COLEMAN

MAYBE I could have killed him.

Kung ako pa rin ang Cole na lumusob sa office niya at nanuntok sa mukha niya last week, malamang naitulak ko na siya habang magkausap kaming dalawa sa balcony ng bahay niya. The only reason why I went to his despedida party—aside from Stacy coming here—was because I wanted to confront him about something.

"I'm glad you accepted my invitation," Sir Zack told me when it's my turn with him. Nakatayo siya sa may balcony, nakahawak ang mga kamay sa handrail, at parang may tinatanaw sa malayo. Lumingon siya sa akin nang narinig niyang papalapit ako sa kanya. "What I've told you downstairs, I meant it. I'm really sorry."

"I also meant what I said earlier," sagot ko. Tumayo ako kapantay niya at humawak din sa handrails. Hinanap ko kung saan ba siya nakatingin at kung anong meron doon. There's nothing special in the view here. "Alam n'yo namang agad na umiinit ang ulo ko. Minsan, hindi ko rin makontrol ang emosyon ko."

"You should work more on your anger management problem," he told me. "Sayang ang sessions natin kung babalik ka sa dati mong gawi. Baka hindi na kasing bait at pasensyoso ko ang susunod na uupo sa office ko."

Around half a year ago, I got a shorter temper than today. Lagi akong napaaaway sa teammates ko tuwing practice namin. Hindi gano'n kalaking bagay, pero dahil iritable ako lagi, lumalaki ang issue. Ilang beses na rin kaming nagsuntukan. Ang ending, s-in-uspend ako sa mga laro ng team namin at ni-require na magpunta sa Guidance and Counseling Office para sa anger management session. Doon ko nakilala si Sir Zack.

"Gusto kong makakuha ng diretsong sagot mula sa inyo." Humarap ako sa kanya at tumitig sa mga mata niya. "Kayo ba ang nag-leak ng drug test results ko kay Beatrice?"

We didn't have the chance to sort this out last week. Dahil paalis na rin siya sa campus, umaasa akong magiging transparent siya sa akin. Hindi naman niya ikayayaman ang pagtatago sa sikreto ko.

"Kaya ba sinugod mo ako no'n kasi iniisip mong ako ang leak?" natatawa niyang sabi.

"Aside kasi sa coach namin, kayo lang ang nakaaalam n'on. I doubt he'd tell a single soul about it lalo na't malapit na ang competition."

"Before I answer your question, can you give me a reason why I'd do such a thing?" he asked. "If I were the leak, what do you think was my motive?"

"Maybe you're getting jealous that Stacy and I are getting closer," I answered without my eyes blinking. Hindi ko na kailangang magpaligoy-ligoy pa. I wanted straight answers from him so I gave him straight answers too. "Alam kong may special relationship kayong dalawa. Baka nakikita n'yo akong threat sa relasyon n'yo. Maybe that's why you wanted to ruin me and my basketball career."

Natawa si Sir Zack kahit sobrang seryoso ng mukha ko. "You think I'm that petty? Matanda na ako, Cole. Tapos na ako sa selos-selos na 'yan. At saka wala kaming label o relasyon kaya ano'ng karapatan ko para magselos?"

May point siya. But still he's a man. Kahit i-deny niyang hindi siya seloso, may label man o wala, posibleng sumagi pa rin ang idea sa kanya. Wala namang immune sa gano'ng pakiramdam. Kung meron, iilan lang siguro sa mundong 'to.

"Kung gusto kitang gantihan, ibibigay ko ang copy ng drug test results sa Office of Student Affairs," he went on as he looked at me. "Hindi ko na kailangang ipadaan pa sa isang USC officer. Alam kong matatagalan lang ang proseso."

Sakaling umabot sa OSA ang tungkol sa results, malamang kinabukasan ipinatawag na ang parents ko. If Sir Zack wasn't leak, I had to thank whoever did it for sending them to Beatrice and not to anyone else.

Smoking weed and taking in party drugs were bad legally. Ilang beses na akong nag-attend ng seminars tungkol sa ganyang topic. But I couldn't resist it. Not because I enjoyed drugs, but because I had too much on my plate.

