I did my everyday routine perfectly the same. Wake up early, brew some coffee, open the book store, grab the book I'm currently reading and enjoy the view of the rising sun, together with the silence and aloneness while I read and sip on my coffee.

"Good morning, Miss Lewis! Care for some breakfast? May dala ako!" Or not.

"You're early today, huh?" I continued sipping on my cup of coffee without even throwing him a glance.

I heard him giggle. "Thought you might be lonely eating breakfast alone and decide to skip it." Isang iling at palatak. "Paano ka na kung wala ako, Miss Lew?"

I looked at him flatly as I put my mug down. "Hey, kiddo."

"I have special ube keso pandesal!" He beamed excitedly, holding up a brown bag levelled on the side of his face. "Il mio preferito!"

I nodded subtly then cocked my head to the side, narrowing my eyes on him. "How long have you been a part-timer here?"

"A... year? I guess?" He narrowed his eyes on me too as if waiting for my affirmation, in case he got in wrong.

Ngunit imbes na kumpirmahin ang sinabi'y nagtaas ako ng isang kilay. Sinarado ko ang librong binabasa at ipinahinga iyon sa kandungan. Itinuon ko ang buong atensyon sa kaniya sabay sarkastiko akong ngumisi. "A year and you still don't know that I don't eat anything solid for breakfast?"

He blinks. Then after a few silent moments, he flashes yet another smile and settled on the seat right across from mine. Inilapag niya ang brown bag sa lamesa at maligayang nirolyo iyon pabukas matapos.

Umiling siya. With now a smug smile on his face, he announces, "No soul can say no to my favorite special ube keso pandesal!"

"Did you not hear what I said?"

"Special! Ube! Keso! Pandesal!" Pinisil niya ang tinapay bago iyon kinagat, nagbibingi-bingihan. "Mnnnn!" Sabay tingala at lahad ng magkabilang palad pataas. "The heavens have opened the gates! This is the real thing, Miss Lew! You should definitely try this! Ipupusta ko ang pangalan ng lolo ko, this really came from the heavens!"

"Who told you to sit down and share a table with me?" sabi ko sa mababa ngunit may pagbabantang tinig. Pinandilatan ko ang balewala at patuloy pa rin niyang pagnguya matapos.

He smirked. "Miss Lew, you are definitely missing half of your life! Try mo na! Sige na! Isa lang!"

I sure as hell missed half of my life because I'm close to dying. So funny.

The corner of my lips rose for a half smile. "You know I can always hire a new part-timer to replace you, right?"

Nasa kalagitnaan na siya ng muling pagsubo nang panandaliang matigilan. He froze. Awang pa ang mga labi nang tumingin sa akin, tanging mga mata lang ang gumalaw.

I tilt my head to the side. And as if taking a hint, he started moving again.

"Ah!" Pagkatapos ipagsiksikan sa bibig ang natirang piraso ng pandesal ay dali-dali niyang sininop ang brown bag. May ilang tawa pang kumakawala sa punong bibig bago nagsalita. "Palit ba? Si Boss Lew naman eh! Magpapalit na nga ako o! Wala namang ibang palitan—"

Napangiwi ako pagka-ilag sa kung anong tumalsik galing sa bibig niya. I almost screeched in disgust but only ended up throwing him hostile stares, as he stood up and fumbled his way to the staff room while laughing his ass off. Napailing na lamang ako at mabigat na napabuntonghininga nang mawala siya sa paningin ko sa wakas. That kid has ton of energy to waste this early in the morning. Must be nice to be young and stupid.

"'Wag kang mag-alala, Miss Lew, 'pag tumanda kang dalaga pwede mong ipamana sa 'kin 'tong shop mo! Akong bahala kaya take your sweet time!"

My teeth gritted with the sudden surge of annoyance. Handa na akong batuhin siya nang pinakamalapit na bagay sa akin nang isinigaw ko ang pangalan niya sa sobrang gigil ko. "ALFIEÑO, YOU BRAT!"

"Yep, that's me! I'm here! But just call me Alfie!" aniya sabay bungisngis.

Sa iritasyon ko'y nabato ko nang tuluyan sa kaniya ang hawak kong hardbound. Saktong lumagabag ang libro sa nakasara nang pinto ng staff room.

That kid, I'm telling you! Urgh! Kung paano kong nakayang makasama siya sa mga lumipas na taon ay isang malaking misteryo sa akin.

