Sorry of this chapter is rushed and a little all-over-the-place... but please stay tuned until the end ;) 

Garden Lodge, mid-March, 1986

"Honestly, Phoebe," Monica muttered in agitation as she bent down to the oven to lift a hot dish out from the shelf using oven gloves, "I still can't comprehend why you thought that it was such a good idea to bring Johnny and Roshni to a movie with a talking chicken in it, then take them to KFC right after!"

"I know, and I'm sorry! I thought that Roshni already knew where meat came from!" the poor man defended as stepped back to give her room, apologising for what felt like the thousandth time in the past few days.

Roshni was a newly self-declared vegetarian, much to her mother's dismay. Monica was still blaming Phoebe for having an accidental role in influencing the little girl to change her mind, for she was still having trouble trying to accommodate her daughter's dietary requirements two-days in:

"Well, it better be a phase because this nut loaf was a nightmare to make. She used to only eat chicken when she was a toddler, nothing else!" she nagged as she brushed past him, growing increasingly stressed as she carried the dish across the kitchen.

"The smell of bacon frying from downstairs at breakfast tomorrow morning ought to change her mind" Phoebe suggested, carrying the basket of cutlery as he followed her into the dining room.

"I don't think it'll be that easy," Monica sighed, and stuck her head into the hallway and called through the house, "DINNER'S READY!!"

Within several seconds Johnny and Roshni's excited footsteps pounded across the ceiling above their heads and down the mahogany stairwell whilst they finished laying the table, them not knowing what was going to be in store for them when they sat down to eat.

"No no, we shall be eating in the dining room tonight" their mother instructed them when she went back into the kitchen and saw them sitting at the bench.

"Is somebody coming for dinner?" Roshni asked.

"No," Monica answered her, "It is just a better space for talking, that's all."

Johnny and Roshni looked at each other perplexed, for they rarely ate in the dining room unless their mother or father had guests.

But they obeyed, and exited the kitchen swiftly without suspecting a thing.

"Glass of wine?" Phoebe offered her when he reached the fridge.

Unsurprisingly, a glass of wine would've been wonderful to calm Monica's shaking nerves. However, she was determined to remain level-headed for she could not predict what was about to unfold.

"Not for me, thank you," Monica untied her waist apron, "Better get through this conversation sober"

At last Freddie emerged from the piano room, quietly trudging into the kitchen like a moping teenager.

He was wearing his yellow sweatshirt with the rolled-up sleeves, paired with his light denim jeans; he would've worn a pair of joggers hadn't he had to go to work earlier that day. And his outfit wasn't dissimilar to Monica's either, for she was donning her oversized colour-block pringle jumper tucked into her jeans for the third time that week. She would've made more of an effort regarding what she put on her back, but for the moment she was unemployed and had no reason to leave the house other than to go grocery shopping and to the library. Only this time her trips were in the interest of looking at options for Johnny and Roshni's future rather than her own.

It had also been almost a week since herself and Freddie had an argument about the university letters, and ever since they had discussed a lot about not only their own future but the twins' as well and what she had gathered at the library, for it was mainly her that was carrying out the research. There were some disagreements and recommendations here and there, but they finally came to a conclusion. It wasn't Freddie's most desired solution, nor was it Monica's, which was why they also came with backup plans should the worst ever come to light. And so tonight both parents were about to sit Johnny and Roshni down in the dining room rather than their usual spot at the kitchen table and proclaim their plans to them, however that was going to pan out...

"Well, are you ready?" Monica put her hands in her back trouser pockets.

"I was hoping to maybe have a cigarette first" Freddie looked at Phoebe carrying more food in and out in the background.

"Do you think it can wait?" She awkwardly pleaded, knowing that Freddie could often get agitated if he didn't have his nicotine fix soon enough.

"Alright then..." he spun on his heels to leave, but paused, "Actually, can you do all the talking? Only I'd probably fuck it up"

"But you're their father, Freddie," Monica frowned, "You have to do your share too, we mutually agreed-"

"Yes, I know we did," He flatly burbled across her, getting increasingly edgy, "but you're the one who wants to go to university. This is what you want for them, not me."

Monica exhaled sharply, knowing that there was no use in arguing with him, "So basically I have to bear the brunt of it all then, okay..."

