Garden Lodge

"How long?!" Kashmira Bulsara asked as she bounced her niece Roshni on her knee.

"You heard me, eight to ten weeks!" Monica patted Johnny's head as he slithered around the drawing room carpet.

"My god... can he wait that long?" Kash watched him as he followed one of the cats lingering by the sofa, dragging his plastered-up leg that now had several inkings from well-wishers with him.

"Probably not. He's like his daddy, he can't keep still." She stated nonchalantly and got up to take a toy from their play box in the corner of the room.

"Say what?!" The man happened to be walking into the drawing room from the kitchen, now dressed in his white promotional Flash Gordon t shirt and bleached denim jeans.

"Speak of the devil! You're meant to be at soundcheck!" Monica turned and watched as he leaned down to peck her lips before kissing his sister's cheek.

He childishly claimed, "Deaky isn't going. So why should I?"

"That's no excuse, I thought you were a perfectionist when it came to these things." She let his hand slip out of hers.

"...I trust Ratty and the rest of our crew to do what's best. The poor man has put up with my anal demands for years now." Freddie shrugged, and picked Johnny up off the floor.

"I'm not to sure that's the right word to describe your stubbornness in front of the children, Fred." Monica blushed as he propped the boy into his hip.

The man cackled, and Kash shook her head and tried to change the topic to something more innocent, "Nice hair, by the way. Has it gotten shorter since I last saw you?"

"Oh yes! Thank you. I just thought it'd be nice to have it up to my shoulders," Monica bashfully played with her hair. "It goes a little wavier on its own without I having to get a perm... also, I can't stand having a sweaty neck in the summer."

"Can't stand having a sweaty neck?!" Freddie exclaimed theatrically. "My god, how am I supposed to know if you're turned on or not, my dear?"

Monica gave him a playful whack on the bottom when Kash wasn't looking, and he gasped as Johnny laughed hysterically.

"More tea? Or coffee?" She quickly offered Kashmira before she had time to question her nephew's sudden outburst.

She sat up off her seat, "Of course, let me help clear this up."

"I'll do it," Freddie sat Monica back down, placing Johnny onto her lap gently. "I wouldn't mind preparing breakfast while I'm still here."

"Well, alright. You know where everything is, Kash?" She watched as she followed her brother out the door.

"I'll manage," His sister waved before entering. "Honestly, Fred. Making your baby sister do the dirty work!"

"Well you did offer!" Was all he could say before he vanished.

Phoebe entered the lounge seconds later, knocking on the door gently, "Monica?"

She lifted her head from their play mat, "Did you get the laundry done?"

"Yep, it's on the bed and ready to be sorted. I'm off to mark where I'm going to put the solar lights around the pond hole now before it begins to rain." The man started buttoning up his tattered plaid shirt which he kept for outdoor chores such as light gardening.

Monica stood up and brushed off her knees, "Thanks, you do that now then and I'll sort it out upstairs."

The man nodded and headed out the front door, leaving it unintentionally open...

The Desert Island Disks theme on BBC Radio 4 played throughout the kitchen just as Freddie and his sister walked in.

"Let me turn this off" Freddie rushed to the radio on the window sill.

He hesitated the moment the interviewer announced Montserrat Caballé, one of his most favourite opera singers, as the guest star.

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"No, your sister is here. Be polite." He told himself, then proceeded to switch the radio off.

"What was that?" Kash asked, loading the tea ware into the sink.

"Oh, nothing," he lifted a tea towel from the back of the chair. "It's just that I would've liked to have listened to that programme. Bad scheduling, I suppose."

"Maybe I shouldn't have come on a Sunday morning." Kash switched the tap on.

"Not at all! We're Zoroastrians, what the heck else are we meant to do on Sunday mornings?" He took a clean breakfast bowl from the drying rack.

"Spend time together, maybe."

"Well, isn't that what we're doing now?"

Kashmira just rolled her eyes, and started scrubbing a teacup clean as Freddie silently prepared his breakfast.

"So, uhm... I forgot how beautiful that Tiffany engagement ring was," She began, drying a saucer in her hands as she stood at the kitchen sink. "I got a good look at it when she handed Roshni over to me."

"Oh fuck..." Freddie thought as he slowly set down the box of cornflakes, knowing exactly where the conversation was going.

