Naka wheelchair ako pabalik sa room at sinamahan ako ni Ace. Ang dami pa naming kailangang pag-usapan pero natigilan kaming dalawa when we saw my parents already waiting for me. My mom sat on the chair while my dad stared out the window. Once again, Ace was unsure what he should be doing.

I felt so bad for the guy; he was just here to help. Ngayon, nadamay na naman sya sa unfolding family drama ng mga Claraval.

"Good afternoon, Tita, Tito." He kissed mom on the cheek and gave dad an awkward wave before sticking both hands into his front pockets. Dad just looked at him and nodded.

"Ace, thanks. I'll just call you later." I wanted to dismiss Ace para di na sya madamay sa galit ni Dad.

"No problem. I'll go ahead po, Tito. Tita, mauna na po ako."

"You don't need to go, Bradley. Hindi naman kami magtatagal ng Tita mo." Dad said icily, still looking at the window.

I gulped and Ace looked at me nervously.

Damay damay na to!

When the other staff left, the silence in the room was deafening. The uneasiness was growing by the minute and it was making me nauseous.

Dad finally turned around and glared at me. Ace shrank and moved closer to the wall. I could feel the anger radiate from him. It was a brutally oppressive energy it made me feel very small, very remorseful, and very much nauseated.

"How could you let this happen to yourself, Scarlet?" his voice was eerily calm, I just know he was bound to explode in the next few questions. Pero wala akong maisasagot sa tanong nya so baka magwala na sya sa susunod nyang tanong.

Para naman kasing ginusto ko rin mangyari to sa akin, na hindi naman. I didn't look at him. I just looked down at my hands.

"You took a gap year para makapag handa sa training mo. That's what you said. We gave that to you. E kung gusto mo lang naman pala mag buntis e di sana hindi ka na nagresidency pa! You are wasting this opportunity and you are wasting your time!" Dad's voice boomed. I saw Ace flinch just as I did. Oh my god, kawawang Ace!

"Ano bang pagkukulang naming sayo, Sky? You wanted to rest, sige. You wanted to party, okay. You had one year of freedom. Hindi ka naming pinigilan kasi we trusted you! We trusted your judgment na matanda ka na, you should be able to take care of yourself and make the right decisions. Getting pregnant before marriage is not a correct decision, Cara. I was hoping you would know that because your sister went through this not two years ago!" It was Mom who spoke this time. She was just as frustrated as Dad. Her eyes were filled with anger, resentment, disappointment, and sadness.

I just closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I also prayed na hindi ako masuka anytime soon. I don't want them to think na nagpapa-awa effect ako sa kanila, kahit na literally sukang-suka na ako.

"I'm sorry."

"That's it? You're sorry? Anong magagawa ng sorry mo? Mapapakain mo ba anak mo sa sorry mo? Can you raise your child with your apology? My god, Scarlet! How could you let this happen?" Dad was livid. While he was in a fiery rage, Mom was freezing my hell of a room over with her wrath.

"You better get your act together Scarlet, and you better take care of that child inside you. He is innocent. He should not suffer because you were sorry you couldn't make the right decision even if your life depended on it." Mom stood up quickly and headed for the door.

"At sabihan mo yang lintik na Benedict Jackson na yan na panagutan yang anak mo. Kakabili ko lang ng 45-calibre galing sa contact nya and I will not hesitate to shoot him with it." He pointed sternly at me before leaving my room.

I scrambled to the toilet and puked. Ace was quick to help me, holding my hair up and rubbing my back. I continued to retch hanggang pakiramdam ko mailuwa ko na small intestines ko. Noong kumalma na ang tiyan ko, humagulhol na naman ako kay Ace. I held on to his shirt and buried my face in it as I sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

Pregnancy might be a blessing to married couples, but I don't think it's a blessing to single women who are doing residency or kahit sino who is working hard for their dreams. Hindi ko alam paano nagawa ng iba to get pregnant during residency and take care of a baby, and yet they're able to attain their dreams.