She continued heading for the dining room when his voice stopped her, "And, one more thing"

Monica looked over her shoulder, "Yes?"

Freddie's voice purred, but in a way that still lacked warmth, "...Maybe get it over with quickly, like putting a suffering animal out of its misery"

"Delightful," she sarcastically griped under her breath, "I take back what I said about the glass of wine now."

"Would you like me to be there too?" Phoebe asked suddenly, for he had already been briefed on what was going to commence.

"What do you think?" Monica knowingly looked to Freddie.

Instead of answering he wordlessly shrugged at Phoebe, before he walked past him and into the lowly lit dining room where his children were waiting.

"I'll take that as a yes" poor Mr Freestone thought aloud, following him in.

Freddie took a seat at the top of the table, essentially establishing himself as the man of the house that he was, whilst Monica sat across from the twins and Phoebe sat on the chair next to the doorway, should he ever be needed.

The three adults could feel the tension in the atmosphere amongst them was thick, and Johnny and Roshni's expectant, wide-eyed stares weren't helping either.

Monica reached over to lift the serving spoon dunked in the buttered green vegetables, "Should we eat first, or..."

"Eat before what?" Johnny asked, wondering why they were waiting to be served.

That was when Monica intuitively realised that there was no better opportunity to start the conversation than here.

"As you and your sister probably know," she began, putting the serving spoon back, "your father and I had a talk earlier this week while you and Phoebe were away at the cinema."

"Was it a loud talk?" Roshni asked.

"No no," she lied, "It was just about things that him and I will have to do-"

"What sort of things?" Johnny interrupted her.

"Well, you both know how you want to become something when you grow up, don't you?"

They both nodded.

"And you know how daddy wanted to be a Rockstar when he grew up, and part of the job is that he goes away for a while and plays his music around the world almost every year," she described, "As for me, in September I plan to start going to a special type of school for adults called University where I might have to start doing a lot of homework, like you two."

"You're too old to be doing homework!" One of them piped up.

"Nobody is too old for homework," Monica chuckled gently, "Anyway, when I go to university one of the main problems is that your father and I will be far too busy to look after you both-"

"You and dad?" Roshni talked across her, confused.

"Yes, but please be quiet and listen to me carefully," she firmly ordered, feeling herself growing irritated the more and more they both interrupted, "Johnny, are you listening as well?"

Johnny was fidgeting at his seat when he straightened up to attention, "Yes, mum"

Monica folded her arms and leaned forward, "The thing is, we aren't going to be at home enough to mind you. Therefore, we have come up with a solution"

The twins were obediently silent and awaiting, kicking their legs impatiently. Monica looked to Freddie, seeking his support and input, but he remained tight-lipped at the top end of the table as he said he would.

Finally, Monica dropped the bomb, "Next year... your father and I plan to take you out of your current school and send you both to boarding school."

"Boarding school?" Roshni exclaimed.

Monica nodded and finished her sentence, "Mmhm. It's just a small one, in the countryside in Ireland"

"Ireland?!" Johnny's jaw dropped in disbelief, "That's halfway around the world!"

"Nonsense, it's a 50-minute plane ride across the sea!" Phoebe told him.

Then, knowing that boarding school was the last place that Freddie wanted to send his children, he glanced over to his boss who already had his head in his hands, thinking that this was turning into a slow car crash.

Meanwhile Monica seemed rather optimistic in comparison, "On the easter holidays next week whilst daddy is in Munich, I'm going taking you both to visit the school on the way to granny and granddad's new house. It's a manor building just outside a village called Kells and it has a large, green playground outside it with lots of trees, unlike your old schools! Isn't that exciting?"

"No, I don't want to go!" Johnny shouted back, losing patience.

"Me too!" Roshni followed.

"Be quiet and listen! You'll get to meet the headmaster, and he is a very nice man," Monica ordered and continued amidst their protests, trying to hide the fact that she was struggling, "He will give us a tour of the classrooms where you will be learning new subjects and the dormitories where you'll be sleeping-"

"I SAID DON'T WANT TO GO!" her son repeated across her, louder.

To which his mother replied, "But it's too late now. We've already enrolled you both and you'll be going in September-"

"NO!!" The twins unanimously replied in outrage.

