A&E, Bupa Cromwell Hospital

"How could I allow this to happen?" Monica snivelled, holding the boy on her lap still, keeping a blanket around him to get rid of his chills.

Johnny stopped his crying by the time they arrived at the newly built private hospital (which was fortunately a few blocks nearby), his mother trying to shush and console him throughout the journey. Now, he laid slumped against his mother's chest, clutching his teddy bear and suckling from a small juice box as they all waited for his turn in the X-Ray department together where they'd been directed to; at this stage he was too exhausted to care about how sore his leg was, and he just wanted the pain to end.

"How could I... I should have gotten that hole blocked away immediately... I should've searched harder." Freddie stared blankly across to the wall with the notice boards.

Roshni couldn't be blamed. She was playing on her own, and wearing earmuffs to block his screams when he fell. They'd asked her if she'd heard him but she said no.

"...They've been harder to keep track of these days." Was all she could reply.

She lifted her head and looked back at Freddie with remorse.

The girl was a state. Her clothes were muddy, hair wet, traces of mascara streaming down her lightly made up face. She didn't care about being such a sorry sight, just getting her baby boy on the way to a painless recovery.

Phoebe helplessly sat next to them, and Roshni quickly toddled over to her dad with handfuls of patient information leaflets she collected along the corridor as they waited.

"Now... what have you got there, my little love? Is this for me?" He murmured as she handed him a leaflet on thrush, and she nodded proudly.

She couldn't read, so it was the pictures and bright colours that she was judging by.

"Oh darling," he giggled quietly. "I appreciate the kind gesture but I don't think I will be needing this anytime soon."

She hopped off to further give her mum and Phoebe leaflets on schizophrenia and pregnancy.

"Why have I got this one?" Phoebe pointed at the illustration of an expectant lady. "Is it because I have that lady's big belly?"

Freddie tried to hold back his giggles as Phoebe blushed, and Roshni nodded before handing her distraught brother a leaflet fronted with a microscopic photograph of what looked like a form of louse amongst thick, black hairs-

"Mummy will take that, sweetie." Monica awkwardly snatched it away, cheeks reddening.

"Well, nobody here has crabs, I should hope." Phoebe chuckled slightly and rubbed Roshni's head, trying to lighten the mood.

"Mmm, I very much doubt it..." Freddie flicked through the thrush leaflet, tapping his foot impatiently on the linoleum flooring.

"For goodness sake, Freddie stop looking at those!" Monica hissed, bouncing her son gently on her lap.

"What?! They're only Vaginas!" he lifted his head, startled. "Silly medical drawings, that aren't even realistic because they don't have any pubic-"

"Not in front of them, please!" She reached across and snatched it off him.

"Wots Vaajjyyynnnaaa?" Roshni piped.

"Oh it's nothing, your daddy's just bored waiting so he's... he's making up words!" Monica rubbed her head as the man just rolled his eyes, and the nurse appeared at the door.

"Johnny Bulsara?" He called out.

"That's us" Monica sat up gently with her boy in her arms.

Freddie hauled Roshni up onto his lap, "do you want Phoebe to come with?"

"I best be here, boss" Phoebe stayed glued to his seat, looking around anxiously even though the place wasn't too busy; there were only one or two other patients sitting and minding their own business but even they couldn't be trusted. "When one sees me, then everyone else will want a piece of me" was Freddie's warning when out in public.

"We will meet you back here." Monica propped the boy on her hip.

"We won't be a moment, it's over quickly" the nurse added as he followed mother and child close behind.

"God, okay..." Freddie anxiously adjusted Roshni in his arms as she fidgeted.  "Well thank god one of them is alright..."

"You know, maybe we should think about guarding that hole until we get the water and irrigation in it at least." Phoebe explained.

"What way, I wonder... it's not visible at night. One of my little cats could fall in, the poor dears!" He patted his daughter's back.

