Jimin and Jungkook had gone down the stairs, leaving Soo Ah and I standing there, and I hugged her, kissing her forehead. I knew she was feeling emotional. This had been her home since she'd been in Seoul, and she was leaving it for the last time. But I felt nothing but happiness that she was moving in with me, and I couldn't wait to get back home and get all her stuff inside.

•°•♡•°•

Jungkook said goodbye, and left to go home and get ready for his date later. We climbed in with Jimin, and he took us back to our house, and helped me carry everything in while Soo Ah sat on the couch and watched us.

 Once we had everything in, he said goodbye, and left, leaving Soo Ah and I to decide where to put everything. I had a closet in my bedroom, and it was decent sized, but I didn't really have much in it, so there was no reason she couldn't put everything that had come out of hers in there too. 

The other stuff, which turned out to be some photo albums and framed pictures, what looked like a journal, some novels, and a few little decorative items, I told her she could put where ever she wanted to.

I carried her clothes upstairs, laying them on the bed so we could put them in the closet later, then went back down to sit next to her on the couch. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked her, glancing at her face, knowing she was deep in thought about something.

She looked at me, reaching up and touching my face, pushing some hair aside that had fallen in front of my eyes and looking into them with a smile.

"I'm okay, Taehyung. I'm just...sad. I thought I had accepted that my time here on this earth was coming to an end. I was okay with it."

"Soo Ah..." I didn't really want to talk about this.

"No Taehyung, let me talk, please?"

I took a breath, closing my eyes, trying to bring up a wall around my heart, so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain that I knew her words were going to bring, but it crumbled as quickly as it appeared. I opened my eyes to hers, and nodded, even though I wasn't ready to hear any of what she was about to say. 

"I'm sorry, I know this is hard for you." 

Her hands found mine, squeezing them gently, and I looked into her eyes, getting lost in them.

"I honestly had accepted that I was going to die. It didn't bother me. I realized that we all have our time here, and when it's up, it's up. I told myself that it all made sense, everything that had happened to me. Getting sick when I was very young, almost dying. It was all to prepare me, because I was meant to die young."

My eyes had filled with tears, and I really didn't want to hear any more, but I would listen, because I loved her, and she needed me to hear her right now.

"But then you came along, Taehyung. You came along, and you became my miracle. You are my miracle, and this baby, our baby, is a miracle. This wasn't supposed to be able to happen, and the only explanation I can come up with is that God answered my prayers in the only way he could."

A tear rolled down my cheek, and she reached up and caught it with her thumb. 

"After meeting you, so many things changed. Before, when I thought everything was fine and that I was, well, as healthy as I could be, I wanted a lot of things. I had goals of my own. So many things. But I also wanted to get married one day, and have a family. I wanted to do things that families do. But then I found out I was going to die, and all that changed. I let go of the goals and dreams I had in my heart, and my only goal was just to live, as long as I could. It's amazing how much you start to appreciate all the small things, things that used to be insignificant."

She smiled, and I tried to return it, but my heart was hurting so much, and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't smile.

"I learned to appreciate every little thing. The birds chirping, the leaves falling, the clouds floating across the blue sky. Everything was beautiful, the noise of the city, the lights shining in the darkness of the night, the crowds moving along the sidewalks, even the things that use to annoy me before, it all had it's own kind of beauty.  Things I never thought much about before, I suddenly noticed. I loved when it stormed, for some reason. The thunder and lightening, and especially the rain on my face, it became my favorite thing. 

Her hand came up to rest on my cheek, her thumb rubbing the wetness under my eye.

"After I met you, as much as I tried to deny that I felt anything for you, my heart knew better. I prayed, without even realizing I was doing it. I prayed for God to let me stay with you. I didn't want to leave you. I don't want to leave you."

It was getting harder to see her, the tears making my vision blurry. I clenched my teeth together to keep my jaw from trembling, and tried to blink away the tears.

"Even though it's not exactly what I had in mind, God found a way to let me stay with you. I wish I'd realized it right away, but I didn't, and I can't apologize enough for what I did. I never should have pretended to leave, because so much time has been lost, and I know there's no way to get it back."

She leaned in, pressing her forehead to mine, gazing into my eyes. 