For anytime someone brought up the wedding band on Monica's ring finger, it was the elephant in the room of their relationship. Both had to deliver excuses as to why they kept putting the idea of their marriage back, yet still wanted to do it. For Monica, it was children (or so she said). For Freddie, it was work and children.

"Certainly. The way the diamond is cut and set... and silver really suits her, doesn't it?" He slowly put a teacup he was holding on the drying rack.

"It does. You-You pick out tastefully, as always." Kash squeezed water out of the dishcloth and into the basin.

"Thank you." He murmured, setting more ware into the cupboard.

"And it's... it's also versatile enough to find a wedding band to go with it too."

Things escalated quickly.

"Bloody hell, the boys and I just did a movie soundtrack and now we're exploring a whole new genre and about to duet with Davie Bowie-"

"It's Bow-Eee, not Bau-Eee!"

"Whatever. I have no time for-"

"It's been almost five years!" She cut across him. "Don't you think she's been waiting?"

"Monica knew what she was in for when she fell in love with a fucking celebrity, dear Kashmira." He droned. "And it's been four, not five. We met in 1977, got engaged in 1978."

"Don't talk to me as if I'm still a child, Fred!"

"Don't call me Fred! You know I hate it when people shorten my nickname-"

"Stop diverting the conversation, mum and dad are wondering when you're going to make it happen."

"We will, I promise!" He slammed the cupboard irritably. "It's just... you can't get any decent wedding dresses these days. It's all mock-Edwardian horror with the puffy sleeves the size of watermelons! I want my Monica looking like a goddess, not that lady you see on the packet of those biscuits from Lidl!"

"Well, wedding dresses? That's a pathetic excuse." She said, to which he scoffed. "I myself was thinking that if she styled her hair right, Monica would really suit that Scarlett O'Hara look, you know? The one with the white lacy dress."

"She's not a little southern belle on a ranch, or some little girl-"

"She was a girl when you met her!"

"She was eighteen!"

"Listen, Fred-Freddie! Think about what she wants! You made a promise, now you need to find a way to fulfil it."

He tensely gripped the edge of the metallic kitchen basin, huffing as he stared into the plughole.

"You're not feeling the way you did with Mary, are you?" She continued, more gently this time.

"Oh, god no. I didn't know any better back then, now I do... I just need to find a way to get around to it," he started to rummage trough his pocket. "I appreciate your concern, I really do... you've spelt-"

"Is that squabbling I hear?" Monica's playful voice interrupted, appearing at the kitchen doorway.

"You caught us." Freddie turned from his spot at the sink to face her.

"I don't know how you put up with him." Kash patted her brother's shoulder.

"Me neither, yet here we are." She got two sippie cups from the overhead cupboard.

"Where are they now?" Freddie asked, wiping his hands.

"I just checked. They're on their play mat." She opened the fridge.

"The tacky map one with the roads and houses?"

"Hey, I would've loved something like that if I was their age, and your son can't move much anyway. It's perfect!" Kash argued.

"It ruins the aesthetic of the lounge, that's all. It's a home, not a daycare centre." He defended.

"Well, they can't grow up any faster, Fred. You'll just have to get used to it." Monica poured milk into their sippie cups.

"My brother's certainly not one for practicality, is he?" Kash giggled.

"Oh yes, get at the poor old man!" He threw the dishcloth into the sink.

"Oh come on, don't be so petty" Monica rubbed his arm gently.

"Was he like that in the delivery room in Switzerland?" His sister asked jokingly.

"No, but he did faint when Roshni came out."

The two women laughed, and he growled in irritation and marched out, snatching the twins' sippie cups off of the counter before exiting the room.

That's when Monica realised he genuinely was annoyed about something.

She watched him leave, then when he'd gone out of view she looked to his sister, "Did I say something?"

"No, I did," Kash hesitantly confessed.

"You?"

The woman stared at her feet, "...I may have asked him why you aren't married yet."

"Oh... I see," Monica wiped the back of her hands on her thighs. "We get asked about that a lot."

"Well, aren't you sick of waiting?"

Her breath hitched, "Of course I am. We... well, he hasn't found the time or space of mind to try organise something."

"Well, why don't you try organise something in the meantime if he can't?"

"I don't know, I should probably find work again first before I even begin to try realising my vision. And Freddie would have to weigh in... he's like that, you know. He'd want it to be perfect. He was like that with the house anyway."

"I just don't want my brother getting your hopes up like he did with Mary. He's impulsive, and I understand." Kash said softly.