"They can just climb back out though... how about we line up the pond edge with solar lights?" Phoebe suggested.

"Solar lights? Ugly looking things," Freddie dismissed the idea. "They don't balance with the aesthetic of the garden."

"We can drop by a garden centre tomorrow and find some that'll balance then" Phoebe took out his shopping list.

"Maybe just order a bloody gardening catalogue," Freddie murmured as his daughter played with his hands. "but by the time those arrive, the fish from Japan and the filtering system will be here too."

"...Maybe people will know for the future." Phoebe responded, sensing that it'd be pointless talking any further.

"Maybe... Roshni now knows to keep away from the big bad hole, don't you darling?" He planted a kiss on his daughter's head.

"Yaaahh!" She stood up on his lap as he giggled, holding her hands to help keep her balanced.

Phoebe smiled and scribbled solar lights onto the shopping list before stuffing his notes back into his pocket.

"Oh... what's that pong?" Freddie wrinkled his nose.

"When did she last get changed?" Phoebe asked.

"Monica said they were both done this afternoon," He lifted his daughter up and got a whiff of her lower body, and this time his entire face scrunched up in disgust. "Eughhh! God... okay, okay she needs done."

"You know, you really need to think about training them," Phoebe said, getting up and looking around for a changing unit as he slung the nappy bag on his shoulder. "They're getting too old."

"I know what potty-training entails, Phoebe," Freddie huffed, handing his daughter over to him. "Or at least I can imagine."

"I think the idea is that they find the nearest potty when they feel the need to go, Freddie." Phoebe adjusted Roshni on his hip.

"Yes, but I don't care if the worst thing about doing anything is starting it. It's going to be a messy beginning," He shuddered, getting up after him. "Why is it when they're still the cutest little darlings they're also hard work as well... and smelly?"

"Because that's life," Phoebe pushed the door open. "Nothing's perfect."

Freddie grumbled, following his assistant and daughter along the corridor.

Meanwhile his lover and their son were in the dimly lit X Ray lab, trying to get Johnny to adjust to the right position as he restlessly lay on the examination table directly below the projector.

"Try get him to keep still... relax him." the technologist instructed.

Monica leaned down to her whimpering little boy, "Okay, you're going to have to stay still for mummy."

He shook his head as tears streamed down his face, terrified of the environment around him and the pain in this leg.

It broke her heart in two to see such pain and fear in his face, especially when out of the two of them Johnny was the one that resembled Freddie the most. No child as young as him should've been suffering.

"Shhhh... They only want to take a special picture of your leg to see if they can make it better," she rubbed his head soothingly. "Would you like to count to ten?"

He nodded, and he stopped struggling slightly as Monica nodded to the technologist before holding up her fingers for the boy to see.

"One... two... three... four... five..." they counted together as one or two lights flashed above.

"There we are, we'll send that to the doctor." The technician nodded approvingly.

"Thank god" Monica thought, knowing that Roshni would need her nappy changed about now and wondering how those boys were getting on with it.

In the changing unit...

"Just wipe her clean, Fred" Phoebe pleaded, handing the repulsed man a fresh baby wipe.

"She will piss all over me!" He backed away from Roshni laying on the unit as he pinched his nose tight, dirtied nappy open. The toddler was now bawling her eyes out over the fuss her father had caused with his raised voice.

"You've got to, otherwise if she sits in her own mess any longer her skin will be sore." Phoebe coaxed him loudly over her wailing, placing the nappy in a plastic bag.

Freddie glanced back to his little girl waiting helplessly as his assistant wiped her tears away with a clean tissue. He was reluctant, but he knew that if he didn't do anything she'd be suffering.

"I can't let my little girl go through this out of my own selfishness... if Monica can do it multiple times a day how hard can it be?" he thought.

He scoffed, "What kind of father am I?", taking the wet wipe and gently rolling the girl onto her tummy.

