I woke up the next morning on Raf's bed alone. Suot ko ang plain white V-neck shirt niyang hindi ko natandaang sinuot ko kagabi. With its sleeves reaching my elbows, it's oversized for me and almost looked like a short dress.

Dahan-dahan akong tumayo mula sa kama at pinasadahan ng daliri ang gulo-gulong buhok. Nag-uumpisa na naman itong humaba. At dahil sinabi ni Raf na mas gusto niya ang mahaba kong buhok, hindi ko na ito ulit papuputulan. Guess I'll settle for trimming.

Isang ngiti ang dumapo sa mga labi ko habang pinagmamasdan ang sarili sa harap ng salamin. I hugged myself upon remembering what happened last night.

Pahakbang pa lamang sana ako patungo sa pinto nang bigla iyong bumukas. I stopped on my tracks nang iniluwa nito si Raf, wearing the same white shirt as I am with hair's a bit dishevelled. He immediately greeted me with a sweet smile with his usual tender eyes.

I was usually grumpy if not indifferent in the morning but with the sight of him like this, pakiramdam ko'y kasalanang makaramdam ng alinman sa dalawang iyon ngayon. I mean, how can I possibly not smile back with that face?

"Hey." I tilted my head to the side as an unbridled smile carved on my lips.

"Morning," bati niya sa namamalat na boses. He walked languidly towards me then, not breaking our eye contact. "You hungry? Nagluto ako ng breakfast."

His arm automatically slid on my waist unto my lower back and settled there while his other palm landed on my jaw. And I never thought that staring at his bed hair right now could be this sexy yet cute at the same time, that I wanted to capture it. This moment. The us in the now.

"Pahiram phone mo. I don't wanna think where I left mine."

"Okay." Hinugot niya ito mula sa bulsa ng suot na shorts at iniabot sa akin.

I opened his cam and lift his phone in front of us as I leaned on his chest and him holding me from my back.

"Smile!"

I touched the snap button and took consecutive photos of us with different wacky poses. Tawang-tawa ako sa ilang kinalabasan noon lalo na ang isang litong ekspresyon ni Raf. He looked clueless why I took many snaps kaya ang mga sumunod pa'y halatang mandatory smile na lang ang nagawa niya. He's so awkward whenever he's in front of the camera's lens! Halatang hindi madalas mag-selfie. Cute fiend.

Natatawa pa ako sa katitingin ng mga pictures namin ng bigla-bigla'y marahan niyang hinawi ang takas kong buhok at inipit sa likod ng tainga ko. His hand remained on my face kaya't napatingala na ako sa kaniya. I gave him a tender smile as his eyes lovingly bore into mine. And then there were no words needed. Because we both know what the other is feeling. We both felt it. Everything. Last night. And the remains of those overflowing feelings still linger 'till now.

I tiptoed and reached for his face to plant a kiss on his cheeks. Pinisil ko siya ng yakap mula sa baywang pagkatapos.

I felt him kiss the top of my head as he chuckled while hugging me back. "Alizeh, would you mind wearing regular clothes? Just so you know, you're killin' me here right now with you wearing only my shirt."

I stilled for a moment when my heart boomed with his sudden mention of my second name. Huli na nang napagtanto ko kung ano ang kabuuan niyang sinabi. I giggled some beats late as I burry my face more on his chest. "Try to bear with it, Ellis."

I felt his hands grab a hold of both sides of my waist. And before I knew it, he was lifting me up and all I could do is shriek in surprise as I draped both my arms around his nape.

He moistened his lips as we stare at each other, smiles plastered on both our faces like an idiot. Moments later, I hunched my head a little until our foreheads touch.

"I love you, Rafiele Ellis Carpeso Hernandez," I said as I crouched more to drop a kiss on his lips.

Tumagal pa muna ang titig niya sa akin bago sa wakas ay muling nagsalita. "Will you marry me, Lewis Alizeh Escareal Belmonte? I don't have a ring yet but I've never felt this sure about anything in my entire life..."

Sa gulat ay nanigas ako at halos kapusin ng hininga. Dahan-dahan at maingat akong ibinaba ni Raf, his eyes never leaving mine and so does his hands on my waist.

"That's no fair," tila hanging anas ko nang ilang sandali pagkabawi. "How can I say yes without anything to seal it with?"

Mabilis siyang napahalakhak at walang anu-ano'y siniil ako nang malalalim na halik, I almost lost myself in him.

"I'm in love with you, Lewis. And one day... someday... our days will be like this... for the rest of our lives," he drawled while caressing my cheeks. Then all of a sudden he flashed a mischievous smile. "But for now, let's make the best of what we got."

