The ringing in my ears was so loud, that if he said anything else, I didn't hear him. It was suddenly hard to breath, and each breath I tried to draw in felt like it was being sucked through a tiny hole, not giving me nearly enough air. I was dizzy, and I closed my eyes, praying that this was all just a dream. 

°•°♡°•°

I'm not sure how many minutes passed that I sat there with my eyes closed. I finally opened them, and saw Jimin still sitting across from me, watching me, concern lining his face. 

I licked my lips, drawing in a breath, my chest tightening as I did.

"Please tell me that you're playing a sick joke on me for being such an asshole to you," I said quietly. "I won't even be mad at you if you are."

The expression on his face never changed, he just sat there watching me, his eyes moving over my face, no doubt waiting for me to realize he was serious. 

"So she lied to me when she told me she couldn't get pregnant. What the fuck else has she lied to me about? How do I even really know that it's my baby. Maybe she had other guys that were friends with benefits. Come to think of it, she was pretty easy to get into bed, considering it was her idea."

"Taehyung..." Jimin warned, his voice low, "Don't say that about her. She didn't lie. I know you're probably angry, but I think you need to talk to her."

"No fucking way," I laughed humorlessly, "If she's pregnant, and it's mine, she should be the one trying to talk to me. I'm not going to her. She's the one who decided to tell me she had left Seoul. If it's my baby, why didn't she just tell me as soon as she found out? Why did she have to pretend to disappear? Maybe the real father dumped her, and now she doesn't know what to do, so she's going to try to pin it on me. No, I'm not going to her. Forget it. I can't believe you're falling for her lies-"

"Taehyung shut the fuck up for two seconds..."

I swallowed, looking at him through narrowed eyes. 

"I'm not going to her."

"There's a reason she wanted you to think she left Seoul.

I stared at him, waiting for the rest, but he just stared right back, not saying anything else.

"Care to elaborate?"

He shook his head. "Not really. You should ask her yourself."

"No. I'm not going to her. She'll have to come to me if she wants me to know."

He sighed. "She won't, because she doesn't want you to know. But you should. I'm not playing when I say it's important that you go talk to her. Would you please just trust me?"

I drew in a breath, tired of this whole conversation already. 

"I trust you, but I'm not going to her. Either you can tell me, or I'll just never know. It's that simple."

He closed his eyes, his head falling back, then he quickly looked at me.

"Fine." He picked up his coffee, taking a sip. "I'll tell you. But know this. If you still refuse to go talk to her, you're a bigger asshole than I ever thought you could be."

I shrugged, crossing my arms and waiting for him to continue. 

He took a deep breath, the sympathetic look returning to his eyes.

"Taehyung," he muttered quietly, "Soo Ah is dying."

What did he just say? Because I know I must have misheard him. 

His eyes met mine, and after several tense seconds, he swallowed, his eyes closing, breaking the contact with mine. I continued to stare at him, waiting for him to repeat what he'd just said, so I could hear him correctly.

But he remained quiet, finally looking at me once again, sadness being the only thing I could see in his eyes.

I didn't want to ask him to say it again. I knew I'd heard him wrong. But I still couldn't ask him to repeat it. 

"Tae, she only has five months left to live...maybe. You need to go see her, talk to her. She didn't want you to know, because she didn't want you to have to deal with any more loss, or heartache, and she doesn't think you'll want the responsibility of being a father. She was going to give the baby up for adoption, without you ever knowing you had a child in the world somewhere. She thought that would be the best thing to do, that it would be best if you didn't know anything about her, or the baby."

I thought finding out she was pregnant had nearly stopped my heart. But finding out she was dying, Jimin may as well have ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it right in front of me. 

I was no longer capable of anything. I had suddenly lost the ability to function in any way. It was as if all my senses had been paused, leaving me staring at nothing but white space in front of my eyes. A loud piercing sound filled my ears, and my head felt so heavy I thought it might topple me out of my chair. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder, thought I could hear someone saying my name, but I wasn't entirely sure with the ringing in my ears.

"Taehyung,"

I could barely make it out, but I was almost positive it was my name.

The hand on my shoulder shook me roughly, and I blinked a few times, everything becoming clear around me.

"Tae, snap out of it."

The ringing faded, my vision cleared, and I could feel wetness on my face. I reached up, touching my cheek with my fingertips, and realized I was crying. 

"Taehyung, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wish it could have been the way you were thinking it was. I would rather that she had lied to you, that she had gotten pregnant by someone who'd ended up ditching her, and she was hoping for you to be there for her. That would be so much better than what it actually is. "

I looked up at him, not even having a reply. I had no idea what to say, or do. 