"That's it... nice and clean" Phoebe encouraged the man as he turned his head away as far as he could stretch and reluctantly cleaned her up.

Now he'd really begun to wish he never left Neverland Ranch.

"Is she done yet, Phoebe?" He opened one eye, wiping in between her legs.

"Yes, that is fine. Now go open a clean nappy for her." Phoebe pulled out the rash cream.

"What's that for?" Freddie widened his eyes in fear.

"This goes on her bottom-"

"For goodness sake, Phoebe! Let me put the bloody thing on her at least!" He dug through the nappy bag, thinking about how Monica had to do this disgusting routine more than once every day and she still loved them.

"Alright, I'll do it!" His assistant sighed in defeat, and got to work.

"Thank you dear," he opened the new nappy and gently slid it under Roshni's legs. "Now... what goes where?"

"The two flaps go into the middle- ahh no, you're uhmm... you're supposed to remove the protector off the sticky bits first." Phoebe awkwardly tried to interfere.

"I should've practiced this on a bloody teddy bear like Monica did before they arrived." Freddie muttered under his breath, pressing into place.

"Well, count yourself lucky you're practicing on a real baby." Phoebe picked her dungarees up and fed each leg through one by one as Freddie darted to the sink and frantically pumped a large amount of liquid soap onto his hands.

"I'm no baby!!" Roshni protested, a pout on her face.

Phoebe giggled as he slipped her socks back on, "No, actually you're a very small girl."

"A small girl who doesn't yet know how to use a potty, oh yes you are..." Freddie cooed and finished drying his hands before picking her up and pulling her close to him. "Phoebe, check the bag for any hand sanitiser, would you?"

His assistant simply shook his head as he zipped the bag up and slung it back over his shoulder.

"Your dad is something else, isn't he Roshni?" He playfully asked the girl as she babbled over his shoulder.

"Don't you start!" Freddie called over as he pushed the door open, ignoring the several onlookers who heard his shouts from outside.

They came across Monica and with their son in her arms just as they came out of the changing area.

"Oh! How was it?" Phoebe asked her.

"We have to wait until the doctor calls us in." Monica headed back towards the seating, and they followed.

"I've a new found respect for you." Freddie whispered when he caught up to her side.

She lowered herself, "You do?"

He nodded, "I can't believe you have to scoop up their crap more than three times a day."

Monica glanced to Phoebe for answers as the twins babbled to one another.

"Freddie had to change Roshni's nappy. He had quite an ordeal." Phoebe rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you did, did you?" Monica smiled, and the man simply shuddered.

"Oh, come on, Freddie. It can't have been that bad, you did such a good job!" Phoebe reached over and patted the man's arm.

"We need to fucking train them," Freddie's jaw clenched. "Even if it means they run around shitting everywhere in our lovely house. We need to buy potties or a special seat."

"I like this new attitude!" Monica nodded approvingly as Phoebe sighed and scribbled down another item on his shopping list.

"Can the family of Johnny Bulsara bring him in here please?" The Doctor called them.

"Thank fuck... I mean, wanted to pop out for a cigarette, but thank fuck!" Freddie thought, sitting up and stopping Roshni from running off again.

"Please don't be anything bad, please don't be anything bad..." Monica whispered as she carried her boy in.

"Please sit down here..." the doctor directed them to a pair of seats in front of a monitor before bending down to Johnny's level and putting on a patronising voice, "Hello again, Johnny boy! I'm just telling your mummy and daddy what's happened to your leg, alright?"

The boy simply stared back in his dad's fashion with an unimpressed look in his eyes, curled up in his mother's arms.

"It's all going to be fine." Phoebe whispered to Monica as she felt Freddie's hand in hers. Roshni ran to the corner of the room where there was a small play area set up.

"Right, if you see where I am pointing, there is a crack...," the doctor pointed to the image with his nib point pen. "And look there, you will see that this bone is out of place. He needs surgery to push it back in place before it can be set for some time."