"This baby, it's our miracle, I know it. I remember my mother crying her eyes out, hiding in her room, thinking I couldn't hear her. I remember hearing her talking to my dad, telling him that the doctors had said my fallopian tubes were so damaged that I would never have children, there was no way an egg could ever pass through. She blamed herself, for taking me swimming at the public pool so soon after getting over the measles, but she just wanted me to be able to do something fun after being cooped up inside for weeks."

She had pulled back, still smiling at me, a smile that I still could't return.

"I should not have gotten pregnant, Taehyung, I'm so sure of it. But this is God's answer to my prayer. This baby is His way of letting me stay with you. I'll be with you forever, through this child. It's a part of me, and I'm a part of it. I can't stay here with you, but I can leave a part of myself, and I will always be watching over you both, I promise."

My head dropped, the tears falling from my eyes. It was hard to breath, the sobs wracking my body, and she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her as best she could.

"I'm sorry Taehyung, I'm so so sorry."

I shook my head, refusing to hear her, refusing to accept that I would lose her. I wouldn't let her go. She couldn't go. I needed her. She was my whole world, she was all I had, and I needed her.

"You can't go, I won't let you. I need you, you can't leave me..."

She simply held onto me, not letting go for a second as I cried, my tears wetting the front of her shirt. My arms were wrapped around her, hands clutching the back of her shirt, and I felt like a child, despite the fact that her small frame could barely embrace me, her arms almost not reaching around me.

I needed my mother. I needed her to hold me, and comfort me, and tell me that everything would be okay. I needed her to reassure me.

But I didn't have my mother. And soon, I wouldn't have Soo Ah. I would have nothing. 

That wasn't true. I would have a baby. I would be a father. Whether I was ready or not, I wouldn't have a choice. 

I wasn't okay. I wasn't going to be okay. I didn't care what anyone said, or what anyone thought. I wouldn't be okay. The deaths of my family had almost broke me, but I'd somehow managed to hold it together, and keep going. 

But this, this was going to break me. This was going to be what did me in. 

"Taehyung, you have to be strong. Please, do it for me. Our baby is going to need you."

I closed my eyes. I can't do this. I can't be strong. I had no strength left in me. 

"I can't, Soo Ah. I don't know how."

She released me, pulling away to cup my face with her hands, raising it so I had no choice but to look at her. The tears were still rolling down my cheeks, and she wiped them away, smiling at me sadly.

"Taehyung, you don't have to know how. It isn't something you will do right or wrong. You just have to do the best you can."

I shook my head, and she shook hers right back at me.

"Taehyung, you can do this. You have to. Just like you need me, this baby will need you. God chose you to be this babies father, and you're going to be the best father he or she could possibly have. I know that you're scared, and that's okay. But this is your path, and all you can do is take it. There's a reason you're on it, and you may not know what that reason is, but it doesn't matter. You can do this, I know you can. You just remember that even though you won't be able to see me, I am right beside you, I will always be, right beside you."

I closed my eyes, all of this being too much for me to handle.  Why me? Hadn't I been through enough, lost enough people I love. Why was I going to have to lose someone else? How much was one person supposed to be able to handle? I wasn't strong. 

I wanted to try to be strong, for Soo Ah. I wanted to be strong for her because she needed me to be strong. 

"I don't know if I can do it, Soo Ah. But I know I have to try. I don't want to be weak, but I don't know how I'm supposed to be okay without you. Tell me how I'm supposed to do that."

She leaned her forehead against mine again, her hands holding mine tightly. 

"I can't tell you how, Taehyung. You just have to do the best you can, and that will be enough. You don't have to be strong every second of every day, no one will expect that. You have Jimin and Jungkook, and they'll help you. I know they will. You won't be alone."

"But I'm going to feel like I'm alone, without you." I said quietly. "They won't be here all the time. How do I be a father by myself? How do I know what to do? How do I do this, without you? I can't, and I don't want to."

She gazed into my eyes.

"Then do you want to give the baby up for adoption, because that is still an option. There is bound to be a family out there waiting for a baby to call their own. You don't have to do this if you don't want to, and I'm not going to think badly of you if you decide you don't want to keep this baby."

"No," I shook my head, "there is not a family out there that will be calling our baby their own. This is our baby, it's part of you, and me, and he or she is staying right here, and growing up in this house."