"You don't have much time left. You should go to her. Spend as much time as you can with her. Be there for her. She's scared Tae. She doesn't want to die alone."

My lips parted, and I inhaled and exhaled deeply, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. The tears burned behind my eyes, and I squeezed them closed. I covered my face with my hands, and my whole body trembled, then started to shake as painful cries were ripped from my chest. 

I don't know when Jimin knelt next to me and wrapped his arms around me, but he was there, reminding me to breathe, letting me cry, telling me I had to be strong. I never heard him say it would be okay. He'd never lied to me in all the years we'd known each other. He wouldn't lie to me now, either, by telling me it would be okay.

It wouldn't. It would never, ever be okay.  

☆~☆~☆

As I knelt and put my arms around Taehyung, I finally realized just how much he actually did care for Soo Ah. It was breaking my heart that he would lose someone else that was so important to him. 

He tried so hard to play the part of an uncaring, cold, sarcastic asshole. What he seemed to sometimes forget was that I had known him for years. I knew he wasn't really like that. 

I knew that life had been cruel to Taehyung, taking people from him that he still needed. Honestly, did any of us ever stop needing the people we loved? 

But why him? Why Tae? He'd lost so much in just the past few years. How could God take anyone else from him?

I didn't blame him for being the way he was. I couldn't. I think I would have been the same way had it been me who'd lost their entire family, in an instant. He had every right to be angry. 

Right now, I felt partially to blame for what he was going through. I'd been so sure that he and Soo Ah had immediately clicked that day they'd first laid eyes on each other. Obviously, they had. I'd encouraged him, thinking it would be good for him to have someone who could help keep his mind off everything. 

If I had only known.

I'm sure it would have happened without my encouragement. No matter what the future would bring, I believed they were meant to have the connection they had. 

Maybe Soo Ah's pregnancy, a pregnancy that wasn't supposed to be possible, was God's way of showing Taehyung that miracles can happen. 

He would lose Soo Ah, but he would suddenly be responsible for a life. A life that he would have to nurture. He wouldn't have time to wallow in self-pity, because he would have to be present as a father. 

I hoped he knew that I would be there for him in any way that I possibly could. I knew Jungkook would too. Whatever Taehyung needed to learn to take care of a baby, we would learn with him. We would help him, and we would grieve with him. 

"Breathe Tae, let it out, and breathe. You need to stay strong. Soo Ah will need you."

I didn't know how he was going to handle this. I didn't even know if he could. But it was either be there for Soo Ah, stay by her side, and be present for the birth of their child, or shut himself off from her completely, and let her do what she intended to do from the start.

I knew he was nowhere near ready to be a father. But the choice had been taken from him, and he either had to accept it, or completely walk away from it and forget it had ever been a possibility, and I was 99% sure he wouldn't be able to do that.

He had stopped crying, now just sniffling, trying to wipe the tears from his face with his sleeve. I grabbed a few napkins from the dispenser, and handed them to him, standing, but keeping my hand on his shoulder. I wanted him to know I was here for him. 

He sat quietly, staring out the window, looking lost and confused. I wanted to say something, but I also wanted to give him time to hopefully reach a calm place, and at least begin to try to process everything in his mind. 

A few minutes went by, and he finally looked up at me. 

"What am I supposed to do, Jimin? I'm not ready to be a father. How am I supposed to handle that, by myself? I'm going to lose Soo Ah, and I just don't know if I can do it without her. "

He sounded so broken, so unsure of everything.

"If that's what you decide to do, you won't have to do it by yourself. You'll have Kookie and I to help you. We'll learn together."

He looked at his hands, resting on the table, and my gaze followed his, seeing that they were trembling. I took his hands in mine, trying to still them, and I squeezed them gently, to reassure him that I was right here, that I would be right here, no matter what.

"Do I have a choice, Jimin? I don't know if it's what I want, but it doesn't matter anymore. I can't walk away, not now. I can't let her go through this alone."

"Do you want to walk away? Would you rather if I had never run into her, never found any of this out? If Soo Ah would have given your baby up for adoption, and you would have never known she was gone?"

"I don't know." He closed his eyes. "Actually, I wish none of this was happening at all. I wish I had never seen her standing in the rain across the street. I wish she had never come into the coffee shop at all, and that I'd never come from the back and made eye contact with her. I wish I'd never met her, and that we'd never become friends with benefits. I wish I had never gotten close to her, or started spending time with her."

"I don't think you mean any of that Tae."

"I do, I mean every word of it. Because if none of that had happened, I wouldn't be facing losing the one person who was making a difference, who was bringing happiness into my life. I wouldn't be losing another person I love."