"I won't stop taking pictures of you, and you could never look bad. These pictures are the best gift you could possibly give me, Soo Ah. I want as many pictures of you as I can possibly get, because one day, pictures will be all I have. I want our child to grow up with pictures of you all around, and I want it to feel like you're right here with us. I want pictures that are real, not posed for. I want you to just keep being you, and I'm going to capture every moment I possibly can."

°•°♡°•°

The months passed, and my belly grew bigger and bigger. I felt pretty good, honestly, the only thing that seemed to change was that I was tired, so tired. Not all the time, and not a sleepy kind of tired, but if I walked from the kitchen to the living room, I had to rest. The doctor said that was normal for many women at this stage of pregnancy, and that as long as I took my time, I'd be fine. 

Getting up from any sitting position had become so difficult that I wouldn't have been able to do it anymore if Taehyung wasn't here with me. Thank God there was a toilet and sink in the laundry room off the kitchen. I hadn't even known the room existed when I'd first moved in, and it had taken Taehyung over a month to realize that he hadn't told me.

Tae did the laundry twice a week, and never really used the bathroom in there, because he was used to going upstairs. He said he had kind of forgotten about it, to be honest. But he'd cleaned it up and added some hand towels and soap and toilet paper so that I didn't have to try to go up the stairs every time I needed to pee.

He was still baking at home, and it was still working out well. Jimin had a house key to get in, and he stopped by every morning before work around 5am to grab what Taehyung had made the night before, taking it in and getting it all ready for when he opened. Tae had shown him how to cut the cake, and display it on the plates, and he'd learned pretty quickly all the different ways to present the different kinds of cake, and so far had only had two emergencies, and had called Taehyung to come in and help him.

The shop was still doing well, despite there being no more orders being taken. Many customers had expressed how much they missed being able to place orders for cakes and cookies, but Jimin told them that it would start back up at some point, and to just be patient. They still closed Tuesdays and Saturdays, and they were now sure it would be a permanent thing. They all enjoyed their days off, and had no desire to have it go back to how it had been.

We had the babies room finished, and we'd even gotten accessories, things like a cute lamp with a teal lamp shade, and teal curtains, and some wall hangings. We'd initially decided to wait on those things, until we knew the gender, but after shopping, and seeing all the choices, I fell in love with the teal, and we'd chosen to go with that color, because it was gender neutral. 

There was a beautiful white crib on the wall he had painted gray, and a changing table to match on the adjacent wall. The gray wall was gorgeous, having several white birch trees painted randomly on it, and he had painted birds on the branches in teal. I had no idea Taehyung was so talented, but he'd painted the entire room himself. 

The rocking chair, which was also white, sat in a corner, a fluffy gray area rug underneath it, and a gray and white striped blanket draped over the back. There was a light gray dresser with teal drawer pulls on the other solid wall, and he'd put dark gray blinds on the windows, which contrasted nicely with the white walls. There were light teal sheer drapes tied back with light gray ribbon covering each window. We'd ended up getting a lighter gray paint to do the doors, all the trim and the window sills with, and it had come out really nice.

There was a cute stuffed bear that was rather large sitting in another corner with a big white polka dotted teal bow around it's neck, and he had hung a silver moon and star  between the two windows. 

It was a beautiful room, and I was so happy with it. 

Today was a Friday, so Tae didn't have to bake for the coffee shop later, and we'd planned to just relax and hang out, maybe play a game. He had hooked his game console back up to the TV, because I had gotten bored and complained of having nothing to do.

"Are you hungry baby?"

I looked up, seeing Taehyung walking towards me from the kitchen with a plate in his hand. 

"Are you talking to me, or to the baby?" I asked, smiling at him widely. 

"Both," he responded matter of factly, his brows going up.

He sat next to me on the couch, and handed me half of the sandwich that was on the plate.  I took it, taking a bite and chewing noisily, humming in satisfaction, my eyes closed. When I opened them, his hand was holding a potato chip in front of my mouth, and I leaned forward, taking it into my mouth and sucking the salt off before I chewed it up.

I hadn't had too many cravings, but one that had stuck with me was potato chips. I needed that salty crunch, I just couldn't get enough of it. 

I finished my half of the sandwich, and looked at the rest of his, which was in his hand, his mouth just opening to take a bite. He realized I was staring at it, and I heard him sigh as he brought it to my lips, and waited for me to take a bite.

Once we, or actually I, had finished our lunch, because in all honesty I didn't think he'd even gotten three bites, he cleaned up and came to sit back down next to me, pulling my feet up onto his lap. He wrapped his warm hands around them, rubbing them from my arch to my toes, and I closed my eyes, leaning my head back onto the pillow resting on the arm of the couch and enjoying all the pampering he'd been showering me with. 

Spring had arrived, and with it, there were flowers starting  to bloom. We had made plans to go to the Yeouido Spring Flower Festival tomorrow, and I was excited at the thought. 

