{ Alex's P.O.V. }

After a while of cuddling, Mi had let out a curse.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked, sleepily.

 "We never stopped back to the bus to grab our bags." He said.

 "Mm..." I hummed.

 "Should I go get them?" He said, after a moment of silence.

 "No, no, love... Don't worry about it. You stay with me." I said, rubbing his chest.

 He sighed contently, "Alright." He then scooted a little further down in the bed, Turing on his side and wrapping his arm around me. I continued to nuzzle into the warm man, images of the shower scene flashing through my head. I kept my thinking of it to a minimal though, making sure that I wouldn't get off enough to want a round two. Especially since we only had these boxers with us. Couldn't soil anything with this situation. I exhaled, closed my eyes, and let myself plant a soft kiss on Miles' chest.

His chuckle rumbled through his body and he held me closer, a smile on his lips.

I watched him, fascinated by the beautiful creature in front of me. I can believe I finally get to call him mine.

"I love you." I murmur softly, tightening my grip on his waist.

"I love ya' too, Al." he murmurs, holding me just as tight.

I closed my eyes to fall asleep but when I finally did fall into the confines of slumber, I was hit by a nightmare. It was mainly just screaming. Horrible, scary screaming.

The screaming was loud and blood curdling.

I felt trapped as if I couldn't wake up. Suddenly, I heard one scream, that made me want to be sick. Miles' screaming. It sounded like he was being stabbed, and ripped apart. I began screaming, and suddenly I shot up, wide awake. I kept screaming and I was shaking violently, feeling like the sheets were constricting me. My stomach was churning, I felt like I could be sick, I couldn't breathe. My throat began to hurt and tears streamed down my face. Miles came running in the room from the balconey and jumped on the bed, putting his hands on my shoulders, "Al! Alex! Stop! Stop!!! What's wrong?!" He shouted at me, but I wasn't listening. The sounds, the sounds were horrible.

 "You'll wake up the whole hotel!" He said trying to hug me. I pushed him away and fell on the floor. I was having a panic attack. A bad one.

I tugged at my hair and scream-sobbed into my knees. I couldn't even hear Miles as he held me and cooed in my ear gently. My body was being rocked, which calmed me down a little bit but sobs were still escaping my lips. My throat felt raw and my eyes were burning with tears. I finally was conscious enough to wrap my arms around Miles and let him hold me. I sobbed into his chest and clung to him for dear life, all the while yelling out gibberish and shaking. It took me nearly an hour to calm down completely but when I did, I was exhausted.

I was in Mi's lap, and he was still rocking me back and forth gently. My face felt heavy and puffy. I went to speak but nothing came out, my voice was practically gone. I tried to speak again. "Mi," was all I could get out.

 "Yeah?" His voice was quivering.

 What was I even trying to say?

"T-than-" my voice was actually gone. What have I done?

"Dont speak, love. Don't speak." He said, the rocking picked up a bit but it was still just as comforting.

 Was he crying?

I didn't know, I could hardly think.

I felt myself being lifted, and Mi climbed into bed with me. He was sitting up a bit more, and he had me curled up on top of him, as he soothingly ran his hand up and down my back. I let my eyes fall closed. My lip still shivered slightly, as a choked sob would arise every few minutes, along with a hiccup.

-

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and no voice.

 I sat up and saw that I was still in Miles' arms. He was fast asleep and had tear tracks on his cheeks. I swallowed and got up, going into the bathroom.

 I washed my face to get rid of the tear tracks and I tried letting out a few words but to no avail, my voice was completely gone.

 We wouldn't be able to preform if I couldn't sing.

I let out a sigh and got in the shower hoping that the warm water would soothe my tense muscles.

I stood in the shower, leaning against the wall as the water ran over me. I slowly felt myself relax. The pounding in my skull became duller, and I tried to sing in the shower. My voice was there, but it was hardly audiable. I still wouldn't be able to perform. Luckily, we were doing a night show, so I would have all day to rest my voice. I wandered back into the main room, pulling on my boxers, black trousers, and shirt. I sat on the bed and Miles began to stir. I looked away as he sat up, rubbing his tired eyes.

"How long have you been up?" He asked.

 I held my own arms.

 "Al?" He asked.

