"can't I ju-"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT JUNWOO"

----------------

"tell me what do you fucking want junwoo"

"jaeminnie I want nothing I just want to talk to you"

wow I just can't believe it he wants to talk to me really

"i can't believe you"

"no one does I am complicated"

"why did you come back"

"i didn't come back for you I was just wandering around then I saw you so I said hi"

"didn't have to say it"

"wow you really hate me" and he laughed

gosh you ruined my life and I would still love you, junwoo why just why

"you're a heartless monster"

"maybe I am even if it try now I can't change myself and I don't want to I feel happiness here"

i just can't understand him he is such a complex person no one can understand him

"you are such a complex person"

"i know that no one understands me except one person but he left me cuz I turned like this I thought you will be another person who would understand me but you are just"

then he came near to me we were so close to each other we could feel each other breaths why I didn't move I didn't even know that he practically was one who ruined my life yet he is here in front of my face and we looked like we were about to kiss

"one of the people whom I wanted to use"

obviously I am one of them I loved you so much heck I still like you a little I know I should hate you for all the horrible things you did to me which was less but it was a lot but I have this stupidity to always remember the good moments among us I am such a stupid person

i didn't even realize our faces are so close to each other that our lips can touch at any moment I don't even know if I want that or not

we both looked at each other and he went one step backwards unintentionally I pouted and he laughed

"jaeminnie you still want my kisses god you are such a slut"

that broke my heart in pieces but he was true i am a slut

then he pulled my shirt and my face was really near to his

"you wanted my kiss right slut so you are getting it"

no I don't want it I never even thought that I wanted it I was just thinking if I needed it or not but I definitely don't want a kiss from a person who just insulted me

he forcefully smashed his lips in mine and started kissing me I didn't even kiss him back I don't want to, ugh I feel so disgusted but I was the one who intentionally pouted

i am such a disgusting person

then he pulled back for a second

"i thought you wanted this kiss why aren't you kissing back now do it"

then he smashed his lips again this time I was forced to kiss him back so I had to do it, it was definitely a rough kiss and I was hating it so much

after kissing for sometime we pulled out

"i just met you after months and I got to kiss you" he said and then laughed

I bit my lips why did I do that why why WHY I hate myself even more now

i turned my head to the side and saw renjun

he looked at me with the look of betrayal, heartbreak and all the saddening looks and it honestly broke my heart, it's all my fault that this happened

I didn't want to see his saddened look again so I turned my head and was about to go to my home suddenly junwoo grabbed my hand harshly

"who the fuck is he"

"none of your business"

"i was curious so I wanted to do"

"yea curious then you wouldn't have grabbed my hand like this"

"i can"

"that's the thing YOU CAN'T u have no right to do this"

then he laughed

"i never thought you are gonna be strong"

then he smirked and he suddenly pulled my jacket to see my wrist I pushed him

"what the hell is wrong with you"

"i know you self harm just wanted to see it"

"you are a psycho"

then I left and saw renjun wasn't there he left I guess I sighed and went to my house I was walking then tears started pouring from my eyes

i started wiping them but they kept falling I arrived at my house and saw renjun nearby

he was sitting in the stairs and he had tears I went towards him and sat besides him

renjun POV

I can't believe today my heart broke two times first jeno now him I can't even explain how much my heart is broken I didn't even realize I love them so much until now

I am in love with both jeno and jaemin and the worst part about it they don't even love me my heart is hurting a lot

after seeing jaemin and the random guy kiss I ran away I didn't want to see them again

now I am sitting at the staircase and crying it's just I don't want to go to kun-ge cuz I didn't want to be more of a burden than I already am

i was hugging my knees but I knew someone sat besides me

"injun"

jaemin why are you here but I lifted my head and faced him he had tears why was he crying

"jaem were you crying"

"i could ask the same to you"

"it's nothing but why you are if you will say then I will"

"um not that important"

"it's about you're boyfriend right"

"my who?"

"you're boyfriend the guy you were just kissing"

then tears started pouring from his eyes I embraced him into a hug and he started sobbing

"jaem what happened"

"he i-is n-not my bo-boy-boyfriend"

"then why did you kiss him" I was jealous yet curious

"h-he kissed m-me wi-without my per-permission"

my heart broke into a thousand pieces he does not deserve that at all never

"nana it's gonna be okay I am here"

after few moments jaemin calmed down then spoke

"since I said what happened to me what about you and please don't lie it's gonna eat yourself alive"

"um it's kinda embarrassing so I am in love with two boys an-"

"two boys, you can fall in love with more than a person"

"have you been living under a rock of course yeah it's called polyamorus and the relationship is called polyamorus relationship and since it's long so in short form poly relationship"

"ahh okay thanks"

"so yea I am polyamorus and both of them don't love me" then I sighed

"what makes you think they don't like you"

"um for the first one he said in his journal that he already likes someone which I saw by mistakely and I don't know about the second one but why bother i am gonna have my heart broken"

"um jun I feel like you should say it even though you can get rejection but you have us to take care of you and by the way no one will reject you, you are too perfect to be rejected"

i blushed at his sentence but I don't know jaemin the min you said this and the moment you knew that it's you I know you are gonna leave me and I really don't want that to happen

"um can you say who are they" jaemin asked

"no i don't want to"

"pls pls pls"

he pouted and started poking me to answer the question seriously I don't want to say it I don't want to ruin us

"HOLY SHIT JAEMIN I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I LIKE YOU"

oh my fucking god did I just say that I like him ugh renjun you are such an idiot

"jun....."

"just leave me alone"

tears started forming in my eyes I lost him I was about to stand up but he pulled me and embraced me in a really tight hug

i started crying I know he doesn't like me and now he will hate me to have feelings for him why did it happen I am such an idiot I can't even keep a thing to myself

we broke the hug and looked at each other we were really close to each other but then jaemin wrapped his hand around my waist and stared at me

i gulped and stared back at him

then what actually looked like a flash of moment but for us it was a long time our
lips collided

i put my hand behind his neck and we started kissing jaemin was definitely leading the kiss his lips were really soft kinda chapped but I didn't mind it

he pulled me towards himself and I did the same and we deepened our kiss

I don't know if it was wrong or not but it felt so right to do it but I don't want to face the consequences of the aftermath of our kiss

this kiss will decide that we will be friends, more than friends or complete strangers

after few moments we disconnected our kiss my first kiss

"nana i am sorry" I mumbled

"it's fine" he replied

"how is it fine I just confessed my feelings to you and we just met and you know my secret that I also like an another boy I am so sorry"

"injun it's fine don't worry"

"but do you like me"

"honestly I don't know"

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hiii

how are yall i hope fine

I AM IN LOVE WITH BACKDOOR ONE WORD: MASTERPIECE

love u guys❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️