{ Alex's POV }

I immediately delved into the bathroom when I left the room, needing a few minutes to compose myself.

My heart was beating a little faster than it should, and I was sweating lightly. I paced back and forth for a minute, then became paranoid that my pacing was loud, so I sat down on the floor, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the wall.

I thought about my actions just now and blushed a bit at how bold they were.

I wish we weren't interrupted.

I was in a mood.

I was in the  mood.

I could have done it but now I was too paranoid. Part of the whole idea made my skin itch with anticipation. The thought of trying to get off with Miles and possibly be caught. It was an attractive thought, but it was a bit unrealistic. I sighed and took in some deep breaths. Maybe it'd be better the next time we get into a hotel? With that thought, I stood up, splashed some water on my face, hid my shaking hands and stepped out into the main room.

I felt like everyone's eyes were on me. They must have heard us, they must have. I continued to shake and quickly walked past everyone and outside for a smoke. Just as I closed the door behind me I heard Miles and Zach talking.

Not five minutes later Miles walked out.

"You okay, love?" he asked softly.

I didn't reply.

"Al?" Miles murmured, his hand landing on my arm gently.

I flinched and pushed him away.

"N-no they'll see us..." I whimpered, putting out my cigarette and quickly going back inside to my bunk.

I climbed into the bunk, pressing myself as close to the wall as I could.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

I couldn't stop the paranoid thoughts that demanded they run ramped through my brain. I was shaking, but I thought perhaps, as long as I stayed right here, I'd be okay. My curtain was drawn. I heard the door open quietly and I willed my shakes to stop in case in was making any noise.

 "Al?" Mi's voice softly rang out.

"Laa?" He asked.

 I heard his soft foot steps approach my bunk. I should have drawn the other curtains, surely he knew I was in here.

It was just then that I heard the curtain drawn, and a body slid into the bunk, radiating a warmth that soothed and tensed my body simultaneously.

There was a moment of silence as I tried to press myself against the wall of the small bunk. The situation made everything feel like it were shrinking.

Suffocating.

It seemed like only a second before Miles raised his hand and pushed hair behind my ear. I twitched. What if someone walked in here right now, and they looked in the bunk because they couldn't find Miles or I? Then they'd see us together.

"Whats wrong, love?" Miles' voice was soft, warm, and tentative.

I stayed still and silent.

I felt his arm slowly slip around my waist, pulling me against his body. Moulding me perfectly against him. I squeezed my eyes shut.

In that moment, I felt his lips press softly to the nape of my neck.

How long would I let him stay here, until my worries got the best of me, and told him to leave?

 I don't want to hurt him.

I can't risk this, we can't risk this.

We're not ready, I'm not ready.

My breathing began to accelerate at the thoughts racing through my head. I'm sure Miles could feel my shaking harshly.

"Are you cold, love?" he asked softly and lovingly.

I gulped painfully and tried to ignore the nagging in my mind that was pressing me to kick him out of the bunk, but no matter what I did my thoughts still haunted me.

"G-Get out." I said shakily, my own words tasting like poison on my tongue.

"W...What?"

"Leave me be, I don't want people to catch us like this..."

I looked up into his eyes and instantly regretted doing so. His gorgeous brown eyes had filled with tears and his bottom lip had begun to quiver. I was about to say something but he quickly got out of the bunk and I could hear him choke out a sob as he walked off in the direction of our room that I guess wasn't really ours anymore. The door slammed and my hands began to shake.

 "Fuck." I whimpered out, punching my pillow with as much force as I could muster.

My shaking had become concerning by the time I decided to get out of the bunk. I went into the front room and grabbed a water bottle with my shaking hand. The bus driver looked at me.

"Okay there, Alex?" he asked.

I simply nodded and stepped off the bus which had been parked to get some gas.

"Where are you going?" the driver asked.

I shrugged.

"I'll get a taxi to the next venue, it's not too far off. Go on without me. I just need a break."

The driver sighed and nodded as I closed the door and walked off in a random direction trying to give myself a reasonable explanation as to why Miles deserved to be treated the way I was treating him. No explanations made sense and none of them would make up for the raw pain I saw hiding in his eyes.

I stood in front of the gas station for a bit, just sort of glancing out at the bus and the terrain. I bit my lip, then looked to my side, considering my options. I then stepped inside, walking around and finding a couple delicious looking chocolates and going to the register, requesting a pack of cigs. Before the girl rung up my purchases, I ran back, grabbing another one of the most delicious looking chocolate bars. I know Miles likes this one. I set it down gently and paid for the items. Then, I sat down under the shade of the building outside and opened one of the chocolates.

Cigarettes and Chocolate.

I laughed to myself as I thought of it, attempting to ignore my shaking and pretending that I wasn't Alex Turner. That I was just some man, who fancied a smoke and a snack.

I could hear the bus rev up to life after a while. By this time I was on my third cigarette and my mind was a muddled mess.