Her worst fear had been confirmed, but she took a deep breath and proceeded, "Alright... so, where do I-"

"The nurse in the lab at the end of the hall is waiting to set a temporary cast for him. He will be placed on the waiting list in the children's unit."

"Alright, but when will he be able to walk on it again?" She studied the x ray, then her own son's leg propped on her lap.

"That depends on the healing period. In the meantime he shall have to be carried around, then after a week or two he will be able crawl around." The doctor straightened up the documents in his hand, then handed them to Phoebe.

"Wait, why can't he have a bloody wheelchair?" Freddie uttered in slight aggravation.

"Oh Fred, use a bit of common sense." Monica thought, rolling her eyes when he wasn't looking,

"Sir, please don't use language like that in my office. Wheel chairs are recommended for more serious injuries such as the thigh bone," the doctor received another list from a member of staff, and put it on his clipboard. "One thing you can do is find a way to get rid of that pacifier though, he's sucking on it awfully hard."

"Well, I think it's soothing him and offering him some pain relief." Monica agreed that Johnny was attached to his dodo, especially when he was scared.

"Well, little boys need to learn how to self soothe," the doctor casually started, reading through the A&E list. "And, if he sucks on that 'dodo' any longer right until he starts school he's going to end up with horsey teeth like that ugly bloke in that band."

"Who? Robin Gibb?"  Freddie spoke up.

"Freddie Mercury*, I believe he's-"

"Well did it ever bloody occur to you that Freddie Mercury happens to be his father?!" The man roared, lunging at him across the desk and knocking over pots of pens in the process.

"Freddie, stop!" Monica grabbed his arm as the two infants whimpered in fright, and the doctor looked back at him in disbelief.

Freddie stayed firmly hunched as he eyed the doctor with fury, arms trembling and ignoring Phoebe tugging his his sleeve and pleading, "Don't do it, Fred. Not in front of your children."

The doctor's examination office was silent.

"Why, maybe I-I just didn't check your name on the form properly- oh, what do you know? There it uhm-that's it, Frederick Mercury." The Doctor was now nervy.

"Really? Well, isn't that nice," Freddie snarled, allowing Phoebe to sit him back down, and he stayed hunched in his seat as Roshni ran back to her mother. "You're as incompetent as I thought-"

"Freddie, stop it! You're frightening them!" Monica hissed, rubbing her daughter's head as she lingered by her side.

He sighed, and sat back down, "I apologise for my actions, doctor. Is there anything else you need to discuss with us?"

The man fixed his tie a little,  "Well, just looking at this, it has come to my attention that the boy fell into a hole and wasn't found until you both went looking for him. I am obliged to call social services and have a right to question such neglect-"

"It was a mistake! We didn't bloody know he'd fall in there, alright?" Freddie snapped across him.

Monica shook his arm to stop him, "Please don't cause a scene!"

He huffed and looked away, "I'm sorry. Just... doctor, it was an unfortunate accident. We have only had the hole for a few days. I mean, there are young families with mad dogs that savage little children-"

"It's true, Doctor. We are all still getting used to the big hole in the garden." Phoebe cut across him just in time, not daring mention that he and Freddie had been away.

"Who are you, sir? The boy's uncle?" The doctor raised a brow.

"No sir, I'm his dad's personal assistant." Phoebe blushed slightly.

"Please, contacting social services is unnecessary." Monica pleaded, and shot Phoebe a glance of appreciation.

The man continued, "I did suggest to my boss that we should put outdoor lights around the hole for the future."

"He did." Freddie murmured.

The doctor crossed his arms, "Do you think that this precaution will prevent future accidents like this?"

The parents nodded.

Then the doctor turned to Phoebe, "How are they as parents, sir?'

"Well, how fucking dare he!!" Freddie felt his fists clench as Monica felt the lining of her stomach flush.

She'd spent the last two or so years of her life dedicated to raising her children and now, for the first time, someone stood up and questioned her authority over an accident.

