Putney, 26th december 1984

"Alright you two, what do you say to John and Veronica for cooking such a delicious lunch?" Monica stopped Johnny and Roshni from leaving the Deacon's dinner table without showing any gratitude.

They halted as they were about to run from their seat, "Thank you John and Veronica"

Veronica smiled, wiping 11 month old Joshua Deacon's face clean, "Aww, well you're both very welcome."

John beamed by her side, "It's always lovely having you two around to play"

"Robert, why don't you show Johnny and Roshni your christmas present?" his wife stopped their eldest son as she walked past him.

"Yeah, why don't you go into the living room and set up your console for them?" John followed.

"I wanna show you my doll's house!" their toddler Laura tugged Roshni's skirt.

"What's a console?" Monica asked as she stood up from her seat.

"An Atari" John whispered.

"Can't get him off of it" Veronica added.

"Don't forget to take your napkin off, sweetheart" Monica bent down and started untcuking them from her son's neck as he got up of his chair.

"What adorable outfits they're both in!" Veronica leaned over to her, admiring the smart white shirt and bow tie Johnny wore and the navy blue velvet party dress that Roshni was in, "I can see why you didn't want them to get stained."

"Well, thank you... they have no table manners at all" Monica folded his stained napkin onto his dirty plate, flicking off a bit of potato fluff from his brunette eyebrow-skimming bangs.

"Also, loving this!" Veronica gestured at her simple violet jersey frock.

"Thank you, Fred got it for my birthday," she straightened up the skirt and started lifting her children's dinner plates, "it's Yves Saint Laurent... I love what you've got going on with the earrings and the sweater though!"

"These? I wore these on our first date, they're ancient!" Veronica pointed at the chandelier earrings falling amongst her fiery hair.

"We also have a home version of Pong!" Robert exclaimed as he lead the children out with a skip in his step.

"Did someone say Ping Pong?" Freddie had returned from the toilet at that moment, tucking his thick, vivid jumper back under his bleached high-waisted denim.

"What?" Monica was struggling to follow the topic.

"Electric table tennis... It's been out for ten years but we still have ours" John explained.

"Oh, I'm good at that!" Freddie dashed out after them, desperate to beat his own children at something.

The bassist with the sandy brown afro rushed out after him, "It's not that type of ping pong, Fred!"

Monica laughed along with Veronica as she hauled Joshua out of his high chair.

"Can I help with anything?" she noticed her hands full with dirty napkins as well.

"Would you please? I have to change the baby and then put him down for his nap" Veronica bundled him up into her arms.

She looked at the dinner table filled with far too many empty plates and serving dishes behind her. She knew that another pair of hands to transport them to the kitchen would make light work, but she didn't know how Veronica wanted it and would be far too distracted to instruct her.

"I'll take him up and clean him" instinctively, she held her arms out.

"Wonderful!" the child's mother ever so gently placed him into Monica's arms, much to her delight.

Instantly, she was captivated by the chubby cheeks and the sparkly green eyes staring back up at her as she carried him out the door.

"Aren't you precious..." she heard herself say as she raked her hand through his red curls, Veronica smiling as she started stacking the dinner plates.

In response he gave her a toothless smile and reached up to grab fistfuls of her brown hair as she felt her heart melt.

"Oh, I do miss when Johnny and Roshni looked back up at me like that too..." she bounced him gently in her arms, "I wish I didn't take those years for granted"

Monica had been missing their baby years in recent days for a reason she couldn't explain. Other than one cold, bleak saturday shortly before she got off for christmas, she was called in to assist a last minute shoot for a nappy advert that Theo's company had to produce, and when she arrived the studio was painted white and the floor was filled with infants and their nannies or chaperones crawling across the space.

"He's a looker, isnt he?" she heard his mother call from the kitchen, sensing her hesitation.

Before she knew it, her voice had gone into a coo as she headed for the stairs, "Oh he certainly is, he certainly is!"

"Almost forgot! His nursery is the second door on the left" Veronica called after her.

That made Monica halt in her tracks, for within a second she remembered that behind that door used to be their guest bedroom where she slept, on the night Freddie accused her of infidelity after a misunderstanding back in early 1978, when she was almost one month pregnant.

Shortly after that, it was difficult standing in the same walls of the Deacon Household where she spent a few ungodly hours trying to sleep because never in her life had she felt so divided as to what to do. To this day she still had trouble trying to erase his hurtful words from her memory. It was up there with the Lenny incident.

"But so much has happened since then... so much that you should be proud of" she thought as she carefully climbed up each step, babe in arm.