It was April 2 today, and the baby was due on April 21st. I could go into labor at any time. I could also die at any time. I was aware of this, but I didn't think Taehyung realized that it could happen exactly that way. It didn't mean it would, but it was possible. It was up to my heart, and whether it decided to just suddenly stop out of nowhere, or it was a gradual process to when it would beat it's last beat.

But I wasn't going to let that knowledge keep me from doing anything. I could walk around, as long as we took our time and I was able to sit when I needed to, and rest. Taehyung never left my side when we were out, and he also knew that I wanted to do as much as I could. I didn't want to sit home and wait for the end. 

But today, we were going to rest, and spend the day at home, and later we would pack up a lunch to take with us tomorrow. Then we would get up in the morning, and get around to go to the festival, so that we could sit and enjoy the bright, colorful blooms that made Seoul so beautiful in the spring. .

I'd had a doctors appointment every month, sometimes twice, and the past month, I'd had one every week, between the obstetrician and my heart doctor. My last days were getting closer, and I knew Taehyung was getting sadder, even though he tried not to show it. He did his best to make me smile every single day, but I knew he was taking it extremely hard, the fact that my time with him was getting shorter and shorter, the days seeming to go by quicker.

He would sometimes go in the bathroom to shower at night, and he would cry. Even though he tried to keep quiet, I could hear him, sobbing, his cries causing my heart to clench painfully. But I would never tell him, I knew he didn't want me to know. He didn't cry in front of me. He tried to be strong for me, even though I knew his heart was breaking.

"Did you want to play Mario Kart?"

I looked at him, sticking my bottom lip out.

"You always beat me when we play Mario Kart. How bout Donkey Kong Country?"

He rolled his eyes, but he smiled and gently moved my legs off his lap so he could get up and set the game up. 

He handed me a controller, and sat with his own, and we spent the next few hours laughing and helping each other clear each level. Of course, I got up 4 times to go pee, but aside from that, it was an enjoyable day.

We finally decided to put the game away, and make dinner, while at the same time packing our lunch for tomorrow. I mostly sat at the table in the kitchen while he prepared the food, and he would bring me some of what he'd been working on to put in containers for tomorrow. 

I packed rice, kimchi, bulgogi, beef and radish soup, garlic stem pickles, and fish cake. He also brought over some roasted seaweed paper to stick in the box. The last thing he brought over was sigeumchi-namal, which is a spinach dish, and one of my favorites.

We ate our dinner, which was pretty much what was left of what didn't get packed for our lunch tomorrow, and then Taehyung started to clean up, rinsing off our dishes and leaving them in the rack to dry. Once the kitchen was clean, we went back into the living room and sat on the couch, and he handed me the TV remote. 

I clicked the TV on, and flipped through the channels, but didn't really see anything that looked interesting. I sighed, leaning my head back on the couch and closing my eyes.

"Do you wanna play the game again?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't know what I wanna do," I whined.

He moved closer to me, pulling me onto his lap, his lips pressed to the side of my head.

"We could go lay in bed, and think of more baby names until we fall asleep."

His suggestion brought a smile to my face, and I nodded. He didn't immediately move, instead wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in closer to his chest, his lips against my ear.

"I love you Soo Ah," he whispered, "I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone."

I could hear the emotion in his voice, even though he was whispering. His hands gripped the fabric of my t-shirt, and he just held onto me, making no move to get up and go upstairs. I let him hold me on his lap, his nose and lips brushing the side of my face, and surprisingly, I could feel his heart beating against my arm that was pressed to his chest.

"I love you too Taehyung." I spoke softly, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

"I'm never going to love anyone else. My heart belongs to you. Only you."

I drew in a breath, trying to think what to say. As much as the thought of him loving another woman hurt me, I didn't want him to be alone for the rest of his life. That wasn't fair to him, and he deserved to find happiness after I was gone.

"Taehyu-"

"No, Soo Ah," he mumbled against my cheek, his lips brushing my skin softly, "please don't ask me to promise you that I'll find someone else. I can't promise you that. I can't imagine my life with anyone else, and I don't want to try. I'll never be happy with anyone else."

"You didn't think you wanted to be with me either, but that changed as we spent time together, and got to know each other." I said gently.

He loosened his hold on me, allowing me to pull back and look at him. His eyes held so much hurt, and sadness. It had been there for months, but he always tried to mask it behind smiles.

"I won't ask you to promise something like that, Tae. But will you at least agree not to push everyone away that you come into contact with. Let people be your friend, don't close yourself off from the world. And if you meet someone that you feel even a slight connection with, don't fight it. Let it grow, if it feels like it might. Can you do that, for me?"

He looked into my eyes, his hands coming up to cup my cheeks, his lips brushing mine gently.

"I'll try..." he whispered against my mouth.

It was all I could ask for. I knew that if someone came along that he was attracted to, and it was meant to happen, it would. But I didn't want him to feel guilty about it. I wanted him to know that it was okay for him to love again, and that I only wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone else.