"Just you wait, it'll be like an adventure!" Phoebe tried to help her convince them when he realised that Freddie wasn't going to help.

But Johnny and Roshni had their minds made up, panicking as they felt as though their world and their home and everything that they knew was crumbling around them.

Roshni was already seeking for the blame, accusingly pointing to her brother, "This is all your fault!!"

"Roshni!" Monica scolded her, "This is not anyone's-"

"How is it my fault mum and dad want to send us away?!" Johnny was visibly outraged.

"Because everybody knows you're an idiot" Roshni taunted as she folded her arms.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Johnny lunged at his sister, grabbing her by her black curly hair.

Roshni screamed and started throwing flimsy punches and hits at him in defence.

"Johnny, get off!" Monica snapped, getting out of her seat whilst Phoebe flocked over to help her keep the peace.

But Roshni had managed to drag her brother off his seat before they could pull them apart, and soon enough the twins were wrestling under the table.

Thier mother looked to Freddie pleadingly to intervene with an extra pair of arms, but he still silently and blankly stared at his lap.

Johnny screamed whilst they continued viciously scrapping at each other like a pair of dogs, "MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO PERFECT AND ATTENTION-SEEKING THEN YOU WOULD BE LESS ANNOYING!"

"I'D RATHER BE PERFECT THAN BE STUPID AND DIFFICULT LIKE YOU!" Roshni fired in return, dodging Phoebe and Monica's frantic grabbing hands, "EVEN DADDY CANNOT STAND YOU SOMETIMES!"

"I... HATE YOU!!" Johnny screeched as he struggled under his sister's grip.

"I HATE YOU TOO AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO IRELAND WITH YOU!!" His sister yelled back at him.

"ME NEITHER-"

"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRATS!" A male voice suddenly boomed.

Angry one moment and frozen in terror the next, Johnny and Roshni allowed themselves to be ripped apart from each other and dragged into the arms of either their mother or Phoebe.

Monica watched in trepidation as Freddie slowly stood up, fuming and fists clenched as he towered over the dinner table:

"DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU BOTH ARE?!" He shamelessly roared at them both as they trembled with fear, "YOUR GRANDPARENTS SENT ME OVER THREE THOUSAND MILES AWAY TO INDIA, AND I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN FOR YEARS AT A TIME! WE ARE DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN BLOODY GOOD!"

He ignored Johnny and Roshni both sobbing in Phoebe and Monica's arms as he turned around and stormed out of the dining room and out the back door via the kitchen, being sure to grab his Bic lighter and box of cigarettes from Phoebe's shoulder bag sitting on the sideboard before slamming the door closed after himself.

Oh, how he resented his baby for dying and triggering all of this. How he resented Monica for being so selfish and inconsiderate in so many ways. How he resented his own two children for showing no gratitude whatsoever...

*****

In the twins' en-suite bathroom upstairs, Phoebe was gently cleaning the blood off of a tearful Johnny's burst lip with a damp clean flannel as the boy sullenly sat on the toilet seat.

"That little girl can certainly pack a punch" Mr Freestone thought to himself, "Perhaps she was the one who inherited the boxing gene from her father"

It had been twenty minutes since the twins fought one another before Phoebe and Monica broke them both apart and dragged them to separate parts of the house. As if the atmosphere couldn't get worse the cats were hiding in different places, for the commotion and raised voices had frightened them as well. Freddie had also not re-emerged since then, thus leaving a dreadful gap of uncertainty to follow.

Out of nowhere, Johnny snivelled incomprehensibly, "I-I don't hate her..."

"I beg your pardon?" he murmured.

The boy spoke up more clearly, "I said I don't hate Roshni!"

At that moment Freddie was returning upstairs from having a cigarette in the Piano room to cool himself down and regain his temper, his beloved kitties hiding underneath or behind furniture in the corridor at the sight of him.

When he happened to be passing the twins' bedroom, and he heard the distraught in the tone of his son's raised voice. So, he stopped to listen...

Phoebe lowered the cloth, and lifted the boy's chin, "I know you don't hate her. We all deliberately say things that we don't truly mean to hurt people sometimes. Roshni did the same when she called you an idiot"

"She's right anyway." Johnny muttered, disheartened.