I was the only child in the family kaya sobrang laki ang expectations ng parents ko sa akin. Ayaw nila akong pumasok sa basketball dahil wala raw akong mapapala sa paglalaro ng sports na 'to. They said I must focus on my studies. I told them to give me a chance and let me prove myself to them.

This year, I became the team captain of the basketball team kaya sobrang laki at dami ng pressure na makapag-comeback kami sa inter-school competition. Magiging malaking achievement para sa akin at sa university kung maipapanalo namin ang mga laban starting next month. Ayaw kong mangulelat kami sa rankings kaya kailangang puspusan ang training.

At dahil mas marami akong time na ina-allot sa training, napababayaan ko na ang studies ko. Muntik na akong bumagsak sa two subjects. Having a failing grade would affect my status as a varsity player. I didn't need any scholarship, pero pangit sa image na may binagsak akong subjects. Kung hindi dahil kay Sir Zack, hindi ako mabibigyan ng second chance.

Nasasakal ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. Kinailangan kong humanap ng paraan para makahinga. I was reluctant to try at first, but I was desperate for a temporary escape. My teammates had contact with dealers, and they urged me to try. Tikim lang. Wala namang masama roon.

Pero sabi nga nila, nagsisimula ang lahat sa patikim-tikim. I tried it once, and I liked the feeling. I tried it again. The feeling's still the same. Then I started to look for it whenever I felt suffocated.

So if my drug use would be exposed through that report, my college life would be ruined. Parang domino na isa-isang babagsak. Madudumihan ang student record. Masu-suspend sa basketball team. Idya-judge ng judgmental kong schoolmates. Magiging kahihiyan sa pamilya. And I couldn't let those things happen.

"Kung gusto mo talagang malaman kung sino ang leak, isipin mo kung sino pa ba ang may access sa results," sabi ni Sir Zack. "Sino ba ang makikinabang kapag na-suspend o tinanggal kayo sa basketball team?"

"'Yong teams ng ibang school," unang idea na sumulpot sa isipan ko. Kahit hindi pa kami legit na threats sa kanila, baka gusto na nilang tanggalin kami sa laro. Pero masyadong malabo yata? They needed to have someone inside the team para makapag-espiya sa amin.

"O isa mismo sa atin?" dagdag niya. "Posibleng student na nagro-root para sa ibang teams. O posibleng teammate na gustong makuha ang posisyon mo."

Kung sabagay, may isa o dalawang member ng basketball team na ayaw ako bilang captain. Hindi sila kasama sa mga nag-positive sa test kaya kung matatanggal kami, posibleng sila ang mag-take over. But it did not make any sense. Sakaling mangyari ang kinatatakutan ko, makukulangan ng players ang team namin. They would have to recruit more before the competition next month. Wala nang sapat na oras para mag-train ng bago.

"I've already tried to help you out," Sir Zack said. He turned his back to me and went to one of the steel chairs around the glass circular table. Umupo siya roon. Sumunod ako sa kanya. "Sorry kung hindi na kita naabisuhan. Na-bring up kasi niya kanina noong nag-usap kami."

"P-Paano?"

"Maswerte ka dahil si Bea ang nakatanggap ng drug test results. You know that she and I are quite close. In-advise ko siya na huwag i-pursue ang tip na nakuha niya. She's torn between you and her duty."

Parang nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Despite what happened between us, Sir Zack still offered his help without waiting for me to ask him. Maybe I was wrong to suspect him. He wouldn't have done this if he didn't care about me.

"Bea heeds my advice so rest assured na hindi mo na 'yan magiging tinik sa lalamunan," dagdag niya. "Ang kailangan mong gawin ay alamin kung sino ang nag-leak. Kung kilala ko siya, baka may chance na ma-convince ko siyang huwag nang ituloy ang binabalak niya."

"Thank you, Sir. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa inyo."

"Just promise me one thing, okay?" He turned his head in my direction and looked at me seriously. "Never ever hurt Stacy."

"Wh—?" Ang akala ko'y iba ang sasabihin niya.