Hindi lahat ng tao makakaintindi sa opinion ko, but it's one of the reasons why doctors get married later. Kasi ang hirap magpakasal and get pregnant and raise a child when you yourself are still finding your way in the world. Wala pang kasiguraduhan future mo, then idadamay mo pa baby.

Naabutan kami nina Val, Seb and Chino na nasa banyo. Hindi pa rin ako natapos umiyak at basing basa na polo ni Ace.

"Cara! Oh my god, anong nangyari sayo?"

They helped me up to my bed. Inalalayan ni Chino si Ace ksi nahirapan na syanag tumayo. Namanhid na yung dalawang mga paa nya sa tagal niyang naka luhod.

Ace told them everything that had happened kasi hindi pa rin ako makpagsalita ng direcho kaka hikbi. All the while, I rested my head on Val's shoulder as she hugged me. Nakahiga kaming dalawa sa kama.

Suddenly, I felt so drained. I haven't eaten or slept very well for the last forty-eight hours. I wanted to sleep but I had to deliver my message loud and clear, and I wanted them to respect it.

"Guys, excuse me." They stopped talking. I tried to open my heavy, swollen eyes as much as I could to make sure I make eye contact with each one of them. "Do not tell Jaxx about this okay? Whatever happens, do not tell him."

They all protested but I just gave them the hand. "This is my life. I broke up with him before he left. He doesn't need to be bothered with this."

"Break na kayo? Akala ko matinding LQ lang? Seb sinungalin ka talaga!" Chino asked, glaring at Seb who pretended not to hear him.

"Cara, anak nya rin yang nasa sinapupunan mo!" Seb said dramatically.

"'Sinapupunan' talaga Seb? Hindi ba pwedeng 'tiyan' lang?" I chuckled, surprised by the word he used.

"If we're going to be technical about it, sinapupunan ang tamang term kasi yun ang tagalog ng womb."

"He has the right to know, Cars. That is his child, too, after all." Ace insisted.

Should I tell Jaxx? Would he be interested? I practically told him to leave me the hell alone and I never returned his calls nor did I contact him thereafter. Surely galit na rin yun sakin and he would not want anything to do with me. Lalo na if it's something that'll tie him down to me.

Well, hindi ko naman inaasahang pakasalan nya ako because he got me pregnant. It may have been an option and he may have agreed to it before I kicked him out of my life. Pero ngayon, mukhang malabo na. Okay lang din, I don't want to get married because we have to. That's not going magically correct whatever mistake we made, and it's not a guarantee to a happy ever after.

"Yes, he will know eventually, but not right now. I can't deal with more drama. He will probably reject it anyway."

"What? Are you serious? Of course he won't!! Ano bang nakain mo at ganyan pinag-iisip mo kay Jaxx?" Val was appalled.

"Val, andami kong nasabing masama sa kanya before he left. I regretted them all right after but I had to say all of those nasty things. So, I wouldn't be surprised if he would not want to have anything to do with me or this baby."

So if that happens, bahala nang I'll bring this child up on my own. Nagawa nga ni ate Sam eh, surely kaya ko rin to. Nahihiya lang ako sa parents ko because hindi naman sila nagkulang sa amin. I promised not to repeat ate Sam's mistake pero well, I didn't do great on that. Obviously.

"Jaxx is not like that. Parang hindi mo sya kilala. You have so little faith in the guy."

I was suddenly ashamed of myself after Chino said that. I didn't believe Jaxx could forgive me and to think we were very close. Yet here was Chino, having more faith in Jaxx than his ex-girlfriend.

"Did you see what was inside the package that Jaxx gave you?" Ace changed the subject.

"What package? Did he send something again?"

"The one he left at the info for you nung New Year."

"Oh, that one. No, not yet. Why?" It was embarrassing to admit that I haven't opened it, especially because I forgot about it.