"I fucked up my voice." I barely choked out.

Mi didn't make a sound as he got up to use the bathroom. When he came back he started to get dressed.

"I don't want to leave you alone, I'm gonna go down and make you tea in the dining hall. So do you want to come with me?" He asked.

I shrugged and let out a little sigh getting up.

"Yeah." I whispered hoarsely as I followed him down the the dining hall.

I watched him closely seeing all his nervous ticks. I smiled and hesitantly took his hand. Of course I was still terrified of being a public couple but little hand holds were normal for us and I'm sure it would make Miles happy. Sure enough, a grin took over his features and made him shine with happiness. He pulled me carefully to the mess hall and started making me tea.

As we approached the place were hot water was despensed, Miles grabbed a cup, filling it with water. I began to look around, and noticed that people sprinkled across the room were staring at us. I gulped as I looked back at them all. Not everyone in the room was looking, only a few were, but it made me a little nervous.

 What if they knew who we were?

 I felt my hand being squeezed and I looked back to Miles, who was offering me a soft, comforting smile. He steeped the bag for a few minutes before handing it to me.

He made a cup for himself, and we went back up to the room. I sat on the bed, taking slow, careful sips of the hot liquid. It soothed my throat almost instantly. Miles sat down next to me, one hand holding his own tea, and one hand setting itself on my back.

I sipped my tea and stared out the window into the morning sky. The clouds were gray masking, the sunshine that rarely poured through. I leaned into Miles as he rubbed my back gently and hummed. My throat still hurt a bit but after finishing my tea I was able to talk.

"Miles...'Am hungry." I murmured softly, nuzzling into the larger man.

He nodded a bit and slowly finished his tea.

"How 'bout we go out to breakfast? My treat."

A little pout took over my features.

"If we go out anywhere, I'm gonna pay." I said looking up at him.

He frowned. "Al, you paid for the last meal because I was being a bloody idiot and stormed out." He said.

My eyebrows furrowed as I placed my forehead against the side of his head, letting my hand fall down to touch his leg.

"Mi, come on, just let me pay when we go out." I argued.

If I couldn't even top in the bed I had to at least pay for our meals. I wanted to seem even the least bit dominant, even in what looked like just friendship to the public eye.

"We will switch off, I will pay this time, alright? To make up for ruining our meal by being such a git." He said, moving his hand to my shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

I bit my lip, and a heat rose to my cheeks as I spoke my next words.

"It did lead to a pretty great time in the shower." I felt heat radiate from him.

"Lets just go out." He finally murmured, putting his shoes on.

I let out a small giggle and followed him out of the room. We walked to the elevator taking it down to the main floor and exiting the building.

"Where should we go for breakfast then?" I asked softly.

Miles shrugged, "Let's just start walking. We're bound to find a place." he said with a soft smile.

We walked for a while passing cafe after cafe until we found a small restaurant that suited us.

We were seated and immediately given menus. I stared at my menu unsure of what to eat.

I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat, my eyes hopping from word to word on different pages, but never taking In what they said.

I felt a hand over my own and I looked up at Miles. He was smiling at me in a calm way, and squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"Can't decide?" He asked.

I bit my lip and nodded, looking down.

"I'll help you decide." He said.

He then asked me a few questions like, whether I wanted a heavy or light breakfast, stuff like that. Finally the waiter came back, and took our order. When he left, Miles smiled and looked down, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his social media. I rested my face against my hand, smiling as I observed the man before me. Sometimes his mouth would twitch, or he'd let out a soft chuckle.

It made me feel quite warm.

I stared at Miles for a few minutes, a small smile sitting on my lips. I'm sure to anyone else right now, they would be able to tell how in love I was with the man in front of me, but in this moment, I didn't care. I'd simply let out a content sigh, taking in the smiling Miles before me. Quite a few minutes passed, and he finally clicked his phone off, slipping it into his pocket, and he looked up at me, a shy look appearing on his face.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied, bringing my hand down.

"Why are ya' starin' at me?" He asked.

"Because I lo-" the waiter came.

"Here is your food gentlemen," he said.

Miles puffed out his cheeks, trying to keep in laughter as I shrunk down, mumbling a 'cheers' to the man, begging him to go away in my mind.