"Napansin kong nagiging close na kayong dalawa recently. Nabanggit sa akin ni Desmond na kasama mo siyang dumating dito sakay ng kotse mo. Natanong ko na rin si Stacy kanina at hindi niya i-d-in-eny sa akin. Wala na kayong dapat na itago pa."

Parang dalawang tinik na ang nabunot sa lalamunan ko. "We're getting to know each other better."

"Sus! Pinahaba mo pa!" natatawang sabi niya. "Ang sabihin mo, malapit na kayong maging mag-jowa. Which is fine by me. If it's you she's going to choose, I can leave Clark University without any worries."

Napakamot tuloy ako ng ulo. Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko.

"If you hurt her in any way, I'll take the first ticket back to Clark and punch you in the face ten times harder than you did to me," Sir Zack spoke in a threatening tone. Then he laughed, slapping me on the shoulder. "I know you won't! If you love someone, you won't hurt them."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. I might be short-tempered sometimes, but I could manage myself well whenever I was with Stacy. Simpleng presence pa lang niya, napakakalma na ako.

"I wish you two the best. Don't forget to invite me to your wedding kung magkatuluyan na talaga kayo."

That was my last conversation with Sir Zack. Binigyan niya ng solusyon ang problema ko. Binigyan niya rin ako ng kanyang blessing sa relasyon namin ni Stacy. Hindi ko maitago ang saya ko pagbaba ko mula sa balcony. I was excited to share this with Stacy, but she looked somewhat troubled when I returned to the living room. I asked her if something's wrong. She said there's none.

Everything's going so well, I didn't expect what was about to happen next.

"Cole? Desmond? Can you help me with the glasses and the ice?"

After everyone had their private conversation with Sir Zack, oras na para sa wine toast. Pinaakyat na namin ang mga babae sa taas habang pumunta kami ni Desmond sa kitchen.

"'Yong nasa taas ba o 'yong nasa baba?"

"'Yong nasa baba. Mag-ingat ka sa paghawak, ha? Mamahalin ang mga 'yan. Ipababayad ko sa 'yo kapag may nabasag."

"Sir naman!" I randomly grabbed five wineglasses from the cabinet and carefully placed them on a circular tray. Kahit mukhang mumurahin ang mga 'to, ayaw ko namang maglabas ng kahit singko. Mahirap ding linisin kapag nakabasag kaya naging maingat ako.

"O, Desmond, pakisuyo 'yong ice cubes sa chiller. Some wines are best enjoyed with ice."

"Itong tatlong tray, sir?"

"Yes, thank you! Ako nang magtatanggal ng mga 'yan sa tray. Pakihugasan na lang 'yong bucket na paglalagyan nito."

Sinunod ni Desmond ang utos sa kanya. Meanwhile, Sir Zack removed the ice cubes from their trays with one slam, picked some using an ice tong and dropped them into the wine glasses. He then put the rest into the bucket that Desmond cleaned.

"You know what to do," Sir Zack said as he turned from Desmond to me. Ibinigay niya sa akin ang tray ng mga baso. "We better serve the wine before the ice totally melts."

Nauna akong umakyat sa balcony, nakasunod sa akin si Desmond na dala-dala ang ice bucket. Sir Zack followed upstairs and prepare to take a groupie. Kaso naiwan niya sa baba ang kanyang phone kaya kinailangan niyang bumalik para kunin 'yon. Pagkabalik niya, bubuksan na dapat niya ang wine bottle, pero humirit ako.

"Sir, let me do the honors."

"You sure?"

Ibinigay niya sa akin ang bote. Buong puwersa kong hinila ang corkscrew. Napalakas yata ang hila ko kaya biglang umapaw ang foam at natapon ang kaunting amount ng wine sa mesa. Imbes na linisin, s-in-uggest ni Sir Zack na sa living room na lang kami mag-toast. Ibinalik ko sa tray ang mga wineglass habang dinala ulit ni Desmond ang ice bucket.

Pagkababa namin, agad akong pumunta sa kitchen sink para hugasan ang mga kamay ko. When I returned, Desmond was done giving each of us a glass. Sir Zack rose to his feet and poured us wine. He took a groupie with us before we sipped from our glasses.

"ACK!"