Muli akong napatili nang binuhat niya ako sa baywang at pinupog ng halik sa mukha, hanggang sa muli kaming mapadpad sa kama niya. Marahan niyang hinawi ang collar ng shirt niyang suot ko. Nang hinampas ko sa braso ay humalakhak lamang siya sandali bago ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.

"Kumain muna tayo ng breakfast!" was my futile and half-hearted attempt to stop him.

Mula sa paghalik sa balikat ko'y nag-angat siya sandali ng tingin sa akin. He shook his head once, a smile lingering on his twitching lips as he said this like a little kid, "Don't wanna."

I chuckled and pinch his cheek only to end up laughing and screeching again but this time, because of his tickling.

"Rafiele!" Halos magwala na ako roon dahil kung saan-saan niya ako kinikiliti. He was laughing loud as well as I try to tickle him back and somehow, we both found ourselves making out again.

It was almost the end of the semester when Raf started to take care of his on boarding papers again. He kept instructing swimming while doing it though. At kasabay ng pagtatapos ng sem ang pagkumpirma ng date kung kailan ang akyat niya. Sinamahan ko siyang mamili ng mga gamit na dadalhin niya roon. And believe it or not, I am looking forward on his coming on boarding. Hindi dahil gusto ko siyang umalis o ano. Masaya lang ako dahil sa wakas, ito na, his dream is finally materializing in front of him!

Hindi na rin tuloy ako makapaghintay na maka-graduate at kumuha ng licensure exam. I wanted to strive hard and finish my studies knowing that he's already living his dream. That's the only thing that consumed my mind when Raf left for his on boarding. I set my priorities right this time. Kaya't kahit hindi kami araw-araw na nagkakausap ni Raf ay ayos lang sa akin. I missed him every time, of course. Pero sa tuwing iniisip ko ang hinaharap, sa dapat ko lamang gawin ngayon ako nagpo-focus. And that's what kept me going for a month until it happened.

"Lew! I brought you sinigang from Jeremy's!—O? Anyare sa 'yo? Ba't ka namumutla?"

"Is that... ang lansa, Mon! Can you please put it asid—" Nang nakaramdam ako ng pagkakaduwal ay agad akong tumakbo patungo sa CR habang sapo ang bibig.

"Lew? Okay ka lang? Is your stomach upset? Ano bang kinain mo kanina?" ani Mon habang dinudungaw ako mula sa bukas na pinto ng CR.

Napasalat ako ng noo para i-check ang sarili kung nilalagnat ba ako ngunit normal naman ang temperature ko. I don't feel anything weird until I smelled the food Mon brought... ganito rin ako ng nakaraang linggo nang sinubukan kong magluto ng pork steak... my period's late as well...

"Huy! You okay?" she probed. "Mukha ka namang okay kanina pagkabangon ah?"

Malaki ang mga mata ko pagkalingon sa kaibigan. At nang ilang sandali kaming magtapunan ng tingin doon ay tila nagets niya kaagad anong iniisip ko, kaya't maging siya'y namilog ang mga mata at napasapo ng labi.

"Oh my God, Lew. Are you pregnant?"

Umawang ang mga labi ko para sa mga salitang hindi ko naimutawi. I don't know what to think! Lalo na kung ano ang dapat gawin.

Wait, is this really happening? Baka naman may nakain lang akong kung ano kagabi?

"Oh my God, oh my God! Lew! Okay! Just calm down! Dito ka lang. I'll buy you a pregnancy test. Don't talk to anyone or go anywhere yet! Babalik ako agad!"

I couldn't even move as Mon rushed outside. Masyado akong gulat at hindi makapaniwala sa nangyayari. Not that it was already confirmed though.

Nang mapag-isa ay noon lamang ako dinagsa ng mga isipin. My studies. Rafiele. My parents. My friends.

Sa studies, I can always stop for a while and continue after I gave birth. Raf just left and he'll be gone for nine months. I need to tell him pero baka biglang bumaba iyon ng barko. It'll only be a burden for him since he can't breach his contract. I'm not sure though how Mom would react, dahil sigurado akong hindi magagalit si Dad sa akin. And my friends... they'll no longer be my block mates if I took a break from my studies... I wouldn't be able to graduate together with them... but that's the least of my concern right now.

So everything's alright... it's alright. I'm fine. We're fine.

Wala sa sarili kong nasalat ang puson at tila wala sa sariling natulala roon sa tapat ng salamin.

Bumalik si Mon dala ang ilang brand ng pregnancy test. We read how to use it and I tried a bunch of it with different brands but the result stays the same.

"I'm pregnant," walang emosyon kong utas, tila hindi pa rin talaga ma-digest ng utak ko kung ano ang ibig sabihin noon.

Mon squealed delightfully then hugged me. "Magiging tita na ako!" Then she immediately let go with a sudden serious expression. "Gaga ka! Why didn't you and Raf use protection?!"

