{ Miles POV }

"What's that look for?" Alex asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

I felt my cheeks burn red.

"Nothing," I murmured eating some more chips.

He sighed and finished his food before pulling out his wallet to pay.

I put my hand on his.

"I'll pay Al. Don't worry about it." I said sending him a big smile. He looked like he was gonna be sick.

"I'm- I'm gonna wait outside, yeah?" He said shakily.

I nodded and wiped my mouth.

Within seconds he was up and out the door.

I sighed and finished my food, paying and making my way outside, my eyes scanning the surrounding area for Alex.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and sniffed.

When I finally spotted Al, he was a few feet up the walk, his eyes closed as his hand held the cigarette to his lips.

He still looked odd.

He looked stressed, even.

After watching the cig dangle dauntingly on his pink lips, I walked up, patting him on the back.

"You alright, Alex? You seem a bit sick-like. Was it the food?" I asked curiously.

I hoped it wasn't the food, I'd feel bad for making us stay.

"Nah, mate. I'm eh- I'm fine. Tha' knows." He nodded, finishing off the cig.

"What should we do now?" I ask.

He looked down, then looked back and forth, another one of his nervous habits.

"Actually, d'ya think you could pick up some drinks? I think relaxing sounds proper." He said.

"Eh, sure. I'll meet you back at the flat, and maybe have a lay, then you might gain some color back." I said.

Alex nodded and started walking back to the flat.

I frowned and sighed making my way to the nearest mart.

I stepped inside the building going straight to the alcohol section.

I grabbed three bottles of bourbon and some whiskey as well as some vodka.

I made my way to the counter getting my wallet and ID out to pay for everything.

"That's a lot of booze," the guy said in an American accent.

I rolled my eyes.

Bloody git.

"Yeah er well my friend's stock is running low," I said trying to
ignore the man and end our ' friendly ' banter.

"Does this friend happen to be under the age of 18?" He asked.

"No, he's my age, now, I'd love to stay and chat with yer, but he's waiting." I didn't want to be rude, it wasn't in my nature, but I didn't like that man.

I grabbed my stuff and I began the walk back to Alex's flat.

Once I arrived, I knocked on the door, and Alex opened it.

I held up the bottles with a cheeky grin, he smiled and let me inside.

I sat the bottles on the table, walking around and putting the bags in his bin.

When I came back out he had two glasses ready to be poured into.

I grinned over at Alex happily.

"Ready to get pissed Honey?" I said in a soft teasing voice.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Ready to deal with my sorry ass while I'm pissed up and deal with tears until I eventually pass out on the floor?" he asked with a chuckle playing on his lips.

I let out a soft laugh and shook my head but in honesty I was worried about my best friend.

He's been pretty depressed recently.

As we drank I wondered if it was his last girlfriend.

Al was fairly loyal, and he was usually the one broken up with, and it only succeeded in fogging his mind further.

After a lot of alcohol had entered his system, he was staring at the floor, eyes glossy.

I was certainly tipsy, but I held back, just for now, watching the Sheffield Lad.

I was sitting next to him.

We were joking not 5 minutes ago, laughing until we cried.

But when it died down, and time got later, Al stayed rather still.

This was usual, his serious quiet side.

I let him sit, knowing that he wouldn't recall anything I said anyway.

"Whats wrong with me, Miles?" He finally spoke up, voice slurry and raspy.

"What, mate?" I ask.

He looked at me.

"I'm bloody miserable, Mi." He said.

He looked rather cute in this state. But now wasn't the time for those thoughts.

I frowned a bit and rubbed his back.

"Hey no bud you're not miserable. You have me to make you happy!" I exclaimed trying to cheer him up.

His behavior just became more depressing and my worry began to set in.

"Al...Al how's about we um have another shot?" my voice cracked at the end and a blush crept onto my face.

He nodded.

"Yeah er...okay," he murmured.

I poured us both another shot and held it up for him to take.

After we took down the shots, Al shook his head, his eyes going wide attentively.

I smiled a bit, hoping that to be a good sign.

He suddenly grabbed the bottle, pouring another shot and taking it down.

His throat had gone a bit pink. He then got up, with struggle, and walked around to his Ghetto Blaster, putting on some of our old music.

"Standing next to me." Came on and he began to sing and dance around the room.

I watched and laughed.

He waltzed over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me up to dance and sing.

This was better than sad Al.

As we sang, we came to the part where we always joint, sharing a microphone on stage.

Instead, we used a bottle.

As we sang, he got closer to me than ever, and as it ended, He slammed me to the wall, against the speakers, and pressed his lips to mine.

My whole body froze up as his lips pressed against mine.

This was really happening!! Alex FUCKING Turner was kissing me!!

I suddenly started kissing back running my hands up through his hair and tugging at it.

He groaned into my mouth and I shuddered as he lifted me up by my legs and pressed me harder against the wall.

My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands gripped my bum and he kissed me harder.

Our lips molded perfectly together, our eyes both closed.

A smile played on my lips as I pressed my lips harder to his.

He pulled me off the wall and started carrying me upstairs.

My heart thumped hard in my chest as fear and excitement went through my head.

I really want him to remember tonight but at the same time I'm scared that he'll be mad at me for letting us continue our heated make out session.

Once we got upstairs, he threw me on the bed, and he slowly began to crawl on top of me.

I gulped as I looked into his eyes, full of lust.

As much as I wanted this, and as much as I have wanted this for years, it's not right.

He's all pissed up and not in his right mind.

I wanted him.

I did.

And it tore me apart as he leant down, pressing his lips against my own.

I kissed back for a moment, a horrifically sad expression taking over my features.

It tore me apart even more, putting my hand on his chest, and pushing him back.

He fell to the side, and stared at me, the most hurt look I've ever seen apperant on his face.

I got up and rubbed my face.

"I'm sorry, Al." I said. He ignored me.

"Am I not good?" He asked, suddenly nervous.

"No, you're perfect." I responded.

"Why did you push me? You said that you were here to make me happy." He said, slurring.

A nervous tick.

"I am, but Al, you're drunk. You wouldn't remember it. You won't remember this. I'm in bloody love with you, but I won't take advantage of you." I whispered, my heart wrenching as I saw tears in his eyes.

"Miles, why am I not good enough?" his voice cracked, the tears beginning to pour down his face.

I felt my eyes well with tears.

"Alex I'm so sorry. I just don't want you to regret this in the morning." I rested my hand on his cheek and wiped away his tears.

He stared at me, his eyes hollow and sad.

"Can we at least cuddle?" he asked, the tone of his voice heartbreakingly sad as more tears spilled down his cheeks.

I stared at him for a moment, he sniffled and looked up into my eyes, he looked like a sad little kid.

"Of course we can." I broke.

"We can?" He asked, he sniffles again.

"Yes you git. Come here." I said, crawling onto the bed and laying back.

He laid back on me, placing his arm on my abdomen, and tracing shapes on my chest.

His head was just beneath mine, and he was tucked between my arm and body.

"I like this, y'know. I like you. I mean, proper fancy you." He spoke softly.

I felt more heartbreak.

What if all of this is fake?

What if it were all a drunken stupor?

I sighed.

"I fancy you too." I let out.

He wouldn't remember, May as well take my own advice and 'Let it out'.

He suddenly went very quiet, and stopped tracing circles.

"I'm sorry, Mi." He said, just above a whisper.

"For wh-" he cut me off with a kiss.

Then he pulled the duvet over us, and snuggled back into me.