I got no idea what went through Stacy's mind, but she pretended to be poisoned. Muntikan na akong atakihin sa puso. Agad na tumabi sa kanya si Sir Zack at nagpatawag ng ambulansya kay Desmond. Then Stacy revealed that she was just acting. We scolded her for making us so worried. May napamura pa nga sa kanya.

What happened next was so fast, we didn't have time to process it all. This time, Sir Zack collapsed on the floor, gasping for air. His hand reaching out for something above went limp and his body relaxed from convulsion. Desmond checked his pulse. Our host no longer had any.

Wala na siya. Patay na siya.

We called for the police, and they arrived within fifteen minutes. Pagkatapos kunan ng mga retrato ang scene, inilabas na ang bangkay ni Sir Zack. We were invited to the police station to get our statements.

I never thought that I'd end up here. I never thought I'd witness someone's death.

Stacy was visible shaken when we arrived at the station. Nakatulala siya sa buong trip namin mula sa bahay hanggang dito. Her hands and knees were shaking uncontrollably. Binigay ko sa kanya ang aking jacket at hinawakan ang kanyang kamay para mapakalma siya. Her eyes met mine.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. I'm with you. Always."

I still couldn't believe what happened. The despedida party was supposed to end well. Uuwi dapat kami na may ngiti sa mga labi namin. Aalis na dapat si Sir Zack nang resolved na ang issues namin. 'Tapos biglang ganito?

If Desmond's words were to be believed, Sir Zack was poisoned with potassium cyanide. Alam kong matalino siya at posibleng reliable ang knowledge niya pagdating sa mga lason. Pero gugustuhin ko pa ring hintayin ang results ng autopsy.

Kung totoo man ang sinabi niya, walang ibang makapaglalason kay Sir kundi isa sa amin. Only the four of us were there. Wala nang ibang tao na invited sa party. If this unfortunate incident would turn into a murder investigation, the four of us were the suspects.

"Tayong apat lang ang nasa bahay niya noong oras na nag-collapse siya at nalagutan ng hininga. Wala nang iba. Sino pa ba ang posibleng pumatay sa kanya?" tanong ni Desmond.

I clenched my fists when a worrisome thought came to me.

"So you believe that one of us . . . is a murderer?"

"We're also not sure if one of us isn't."

At this moment, I would be the most likely suspect. Sa aming apat, ako ang nakaalitan ni Sir Zack nitong nakaraan. Students saw me punch him in the face when I went to the Guidance and Counseling Office. Kahit na humingi ako ng sorry at nagkaayos na kami, posibleng paghinalaan pa rin ako dahil sa history namin.

"Ayaw kong maging masyadong mapaghinala, pero gaano ba natin kakilala ang isa't isa? Pwede mo bang panindigan na hindi natin kayang pumatay?"

"This is going to be a huge scandal, you know? Me being implicated in a murder case? My parents will probably kill me! They're on their way here as we speak."

"My dad sounded extremely disappointed." I clasped my shaking right hand with the left. "But he has to listen to the full story before judging us."

"Mabuti't hindi ko poproblemahing masermonan. No one's here on earth to lecture me anyway."

"Here's the thing. We don't have lawyers with us right now, so it's not advisable to answer any of their questions. Remember, everything we say here can be used against us."

"But we didn't kill Sir Zafra, so we have nothing to hide to the police. Hindi ba mas magiging suspicious kung tatanggi tayong sumagot?"

Stacy had a point. Wala naman kaming dapat itago. Mas magiging malinaw pa nga kapag sinagot namin ang tanong ng mga pulis.

"I'm not telling you to keep your mouths shut. I'm just reminding you that we have the right to remain silent."

"Beatrice is right. Mas mabuti nga kung magsasalita tayo kapag may kasamang abogado. Baka may ipapirma pa 'tong mga pulis na 'to sa atin na hindi natin naiintindihan."

"We're only here out of courtesy. To provide information to what happened tonight."

What happened tonight? All I knew was that we're supposed to have fun and find closure with our instructor. Wala naman sigurong nag-expect sa amin na may mangyayaring ganito.

