Hey guys... sorry that I haven't posted in a while..... there has been some... stuff going on

trigger warning..... 

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Sarah's pov

I'm sitting on the roof edge

My phone keeps buzzing from notifications from my online friends, telling me not to do it.

it's tempting  but

I need to not pick up my phone, I turn my phone straight into airplane mode.

I'll do this alone, I know it is a little bit cold.

But my third eye is going blind, I don't care what happens next.

My body and mind, is unaligned.  All over the place.

It's playing tricks tricks on me making me think I was fine.

I think back to all my time

 When I would always say 

"I'm fine"

But really it's hurting me deep inside.

Cause I've been dreaming about you.

I've been wishing that I was next to you, by your side.

I've been dreaming of us.

I've been thinking this is not a need or a must, it's some lust.

But love has treated me so, so wrong and so

And I wanted to be, super duper true to you. 

I look up

But god, I don't know what to do

Cause last year I was only 22 years old.

Feels like it up and flew far away

but 23 years seems like me and you

I know sometimes I make you feel insane 

sorry that's just how I play this stupid game

I can't act like a child and disobey.

I look up at the sunrise that is coming up, and think of him, and our time together

"i'm sorry, baby." I wish i could've called him that

"Please, puppy" My little nickname for him

"I was trying to be ultra mega happy, to show you my smile." I wish he appreciated it 

"I wish I sent you, my feelings" I wish he knew

"and fuck it is so hard, being so damn far" Away from you..

I guess i'll just leave now, 

I'll be singing up above?

I had been waiting for you to tell me those three words

I had hoped it was true

that one day I'll feel like something real for you

Alright I posted this before.

and my writting style is kinda diffrent so yeah.