But Phoebe answered without hesitation, "Wonderful, sir. Monica works tirelessly and put her life on hold for them. Not a lot of young women her age are as resilient young mothers as she is. As for my boss, he spends a lot of his time away from them. But when he's with them again he-"

"Alright, spare me the sob story. I'm letting you off with a warning. Any repeated injuries and social services might be on your doorstep," The doctor reluctantly handed their medical form back, and Freddie snatched it off. "Take this to reception after the boy's been given a temporary cast, and with confirmation from your personal manager, seeing as you're a VIP person, they will contact security to escort you to our private care unit where you will receive closure until he is discharged."

"How long will it take to set his leg?" Monica stood up gently as Phoebe called Roshni over.

"Oh, he could be in here for another night. It depends on how well the surgery goes."

"Two nights, my god..." Freddie skimmed through the documents in his hands.

"Daddy made new word!" Roshni said as Phoebe picked her up.

"Really? What would that be, little one?" The Doctor pushed his chair into his desk.

"Vagina!" She cheered over his shoulder.

Freddie stopped in his tracks, blushing as Monica simply tugged his sleeve.

"Did he? Very good." The doctor smugly remarked.

Phoebe laughed uneasily, "Kids are always saying the darnedest things!"

The doctor slammed the door behind them.

"We should've gone to Mr Atkinson... I bloody hate public healthcare sometimes." Freddie whispered into her ear as Phoebe bent down to Roshni and started explaining to her that some words are best not to be used again.

"This is a private hospital, Freddie. It isn't public,"  She started trudging slowly down the corridor. "I'm sure if Gordon worked in emergency he would have done the same. Child safety is mandatory these days."

"But he threatened to call social services-on a hardworking mother like you who keeps things shipshape day in, day out while I'm away every day-"

"Yes, he took my confidence down a peg or two... but he was just doing his job." She swallowed sadly, then went to sit back down on the chairs.

"What was that, being a moron?" Freddie murmured, following.

"You seem to be forgetting you have an army of witnesses to back you up though." Phoebe sat next to her, noticing tears in her eyes.

"He's right, you know. That man thought utter bollocks." Freddie joined her on the other side

"He casually insulted your smile, Freddie! Doesn't that bother you in the slightest?" She spoke into her son's head.

"A little bit... but it would've bothered me years ago more than it does now."

"Why is that?"

"Fame just gives you a tougher skin against some things... and love."

She felt his hand on her thigh, and smiled a bit to herself.

"Go on and hug your mummy, carefully now." Phoebe whispered to Roshni.

Monica giggled as her little girl clambered off Phoebe's lap and burrowed under her arm.

"See? We know how splendid you truly are." Freddie kissed her cheek.

She smiled and gave her children a small squeeze, "Oh, you two..."

"Mummy I'm sore!" Johnny whined, tugging her shirt.

"Ok, well lets go to the front desk now, shall we?" She bounced him a little.

"Off we go, little one." Phoebe lifted Roshni back up.

"Johnny's leg bwoken?" She asked.

"Yes, sweetie. Johnny's leg is broken. But we are here to get it fixed." Monica explained.

"I'm going out for a bloody smoke... I've gone on long enough without one." Freddie hauled himself back up.

"Do you know where to go?" Monica asked as he kissed Johnny on the head.

"I'll ask around for directions, meet you outside it in a few." He turned away.

Monica watched as he stormed out of sight, then turned to Phoebe, "That man is making much more of a fuss than our boy is!"

Phoebe shrugged as they walked down along the corridor, "What can I say? He has been to Neverland Ranch. He'll never grow up."

"God, Phoebe! You and your bad puns!" Monica giggled.

To be continued...

*based on a true statement given by a dentist to a user who posted her story of concern about her son's excessive attachment to pacifiers and thumb-sucking on mumsnet.com in order to seek out advice ;D