I stood up, panic hitting me like a truck. Suddenly I didn't want to take a taxi anymore. I wanted to be with Miles and give him the chocolate and cry to him until he forgives me. As much as I wanted to do those things, I was frozen. I heard a car horn and I looked up to see our driver looking at me with a smile. He motioned towards the door and I nodded softly before shoving the cigs into my pocket and walking to the vehicle.

"Please forgive me..." I whispered to myself as I opened the door and stepped inside.

I closed and locked the door before going to the back room and staring at the wood blocking me from seeing my baby. I sighed and knocked nervously on the door, holding the chocolate bar in my hand and fidgeting nervously.

A lock clicked and the door opened to reveal a puffy eyed Miles, sniffles escaping him. I looked up at him and gently placed the chocolate bar in his hand.

He smiled a bit, looking at the wrapping and sighing.

"Baby..." I whispered.

"I appreciate that you brought me chocolate Alexander, but I'm not really in the mood to talk to you."

I flinched, "M-Mi please..."

"No, Alex!"

I frowned and looked up at the man. His face looked distraught and his whole body was shaking. I could see tears forming in his eyes. I looked down at the grip I had on his forearm. I don't want to let him go.

I felt Miles flex his arm under my grip.

"Let go, Alexander." He whispered.

I gulped.

"Alex," he tried to yank his arm away but I only stepped forward and kept my grip on him.

I wasn't gripping him hard enough to hurt him, I knew that, but my grip might have been unnecessarily tight.

"Al-" he tried.

I got an idea.

'God, please let this work.' I thought just before I launched towards Miles, wrapping my arms around his strong frame and hugging him tightly as I buried my face into his neck.

Miles didn't move as I heard him drop the chocolate to the floor.

I felt him twitch beneath me and I hugged him even tighter, silently begging for words to come out of his sweet lips.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and relished having him in my arms.

"Aly..." Miles sighed out.

I tensed up. Please don't push me away, please don't push me away. He squirmed slightly in my arms and grunted as I held tighter.

"Al, please baby..."

"I'm sorry. Please don't make me let you go." I wimpered out.

Tears squeezed out of my eyes and got trapped in the fabric of Miles' shirt. Finally his arms wrapped around me. A sob escaped the taller man as he clung to me and shook.

"I'm so sorry."I whispered into his chest.

"Aly..." he whimpered as he pulled me closer to him.

His arms went under my bum and he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him and clung to him as he closed the door and held me close. I could still feel his tears soaking into my shirt but it didn't matter anymore, I was in his arms and he was mine. That's all that matters.

"I love you." I whispered softly.

Miles said nothing as he laid us down on the bed and clung to me.

As I clung to the man, I thought a little more about earlier.

Me trying to be dominant was fun, but I knew deep down that I much preferred it when Miles took control.

I sighed.

In that moment, I remembered the forgotten chocolate bar on the floor, and peeled myself away from Miles, (with much resistance from him) and I grabbed it, jumping back into Miles' arms.

I peeled open the package and broke off a small piece, looking up and holding it to Miles' lips. His eyes looked a bit droopier than usual, in a sad way.

I mentally kicked myself for hurting him.

I traced his slightly parted lips with the chocolate piece before pushing it into his mouth with a sweet smile.

He chewed on it happily, his face a light shade of pink.

I kissed his light pink cheeks and fed him another piece of chocolate and his lips pulled up into a smile. I grinned and hesitantly kissed his soft lips. He kissed back gently and wrapped his arms around me. God I love this man.

His soft hands gently traced shapes on my back as I cuddled into him. I felt his lips press a soft kiss to my head. I could feel my cheeks heat up and Miles giggled at my red cheeks.

"Shut up!" I whined as I hid my cheeks.

He giggled more and squeezed me causing me to squeak. I whined more and squirmed as he lifted my face and pressed his lips to mine.

"God,you're so amazing." Miles murmured.

"Not as amazing as you," I replied.

"Pfft, yeah right I mean come on have you looked in a mirror?"

"Have you?" I questioned with a grin.

"Get off it." Miles mumbled, smiling as he pressed his lips to mine once more.

He tasted sweet like the chocolate.

It was addictive.

I pulled away just for a moment.

"Stop the world cause I wanna..."

Miles smiled and glanced down at my lips, out faces only a mere inch and a half apart. "Get off, with you..." We sang softly to one another.

"Little Monkeh." He commented before pressing his lips to mine softly.

He ran his fingers through my hair gently.

We parted and I placed my head on his chest again, and he continued stroking my hair in a soothing motion, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling and the sound of my lovers heart beat.

My eyes began to droop as Miles ran his hands through my hair. His fingers twisted in my hair gave me such a sense of ease as I began to fall asleep in my lover's arms.

"Goodnight sweet prince," I heard Miles say before everything became dark.

-

I woke later to Miles passed out on top of me. His head was on my chest and a bit of drool dripping out of his mouth. I giggled and ran my hand through the taller boys short hair. It was beginning to grow out a bit, just enough to where I could run my hands in it but not quite long enough to tug. He grunted and nuzzled into me.

"What a cutie." I whispered, staring at the ceiling as I rubbed his head.

As I laid there, I thought about earlier once again.

I thought about the sad look in his almond shaped eyes.

