently as he looked into my eyes.

I didn't say a word.

Tears continues to pour down my cheeks.

I finally lets some words escape.

"I'm fine...don't worry." I murmured softly.

He sighed.

"I could never stop worrying about you, Mi. Don't cry." he wiped away some tears and held me close.

I wanted to tell him.

I wanted him to know that I woke up with him on top of me but I didn't.

I sighed and nuzzled into him.

"Thanks. For taking care of me." I murmured.

He chuckled.

"Of course I'd take care of you. You're my closest friend." he laughed.

Friend.

What a pain in the arse that word was.

Al had spit out that word so many times now.

It only made me lose hope.

I could be his closest Friend if Thats all I got.

but it still hurt.

I let a few more tears out before I closed my eyes tightly, moving down and nuzzling into Al's neck and chest.

He wrapped an arm around me, and kissed the top of my head a few times.

I sniffed as I wiped my face gently.

As we laid there, I suddenly heard Al's deep voice begin to sing softly.

"I'm going back to 505... If it's a seven hour flight or a fourtyfive minute drive... In my imagination you're lying waiting in your side... With your hands between tour thighs..."

I wrapped an arm around him.

He ran his hand comfortingly up and down my back as he kept singing.

He backed me up a little, kissing my forehead before continuing.

"But I crumble completely when you cry..." He sang.

I only hugged him tighter.

He continued the song just humming under his breath holding me close to him.

I breathed in his scent and gripped his shirt as tightly as I could, my knuckles turning white.

He made soft little soothing noises rocking me back and forth until I felt my eyelids begin to droop.

My eyes became heavy with exhaustion and I drifted off to sleep in Al's arms.

~~~

I woke with a start in a cold empty bed.

"Alex?" I called out immediately.

I heard footsteps come to the room.

"Yeah, Mi? Do you need
something?" he asked with concern.

I was glad that he was still here.

"Eh, nothin'. I was just wondering if ye' were still here like. Bein' as you weren't in the room." I explained, still feeling drained.

"Of course I'm still here, Mi. I don't see my friend have a breakdown and then just leave him!" He said.

I looked down.

I know that he was trying to bring a little light and reassurance to the situation but it wasn't working.

"Mi, I'm sorry." He said, walking further into the room.

I shook my head.

"Its fine, Al." I said, giving him a small smile.

It was all that I could muster.

Al looked at me and then came to sit beside me.

He put a hand on me leg, rubbing it.

"Are yer gonna tell me what 'appened?" He asked, his Sheffield voice sounded concerned.

I kept my mouth closed.

Alex sighed and held me closer.

"Please, Mi...Tell me." he murmured.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I let out a whimper.

"I-I can't tell you. You'll freak out." I whispered.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean I'll freak out? What could have possibly been so bad that you can't tell-"

I cut him off, "There were no birds here last night. I think we might have had sex...I don't know. I was blackout drunk, you were blackout drunk. Please don't be mad." I rushed to say everything.

Alex's mouth opened and then closed, "but what about that phone number that was on a piece of paper on the counter?"

"I made that up and wrote it down. All I know is that I woke up with you on top of me and we were both in our boxers and the sheets were um...dirty." I murmured.

He kept his hand on me leg, though it wasn't moving.

He stared into my eyes, but I could only bear his stare for a moment.

That moment was just long enough for me to see his eyes glaze over.

I let out another whimper.

"I'm sorry, Al! I'm sorry!" I whispered.

"Hey, hey, Mi." He put his other hand on the side of my face, leaning over to try and look into my eyes.

"It's okay." He said.

"What?" I asked looking up in disbelief.

"It's okay." He repeated.

There was an odd underlying tone in his voice.

"We don't remember it. So does it really matter? I mean, it's weird yeah, but if we don't remember it, who knows if it actually happened." He said.

That kind of hurt.

"What about the dirty sheets, Al?! That doesn't just bloody appear!" I shouted.

Alex looked down, biting his lip.

He shrugged.

"I dunno, Mi." He said.

His voice wavered and he got up, leaving the room.