Once she reached his nursery she laid him down on the baby-changing station, and after looking after two babies at once it all came back naturally to her. Everything in the room was much neater and easier to navigate, probably because the Deacons only had one infant to deal with at a time.

Once Joshua had been cleaned and dried, she laid him down in his cot. Much to her relief he was quiet, closing his eyes the second the room went dark as she pulled the blinds down.

What she didn't know is that she had a bystander watching her the whole time as she gently slipped her finger out of his tiny, curled-up hand.

"He's put a spell on you, eh?" A low voice interrupted.

She gasped, spinning around to find Deaky shyly stepping in with his hands behind his back.

"Oh, yes, he has," she giggled quietly.

"You want another one, I can tell" He joked, leaning up against the cot rails to peer inside.

"Thought I'd offer to help, she looked like she had her hands full" Monica looked away as she felt the lining of her stomach go pink.

"Nonsense. I know what Veronica is like when she starts feeling broody." He playfully jabbed her arm.

She whispered, "You and Veronica have a beautiful boy, that's all... in fact, all four of them are beautiful"

Much to her relief, John stopped making jokes about her wanting more children and silently stared into the cot.

"I never had a father growing up... I try to spend as much time with them as I can" he spoke out of the blue.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" Monica lifted her head.

"He died when I was only a boy" he slipped one of Joshua's ginger ringlets through his fingers.

"Oh, of course... Freddie did tell me once early on in our relationship but I suppose I forgot, I'm sorry" she awkwardly pat his shoulder out of sympathy.

"It's alright," he looked back at the wall, "Fame is a bit of a barrier that's all"

"Is that so?" she noticed the look in John's eyes turn blank, as if he was getting sidetracked or having doubts, or even hiding something that he wanted to let out but know he had to supress.

"Mmhm," he tensly gripped the cot rail, "...but do you know who also makes it worthwhile? Aside from family, of course?"

"Who?" she was a little taken aback that his wife and children wasn't his immediate answer.

"Freddie... he's the only one keeping Queen together" he turned to her.

"Freddie? ...But he's always nagging about how things are-"

"He's my best friend. You've got no idea how much I appreciate him being there," he stated, "Remember years ago when you ran away and I told you that he's got a heart of gold? I still mean it... he may not show it the way I do but he's a loving father and a loving husband," He stopped himself when he remembered that Monica was still engaged, "he's a loving husband-to-be, pardon me... what I am trying to say is that I am lucky to have a friend like him, and you're lucky to have him in your life"

She didn't understand why John was suddenly being so sentimental or what he was trying to tell her. She strongly felt he was right at that moment, but he was suddenly talking about Freddie in such an observant way as if to start comparing himself to him. Was John having doubts about himself as a father, a husband, or a musician for that matter? Or was there something about Freddie that she didn't know about but John did?

She cuatiously started, "Is there something you want to talk about? Something you're-"

"Of course not," he swallowed, and she saw the cheery spark return to his eyes, "Just thought that you should know how good he's been to me"

He turned and crept out of the room, and confused, Monica dragged her feet out after him and shut the door behind her with a click.

She knew that he was concealing something, but couldn't possibly think what it was. John Deacon always seemed like a happy man with a nice family who had his priorities seemingly in check.

She followed him to the living room where all the children now were, but stopped at the door way to observe. Johnny was playing with Michael's Millenium Falcon on the carpet. She watched as John crouched down next to Roshni as she played with the little Laura at her doll's house in the corner of the room and kindly offred, "Roshni, would you like to have a go against your dad at virtual ping pong?"

"Yes please! But... isn't that a game for boys only?" she sat staring at the floor.

"Of course not! Anybody is allowed to play virtual ping pong, unless they are blind with no fingers!" he held his hand out to her.

Roshni looked over at the television screen doubtfully at first, then looked back at Deaky as she nodded.

John helped her back up onto her feet, and walked her over to where Freddie was sitting huddled in front of the television directly across the room from where she stood with his back to her. Robert was by his side, patiently instructing him on how to use the white bar to stop the white dot hitting the edge.

"Roshni wants to have a go. Will you show her how?" John bent down to him.

Robert nodded and handed Roshni his remote. Once she sat down he gave her brief guidance on how to use it as another round of Pong began. Monica could still tell that Freddie was getting stressed out at his own clumsiness by the way he was sitting hunched with his elbows bent out by his sides as the number on the black screen climbed higher.

"Drat!" he hissed again, shuddering at the sound of the irritable hum from the television speakers every time he missed the ball.

At that point Monica and John knew that it was a good point to leave and get back to helping Veronica clear the dinner table, but by the time she got back most of the ware was stacked upon the sideboard or in the brand new dishwasher in the kitchen.