He soon left leaving me and a snickering Miles to our food. I started to eat, feeling Miles stare at me with every bite I took. I let out a laugh and looked up.

"What da' ya' want then?" I asked softly.

He cheeks burned red, "I love ya' " he murmured softly, looking down at his lap shyly.

"I love you too, ya' git," I said with a chuckle, taking his free hand and giving it a soft squeeze.

We resumed eating our food, stealing glances at each other every so often, causing laughter and foot touches to occur.

My throat felt fine by this point, but Miles told me not to strain too much, just in case.

As we finished our meal, I reached in my pocket to grab my wallet, Miles said my name in a warning tone.

"Alex..." I grumpily slouched back, knowing that my attempts were in vain.

He pulled his wallet out, looking at he check and putting down the proper amount of money. The waiter came and collected it, and Miles stood up, holding a hand out to me to help me from the booth. This was unnecessary but I took his hand and when I was up, expected him to let go, but he didn't. He didn't seem to notice that he was still holding it, but I let him, keeping close to him so that no one could really tell if we were just bumping hands or holding them.

We walked back to where our bus was and made it inside. I never released Miles' hand, instead I pulled him towards our room and locked the door.

The bus started moving to the next venue as I pushed Mi down on the bed and straddled him.

 Before he could let any words out, I began grinding my body against his causing friction. His mouth fell open in surprise and pleasure as we both grew harder by the minute.

"A-Al...fuck." he groaned, reaching his hands up to tug at my hair.

I continued to grind my hips into his, letting my eyes close, mouth open, and letting my head fall back as I let out a throaty moan. Miles continued to pull my hair, and I let out another moan as he roughly tugged it, pulling my head towards his. He kissed me lustfully, then moved his mouth to my ear.

"Don't strain your voice." He whispered deeply.

I rocked back and forth, letting out a groan. His voice was so attractive when it got deep or raspy.

"Screw my voice." I whispered back, keeping my main focus on the friction between our trousers.

"Screw you." Miles let out a deep chuckle, effortlessly flipping us over. I whined, wishing that I could be on top, but that thought quickly left as he began grinding roughly.

I let out a moan, gripping the sheets beneath me. Miles continued to grind harshly against me creating a rougher friction between us. He let out a moan and practically bounced against me. I squealed at the contact, tugging at the sheets and closing my eyes tight. I wanted him so bad but I knew he wouldn't take me unless we came out to the public. I whimpered and squirmed against Mi feeling my emotions flood me.

"M-Mi please," I whimpered out, throwing my hands up and tugging at his hair.

He was quick to grip my wrists and pin them on the bed, leaving me squirming and practically unable to grip anything. I'd been holding back the extent of my vocal noises by focusing on gripping whatever I could, but he took that away, so as he continued thrust, I bit my lip as hard as I could. It started to become painful and I had no choice but to stop. Whether it was the heat of the moment, or a genuine desire, Miles leant down and whispered aggressively in my ear, "Let the bus driver hear you." Under any other circumstance I would suddenly be filled with anxiety, yet I was so close to a peak that instead, I let out a long, loud, drawn out moan of Miles' name as I pushed my hips upward, forcing rougher contact between our bodies.

My whole body burned and shook, my heart pounded as pleasure flowed through my body. I released the pressure building in my stomach as moans escaped my slightly parted lips. I panted as Miles also released, ruining both our trousers. I let out a groan.

"God dammit Mi, look what you do to me!" I whined.

He let out a soft chuckle and collapsed on top of me wrapping his arms around my body. My heart beat sped up as he pressed a soft kiss to my neck. I shivered and rubbed his back.

"I love you, Mi...so much." I murmured.

"I love yo too, Al." He whispered breathily into my neck. "How many trousers are we going to soil though?" I joked, feeling the light sweat on my forehead begin to go away.

"I can't help that I can't control myself with you. You get me riled up and I can't stop." He said.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

God, Miles made me feel so special. I felt like the most important man in the world, as well as the luckiest.

"I can't control myself either, you're just so... Addictive." I murmured back.

Miles rolled off me, laying next to me and looking into my eyes as he brought a hand to stroke my jaw.

"You've made that perfectly clear." He joked.

