I missed him. I missed him so much, and I ached for his touch. If I'm honest, I'd give just about anything to be in his arms one more time.

☆~☆~☆

It was the end of November, and the trees were bare of leaves, save one or two that seemed to be holding on for dear life. It was chilly, and I pulled my hood up, trying to block out the wind. It was a Tuesday, and I'd come into the busy part of town to look for a new phone. I'd dropped mine, and cracked the screen, so I decided it was time to just replace the whole thing. I'd had it for 2 years, I was due for an upgrade. 

After stepping inside the store, I'd taken awhile to decide which one I wanted, but after 30 minutes, I picked one that was a definite upgrade from what I'd had. The girl at the counter helped me set everything up, and transfer important stuff from the old one, and once I'd given her practically all the money I had in my pocket, I walked out with a new phone and a smile. 

I pulled my hood back up, and started walking. I was hungry, it was after 7pm and I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so I started looking for a place to grab something to eat. I didn't want fast food, so I kept my eyes opened for a convenience store. They always had so much to choose from and I knew I'd find something good. 

I finally spotted one, and trotted across the street, entering the warm building and looking around for something that I couldn't resist. Once I'd found what I wanted I walked to the counter, setting my items down and digging in my pocket for my money, not even sure how much I had left.

"That'll be 6.76. Would you like a bag?"

"Uh, no thanks." 

I looked up, reaching my hand forward to give her the money, but I quickly jerked it back, my eyes narrowing and my jaw dropping.

"Soo Ah?" I whispered.

"Jimin..." 

"I thought you had moved back to Busan."

She looked worried, a frown appearing on her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, sounding a bit angry.

"I was in the area buying a new phone. I got hungry and wanted something to eat."

She licked her lips nervously. 

"Well, do me a favor, and pretend you never saw me. Don't worry about this, I got it."

She stuffed my items in a bag, and pushed it towards me, urging me to leave.

I shook my head.

"Oh no...I'm not going anywhere until I find out why you haven't let Taehyung know you're back."

"Jimin, just go home, and trust me, it's best if you don't tell him you saw me. 

 "He's been nothing but a fucking nightmare since you left, and if you think I'm not going to tell him you're back, than you might be crazy after all..."

"I never left.." She blurted out, then realized what she'd said, her eyes going wide.

I narrowed my eyes at her, not wanting to believe what she'd just said.

"Jimin, please don't tell him. I'm begging you. I have my reasons for doing what I did. You have to leave, before you get me in trouble. There are camera's recording, I'm going to get yelled at if you don't go."

"When does your shift end?"

Her shoulders dropped, and she let her head fall back in frustration. 

"I'll leave when you tell me when your shift ends."

She pressed her lips together. "Eight."

I looked at the time. It was 7:45pm. 

"I'll be outside."

She closed her eyes. "Fine. But please, don't text him or anything. Give me a chance to explain."

I nodded, and threw money on the counter, grabbing my bag and walking out. 

I stood outside, waiting for her to finish her shift. Fifteen minutes later, she came out the door, bundled up in a warm coat, looking at me with a blank look on her face.

"Lets go to my place. It's too cold to talk out here."

I followed her, and five minutes later, we were going up a set of stairs to a door which she unlocked and stepped through. I followed, closing it behind me, seeing a cozy apartment. 

She turned and looked at me.

"Why couldn't you have been 30 minutes later? I would have already left work."

One corner of my mouth turned up.

"Wow, I've missed you too Soo Ah."

She shook her head, a small smile curving her lips.

"Are you sure you can't just go home, and pretend you never saw me?"

"You wouldn't ask me that if you saw how Taehyung has been the past four months."

I saw a hint of pain flicker across her eyes, and her gaze darted to the floor. 

"I guess I really should have left Seoul. Taehyung is only going to end up getting hurt."

"He's already hurting."

She unzipped her coat, and slipped it off, and as she laid it on the arm of the couch, I stared at her, not sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Her eyes caught mine, and her hands came up to cradle the small bump where her tummy was.

My eyes went wide, and I looked from her hands to her face, and back to her hands.

"Soo Ah...are you...?"

When I met her eyes again, they were filled with tears, and she nodded.

"I'm pregnant, Jimin. "

I could only stare at her, at her stomach, hardly able to believe it. When I could finally form a thought, I asked the only questions that seemed to matter.

"Why are you keeping this from Taehyung? Is it his baby?"

She nodded. "Of course it is."

She sat on the couch, leaning to put her head in her hands. She was silent for several minutes, and I waited, knowing there was more to her answer, but certain it wouldn't be good.

"It's complicated Jimin. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. I had a bad infection when I was a child, and it damaged my reproductive organs. Taehyung and I had a conversation about it. He knew I couldn't get pregnant, so we didn't bother to be careful. I'm sure he'll think I lied to him. He can't know, it'll just...cause more heartache for him, and he's had enough to last several lifetimes."