She observed as John waltzed up to his wife to give her a kiss, told her that he was going to fetch a bottle of pinot noir from the liquor cabinet.

"I wonder if I should ask her if she noticed something up with John?" Monica watched with puzzlement as John strutted out of the room, light on his feet as his wife laughed at him.

"Did he get to sleep?" Veronica slotted a plate into the dishwasher shelf.

"The baby?" For a moment, she was distant, "Oh! Yes he is, don't worry"

"Good! I hope he wasn't any trouble" she put a pasta tray into the sink.

"On no... he was an angel" Monica started to help her fill up the dishwasher.

"He's been our quietest baby" Veronica smiled, then switched the hot tap on.

"Poor Veronica... whatever it is that's going on with John I hope that it doesn't impact her or the children" she watched as she poured Fairy Liquid onto a sponge and started scrubbing the baked residue off the tray.

A set of feet stomping across the tiles interrupted her train of thought, and in came Freddie grumbling and cussing under his breath.

"So, how was the electric table tennis?" Monica asked.

"Roshni beat me... The buttons are too bloody small... and that knob thing!" he tensed his hands before slipping his arms around her from behind.

She reached down and took them in hers in an attempt to cheer him up, "That's because you have piano fingers that are meant to stretch from one key to another, not crouch across to buttons on a controller"

"She's right you know... John's fingers are a bit more nimble so he is able to play with more ease" Veronica shut the dishwasher door with a slight slam.

"What are those Veronica? Waterford crystal?" Freddie asked, resting his chin on Monica's shoulder.

"I don't know. They were one of our wedding presents" the woman lifted one of the crystal glasses up to examine the base.

"We only bring it out on special occasions such as christmas" John joined in the conversation as he came in with a bottle of red wine.

"Are the children distacted now?" Veronica asked him.

John nodded as he put the screw into the bottle's cork, "And I made sure to tell them to be quiet because the baby is napping"

Monica felt the thumb of Freddie's left hand smooth across the broken glass scar dashed across her right palm, the index finger on his right hand twiddling the tifanny diamond on her left ring finger as she intently watched Veronica dry them one by one, John patiently waiting to fill them up.

"If only there were more moments to ourselves like this, eh?" she felt Freddie's moustache tickle her ear lobe as he whispered.

She giggled, "We have had plenty of opportunities to have moments like these"

Freddie's arms around her tightened as he buried his face into her chestnut brown Hollywood curls, a gurgling sound coming from the pipes as Veronica emptied the suddy basin water down the plughole.

"You're wearing the perfume I got you, dearie" his hot breath made her cheeks redden as John and Veronica crooned at such an affectionate display.

"Of course. It was one of my most favourite christmas presents this year" she heard herself say as she crossed her legs.

"Really?" He put his lips on her neck lightly.

"Mhhmm..." she turned rigid as she nodded, for being openly loved-up in front of the Deacons still made her cringe seven years after being caught by them in the hot tub in Cornwall.

"I thought that your most favourite present was last night... I made sure that christmas ended with a bang" he purred.

The Deacons cackled as Monica's eyes widened, her wriggling out of Freddie's grip to take the glass that John was offering her, "Thank you."

"You're welcome" he smiled as Freddie stood there with a playful pout forming on his face.

"What shall we toast to?" Veronica held her glass into the middle of the circle that they formed.

"A good year for our families" John said.

"Yes, that'll do rightly" Freddie followed shortly.

Monica was half expecting him to suggest something saucy, or at least Queen-related as she clinked her glass against each one before taking her first sip, but brushed it off because Roger and Brian weren't there.

"Darling, shall we go into the sitting room?" Veronica put her hand on her husband's arm.

He nodded, "That'll be much nicer"

Freddie quietly pat John's back in an endearing manner as he brushed past to head for the door, a spotaneous gesture that caught Monica's eyes.

But Veronica's hand on her shoulder distracted her, "You should see the plastic tree that we got this year, it looks so authentic!"

"Really?" she forced a smile as she took another sip, their spouses walking unusually silently ahead of them.

"Even on christmas they'd be planning songs on their next album" Monica thought.

The woman nodded, "It was an absolute ordeal cleaning up all those fallen pine needles in the past... and Laura was crawling through them on her first christmas, the poor thing!"

"Ooohhh, yeah!" Monica instinctively grit her teeth, and responding with the first thing that came to mind, "Goliath climbed up ours one morning and knocked it down"

"All my favourite tree ornaments broken" Freddie murmured ahead of them as John and Veronica giggled.

"You know that you would've killed Johnny and Roshni by now if it was them" Monica took a larger gulp, trying to lighten the mood.