"No, she isn't" Phoebe automatically responded.

"Yeah, she is!" The boy rubbed his wet eyes, "And she was right about what daddy thinks of me too."

As much as Freddie didn't want to listen anymore, he also couldn't turn away from the conversation any longer at this point and was itching to hear more.

Phoebe took a piece of tissue from the toilet roll on the wall holder and started drying his wet cheeks, "She only said that to wind you up, Johnny. You don't actually know what your dad thinks"

"Then why did he say that I wasn't very bright?" Johnny morosely wept.

"Oh come on Johnny, that was weeks ago. Get over it!" Freddie wanted to exclaim as he rolled his eyes to himself, but at the same time he didn't want to risk breaking cover.

"He didn't say that, did he?" Phoebe uttered, genuine disbelief in his tone.

"He did! When mum and dad were arguing at bedtime once, dad said that I wasn't the brightest bulb and mum got annoyed at him" the boy sobbed.

Phoebe kindly alluded, "At least mummy knows he is wrong, doesn't she?"

"He didn't know I heard him say it, and he didn't even say sorry to me!" Johnny murmured resentfully, "Why do grown-ups think it's okay to act like they're right all the time?"

"He's actually very wise for his age in some ways, isn't he?" Phoebe thought, but earnestly told him, "Some grown-ups say things they don't mean as well, and it gets harder for them to admit to it"

Johnny declared, "...I'll miss you if I have to go, Pheebs"

At last, hearing those words was enough to make Freddie realise that it was too late to apologise.

He involuntarily made his way towards the master bedroom suite before he could hurt himself more. But it was such a pity that Freddie fled so soon, for Phoebe has this to say next:

"I'm going to miss you too," he earnestly told the boy as he held him, then pulled away, "But you listen to me carefully. Even if it doesn't seem like it at times, your dad really loves you and is going to miss you even more than I will. The boarding school is a very good school, and he wouldn't send you to it if he didn't think that you were smart enough for it."

Johnny sniffed, "You think so?"

"I know so. Now," He climbed back onto his feet and held out his hand, "Why don't we look for your sister and apologise?'

Meanwhile in the master bedroom, Monica gradually ran her Denman hairbrush through Roshni's dishevelled hair as she now calmly sat on her lap in front of the mahogany vanity mirror, gently trying to untangle her daughter's ebony curls one by one under the warm light of the dressing table lamp.

"Why did you have to say all of those hurtful things to your brother, sweetheart?" she softly asked after a while.

Roshni didn't answer, staring straight back into the mirror with brows knotted together whilst her lower lip stuck out, trying not to wince every time the bristles tugged on a knot. Her arms were tightly folded and her back hunched slightly, making it a little harder for her mother to run the brush through her hair.

Monica too stared back into their reflection in the mirror, thinking about how she and Roshni sat in the very same spot last summer in much happier circumstances as they got ready to head to Live Aid.

"We wouldn't even have dreamt of sending them away like this back then... of course the miscarriage didn't help matters, but how did we let it all bubble down to this?"

Freddie's words from boxing night in 1985 were also still burned into her memory, "They are never going to boarding school! Not now, not ever!"

Those words, and what had just occurred at the table left Monica thinking that perhaps he was right, and that she herself was the cause of this. She went into the dining room hoping to give herself and her family a fresh start, however instead she got her hopes up and ended up ripping them in half.

But if there was one thing for Monica to be proud of it was the fact that she didn't need alcohol to get through it.

The slider doors opened without warning, in walked Freddie's sombre figure.

Monica watched him tread into the room from the reflection of the mirror and awkwardly sit down on the corner of his Queen-size bed. Fortunately for him, the temperature in his bedroom was more bearable than back in the twins' room.

But she kept silent the whole time, knowing that he longed for some form of acknowledgement and forgiveness that he didn't deserve.

Monica waited for him to settle before she tried asking her daughter again, "Why did you blame Johnny?"

"Because it's true!" Roshni stubbornly whinged, "He's always getting into trouble! Anyway, he was the one who told me where all of my favourite meats come from"

"That's just a fact that meat comes from animals, not his fault! And he's doing much better in school nowadays, this has nothing to do with him" her mother reasoned.