I turned red again and Miles let out his beautiful laugh, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my nose.

I scrunched up my nose at the contact and leaned into Miles. His warmth surrounded me as his arms wrapped around my body. I loved this, just being with him and being held by him. The moment was short lived though as the bus stopped, probably to get gas, and the bus driver yelled something incoherent. I sighed and stared at the ceiling not sure what to do now. My thoughts went back to our moaning and me practically screaming. Did the bus driver actually hear us? My heart skipped a beat and I gripped Mi's shirt trying to stay calm.

I felt Miles grip me a little tighter.

"Woah, hey, are you alright?" He asked in a calm, warm voice.

I looked up at him quickly. "Yeah." Was all I said as I bit my lip.

His eyebrows furrowed.

"A twitching body, fast paced breathing and a tightening of grip don't seem okay..." He murmured, bringing a hand up and running it through my hair, stopping at the back of my head and massaging my skull for a moment.

I laid my head back onto his chest, resuming my position.

"I'm fine, Mi. Just silly thinking." I commented. I took in Mi's scent.

"Thinking about what?" He asked.

I bit my lip again, but it hurt a little more this time after what I'd just done earlier. I tilted my head up, scooting closer so that I could look in Miles' eyes. Then I kissed him instead of answering.

Miles kissed back but quickly pulled away and gave me a stern look.

"Thinking about what, Al?"

I let out a little sigh and looked down, fidgeting with my fingers. I started to notice how small my hands were compared to Miles', forcing me off track as my mind went on its own little adventure. I was pulled away by my day dreaming by the sound of Mi's voice.

"Alex c'mon, tell me." he whined softly.

I blushed a bit and finally replied, "I was just wondering if the bus driver actually heard us."

I wasn't always best with communication, but quick little moments like these, I could do. The corner of Miles' mouth turned into a small smile.

"No, love. I don't think that he did, but that would be an interesting thing. If he has." He says.

I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck, curling my hands up against my chest. "I guess. I hope he didn't, though." I replied.

Mi never responded, but he wrapped an arm around me. I closed my eyes, letting out a deep sigh. At this, Mi rubbed my shoulder. I began placing soft kisses on his neck. Getting off on one another had been something that took energy out of us both, him more than I, since he insisted on being on top. I could work my hips better, but Mi was just stronger. I placed a kiss on a certain spot that made Miles shiver.

He clung to me, practically crushing me between his arms but I don't mind. I cling back to him and run a hand down his side. He shudders and grips my shirt.

"We should probably change into night clothes, love." he murmurs, releasing my body.

I bit my lip, wincing at the contact and staring into his eyes.

"Or..." I said, tracing shapes on his arms, "We could go for round two?"

I stared into his eyes, watching the realization take place. His cheeks turned red and he struggled to talk. I grinned a bit and straddled him smirking.

"Awe...is my boy flustered?" I said with a slight giggle.

Miles' blush became darker as he hid his face in my chest.

"Shu' up." he mumbled.

I let my famous smirk sit on my lips. I sat up and began running my hands through my hair. I moved my hips slowly, using very little movement, but by the time I looked back to Miles, he was gulping, and his eyes were wide.

I let out a deep chuckle. I brought my hands down, letting them go on the bed on either side of his head, and I leant forward on them, letting some of my hair dangle in front of my face.

His eyes were as wide as they could be, and he looked scared as he stared into my eyes. I knew that I turned him on, judging by how hard he was in the trousers. I let out another deep chuckle, using my grip on the bed to begin a torturing slow grind. I made sure to press against him roughly, and as I did this, I watched as his mouth fell open, and his eyes rolled back.

"A-Al-"

"Shh, love..." I hushed him, continuing to simply grind for a moment longer.

I could feel him shaking from the pressure. My teasing grinds were fucking with him and I could tell. His hands gripped the sheets beneath him and he was panting in between moans. He was already sweating and his eyes were closed tight. I stopped for a second and felt him relax before I began to bounce against him, grinding in between bounces. He let out a gasp and pulled at the sheets ripping tiny holes in the fabric.

"A-Al please," he whimpered.

I chuckled once more and ignored his pleading.