Instead, she recieved an irritated glance as he paused at the entrance to the sitting room, sending a sharp shudder along her spine.

"Don't know what that was all about... I didn't know that losing to his own daughter at a game of computer-simulated Pong was such a big deal" her feet dragged her to the armchair that John was pointing to the grey fabric armchair in the centre of the cosy scandi style room, the glistening faux christmas tree by the window as the door shut behind her.

*****

A few hours had gone by, and by now all the adults in the Deacon household had grown much more merry from the numerous glasses of wine consumed...

All except Monica, who had to drive her family home and therefore refused any other glass of wine offered to her.

She looked to the clock on the mantle piece, then to Freddie who was now slouched in his chair and eyes growing heavier from the dubious amounts of alcohol getting him through the afternoon. The conversation had lead from one topic to another until there was practically nothing left to talk about.

"What was it that you were thinking of doing for New Years? Scotland?" Monica asked, sipping yet another cup of tea, the only beverage safe to drink.

But Freddie had no interest in travel, unless the destination that was the talking point was Japan.

"Edinburgh for Hogmany.... we're stopping at Leicester to see my mum" John nodded.

"And we're hoping to see the firework display at the castle" Veronica reached over to hold his hand, her other arm holding Joshua as she nursed him.

"Edinburgh is a beautiful city, I went there once on a school trip" Monica noticed.

"Did you? How old were you?" John asked as she reached over to take Freddie's hand.

"It's getting late, I'll start looking around for the two imps" he snatched his hand back and stood up before Monica could answer John's question, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"There's no rush..." she trailed off, realising that he was just using an excuse to duck out of the conversation.

But Freddie had stumbled out the door and to the hall, gravitating towards the staircase where the children had sounded from above.

Monica looked to the Deacons sitting across from her, the suckling sound of the baby feeding from the bottle and the pitter patters of small feet above only heightening the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry he was being a bit of a Scrooge today" ashamed, she broke eye contact.

Veronica stared at her baby, whereas John empathetically answered, "I understand what he's going through"

"Going through? What is there that he can possibly be going through?" Monica heard herself mutter.

"This hasn't been the best year for Queen, I'm sure you know" he squeezed Veronica's hand.

"Surely he would've told me by now that was getting to him" she looked at her hands folded on her lap.

"Your man is a perfectionist, you know... he took it harder than I" John tried to put her at ease.

"Maybe he doesn't want to be tormenting you with it" Veroncia added.

"I know, but whatever the hell is up his arse he better let it out because it ruins christmas for everyone when he tries keeping it in" Monica suddenly gushed, putting her finger to her lips when she realised she swore in front of the infant.

"Oh, it's alright" Veronica assured her, patting the boy's head.

"It's not... you prepared us all a delicious lunch and your children-oh your lovely children are such wonderful playmates to Johnny and Roshni and here Freddie is in an ungreatful strop" she spoke into her knuckles as she leaned on the arm rest.

The Deacons sat in silence, even though Monica longed for them to say something no matter how awkward it was. Anything to diffuse the tension and her embarassment.

Just in time, a not so happy Johnny Bulsara ran into the room.

"Mummy, daddy says it's home time and I never got to play on Robert's Atari yet!" He complained, a sour expression on his face.

"Did you not?" Monica stood up off her seat and took his hand.

"Roshni won't get off! She's been playing Boulder Dash on it for aaaaages!" he whined, tugging her arm to the door.

"Where is daddy? Maybe he can convince her to get off and let you have a go" she kindly suggested as they walked into the hall.

But Freddie slumped out of the living room door across the hall in defeat, shaking his head, "It's no use, Monica. It's grown on her, I can't bloody get her off!"

Robert, Michael and Laura Deacon stood watching from the top of the stairs, "Will you play Hide and Go Seek with us Johnny?"

"It's time for Johnny and Roshni to go home now," Veronica reappeared, gently rocking Joshua in her arms, "Robert, run a bath for Laura and Michael, will you?"

He nodded, and Michael complained, "I don't want a bath!"

Robert sighed and gestured him, "Wave goodbye and come on, do what mum says!"

The three of them waved goodbye to Johnny before disappearing, and Monica crept to the door open just a crack, and peered in to find the back of her daughter sitting cross-legged in front of the 8bit game on the television as electronic synth filled the room.

"Roshni, love?" she called out softly.

But the black tousled hair didn't flinch once, ignoring her mother as she continued to pass the level with determination.

"Roshni, get off that at once! We have to go home soon!" her voice firmed into a tone of authority, cheeks reddening.

"NO!" was the stubborn response that she got back.