"Then why are you sending us both away?" Roshni turned to face her, feeling let down by her own parents.

Just then, as Monica was at a loss for words, Johnny sulkily appeared hand in hand with Phoebe at the bathroom doorway.

"Well, I hope you've come in to apologise to your sister, young man" she turned to him, changing the subject.

"No!" he stomped towards his mother with an even sourer pout when he saw Roshni and his father in the same room.

"Now now, Johnny" Phoebe warned as he watched from the doorway.

"Alright then," the boy climbed onto Monica's other free lap as he half-heartedly said, "Roshni, I'm sorry for pulling your hair and saying that I hate you"

"Good," their mother approved, "And do you have something you'd like to say, Roshni?"

Roshni truthfully murmured, "I'm sorry for being mean, I didn't mean anything that I said"

"I'll reheat the dinner below" Phoebe turned away and left them, keeping himself busy.

Monica thanked him before she remarked Johnny's bloodied lip, as well as the expression of hurt still visible on his face, "Now do you see the damage that you and your words have done?"

Her daughter reluctantly nodded in shame, refusing to make eye contact.

"And Johnny, I'm disappointed in you for using violence on your sister," Monica gently affirmed, and began to clarify, "When you two go away to Ireland you are both going to have to be there for each other. So that means that you cannot keep on fighting or being mean to one another all the time, is that clear?"

"Mmphmm" they simultaneously huffed, but still patiently listening.

Freddie craned his neck towards them as he still snooped, for even though he was in the same room as them Monica's voice was so low, tender and hushed.

"I was trying to explain to you both earlier the reason why daddy and I are doing this," her tone firmed slightly to stress the importance of her words, "I know it's hard enough on you both when daddy isn't around, so it's going to be even harder for you when I'm not around either"

"What kind of harder?" one of them asked.

"Well, if I'm not there then there'll be nobody to collect you and Johnny to and from school, nobody to help you with your homework, no food in the oven, nobody to kiss you goodnight..."

"Why can't Phoebe look after us then?" Johnny innocently asked.

Freddie squirmed where he sat as Monica answered, "Phoebe won't be there either. His job is to primarily mind your dad, not you."

"So, it isn't anybody's fault then? It's just... bad luck?" Roshni thought aloud.

"Of course not, nor is it bad luck either!" her mother chuffed, "This is not a punishment, it's just destiny my love"

"You aren't sending us there forever, are you?" Johnny asked with such dread.

Hadn't he felt so remorseful, Freddie would've found the way that he asked that so melodramatically funny. But instead, he sat and continued to eavesdrop on Monica working her magic as he bit his lower lip hard to stop the tears from flowing.

She assured Johnny, "Not at all, this is only temporary"

"What does that mean?" Roshni chirped.

"That it won't be like this forever, only for a short while" her mother answered kindly.

"How short?" Johnny anxiously enquired.

Monica uneasily replied, "Maybe one term only... or perhaps a year"

He exclaimed, "I don't want to stay there for a year!"

"Yeah! What if we can never ever come home again?" his sister panicked, "What if we never see you again?"

"You will come home again! September is six months away anyway. We have all the time in the world until then," Monica explained as positively as she could, "We'll try and bring you home as often as possible on dates like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, bank holidays... if daddy is on tour at the same time, then we can go meet him wherever he is."

Roshni pressed doubtfully, "But who's gonna mind Luke and Leia Skywalker for us?"

"We will, of course," her mother chuckled, "Besides, they'll be around 21 in cat years in September, all grown up and able to mind themselves for the most part."

"But we've only just made friends here, like Milo" Johnny reminded her.

He certainly wasn't wrong. After all, they had only been at their current school for just over a year, and both parents didn't want to keep them too unsettled.

"You can keep in touch with Milo and still make new friends," Monica encouragingly suggested, "Your classmates will come from other countries across the world such as Brazil, Canada, Kenya, Japan, Australia... they will be away from their mums and dads as well, so they will be just as nervous and homesick as you are"

A pause of hesitance and uncertainty followed within the next few seconds.

"Listen, I know it's a big change for us all," she quietly told them, "But think of what Pheebs said; it's a new adventure for you both, you're going to have so much fun!"