I let myself break complete focus for a moment to look at the sheets, slightly ripped and balled up in his quivering hands. I couldn't believe that he'd physically ripped them, but again, he was strong. I stopped moving my hips suddenly again, and Mi whined. I bounced back and forth, bucking my hips against his each time, causing him to let out a curse each time. I felt him push his hips up and move his hands to grip mine but I stopped and frowned. I pushed his hips down roughly and gripped his hands, doing what he did to me by pinning them to the bed.

"No, no, no." I cooed.

I took both his wrists in one of my hands, pinning them down above his head. He was panting heavily and I felt him shake with eagerness. I hadn't resumed moving.

"Al!" He begged.

His back arched and I trailed my free hand down it until I pushed on it, causing his back to flatten out. It was only then that I resumed bucking and jerking my hips in such a way that made Miles cry out in pleasure. I could get used to this.

I smirked and rubbed our hard-ons against each other, the fabric of our trousers increasing the pleasure it provided. Miles cried out and suddenly when I looked down I saw a huge wet spot on his trousers. I continued to grind until I released as well.

"Did you like that, baby boy?" I growled in a teasing manner.

Miles let out little whimpers and nodded intensely. I grinned and rolled off of him feeling a sense of accomplishment.

"I guess you're not the only one who knows how to top, hmm?"

Miles had his eyes closed, his hands on his head.

The sweat was pouring down his forehead and he was still panting heavily. He let a few curses out in a breathy voice. He swallowed a few times and I watched him in pure fascination. I was sweaty, but I wasn't as sweaty as him. Then again, I did tease him quite a bit, which really worked him up. He wiped off the sweat with his sleeves, and he swallowed one last time, his breathing returning back to normal. He opened his eyes, looking into mine and I smiled at him.

"I fuckin' love you. But I also hate you." He said.

My smile grew even wider and I placed a hand on his jaw, tracing it as I leant forward, engaging him in a long, passionate kiss. When we parted he smiled and we were close as I smiled back. For once in my life I actually felt completely content. We were only a few inches away, and I gazed down at his lips.

I pressed another soft kiss to his lips and pulled away after a bit, resting my head against his collarbone.

"I love you, Mi." I whispered into his chest.

"Ah love you too, Al...sleep, love." he murmured, holding me close and rubbing my side.

I finally closed my eyes and let sleep overcome me.

A few hours later I woke up alone in bed. I sat up rubbing my eyes to be met with a set of chocolate brown eyes staring into mine as I pulled my hands away. I let out a squeak and jumped away from a blushing Miles.

"Sorry..." He murmured.

I put a hand over my chest.

"It's okay, what were you doing?" I asked.

He blushed a little more and mumbled something incoherent.

"What?"

" 'Ah was watchin' yer sleep..." I let out a couple giggles.

"Why?" I asked.

Miles shrugged, "You're just so cute when you're asleep." He said.

It was my turn to blush.

"How long have you been up?" I asked, changing the subject.

"An hour or so. I needed to change. And eh, you should too." He awkwardly pointed to my trousers, which I'd just remembered were soiled.

"Shit..." I mumbled, getting up and uncomfortably walking over to my bag, grabbing a new pair of trousers and pants and waddling to the bathroom. After a few minutes of cleaning up, I threw my dirty clothing in the hamper by the door.

I made my way back into the room, grabbing my cigarettes on the way. I grabbed one and lit it; bringing it up to my lips as I opened the window. Miles came up behind me and rested his hands on my hips as I blew smoke out into the world as we moved through it. I soon began to shiver so, Miles took the rest of my cigarette and finished it off before closing the window and pulling me to bed.

"Miles...cuddle with me?" I asked in a soft voice.

Without a moments hesitation, his warms arms had engulfed me in their inviting embrace.

As I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his heartbeat. It was calm and slow, and listening to it made me feel weird, in a good way.

This man was real.

Miles Peter Kane from Liverpool was real, he was alive, he was fierce, he was funny, he was loving, and he was mine. As if Miles knew that I was thinking about him, he brought a hand up, and ran it through my hair, which I hadn't put gel in in a few days. It stayed back naturally anyways. He continued to run his hand through my hair and then he paused as he moved his head to place a kiss onto the top of mine. He lingered there for a moment before laying his head back.

"Miles?" I said softly, my deep voice sounding small.