I've been trying to calm myself down but the caffeine isn't helping. It only made my palpitation worse. I'm not complaining though for it's the only thing that could make me feel something aside from emptiness over the years. Bukod din sa batang ito na walang ibang dulot sa akin kundi iritasyon.

The brat came back wearing his black button down, folded up unto his elbow under the store dark green apron. Maingat niyang inilapag sa lamesa ang hardbound na maswerteng naiwasan niya kanina.

"Okay ka lang, Miss Lew? Birthday mo kahapon pero ba't mukha kang bilasa—" Bahagya siyang napatalon at napasalag ng mga braso dahil sa sama ng sulyap na tinapon ko. But despite that, he still managed to let out a chuckle and gesture a peace sign. "Balisa kasi 'yon, na mispronounced lang, Boss."

I grimaced when his lips stretched to an easy smile. Sunod ay napapailing na binalewala ko na lamang siya. "Mababaog ako sa batang ito." which I immediately thought to be a bad joke as soon as the words came out.

"Uy bad 'yon." Na mabilis at unconscious namang sinang-ayunan ni Alfie.

Whatever.

"Speaking of bad omens, ang weird ng panaginip ko kagabi, Miss Lew. Si Lolo, tanda mo? Hindi ko na maalala kung tungkol sa'n 'yung panaginip pero parang... dinadalaw niya ako... parang may pahabilin o baka... sinusundo na ako?" He shuddered. "'Wag naman sana 'yung huli!"

I heaved out a heavy sigh and turned silent for a few jiffy, ruminating something. I've been avoiding thinking about this but it sure as hell has its own way to barged in my thoughts, unwelcomed. At kahit anong panloloko ang gawin ko sa sarili'y alam kong talo ako. It has been on my mind the whole night, rendering me sleepless. At sigurado akong gabi-gabi ko itong daranasin kung ipagsasawalang-bahala ko lamang ito. So to hell with it! Bahala na.

"Will you be fine here by yourself? I can always close the store if you can't manage alone." But before I can even think or change my mind again, inunahan ko na ang sarili ko.

"Bakit, Miss Lew? Aalis ka? O ipapamana mo na sa 'kin 'tong shop mo?" A mischievous smile is peeping on the corner of his mouth as he waited for my response.

Sarkastiko ko siyang sinipat dahil sa kabugukang sinabi. "Isisante kita, gusto mo?"

"Hala! Miss Lew, may tinatago ka palang humor? Akalain mo 'yun? Ha! Ha! Beri pani!" The idiot scornfully clapped his hands in slow motion with a mock amusement on his stupid face.

"So? Can you manage alone or not?" I demanded with one brow shot up.

"Uhh... hmnn." Sumeryoso siya sandali at kuryoso akong tinignan. "Aalis ka talaga? Saan ang punta mo, Miss Lew? Bakasyon? Gaano katagal?"

That... I haven't thought about how long I'm gonna be gone. But does it matter when I'm gonna be gone forever soon?

Tumikhim ako at pilit na iwinala ang mga naiisip. "I'm not sure yet how long. But I'm going home so siguro hindi naman ako magtatagal. Naiisip ko pa lang kung anong mga kabulastugan ang gagawin mo habang wala ako, parang ayaw ko nang umalis."

He grimaced at that. "Kailan ang alis mo, Miss Lew?"

I put down my finished mug of coffee, took my book and purse as I stand up. And while glancing over the horizon, I saw that the sun has already risen.

It's gonna be a long day, I thought to myself.

Lumingon akong muli kay Alfie. I gave him my sweetest smile then. "Now, kiddo. I am leaving right now."

Namilog ang mga mata niya at walang pasubaling nalaglag ang panga sa gulat. Panic then quickly painted his expression. "EH? T-Teka!"

Still smiling, I nodded and tapped his shoulder. "Take good care of the shop while I'm gone or I'll kick your ass out, alright?"

"Hala, joke lang 'yung pagtanda mong dalaga, Miss Lew! 'Wag mo 'ko iwan mag-isa rito! Miss Lew!"

Alfie kept calling out to me in panic but I didn't dare bat a single eye on him back. I closed the door and decided to go with only a book and a purse on my hand while trying not to tremble and run back in fear.

And as I take the first step to return back home, I can't help but stare at the bright rays of the sun, thinking how I was once like that—we're all once are. A sunrise. And right now, I am but a sun that's about to set with a pursuit of reconciling things before my coming end get the best of me.