A police detective came to us and introduced himself. He affirmed Beatrice's statement that we didn't have to tell them anything, but they'd appreciate if we would cooperate. Una niyang ipinatawag si Stacy na tumingin muna sa akin bago siya tumuloy sa loob ng interrogation room. Our hands let go of each other.

"You didn't do it, did you?"

My eyes widened as I raised my gaze at Desmond. Nang magtagpo ang tingin namin, I realized that question was meant for me.

"Ako?" tanong ko sabay turo sa sarili. "Are you suspecting me as the one who might have killed Sir Zack?"

"Sa ating apat, ikaw ang may motibo," tugon ni Desmond, hindi pa rin ako nilulubayan ng tingin. "Ikaw lang ang may recent history na nakaaway mo siya. Remember? Last week, sinugod mo si Sir sa office. Para mag-react ka ng gano'n, malaki ang galit mo sa kanya."

I expected that angle to be brought up. "But Sir and I have already resolved our issues! Wala akong dahilan para saktan o patayin siya."

"Ikaw rin ang may opportunity na lasunin siya, kung tama ang hinala ko," sabi ni Desmond. "Ikaw ang nagdala ng wine glasses. Ikaw rin ang nagbukas ng wine. Kung ininom o pinag-inuman ni Sir ang lason, ikaw ang pinaka-obvious na suspek."

"Guys—" Beatrice tried to mediate, but I couldn't take Desmond's accusation sitting down.

"Ikaw rin naman, ah?" sagot ko. "Ikaw 'yong kumuha ng ice cubes mula sa fridge at ikaw rin ang nagdala ng ice bucket. Ikaw rin ang nag-distribute ng mga baso no'ng bumaba tayo sa living room. You had the same opportunity as I did."

"Ngunit hindi gaya mo, wala akong motibo," sagot ni Desmond. "Kahit saang anggulo mo tingnan, ikaw ang may rason para gawin 'to sa kanya."

"Tell me, why would I need to kill him if he's leaving the city tomorrow?" I asked. "We won't be seeing each other in the university anymore kaya ano pang sense na patayin siya?"

"Baka may alam si Sir na isang bagay na makasisira sa 'yo," tugon ni Desmond. Hindi ko naiwasang manlaki ang mga mata ko sa kanya. He spoke as if he knew something he shouldn't. "Kahit na umalis si Sir sa university, hangga't dala-dala niya ang sikreto mo, mananatili siyang threat para sa 'yo."

"And do you honestly think it's something worth killing for—"

"CAN YOU TWO PLEASE SHUT UP?"

Napatigil ako sa pagsasalita nang mamagitan na si Beatrice sa aming dalawa. Napalakas ang boses niya kaya ang ibang tao sa police station, napatingin din sa amin.

"Walang mabuting maidudulot ang finger pointing sa ngayon, okay?" naluluhang sabi niya. She's trying to keep her tears from falling. "Sir Zack is dead! Can you two please give him respect by not hurling accusations at each other? How can you be so insensitive?"

Hindi na napigilan ni Beatrice na mapahagulgol. As Sir Zack told me, he and Beatrice were quite close. I understood how painful it must be for her to lose someone she's friends with. While hindi kami gano'n ka-close ni sir, masakit din sa akin ang nangyari.

I offered her a shoulder to cry on, and for a few minutes, Desmond and I went silent. Bumalik din sa dati niyang composure si Beatrice at pinunasan ang kanyang mga luha. Her eyes were bloodshot.

Tahimik kaming naghintay hanggang sa lumabas na sa interrogation room si Stacy kasama ang mama niya. Tumayo ako para salubungin siya at itanong kung kumusta ang pagtatanong sa kanya. She said it went pretty well, but she looked shaken. I held her hand to assure her. Mas gusto ko sanang hawakan nang mas matagal, but her mom told her to come with her. I bade my farewell before they could leave the station.

The police detective called Beatrice next. Later on, my turn came. I stood and walked toward the interrogation room. The detective leaned against the doorframe and followed me with a curious gaze.

One thing's for sure. I didn't kill Sir Zack. So if not me, then who did?

-30-

If you've enjoyed this update and you have some thoughts/theories to share, let me know by posting or tweeting with the hashtag #Every1Suspect!