It felt like more than I had caused that, despite the fact that I probably caused the majority of it.

I prayed to myself and hoped that Miles wasn't feeling depressed or homesick. That was the last thing he needed.

The last thing any of us needed.

I made a mental note to look out for any blatant signs later on.

I rubbed his back gently and sighed intently, closing my eyes and cherishing his warmth.

As I began to drift back to sleep, his arms tightened around me and my eyes flew open. I gently rubbed Miles' head and cooed to him until his grip loosened and he was one again in the clutches of his dreams.

I couldn't help but stare at the slightly younger man, taking his features in and memorizing them all. His little birthmarks and his eyelashes that skimmed his cheekbones lightly.

His soft skin that was a creamy very light tan which complemented him completely. His lips which were slightly parted as he snored softly and gripped my shirt.

He was beautiful. Everything about him captivated me and I wanted to be his entirely, be out in public holding hands, kissing, anything. Yet at the same time, the thought of the criticism we would get terrified me.

My mind went back to our first few tours. When I was dating Alexa and I thought everything seemed so perfect but I was just hiding behind a mask of insecurities and phobia. I remember messing around with Miles and I remember telling Alexa and her not being concerned about it, maybe because she knew all along what I was hiding but I wasn't sure.

I sat up gently, pushing Miles onto his side and pressing a kiss to his cheek before going out to the kitchen like area. I grabbed a water bottle and began to drink from it slowly as we drove towards the next venue.

After a while I went to grab my guitar, and I sat down on the sofa and sighed as I began strumming lightly. Tour life was nice, I never had a problem with it, not really. Being on tour was something that I just didn't mind all that much. The cities were beautiful, you're traveling with your closest friends and sometimes even family, it's wonderful. Of course, I'd get a bit skittish once the interviews started, I really believed that over the years I've come out of my shell.

When I'd first started, it seemed like I didn't have a shell. I wasn't that shy. Then, around Humbug, you really could hardly talk to me, hell, I wouldn't even talk to my own band mates most of the time. But now I was way more okay with it, I could cope and this thought made me smile as I breathed in the tour bus air and strummed my guitar.

As my fingers slightly slid against the strings creating a soft sound, I felt a presence in the room. I looked up and notice Miles staring at me with soft eyes and a lovely smile.

A blush crept up on my cheeks as his smile grew wider.

"Did I wake you up?" I murmured.

"I've actually been awake since you stopped rubbing my head. You were so quiet I thought you fell asleep but then you got up and left me there." he said with a slight but cute pout.

" 'am sorry, love." I whispered under my breath.

He simply smiled and sat beside me.

"You know I love you, right?"

I froze, my fingers not even moving against the guitar strings as his words sunk into me. I knew they were true but I just loved hearing the worlds leave his luscious lips.

"I love you more." I said with a soft smile and shy eyes.

I refused to look into his eyes, afraid of drowning in their color and the emotions lying inside them.

We sat there like that for a while. The only sound being the tires roaring along the asphalt.

I turned my head to the side ever so slightly, only catching a glimpse of his legs before I turned away and began to strum again, some what awkwardly.

Not too long after I'd done that, I felt his hand snake up to my shoulder and he gripped it lightly.

He then shifted, grabbing the guitar from my hand, setting it down gently nearby.

Then, he snaked his arm around my neck, using his other hand to touch my jawline gently, pushing my face to look at his.

We looked into each others eyes and he gently began running his thumb back and forth from the corner of my mouth back down to his hand.

I was hypnotized.

I swear I couldn't look away when his chocolatey orbs looked into mine. Everything about him just put me in a trance.

"Al..Al!" Miles said, almost as if he'd been calling my name for a while.

"W-what?" I asked, shaking myself out of my trance and looking down at my hands which were ripping a hole in my shirt against my own will.

He grabbed my hands gently and brought them up to his face, kissing them and setting them down. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me into his lap. I tensed up, looking behind me at the thin curtain separating the drivers section from the rest of the bus. Miles' lips connected to my neck and I began to shake, not having the heart to push him off and not wanting to pull away from his gorgeous embrace.

I whimpered when he began to suck on my collarbone, I tried to suppress the moan building up inside me.

"L-Lets go to our room..." I said nervously.

"Awe c'mom love, no one's awake and the driver can't hear us or see us." he murmured, nipping at my ear cause me to yelp quietly.

He chuckled and nuzzles into me, pressing kisses down my throat. My shaking started to scare me at one point when I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted Miles now but I refused to get caught.

"Al baby, it's okay stop shaking." Miles said, his voice muffled as he was pressed to my neck.

His hands were under my bum and he lifted me up slightly so I was sitting higher then he and he began to kiss below my collarbone while pulling my shirt down.

"M-Miles I'm being serious!" I nearly yelled.

He flinched and covered my mouth. We both listened for anyone who might have heard my outburst. He sighed a bit.

"I'm sorry." he murmured, holding my shaking body close.

"I just sort of...let my dick take over I guess." he said with a soft laugh.

I simply nodded and allowed him to pick me up and carry me to our room.