"Wala lang, It's been a two months. I just wanted to check." The way Ace said it, it sounded like it was more that just checking. It sounded like he was confirming something.

"I forgot about it, actually. But I'll check it once I get discharged."

There was a pause before Ace spoke again.

"He still sent you flowers last Valentine's. So he still wanted to have something to do with you. He still wants to be part of your life. Sabi ko naman sayo, Cars, hindi basta-basta titigil yun kahit na pagsabihan mo e." Ace said

"How did you know he sent me flowers?"

"It doesn't matter how I know. The point is, he still wants to be part of your life. And I'm sure he will want to be part of your baby's as well. Huwag mo tong ipagkait sa kanya." Ace appealed.

"Just let me deal with this, okay? Please, don't tell him. For his sake. Magugulo lang yung tao lalo, baka hindi pa matapos MBA niya."

Bwisit kasi tong Benedict Jackson na to e! I really shouldn't have let myself fall for him. Dapat talaga hindi ko sya sinagot! Lintik lang talaga. I knew that I was so weak pagdating sa kanya, but I still tempted fate. I let myself sleep with him na kaming dalawa lang, with him half-naked. Isang pirasong saplot na lang ang pagitan naming dalawa. And what defense was a goddamned piece of cloth against two lovers overflowing with raging hormones?

Wala. Wala syang silbi.

I was discharged the following day. Seb was there to help because after hearing what happened with my parents, they decided to help me out in any way they could.

My dad had instructed the Billing Section to charge everything to his account and they didn't accept a single centavo from me kahit na muntik na akong magwala sa opisina nila kasi gusto kong ako ang magbabayad.

When I got to my condo, Seb stayed despite my insistence na umuwi na sya. Instead, tinulungan nya akong hanapin yung package ni Jaxx.

"Ano ba kasi istura nun? Was it big, small, mabigat?" Seb lazily opened the kitchen cupboard, unsure what he was looking for.

"Small, nasa brown paper bag. Para syang yung Kleenex pocket tissue na binalot sa brown paper bag."

"Hindi kaya tissue lang ang hinahanap natin? Bigyan na lang kita ng bago."

"Hindi ko nga alam anong laman e. Ang kulit!" I went to my room to continue my search.

"Ito ba?" Seb held the package in front of me.

"Oo, yan ata." I took it and sat on my bed. Seb sat beside me, equally curious.

I slowly and painstakingly peeled each scotch tape that was used to seal it, looking at Seb's reaction in my peripheral vision.

"Ano ba, Cara tama na nga yan pa suspense mo. Punitin mo na yang papel!" he complained, balling his hands to stop himself from tearing the wrapping. I laughed at his impatience.

"Akin na nga yan." He grabbed the parcel.

"Seb! Akin yan e!"

I accidentally tore the paper bag and out fell a bundle medications taped together. These were morning after and contraceptive pills with a folded piece of paper attached to them. Seb handed me the letter while reading the labels on the medications.

Cara, the condom broke.

I am so sorry.

I tried calling you but you wouldn't pick up.

A friend told me maybe these could help. I'm not sure how you're supposed to take these tho.

I hope you can ask someone?

I thought you might not want to get pregnant right now since you're still doing residency.

And it's with me.

But if you do and you decide to keep it, I would really, really want to be a part of all of it, your pregnancy and our baby's life.

At least give me that.

I'm not giving up on us, love. Not just yet.

The condom broke.

I stopped breathing when I read the first line of his letter. I read over and over again for a good minute to make sure I wasn't making a mistake.

The god-damned condom broke.

My heart was pounding, I could hear the blood rush to my head. Despite the tachycardia, I think all the blood in my body evaporated into oblivion. My hands and feet were cold, I could not think or speak. Even breathing seemed impossible to do.

He knew.

He knew this would happen. Again, he gave me the chance to change how this could have ended, he gave me the means, and yet, because of my obstinacy and foolish pride, I didn't give him the time of day to help me. I didn't listen to him. He even asked Ace to intervene.