Monica helplessly looked behind her, not wanting to make a scene. Johnny stomped his feet impatiently, waiting for his impossible turn as Freddie's jaw twitched, his hands balled into fists.

"I wanna play Boulder Dash!" Their son noised as he struggled under his mother's grip.

Monica turned to Veronica and shook her head, flustered, "I am really sorry about this"

"Not to worry, our Michael and Robert are the same" the woman chuckled, although Freddie and Monica didn't find it funny at all.

"Why don't we pretend that there is a power outtage?" John whispered, and a mischevious grin was forming on his face.

"How?" Freddie hissed as the rest of the group listened in.

"I will run around the back to the electric box and flip the switch. Simple." John crossed his arms.

"Simple?!" Freddie stropped, even though everybody else gave a rouse of approval.

"Really? It's basic electronics, Freddie!" Monica said.

"You know I can't plug in an iron or use a microwave" he argued back.

"I wanna play Boulder Dash, mummy!" Johnny tried to tug the skirt of Monica's dress, but none of the adults seemed to be listening.

"Listen, leave the electronic stuff to me, alright?!" John whispered.

They all nodded, Veronica running upstairs to alert her children as Freddie picked a protesting Johnny up.

Smugly, Monica leaned into the door crack again and spoke, "Alright, Roshni, we'll leave you here at the Deacons all night if you want"

"Yeah, please..." the little girl didn't listen, her eyes glued to the screen,

Everyone in the building except John, who was going out and round the back to the fuse box, disperesed and resumed to their original positions, as if to be carrying on with life until suddenly, the Deacon Household was plunged into pitch black, with only the already lit candles here and there for light.

All the kids screamed from the bathroom upstairs, and infant Joshua started bawling in his mother's arms. Sitting on the bottom step in the dark, Monica waited until she heard her daughter's wails on the other side of the door as the rest of the household put on their best confused chatter.

"I'm coming! Not to worry!" she got up off the step and went into the living room.

Luckily the light from outside was spilling across the carpet and onto Roshni's dismayed figure, her arms reaching out, "Mummy, it's dark!"

Monica bent down to pick her up, and lied, "That's because you were playing on that thing for too long, it caused all the lights to trip!"

"No it didn't!" Roshni tried to argue.

"Oh, yes it did... and you wouldn't even let Johnny have a go!" she carried her out, "Just as well it's going-home time now"

"Not to worry, we can get more candles.... just watch your step!" John reappeared, playing along and lifting their coats off the rack on the wall by the front door.

"Robert, sweetheart, get the door for them, would you?" Veronica ordered her eldest son gently as she rocked Joshua to calm him down.

The fair haired boy nodded and zig-zagged through the dark, and more streetlight from outside spilled across the hall.

"Thank you so much for having us on Boxing Day... and preparing a meal for twice the amount of people!" Monica set Roshni back down so that she could help put her childrens' coats back on.

"Oh, nonsense, we're glad to use up yesterday's leftovers" John held the door open, and although Monica couldn't see it she could tell he was smiling.

"Monica, darling, it's nippy out there" Freddie noticed that she was digging through her bag for her keys instead of putting her coat on.

"I'll be fine, this way I will be wide awake when I drive home... unlike the rest of my passengers" she hinted at Freddie's sobriety, rubbing a sullen Roshni's head.

"Well, whatever works for you then" he grumbled as he buttoned Johnny up.

"Mummy, I need to go to the toilet" she heard the little boy squeak as she was about to step outside.

"Me too" Roshni followed.

"Oh, for god's sake, all because you were sitting playing that bloody game!" Freddie ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"You can use the one under the stairs, I'll go get a flashlight" John disappeared through the dark corridor, still pretending that the power was out.

But Monica already felt drizzle falling on her, "Darn! I forgot that it was meant to rain tonight!"

"You go get the car, I'll take them upstairs" Freddie ordered.

"Okey dokey..." she barely finished her sentence as he took Johnny and Roshni's hands and lead them away.

He walked off and ignored her when she was still speaking for the second time that evening, leaving her standing alone on the open doorway as she scoffed.

"Bye, everyone," she swallowed as she called out through the house, feeling the car keys in her hand, "Enjoy Edinburgh!"

A series of goodbyes from the Deacons chimed back at her simultaneously as she stepped out the door as the precipitation started to pick up.

"Well, be thankful is rain and not snow or hail... although a white christmas would've been nice too" she scurried down the street, watching the rain drops increasing in size as they hit the cobble stones, her fingers numbing in the wind.

Was it then she realised that Freddie's advice to put her coat on was valuable, but she ducked into the sheltered side street where her trusty Austin Maestro was parked.