It was so strange for her to see somebody with so much resemblance to the man she loved, only to actually care for her feelings. Not that Freddie didn't already, but Kashmira seemed to understand what he didn't, especially when it came to marriage.

"Do you-Do you think he will do to me what he did to her?" She whispered, standing up against the sideboard.

"Hopefully not... He says he doesn't want you in a modern wedding dress anyway, I guess that's a 'Freddie' sign that the wedding is still on."

"...Like you said, he's certainly not one for practicality." Monica finally murmured, then smiled and giggled quietly.

Kash laughed, "He used to spend hours in our bathroom in Feltham and getting his black hairs stuck in the sink... drove us all nuts." 

Monica covered her mouth, "Hairs from his head?! Or-"

"I should hope so!"

The two women cackled, meanwhile when Freddie had entered the lounge not a few minutes before, the twins were nowhere to be seen. Just their toys laying scattered on the 'tacky' play mat.

"Alright, you two. Stop playing hide and seek." Already frustrated enough, the man set their cups down on the coffee table and put his hands on his hips.

He expected one of the to have popped out from behind a pillar by now, or perhaps underneath the staircase to the minstrel gallery.

He began to feel anxious when he couldn't hear their snickering. He listened harder, and heard a faint but familiar set of giggles.

He rushed to the tall front window to see the bloody little blighters frolicking in the trampled ground where the pathway to the front gate was to be unsupervised, getting their lovely new clothes covered in dirt and Johnny's leg cast soggy with the wet mud.

"FUCK! No, no, no," he scrambled out of the room, not once hesitating to call Monica for help.  "Why do these things always happen at the worst moments?!"

He darted out into the rain and chased after them, "You two are in so much bloody trouble!!"

They squealed, Roshni shot off in different zig zag directions, thus confusing him. And although Johnny wasn't very mobile he could still drag his plastered cast through the mud with ease and wriggle from his grip.

"YOU BETTER COME HERE AND GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE!" He shrieked.

But that threat didn't work. They continued to taunt him, Roshni speeding around him in circles and Johnny repulsing him by shoving fistfuls of mud into his mouth.

He skipped over them as his arms tried to claw for them, "RIGHT! THAT IS IT! Tonight, there will be no ice cream for either of youAAAGHHHH!"

The man eventually slipped in the mud, getting himself covered.

They approached him and laughed, "Look at daddy!"

Enraged, Freddie got back up on his knees and took Johnny under his arm as he happened to be nearest, being careful not to bang his broken leg as the boy tugged at his clean white shirt. Then, he managed to grab Roshni as she danced mockingly around him, flinging her over his shoulder.

"MONICAAA!!" He yelled towards the house as his squealing children struggled and kicked, smearing more and more mud all over him.

That call gave the woman chills up her spine as she stood in the kitchen. She watched Phoebe rush past the back kitchen window, as it was he who was supposed to have been supervising them.

She turned to Kashmira, "Please excuse me" before rushing out, too busy to be embarrassed.

"Not at all!" His sister followed her out quickly, wondering what drama her older brother had created this time.

Monica gasped and Phoebe dropped his measuring tape as they walked onto the scene.

"WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE-OWWW FUCK, I HAVE MUD IN MY HAIR!" he screamed as Roshni's grubby hand grabbed onto his scalp.

Horrified, Monica tended to his limping figure, awkwardly reaching to grab her daughter as Phoebe took Johnny out from under his arm with ease.

"I am so sorry about this!" Monica apologised to Kash, slipping past her as Freddie angrily brushed mud off his arms.

"If mum and dad could see him now." Was all she could reply as she rushed up the stairs after her future sister-in-law, Phoebe in tow.

Freddie slammed the front door shut and furiously wiped his feet before throwing his muddy shoes off into the corner of the hallway.

"I'm taking you all up to the bathroom! The three of you! And Johnny, just look at your cast!!" Monica called when she reached the landing.

The twins cheered at the announcement of bath time, but Freddie was flabbergasted as he ran up the stairs, "Wait, three?! I'm not bloody well getting in the tub with-"

"Don't be silly, I'm not asking you to get in with them!" Monica ordered firmly. "Go in now and go to the shower across the way. Phoebe, please can you run a bath and help them get ready? Johnny will have to get a sponge wash, and wipe his cast clean."