Freddie looked over to his family all huddled onto that stool, the two of them glumly curled up in Monica's arms on her lap with their faces buried into their mother's shoulders for comfort whilst she continuously rubbed their heads.

It wasn't often that he got to see the woman he loved being so sincere and compassionate with their children. He shyly smiled to himself knowing that perhaps the sun wasn't going to set on a divided Garden Lodge household after all, and it was all thanks to her.

"What difference does it make if she is cruel enough to rip them away from me?" he concluded, "It's not like I'm not away from Johnny and Roshni a third of every year of their lives anyway"

"If the school canteen will only make me eat meat and fish, then I'm not going" Roshni crankily declared after a while, this time a little more convinced.

"I'm sure that something can be arranged with the school cook beforehand.... that is, unless you have given up on the whole vegetarian thing by then?" Monica smirked.

The girl hesitated, but staunchly answered, "Nope, never again."

"I better get the top bunk in my dormitory as well" Johnny said, cheering up a little.

"Why don't you bring a Union Jack with you and claim it before anyone else does?" Monica joked, "That's what the brits are good at doing after all"

Before long, a shadow descended upon the three of them:

Freddie kneeled in front of his family to their height, and began, "I shouldn't have shouted at you both like that at the dinner table"

Johnny and Roshni looked away from him, visibly dismayed.

Despite that, Freddie no longer bore any ill will towards the people he loved, and now felt truly remorseful for his words and actions within the last half an hour.

He swallowed the growing lump in his throat and sincerely continued to speak his mind, "You two don't have to forgive me anytime soon, or ever for that matter, because a father should never speak to his own children the same way that I just did"

It didn't surprise Monica that he couldn't directly say those two little words of 'I'm sorry'. But she hadn't seen him be so honest with his own children since his tearful apology to his toddler daughter all those years ago when he blew up at her for accidentally breaking one of his favourite vases.

Roshni was the first one to make a move, climbing off her mother's lap and reaching up to hug him in her own wordless gesture of forgiveness.

"Oh my baby girl, I will miss you when you go" he cooed into his daughter's freshly brushed soft curls as he held her tight, a warm feeling of love and reassurance taking over his body.

Johnny, however, shrunk back into Monica's warmth and hid his face in her again.

Monica looked up as Freddie's face contorted in the pain of rejection over Roshni's shoulder, and somewhat sympathised with him.

So, she asked their son, "What are you doing, sweetheart?"

Johnny spoke into her ear, "I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet, mummy"

Freddie looked away in shame, thinking, "Monica was right about making up with him, now he thinks I'm a monster"

But rather than force Johnny to change his mind or reprimand him, Monica advised him instead, "That's alright. But even if dad did hurt you, you really should try to forgive him before you go to Ireland otherwise it will hurt more later... He does love you, you know."

"Everyone keeps saying that, but I will believe it when I see it" the boy bitterly grumbled, folding his arms.

She uneasily laughed to herself, but agreed, "Maybe you can't see it right now, Johnny. But even though you don't have the power to change the past, you do have the power to forgive."

But of course, Monica would say something in that effect to her own children, for she herself was an incredibly forgiving woman. Just by saying that she once again reminded Freddie of how she forgave him on so many occasions throughout their relationship; for accusing her of infidelity when she was in fact pregnant, for ruining her 24th birthday, for putting their wedding hold for so long and so much more just because she loved him immensely.

But now it was time for her to go out and find herself, for Freddie felt partly responsible for taking that away from her all those years ago when she was just 18. So, the least that he could do was return the favour and let Monica have some form of independence.

"Oh, my Irish flower..." he felt his heart flutter at the thought of her devotion, only for it to be shot down by his guilt from the past 3 months, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Hello again, folks!

Since this is in fact the 100th update of ETYMAM I thought thought that you'd like to meet my creative writing supervisor, named Sid. He makes sure to keep me straight whilst I work on future chapters of ETYMAM by biting my toes or crying for food or toilet breaks:

And I hope that Sid shall continue to do so whilst I write the last 8-12 estimated chapters left as he can be a really great help when he is not snoozing or cleaning his bits, particularly since he has been serving as a muse for my interpretation of Goliath the past few years...

Stay safe and take care xx