"Brazil is two weeks away... two weeks away..." she repeated in her head the trip that she'd been longing to go on all winter, "Sun, sea, blue skies..."

Queen were continuing The Works tour by beginning their South America leg in Rio De Janerio where an exciting new rock festival happened to be taking place, and Freddie made sure that his head of finances, Mary Austin, booked tickets back in November for his family to come along and to "see it as an early christmas present, my dear", despite Monica insisting that they both had school.

With a sigh, she switched the engine on and moved away, pulling up to what was currently the darkest house on the street where she could just about see Johnny and Roshni's short figures standing under the lamplight.

John opened the pavement-side back door for them, helping them get settled onto their booster seats and their seatbelts on and amicably ruffling their hair before giving Monica a small wave, "Thank you for visiting"

She waved back as she shot him a small smile, "Thank you so much, we must have you over next time"

"Can you bring the Atari with you?" Roshni chirped in excitedly.

John chuckled, "We'll see"

"If he does bring the Atari you have to let Johnny have a go on it this time, young lady" Monica raised a brow as she peered into the back seat.

"Yeah!" Johnny shot at her.

"Oh, alright" Roshni stubbornly oblidged.

The two adults shared a chuckle, and Freddie stepped out of the shadows in his brown leather jacket.

"Safe home... and have a happy new year" John quickly slammed the car door, and quickly rushed back to his house where his bandmate was waiting.

They talked for a good minute, but Monica couldn't hear what they were talking about over the hum of her car engine and Johnny and Roshni arguing about whose turn it was to go on the Atari next.

Through the passenger window covered in rain droplets and slightly fogged with condensation, she watched as they paused. Freddie opened his arms, and John willingly stepped in and hugged him back as he closed his eyes as if to absorb every second of that moment. As each second of that friendly embrace under the mistletoe hanging on the doorway and warmth of the street lamplight passed, Monica realised that one was confiding in the other about something. Freddie only gave her or her children embraces for that length of time, ones that were long enough to heal.

Eventually they broke away, exchaning a friendly wave before the front door shut. Freddie took a moment to adjust the wreath hanging above the door knock, stepped away, and once he was out of shelter he ran back into the car and out of the rain.

He jumped into the passenger seat, "Right, drive on"

"What am I, your chauffeur? Honestly!" Monica shook her head as she put the handbreak down.

"Please, sorry" he groaned as he leaned against the window, and with an approving nod she drove away.

It wasn't long before one of the two piped up in the back seat.

"Can we get an Atari one day?" Roshni asked.

"If we do get one will you promise to share with your brother?" Monica kept her eye on the road.

"And will you get off of it when we tell you to?" Freddie leaned over and looked into the backseat.

"Yeah... but only sometimes" the girl closed her eyes with a smirk.

"Then I will tickle you... really, really hard" Freddie threatened playfully.

"And if I don't let go of the remote?" she crossed her arms.

"Well in that case, you better show me where the fuse box is for next time" Freddie leaned into Monica's ear and murmured.

"Not a good idea, I'm afraid that you'll stick a fork in it or something" she spoke cooly as she shifted gear, hands tensing on the steering wheel.

Johnny cackled at such a silly thought, whereas Roshni opened one eye, "What are you talking about, mummy?"

"Nothing, darling. Mummy's just worried that you'll cause another power cut" Freddie lied through gritted teeth as he settled back into his seat, taken aback by Monica's hostility.

She could feel the chilling, brown-eyed glare next to her, but she wasn't going to let it falter her drive home. After all, she left the Deacon household wth too many questions on her mind.

*****

Garden Lodge, that night

"I don't know about you but I think that the stuffing in Veronica's Turkey is disagreeing with my stomach" Freddie strolled out of the en suite in only his underpants, dressed for bed as he dabbed his face dry with a flannel.

"Take a panadol or something, you'll be grand," Monica hastily combed out her stubborn, tangled curls as she sat on her side of the mattress, flinching each time she yanked at a knot, "Oww!! This is the last time that I will be using hot rollers for a while"

"Hmmm" he stared at the pill box sitting under the lamplight of his bedside table as he sat down.

He opened the lid and swallowed the appropriate one with a gulp of water as Monica tied her brushed out hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, leaving a few wispy brown tendrils that framed her now bare, freshly washed face.

"You don't have any work in the morning, do you darling?" He shimmied under the duvet.

"Nope, not until the morning after" Monica lifted the skirt of her violet dress and peeled her tan-coloured tights down her legs.

Freddie lay on his side and intently watched as she pulled it over her head and got up, unable to read the look on her face. His eyes traced her pale, slender semi-naked body as she walked to her half of the wardrobe and fed each end of the clothes hanger through the neck.