"Yes, love?" He asked, his voice vibrating through his chest.

"I love you, y'know? Really, properly love you." I said, tracing shapes into his chest. He was quiet for a moment, breath seemingly getting caught in his throat.

I looked up after a second, worried that he was upset just to see the biggest smile on his face. I grinned and wiped away a few of his tears.

"Awe love, don't cry!" I kissed him softly and held him.

"God, I don't deserve you." he mumbled into my shoulder.

I felt my cheeks burn as I held the bigger man in my arms.

We held onto each other tightly, and Mi finally mumbled, "I..." He backed up and looked into my eyes, "I love you too, Alex. I really, really do."

The way he said it, and the way we were looking into each others eyes... The feeling was indescribable. It was the best I'd ever felt though. I wasn't sure what to say next, but I began to feel that emotion that must have made Mi cry when I said it. My breath caught in my throat but I was able to keep my eyes from spilling the water that was pooling in them. We just laid there, staring into one another's eyes, but it felt like more than that. I felt like we were looking into each others souls, communicating without words. We were truly connected in the moment, without being on stage or playing music or having a conversation. It was simply by laying In one another's arms, and gazing into each other. We each reached a hand up, placing it on each others jaw lines.

His lips brushed mine and a slight blush painted my cheeks.

"Al...." Miles whispered softly, his thumb running over my cheek.

"Yeah, Mi?"

"Never leave me, please..." he whispered.

His voice sounded weak and defeated. His eyes held traces of fear that I'd never been allowed to witness before. I instantly took him in my arms and rocked him a bit trying to comfort him.

"I wouldn't leave you ever. Even if it meant I had to die, I would never, ever leave you." I whispered.

He let out a short laugh.

"I wouldn't let you die. I would never allow that."

His arms wrapped around me, shocking me with a tingly warmth that seemed to cling to my body and give me strength.

"I love you." I whispered for about the fiftieth time in the past hour.

He chuckled.

"I love you too, silly monkeh." he mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.

I felt a heat rise to my cheeks as a giddy smile made itself appear on my lips. We stared out the window for a bit.

"Miles," I commented.

He hummed in response as he turned his gaze from the window to me. I tugged him over to the bed.

"Sit. Against the headboard." I pointed and he did as I said. Then, I crawled over to him, in that silly fashion that I do on stage. We both laughed as I approached him and I almost keeled over in laughter. I kept going, though. I moved so I was straddling him and I simply pressed my body as close to his as it would go.

"I just sorta always feel sick without you baby..." I mumbled, causing a chuckle to erupt from Mi.

 "You cheeky slag." He laughed.

A giggle escaped me as he ran a hand through my messy, limp quiff. I stared at the man admiring his pure beauty. It shone out of him like a beacon in the dead of night, showing off his immaculate features.

"God, you're gorgeous." I whispered, unbeknownst to my own mind.

My mouth seemed to work by itself, leaving me stuttering about his beauty for a short while until I noticed my words that tangled around Miles. His cheeks were flushed red, his mouth gaped open a small bit, and his hands twitching. My own cheeks turned red with embarrassment, so I covered them and buried my face harshly into the taller man's chest.

He wrapped his arms around me, placing a soft kiss between my neck and shoulder. He ran his hand through my hair again, pulling my face back a bit.

He pushed away my hands from my red face and tucked hair behind my ear. I was looking down, and he moved his head, to try and get me to look at him.

"That was the cutest thing I've ever seen in me life." He said.

If there was a way to become redder than red, I must've accomplished it.

"Do you... W-wanna know one of my favorite things about you?" I asked.

"Sure, love." Then, I took my index finger, and traced Mi's lips with it slowly as I stared at them. His lips parted a bit as he watched me.

"These." And I pressed my own lips to his.

I could feel him smile against my lips as he kissed me back, his arms wrapping around my waist. I pulled away slowly and snuggled into him.

"Can we just nap until we get to the next venue?" I asked softly.

He chuckled.

"Of course love."

So we lay down, our limps intertwined and smiles on our faces as we fell asleep.

~~~

A/N:

Lordy lord, I'm so sorry we seem to just jump into the smut there sometimes.

They're insatiable, really.

But yes, an extra long update!

Happy Holidays xx