"Okay. I understand. It's not a big deal. Things don't have to change at all. I don't want them to, not if it's going to be this upsetting to you. We're just friends. That's all we have to be." 

•°•♡•°•

It was a big deal. It was a very big deal. I'd admitted that I was feeling something, which I swore I'd never do, with anyone. 

But I wasn't willing to lose what we had, so if that meant keeping my feelings to myself, then that's what I would do. I'd rather pretend I could ignore those feelings, and keep things the way they are. I never should have said anything.

She was still here, and wasn't trying to leave. That was a plus. 

I'd been awake too long, while she slept in my arms, and it had given me time to think.  It let me realize that I liked holding her. I liked the sound of her voice, and her laughter. I liked when she smiled. I was starting to see that I felt better when she was with me. I should have known that thinking would just get me in trouble.

It wasn't like I was in love with her. But I liked her, a lot. 

I glanced at her, and her face was starting to get some of it's color back. I brought her hand to my face, rubbing the back of it against my cheek. She turned her head to look at me, and I gave her a smile. She smiled back.

"I'm sorry Taehyung."

"For what? You don't have to apologize, Soo Ah. We have an agreement, and I'm going to stand by it. After all, I'm the one who told you not to catch feelings for me. I can't really expect you to be okay with me having them for you."

She caught my gaze with hers, and I expected to see relief in her eyes. But that isn't what I saw. Instead I saw a combination of sadness, and fear. 

I wish I knew what she was afraid of. I didn't ask, because I knew she wouldn't tell me. 

"Are we okay?"

She nodded, and leaned her head on my shoulder

I closed my eyes, a bit overwhelmed at what had just almost happened. She'd almost had a panic attack, and had been so close to leaving. I didn't want things to change. 

"Lets lay back down, okay. It's getting late. I know you slept, but I really haven't yet."

"Okay..." she whispered, getting up to move around to the side of the bed. She opened up the sheet that was wrapped around her, so that it could cover us, and I got in on my side, not bothering to remove my sweats. There would be no need for it. I wanted to give her time to recover from her near panic attack, and had no intention of initiating sex in any form.

I was glad she was still completely undressed though, because I wanted to touch her, feel her skin as much as I could without making her feel uncomfortable.

She turned to face me, and gave me a half smile. 

"If you want me to believe that this is still just about sex, then don't baby me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, and she raised her brows at me.

"Who said I was going to baby you?"

"Your still wearing pants."

I smiled. 

"You don't want me to wear pants?"

She shook her head.

I stood back up, and pushed them down my hips, letting them fall to the floor and stepping out of them. She bit her bottom lip, and held up the sheet so I could crawl under it. I moved close to her, and she buried her head against my chest as my arms went around her, pulling her body against mine.

"Better?"

"Mhm," she mumbled against my skin. 

I closed my eyes, my chin on the top of her head, and I wondered if I would be able to fall asleep. It was going on 10pm, and I knew 4am would be here before I knew it. I hoped Soo Ah would just stay here tomorrow, while I was working. I knew she planned to come over once I was done for the day, but since she was already here, I didn't see any reason for her to go home, only to come back later. Unless she had changed her mind about spending tomorrow evening with me.

☆~☆~☆

I yawned, wondering what time it was, hoping I hadn't slept through my alarm. Soo Ah had moved during the night, and she now had her back to me. I reached for my phone, seeing it was blinking a text notification. I immediately sat up, worried about who may have texted me during the night.

I opened the message, seeing that it was from Jungkook.

Don't bother coming in to work this morning. We will be closed, due to Jimin drinking himself into oblivion last night. He is in no condition to work, and I don't think I should leave him alone just yet. I already put a sign on the door that we would be closed due to a family emergency. Enjoy your day. 

3:12am

I stared at the message for a few minutes, not sure whether I should be pissed, or thankful. Why would Jimin go out on a work night and drink that much anyway? I mean, technically, that wasn't really a fair question, since every night was a work night. But he'd just decided to close on Tuesday's, so he could have just waited till Monday night to go out.

There was no sense being mad about it. Besides, Soo Ah had today off. I had every intention of enjoying my day.  

I set my phone down, laying back down and turning towards her, scooting my body up against her back. I rested my arm around her waist, my hand finding hers and covering it. She moved a tiny bit, wiggling back into me, and I sucked in a breath, thankful when she stopped moving. I closed my eyes, not sure I would be able to go back to sleep. My body was so used to getting up at 4am, and it was 3:50 now. Truth be told, even if I didn't fall asleep, I was happy to just lie here.

☆~☆~☆

I opened my eyes, seeing the sliver of light on the wall coming from the tiny opening in the curtains drawn over the window. Two seconds later, I realized Taehyungs arm was around me, and I jumped up, pushing it off and turning to him.

"Taehyung, oh my God, wake up, it's light outside. You're late for work."

He cracked one eye opened, looking at me, and yawned. 

"You need to get up. There won't be any cake. Jimin's probably going to kill you for being late."

He chuckled, the other eye opening as he gazed at me sleepily.

"Actually, I'm going to kill Jimin. It's his fault we had to close today," he mumbled, his voice still deep with sleep.

My eyes widened, and I wondered if I'd heard him right.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, his hand coming up to push his hair back off his forehead, even though it fell right back over it.