He gripped onto the bedsheets to control himself as she came back over and unclipped her bra, flinging it onto the back support of the upholdtered chair where Oscar was curled up. She lifted her pillow to pull out her long-sleeved baby blue cotton night dress, much to his disappointment, and pulled it on with her back to him for she could feel him stare. How he longed to smooth his hands up her thighs, her buttocks and knead her bare back and slip around the front to fondle her bare breasts-

"It's a pity they're going to Scotland for New Years, I would like to have done something for them... they sacrificed their electricity for ten minutes, for christ's sake!"" interrupting his racy thoughts, Monica walked onto the mattress with her knees as she stretched to the wall to turn the main bedroom light off.

"I know, but maybe I can hold a party or something" Freddie reached to switch his Tiffany lamp off with a tap using one arm, uncurling the other to allow her to settle into his hold.

The second her cheek touched his hairy chest, she felt soothed and safe, and he was seemingly forgiven despite his erratic behaviour earlier in the day.

"Who would come?" she pulled the duvet up to the top of her shoulder.

"I don't know, you can invite your parents if you want" He fixed the blanket above them.

Monica closed her eyes as she felt his arms hold her close as their breathing began to sync. Now that they were both relaxed she felt it was right to seize the opportunity and ask him her burning question:

"So, what were you talking to John about?" she quietly spoke into his chest, trying to sound as natural as possible.

"When?" he giggled at the feeling of her fingertips tracing up and down his collar bone.

"On the door step, while the rest of us were waiting in the car" she yawned.

There was a pause. She felt his hand holding her tense as it gripped her upper arm, and his heartbeated race beneath her ear.

"Oh... he was just wishing me a Happy New Year and that he'd see me in Rio" he answered hesitantly.

"I see... I just find it strange that he'd hug you when you're seeing him again in two weeks, that's all" she whispered.

When she lifted her head she saw him staring at the ceiling, mouth screwed shut and not blinking once.

She sat up a little, "There's something wrong, isn't there? ...With the Deacons, I mean, something he's confiding in you about... When I asked him in Joshua's nursery if he was okay he didn't have anything to say except-"

"The four of us are thinking of going our separate ways, alright?" Freddie let out, speaking louder and more clearly.

In an instant, what John said in the nursery, as well as his hesitancy, had now made sense. It was something that not just he, but Freddie had been keeping from the woman he loved, and Monica could now understand why. A world without Queen would affect anybody associated with it or its bandmembers.

The change of routine would either be significant or unnoticable. Freddie would be at home more, or possibly less. And she couldn't even begin to imagine what he would be doing to keep himself busy, for Queen was something he put so much effort into for years. She would hardly get to see Brian or Roger or John and their familys either unless they arranged to meet up regulary.

"I refuse to believe it... Queen has gone on for so long. You've been going since I was still in school, for heaven sake!" she sat up, dumbfounded.

"It's only a possibility, darling. It's not definite!" she felt him place his hand on her back as he began to list off each contraversy in a rant, "I mean, we have had a shit few years, and we've become a talking point for all the wrong reasons. The sales for our last album are still as atrotious as the last one, apparently we're racist now for performing in Sun City, not to mention that we aren't so popular with North America at the moment... and that's where our biggest revenue has always been!"

"Don't let that stop you! What about this new rock festival in Rio-"

"There's more!" he interrupted, "Roger wants to focus on solo work, as do I, Brian wants to finish getting his PhD with all that alchemy shit he's into-"

"Astrophysics" she heard herself correct him as she stared blankly at the bottom headboard in the dark.

"Whatever," he switched the lamp back on next to him, "John never even wanted to be famous anyway and I... I have some songs I want to finish recording and put out too... the four of us, we've outgrown eachother, don't you see?"

She sat in silence as she heard him rummaging about next to her, and the flick of his cigarette lighter. She looked over to see him staring at the ceiling, expressionless as he took a long drag.

"What will you do then?" she asked, the swirls of tobacco stinging her nostrils.

"We want our own creative control and independence... and I want to make time for my family. I don't think I can organise my life this way anymore... it's not good for Johnny and Roshni" Freddie elaborated, looking at the photograph of them on their first day of school on his bedside.

"Well, if you're not going to be touring at all anymore... or travelling for work, maybe we ought to consider Johnny and Roshni's future too" she laid back down.

"What do you mean? I have! I want them to have a father that is actually around... even if they can be absolute terrors" he reached over and tipped ash into the swarovski crystal tray next to him.