He nodded and carried Johnny into the bathroom. Freddie's eyes were still wide with madness, but he grumbled and marched into the black bathroom.

"I'm really sorry about all this!" Monica turned to Kash, who stayed silent throughout the commotion.

"It's-It's nothing new, honestly. Let's get this little monkey cleaned up." She reached over and ruffled Roshni's hair.

The girl naïvely giggled over her mother's shoulder, oblivious to the mischief that she and her bother had just created.

"The problem is, Freddie's bad at controlling them," Monica explained as she started to undress Roshni. "He just doesn't have the authority, and they're quick to disobey."

"I must say, he's much more like a teenage sibling when he's around them. Believe me, I'd know." Kash made herself useful and lifted the wet sponge out of the basin Phoebe had filled with warm soapy water.

"Indeed, I never realised he'd become my third child." Monica put her daughter into the jacuzzi bath tub as Phoebe silently sat Johnny down onto a towel he'd laid out so that he wouldn't dirty the Italian marble.

Kashmira started wiping mud off her nephew's plastered leg, "Third child... that's a good way of putting it."

"Mummy, I want duckies!" Roshni pleaded as Monica started lathering shampoo into her daughter's muddy hair.

"Well," she spoke through gritted teeth. "You can have the duckies when you say the magic word."

"Pwease!" She gripped onto the rim of the bath tub.

She couldn't resist that little face smiling back up at her.

"Alright, mummy will find them." Monica got back up onto her feet, and Phoebe took her place.

She shot Kash, their guest who had quickly become their nanny, an apologetic glance before exiting the bathroom.

"Monica?" A velvety voice stopped her as she strode down the corridor towards the twins' bathroom where she'd last left their rubbed ducks.

She stopped in her tracks, and spun around.

Freddie approached her as he tied his bathrobe up, his hair wet. He was no longer wearing his cold stare or tense, locked jaw, and the veins on his forehead and neck had gone down.

She crossed her arms, "That was quick. See? It was only a little bit of mud."

"You never said that." He murmured flatly.

"I know, but you still kicked up a fuss." She sighed, and broke eye contact.

"Wait, I'm sorry I embarrassed you like that." He grabbed her arm.

"Fred, please let go. Roshni wants the rubber ducks-"

"Listen to me." He pleaded gently.

She refused to meet his glistening eyes. She knew exactly what he was frustrated about, and why. But she knew that it wasn't the place and time to discuss anything of the sort.

"Please dry yourself off and go downstairs." She pried his hand off her arm.

Freddie reluctantly obliged, stopping by the marble bathroom to lean by the doorframe and watch his assistant and sister cleaning his children up with ease.

Then, he lifted a clean white towel from the heat rack and started doing what most fathers did; tending to their children.

"Bring the boy here." He sat himself down on the chair, opening the towel onto his lap.

Kashmira lowered Johnny into his oustretched arms, "There you are... I take it they're forgiven."

"They only get away with it because they're cute." He cooed, kissing his little boy's cheek as he started rubbing him dry.

Phoebe shook his head and giggled as he finished rinsing the suds out of Roshni's hair. Their Auntie Kash wiped her hands together, "I probably ought to catch my bus. I need to pack up and get the train to Nottingham tonight."

"You know your way out?" Freddie signalled her over.

"I'll be fine!" They exchanged kisses on the cheek, then she rubbed Johnny's head affectionately, "Remember, don't get your cast wet again!"

She went to give her niece a brief hug as Phoebe lifted her out of the tub, "Say goodbye to your auntie, Roshni."

"Buhbye!" She waved as Kashmira slipped away, blowing kisses.

She met Monica in the landing as she was about to disappear.

"You about to head off?" Monica set the rubber ducks and talc in her hands down by the doorway.

"I'm afraid so," Kashmira pulled her into a hug. "Work tomorrow, I'm afraid."

"Well, at least me show you out." Monica lead her to the staircase.

"I think Freddie has calmed." Kash said when they reached the door.

"I know, his bark is worse than his bite. I'm sure you understand."

"Of course," she hugged Monica again, and then whispered into her ear, "Remember what I told you."

She numbly watched as the sister of the man she loved dodged the mud on the front lawn and headed towards the gate, then glanced down to the engagement ring on her hand the moment she heard the gate shut.

From that moment onwards she realised that this marriage business was probably something she had to start taking seriously for the future, no matter how hard it'd be to get through to Freddie about it.