"According to Jungkook, Jimin drank himself into a stupor last night. He's afraid to even leave him alone yet. He put a sign on the door at some point that we would be closed, and told me to enjoy my day."

I was shocked. I would have never thought Jimin would  be the one to be irresponsible. Not that I expected any of them would be, but he seemed to be very invested in the coffee shop, and If anyone missed a day, I didn't think it would be him. 

"Does Jimin normally drink that much?"

He huffed out a laugh.

"Oh, you'd be surprised. For a little guy, Jimin can drink. Obviously, he can't handle it, but he can put them away like nobody's business."

"Wow," I mumbled. "I'd have never guessed that about him." 

He suddenly reached for me, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me towards him, right onto his lap. My back was to him, and he pulled me back against him, my bottom pressed against his pelvis, and I smiled evilly and wiggled against him.

I felt his stomach muscles clench, and heard his low moan as his hand flattened against my stomach, traveling down until his fingers slid between my legs, dipping into my velvety folds, causing me to gasp as he brushed over my clit. Shock waves spread through me, and I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, feeling his lips brush my cheek, then move down my neck, sucking the sensitive skin between his teeth, nibbling gently as he drew the blood to the surface, no doubt leaving a mark. 

My breathing was labored, and my hips were moving  sporadically as his finger circled my sensitive bud, teasing me into a quivering blob of flesh as I got closer to that mind blowing orgasm he'd never had a problem bringing me to. 

I gripped his arm, my nails digging into his flesh, and my body started to shake as I came, squeezing my legs together even though it didn't stop or slow his movements against my most sensitive spot. 

I cried out, the intensity to much, and tried to move away from his hand, with nowhere to go.

"T-tae-h-hyung, sto-stop, oh G-god...agghh, I-I can't..."

I trembled, not able to control my body, the sensations his finger against me was causing leaving me beyond breathless. 

He finally pulled his hand away, kissing my jaw, my shoulder, his hand grabbing my chin and turning my face so he could kiss my lips. 

I was powerless, the strength completely gone from me. I could do nothing but slump against him, my eyes fluttering closed as he held me so I didn't fall over. 

Holy shit. 

"That's just the start," he breathed in my ear. "We have the whole day to spend together, and we don't have to leave this room, unless you want to."

I didn't think I wanted to. 

Except at the moment, I needed the bathroom, and I didn't know if I was capable of getting there on my own.

I took a breath, turning my head to look at his profile. His head was leaned back against the headboard, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, and he was absolutely breathtaking. 

I stared for a minute, then attempted to move from his lap, and he opened his eyes, turning to me.

"You Okay?"

I nodded.

"I need to use the bathroom," I mumbled shyly. 

His lips curved up, and he helped me move off his lap, leaning over to grab a t-shirt from the floor, and handing it to me as I stood. I slipped it over my head, smiling at him as I headed out the door for the bathroom. 

Once there, I looked at myself in the mirror before I sat to do my business. I looked okay, and the bags I'd had under my eyes seemed to be diminishing. I was sleeping better when I was with Taehyung. It was too bad I wouldn't be able to continue sleeping in his arms. 

I peed, then washed my hands, splashing my face with cool water when I was done. Despite what had happened last night, I felt pretty good today. 

Last night, I had been scared. My heart literally hurt, and I could feel it struggling to beat properly. It was the most scared I'd been since finding out about what would eventually end my life. 

My heart was just going to stop beating one day, and that would be it. Obviously, that's the cause of many peoples deaths, but not in the same way as it would be mine.

See, my heart was dying, literally. The walls of my heart were thickening, a little more every day. Eventually, it would get to the point that it could no longer beat, and it would just stop. 

Apparently, I was born with this condition. People don't usually find out they have such a condition unless they have another illness that causes certain scans to be done that show it. In my case, because of the infection I got when I was a child, the doctor suggested having scans done every 6 to 8 years, just to make sure everything was still okay.

The first time nothing had shown up, but according to my dr, it may or may not have been visible then. Whoever had read the scans hadn't been looking for it, instead focusing on everything else that could have been damaged during my infection. I'd been 12 then, and I remember my mother being so happy that I seemed to be perfectly fine. 

My sister was a baby then, almost a year old, and because she had come along, my mom had been forced to stop worrying so much about me, because she had to focus a lot of her attention on Soo Mi. I was glad. She'd been so protective of me since I'd gotten better, barely letting me do anything, being worried I would get sick again or something. Soo Mi being born had finally allowed me to have a bit more fun, and do things a kid should be doing.

The next scan happened when I was 19, and I'd gone by myself. That's when I found out I had this condition. There could have been signs. Shortness of breath. Getting tired quicker than normal. Feeling a heaviness in my chest, or feeling like my heart was beating in slow motion.

I couldn't remember any of those things happening, but then, I hadn't really been paying attention for anything like that.

It's funny, how you can have all these plans and dreams, all these things that you wanted to do, places you wanted to go, it didn't matter how big or small, or how near or far. There were things I wanted to experience, goals I wanted to reach. I'd hoped to get married, have someone to share my life with. I'd even thought about adopting children, if that was something my partner and I both wanted. But then, I found out I was going to die within a year, and just like that, my world suddenly got so much smaller.