Speaking of Ace, alam nya rin kaya?

My hands were shaking so hard it took me a while to finish reading the rest when I finally regained my senses. I looked at Seb who was holding a blister pack on each hand, tapping them together lightly. His head was bowed and he was chewing on his lip.

"He knew this was going to happen Cars. And he wanted to be a part of it, if you're going to keep it. Are you still not going to tell him?" he studied at me with an uncertain look.

"I don't know Seb."

"Bakit ba ayaw mong malaman niya? Hinding-hindi ka pababayaan nun, Cars." there was hurt in his voice. He was torn. I knew he wouldn't tell Jaxx on his own volition but he wanted the guy to know. He was begging me on his behalf.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with this pregnancy. I mean, I know, but I don't!" I covered my face with fisted hands, crumpling the letter on my face. "I know I'm keeping it but I don't know what to do with it. Ang labo ko Seb, I'm so confused!"

He put an arm around my shoulders and sighed. I leaned on his shoulder and sighed deeper.

"You might not want my opinion on the matter, but can I just give it?"

I nodded.

"First of all, I'm sorry I read the letter. Chismoso ako. Secondly, it's clear that Jaxx was aware that there was a chance that this accident was going to happen. And you brushing aside his effort to help you prevent it made it into a reality.

"He obviously cares for you kahit na pinagmumura mo sya or you said whatever nasty things to him. He thought of you immediately. Kung gago lang sya, hinayaan ka na nyang malaman mo mag-isa mo na buntis ka. And hindi nya pananagutan. But naisip ka nya and your dream of being a surgeon. Naisip nyang baka ayaw mo pa kaya he sent these. Na hindi mo naman pinansin."

I groaned. "But that's beside the point right now."

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, he said na he would really want to be a part of your child's life if you're going to go through with it. Hindi mo naman siguro ipapalaglag yan diba?"

"Of course not! Baliw ka ba?" I slapped Seb's thigh hard.

"Aray ko naman! Easy on the violence. Anyway, if ako yung lalaki Cars, I would curse you to the ends of the earth na pinagkait mo sa akin yung anak natin. And I will fight for custody kahit na alam naman natin na mananalo ka. Pero I'd do it just to make your life a living hell. Kasi you concealed our son from me. Or daughter. Kung ano man sya."

"But Jaxx would not do that because, kahit na medyo may sayad yun, he doesn't do revenge. He would gladly sit back and see you happy even though he is breaking inside. And nakita natin yung nangyari sa kanya and it was so heartbreaking ayaw ko nang makita kahit sinuman sa atin na ganyan. Ever.

"I know you still want to be with him Cars. Why you let him go is beyond me. And hindi ko naiintindihan kung bakit mo sya nilalabanan. You should be fighting for him, not against him. But that's me."

I contemplated on Seb's speech for a while. Hindi ko pa rin alam anong gusto kong mangyari and kalian. Jaxx deserves to know but how will I tell him? When will I tell him? Baka nga siguro alam nya na e because may hinala na sila ni Ace before sya umalis.

"Do you think Ace knows?"

"If he knew about the existence of the package and he asked you about it again, I'd say yes."

I nodded absentmindedly, still leaning on Seb's shoulder.

"Look, you don't have to tell him now, or tomorrow, or immediately. Pero, the sooner you tell him the better."

"I'll tell him when he comes back after the spring semester. Gusto ko face to face kami." I decided.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You don't know how happy I am to hear that." Seb wrapped his other hand around and hugged me properly. "Nabunutan ako ng tinik ng konti. Konti lang, it's still halfway out."

"Ang hirap magtago ng secret ano? Yet you asked us to do it for years." Pina konsenysa ko sya sa ginawa nya sa amin.

"It was because alam kong kaya nyo. Wag mo nang patagalin Cars, kasi kahit ako hindi ko napagkakatiwalaan sarili kong bibig minsan." He said laughing.