She wasn't making any sense.

I was so confused. The past four months, Tae has believed that she had gone home to Busan, when in reality, she had been right here, pregnant with his baby, but refusing to tell him. She'd been going through this alone, but I couldn't understand why she'd want to.

"Soo Ah, you have to tell him. He deserves to know. It's as much his baby as it is yours, you can't deny him his rights to it."

She shook her head, her eyes closed as if she were in pain.

"I know you're afraid he'll be angry, and maybe he will, at first. But It'll probably be because you kept it from him for all this time. You can't keep this from him..."

"Jimin, I'm dying."

I stared at her, suddenly finding it difficult to swallow. I knew she was telling me the truth. I could see the fear in her eyes. I closed my eyes, having no idea what to say now.

"So...can't they, help you..."

She shook her head, looking sad.

"My heart is going to stop beating one day, very soon. It's something I was born with. There's nothing that can be done."

I could only sit and listen to her, no words seeming appropriate at the moment.

"I only found out in April, after I got here to see the Dr's, that there wasn't anything they could do. They told me I had a year to live, maybe. How do I tell Taehyung that? Especially after knowing what happened to his family. How do I do that to him? Can you tell me, Jimin? Because I haven't been able to figure out a way to tell him. I just can't do it."

I felt the tears burning behind my eyes, and I was starting to understand why she had done what she did. 

"I'm scared, Jimin. I don't want to die. I thought I was okay with it. But then I met Taehyung, and everything changed. I didn't want to love him. I knew it was stupid to fall for him, because it could never be. But I couldn't help it. He was everything I never thought I could have. He became the reason my heart beats. But he won't be able to keep it from stopping. I wish he never admitted to having feelings for me, because it has made it so much harder to let him go. But I have to. I don't have a choice."

I got it. I understood what she was saying. I knew why she pretended she left Seoul. But it didn't change the fact that it was Taehyung's baby she was carrying, and he deserved to know. He'd want to know, even though it was something that would come as a total shock. 

"Soo Ah, Tae deserves to know. You're right, it'll be devastating for him. But that's his baby too."

She shook her head. "I can just give the baby up for adoption, and Taehyung doesn't even have to know I'm gone. It'll be better that way. He doesn't deserve any more pain in his life."

I couldn't believe she was considering that.

"You would be okay with Tae's baby having a dad that wasn't him, and him not even knowing he has a child in the world? You don't think that would be devastating? I know you're scared Soo Ah, but give him a chance. Don't take away the little bit of time he has left with you. I think he'd want to spend it with you, and I'm almost positive he wouldn't want you to give his baby up for adoption. Do the right thing, Soo Ah."

She started to cry, and I knelt in front of her, and put my arms around her, pulling her into my embrace. I knew she was scared. This whole thing sucked. I didn't even want to think about the fact that she was going to die. 

"I'm scared, Jimin, I'm scared to tell him. I don't want him to hate me. I hate going through this alone, and I don't want to die alone, but I'm so scared he'll just walk away from me, and not want to deal with losing anyone else."

I laid my hand on her head, letting my fingers stroke her hair, and wished I could understand why life had to be so cruel sometimes. 

"I know you're scared. It's not an easy thing to deal with. Let me help you, Soo Ah. I'll tell him for you. All you have to do is let him in when he's finally ready to talk. Can you promise me that you'll do that?"

She nodded slowly, her head against my chest.. 

"You have my word, I'll help you as much as I can. It's going to be bumpy at first, but just trust me. It'll be okay."

We exchanged phone numbers,  in case she needed someone to talk to, and also so I could let her know once I'd told Taehyung. That way she could be a bit more prepared for when he showed up. If he showed up. I still didn't know how he would take the news.

Not long after, I walked home, still not fully grasping the fact that Soo Ah was going to die. If what she said was true, she had less than six months left.

What the fuck was wrong with this world? Why did it have to be this way? What good reason was there for Soo Ah to be taken from everyone who loved her? 

Now, I had to figure out how to tell Taehyung. Did I want to be the one to do it? Hell no. But I knew if I didn't, she wouldn't. She would have her baby, and give it up, and then she would slip from this world without Tae having a clue that she was gone forever. 

Maybe that was more humane than telling him. He would be so broken, and I didn't know if he could handle any more than what he already had. But he needed to know. The sooner the better.

I would wait until after work tomorrow, and tell him then. He needed to be there for Soo Ah, he needed to be a part of whatever time she had left. And I knew he wouldn't want her to give that baby up for adoption. It would be all he had left of her soon. As scary as it may be for him, Taehyung needed to know that he was going to be a father, and he needed to prepare for it, if that was even something a person could possibly prepare for.