"I'm pregnant," ulit kong muli, mostly to let my mind sink that in.

Mon heaved out a sigh of surrender laced with frustration. At sa malamyos na boses ay sinabi niyang, "Don't worry, Lew. I'll be here. Jere and I will be here for you. You don't need to be scared, okay? It's gonna be okay..."

"Mon..." I turned to her with tears now brimming on my eyes. "I'm pregnant!" Tumulo ang luha ko kasabay ng tawang kumawala sa mga labi.

I don't understand. I am happy, sad, excited and scared all at the same time.

Mon nodded at me, her expression are a mixture of glee, sorrow and worry. She hugged me again but this time, longer. I cried with a smile on my face on her shoulders as she tried to assure me that I am about to take a wonderful journey and that there's no need to be scared.

It was a weekend and I was hoping to be able to contact Raf. Huling pag-uusap namin ay noong Thursday pa. So I tried to call him while I was constructing sentences on how I'll break the news to him. He was unreachable the whole day kaya't nabigyan ako ng sapat na oras upang paulit-ulit na isipin kung paano ko ito sasabihin sa kaniya. For the mean time though, sinamahan ako ni Mon sa doctor para makapagpa-check-up. The doctor prescribed vitamins that I need. She also gave me some advice and warned me what to do or not to. To not stress myself out or do workouts or drink alcohol and so on so forth.

It was almost ten in the evening and I'm still trying to contact Raf. Nakakaramdam na ako ng antok nang biglang nagising ang diwa ko, nang sa wakas ay marinig ko ang pag-ring ng number niya. He answered after three rings.

"I was about to call you. What you up to?" bungad niya.

"I was practically trying to call you the whole day..."

"Bakit? Are you okay? May nangyari ba?" Mabilis napalitan ng pag-aalala ang boses niya mula sa kabilang linya.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko habang dinidinig ang malakas na tambol ng dibdib. And very subtly, I break the news to him. "There's a little pumpkin on my belly for six weeks now..."

Binalot ng katahimikan ang kabilang linya. Ilang singhap mula sa kaniya ang narinig ko hanggang sa wakas ay narinig ko ang pagtawa niya. It was laced with happiness, pain and amusement all at the same time. At sa nanginginig na boses ay sinabi niyang, "Lew, you're pregnant with our child?"

Tumango ako at pumikit kasabay ng luhang tumulo. "Yes, Rafiele."

"Oh... God. You just made me the happiest person alive, Lewis... I love you, I love you so much... both of you." His voice are shaking as he starts sobbing on the other line. It's the kind of sob when you can't contain so much happiness that it felt overwhelming. He didn't even cry when we broke up but he's crying now knowing that we're gonna have this little pumpkin.

It made my heart ache with bliss. Kaya't mas lalo akong naiyak roon at panandaliang hindi nakapagsalita habang sinasapo ang mga hikbi.

"Are you okay? How do you feel? Is it hard? Are you comfortable? Is she giving you a hard time?"

She. He's already assuming it's a girl!

"I'm fine... ayaw ko lang ng amoy ng baboy... whenever I smelled it I can't control getting nauseous."

"I'll go home. I'll cancel the contract. I need to be with you. Kakausapin ko ngayon ang superior ko. Gagawa ako ng paraan... You need to be taken care of, at ako ang dapat gumawa no'n."

"Pero Raf—"

"I'll go home to you... and our little pumpkin. I'll be with you on this journey, Lew..."

Pinag-usapan rin namin kung paano ito sasabihin kina Mommy. Raf said that's the first thing we'll do when he get back. Ngunit halos kalahating buwan na ang lumipas at hindi pa rin siya nakakababa ng barko. He was willing to pay for the penalty for breaching his contract but his superior doesn't want to let him go.

I already have a baby bump ngunit hindi pa naman ganoon kalaki kaya't nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa pagpasok sa school. Madalas akong magbasa at mag-search ng mga guide, article o kung ano pa tungkol sa pagbubuntis. Nang napansin ito ng mga block mates ko't nagtanong sila'y sinabi ko na. I wasn't planning to hide it from the start. Ngunit ayaw ko rin namang ipangalandakan kaya't noon ko lang sinabi sa kanila.

"Hala, true ba?" gulat na bulalas ni Denise.

I smiled and nodded.

"Does your parents know?" ani Nicole sa nag-aalalang boses. "How about your studies, Lew? Practice teaching na tayo next year..."

I shrugged. "They don't know about it yet... and I think I'll be needing a break on my studies for a while."

"Bababa ba ng barko si Raf? It'll be hard for you to handle it alone." The attentiveness and worry I saw on Lucile's face surprised me a bit. I mean, palagi kasing poker face at mukhang walang pakialam ang isang ito.