"I mean in terms of education," she said, "I have gone down to the library and done research on different programmes"

"Oh god, the last thing Johnny and Roshni need is one of those bloody Waldorf schools," he blabbered as he inhaled more nicotine, " I hear that half the time, those hippy kids turn into spoiled brats that aren't ready for the world... or worse, dead! The parents probably don't vaccinate their children!"

"Don't you think that you're being a tad judgemental?" she clenched the duvet.

"Well, believe it or not Monica, I want them to get the same education and discipline as every other child in Britain," he sat up as he grew more frustrated, "not have to adhere to a biased cirriculum!"

"I actually was considering a boarding school, a private one like you had, of course," she poured a glass of water from her beside jug, barely noticing Freddie flinch beside her, "You know that one day I am thinking of leaving Theo's production company and maybe applying for jobs in the BBC or-"

"Did you just say boarding school?" he cut across her, setting his cigarette in the tray.

"Yes! What if I am not going to be around either? What if I am the one travelling for work this time?" she took a sip as he sat still, "Anyway, I've found a country house in Ireland"

"Ireland? Where people are getting bombed and massacred, are you fucking mad?!" his voice grew rigid.

"It's not in the North! It's a private prep school in County Meath, over the border in the countryside!" She didn't understand why he was getting defensive, "It takes boys and girls, so at least Johnny and Roshni would be together-"

"They are not going to a boarding school! Not now, not ever!" he seethed across her.

Dismayed and puzzled, she tried to process the conversation they had only a moment before. Only five minutes the atmosphere was cosy yet tense, and gradually it blew up and now there was an even bigger shadow hanging over her than there was to begin with. She felt that her hopes of successfully climbing the career had been crushed.

"But what about me?" her voice cracked when she finally had the strength to speak, "What about the effect it'll have on my employability?"

"Darling, something will work out," he blew smoke into the air above him, "You're in London, aren't you? Only time and fate will tell"

"That's what you said to me almost eight years ago, the morning after our first night together... 'London: The city of opportunity'... guess that was just a lure to keep me around" her thoughts sai sarcastically.

She waited until she heard the crunch of his cigarette as he stubbed it out, and the click of the switch of the lamp as she was plunged back into darkness.

"...You must've given their schooling more thought than I even realised" she chirped, putting her glass back and laying back down in the dark.

"You underestimate me" he exhaled.

"Oh course, because it's all about you," she rolled onto her side this time, away from him, "Sometimes, I don't even think you realise how much I gave up for you"

She knew that those words would be a guilty stab to his heart. His muscular arm resting across the pillow and underneath the crook of her neck tensed as she stared at the dusk peeping beneath the sheer balcony curtains.

"...I just don't want them to resent their parents the way I did" he finally said, resisting his temptation to mould against her.

"Resent you? But you said that boarding school gave you a sense of independence... That's why I suggested-"

"Look, Monica," he interrupted yet again, "when I was younger, I didn't understand why mum and dad sent me halfway around the world... I didn't even get to see them or Kash for summers at a time!"

She panicked, "I considered that too Freddie, I really did-"

"They're getting more affection from their own father than he did at their age."

She bit her tongue until she tasted blood, now that his voice had gone back to sounding calm and docile again.

"I regret being such a cow today, I really do... but now I hope you can understand why" he uncurled his hand in front of her.

"Hmm, right," she slipped hers into his palm, "You are forgiven."

"I didn't say that I was sorry" His voice rose again, lacing his hand with hers.

"Well, then. It's only fair for me to admit that I called you a Scrooge in front of John and Veronica" she felt a simpering smile form on her face.

"You called me a-a what?!" It faltered into a husk as she felt his grip close on her.

"A scrooge," She answered, "Because you talked over me when I was about to answer John's-"

With a growl, he grabbed her and pushed her flat on her back against the mattress.

"HEY! YOU DID IT AGAIN!" She laughed as he rolled her beneath him with a grin, trapping her as he pinned her wrists back.

He buried his face into her neck, inhaling the traces of her perfume left on her skin and hissed, "Mmmm, you really do smell like an irish flower now... did you spray it anywhere else?"

"No, cheeky!" Her face was red hot as he sniffed the pulse points on her wrists.

"You're a really bad liar, dearie" he started kissing her fingers as her heart beat irregularly out of her chest.

She didn't struggle or try to stop him when she saw the lust in his dark eyes as his mouth made its way closer to hers. All it took was a healing kiss, with a few I Love Yous slipping off of their tongues at breaks for air.

"Am I forgiven?" He whispered when they broke, pressing his forehead against hers.

"You already know the answer" she pressed her lips to his nose and slipped her arms around his broad neck, his eyes fluttering closed in intimate bliss...

All her worries about the future were forgotten that night.