I gave Cil an easy smile. "Yeah... that's the plan."

"I can always be his replacement, you know." Ngumisi si Jake. "Kidding, guys. I'm kidding!" depensa niya agad nang sinamaan siya ng tingin ng mga ito.

"Umayos ka, JK!" Denise deadpanned.

"Cil, ikaw ba 'yan?" Hinampas agad ng huli ang nagkumentong si Raul. "Aray ko! Bigat ng kamay mo!"

"Mabigat? Gusto mo itong paa ko na lang panghampas ko sa 'yo? Ha?"

"Biro lang, biro lang!" Sabay ngiti na parang inosenteng bata habang naka-peace sign.

"Umayos ka, Raul." Now it's Lucile's time to deadpan. Sinamaan lang siya ng tingin ng huli nang tumawa si Denise.

"But seriously, what the hell is he thinking? He should've been more careful! Alam naman niyang may priorities ka pang dapat unahin." Jake suddenly turned serious as he speak all of a sudden.

Siniko ni Raul ang huli bago nagsalita. "We can all be Raf's proxy for the meantime, Lew. 'Wag ka mag-alala. Kaming bahala sa 'yo. You can always count on us. Kahit anong oras pa 'yan, tatakbo ako basta kailangan mo."

"Bugok. Ba't ka tatakbo may sasakyan ka naman?" sikong pabalik ni Jake dito, bahagya na muling ngumingisi.

"Gago figurative kasi! English major 'di alam? Makaka-graduate ka ba niyan, pre?"

"Joke kasi ang tawag do'n, Raul. Kaya hindi ka binabalikan eh. Wala kang matinong sense of humor!"

Cil and Jake high fived at that before throwing a nonchalant look at Raul.

The latter scoffed smugly at the two. "Sinong may sabing 'di ako binalikan?"

Nagkatinginan kaming lahat roon at sabay-sabay na bumagsak ang tingin kay Denise pagkatapos.

"Den? Is it true? Nagkabalikan kayo?" I probed with amusement.

Sinuklian niya kami isa-isa ng nahihiya at nag-aalangang tingin bago marahang tumango.

"What?!!" sabay-sabay nilang utas sa gulat.

"Guys, nakaka-offend na kayo ah," ani Raul.

I smiled at that. May pagkasiraulo si Raul but he's proven a good guy over the time we're together. And I guess, loss can really taught us how to take care of things right if we're lucky enough to be given a second chance to do things over again—tulad kami ni Raf.

"Congrats!"

"Thanks, Lew," Den said with a hint of sheepishness. Then she gave me a tender smile. "Congrats din sa inyo ni Raf!"

"'Yung mukha ni Raul na 'to? Binalikan mo pa, Den?" ani Lucile sa blangkong ekspresyon habang nakaturo kay Raul.

"Hoy, estatwa! Binalikan ako! Binalikan!" Raul pointed out as if no one really believed him.

"Magloko ka pa ulit at wala nang babalik sa 'yo." Ngumisi si Jake rito.

They we're like that for some time. And suddenly I found myself smiling from their usual banters. How I'm gonna miss hanging out with these guys.

"How does it feel?" Nicole suddenly asked as she sit beside me and caught me caressing my tummy.

Sumulyap ako sa kaniya at sinubukang arukin ang sariling damdamin. "It's... I don't know, it feels magical, almost surreal that something, someone is inside me and in months, years... she'll be like me, she'll trip down and fall, laugh at trivial things, meet wonderful people, she'll have a life, make decisions for herself, falls in love... and all those times, Raf and I will be with her... just like how my parents are there for me..."

"Lew..."

Natigilan ako sa pagsasalita nang mapansin kong biglang tumahimik. Pagkaangat ko ng tingin sa kanila'y nasa akin na ang tingin nilang lahat. Lucile and Denise walk towards me and both gave me a hug.

"It's wonderful," Nicole said with tears brimming on her eyes.

Noon ko lamang naramdaman ang basang pisngi ko dahil sa mga luhang tumulo.

"Being a mother is a wonderful thing... and I'm sure you'll be a good one, Lewis," Jake said this with nothing but pure sincerity on his eyes.

"Thank you..." I smiled despite my tears. "Thank you guys so much for putting up with me all these years. Kung wala kayo hindi ko alam kung paano..."

"Huy wala namang ganyang linyahan, Lew. Para mo naman kaming iiwan niyan eh!" angil ni Raul habang nakangiti. "Medyo lilihis ka lang ng daan pero hindi ka naman tuluyang liliko palayo sa 'min, 'di ba?"

"Sabay-sabay pa tayong kukuha ng LET! Ang bumagsak manlilibre!" tawa ni Jake.